I'm Darren Marlar from DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News!
February is National "Return Shopping Carts" month.
***What?!?!
We have to return a YEAR'S WORTH of stolen shopping carts in 28 days?!?
Over in China's Zhejiang province, a man only identified by the surname Zhang (boy that
really narrows it down) decided he didn't want to pay to get into the zoo so he thought
he would hop a fence instead.
Unfortunately, he chose as his point of entry a fence that lead right to the tiger's enclosure.
Now somebody will have to pay for Mr. Zhang's funeral as he was mauled to death.
Zhang's wife and two children were much smarter and bought tickets to enter the zoo.
***When asked about it, the tigers replied, "He tasted grrrrrrreat!"
Vogue UK says that cleavage is "over," and
that women will be covering up their breasts more in favor of showing their arms and legs.
***For once in my life I'm hoping Vogue will be right about something.
The CEO of Starbucks says he's planning on hiring 10,000 refugees.
***So if you enjoy hearing almost unintelligible foreign accents when you call for computer
tech support, you'll also love your Starbucks coffee run.
In Rochester, New York, 52-year-old Rex Crooks showed up at jail to pick up a family member
at 6pm Sunday.
The first problem was the family member wasn't being released until 6am Monday.
The second problem was Crooks appeared to be stinking drunk.
Indeed, he allegedly blew a 0.31 on a breathalyzer -- nearly four times the legal limit -- and
was charged with aggravated DWI.
Even worse - Crooks was also cited for parking in a handicap spot.
It was actually Crooks' second aggravated DWI charge of October.
Earlier in the month, he was pulled over at 7am while allegedly drunkenly driving his
son to a work release program.
***Dude, just because your name is CROOK doesn't mean you have to live up to the
name.
To fight obesity France has issued a ban preventing restaurants from offering unlimited refills
of sugary soft drinks.
***Thousands of people took to the streets to burp in protest.
Some Burger King workers in New Hampshire were arrested for selling marijuana at work
using the code words "extra crispy."
***Well, Burger King does say, "Have it YOUR way..."
People who use Facebook appear to live longer if it serves to maintain and enhance their
real-world social ties, confirming what social scientists have known for a long time: People
who have stronger social networks live longer.
Now that network may include the online world, too.
The study: Led by William Hobbs and James Fowler of the University of California, San
Diego, the team matched 4 million California Facebook users with vital records from the
California Department of Public Health.
The study found that those who were on Facebook lived longer than those who were not.
***So LIKE me on Facebook… it might save your life!
A report says the Moon's gravity is slowing down the Earth's rotation and in another 180
Million years, days will be 25 hours long.
***I don't know about you, but I'm planning on getting another hour of sleep.
Two Illinois men were arrested after a chase that started in Des Moines, Iowa.
At around 1:30 Monday morning an officer attempted to pull over a Ford F-150 truck for an equipment
violation.
The driver refused to pull over but the chase ended after about 40 miles when the truck
ran out of gas.
***Obviously Chicago public school graduates who don't know the difference between the
letter E and the letter F.
On average, refrigerators get cleaned once every 110 days.
***That's just an average though.
Some of us wait until the guacamole gains sentience and asks to be given its freedom.
An asteroid came really close to Earth Sunday.
The problem with asteroids passing near Earth is they're often difficult to spot.
Asteroid 2017 BH30 was discovered Sunday just hours before passing by us at the creepy-close
distance of only 40,563 miles — closer than the moon.
This asteroid is estimated to be between 15 to 32 feet in length.
***So... not large enough to pick up any passengers, so put away the Nikes and sweatsuits.
A proposed bill in Rhode Island would fine people for stopping their cars to give panhandlers
money.
***That could be a real setback to the state's cardboard sign industry.
How would you feel if Punxsutawney Phil was
replaced with a robot?
Animal rights groups want organizers of Pennsylvania's Groundhog Day festival to replace Punxsutawney
Phil with a robotic stand-in.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals says it's unfair to keep the animal in captivity
and subject him to the huge crowds and bright lights that accompany tens of thousands of
revelers each Feb. 2 in Punxsutawney, a tiny borough about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.
***The rest of us think it's unfair to keep us captive to PETA's obtuse opinions.
So what do you think about a groundhog robot?
Good idea, or the beginning of Skynet destroying all human life on the planet?
Let me know in the comments below!
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For Marlar House and DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar.
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