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Dr. Oz On CPR: "Forget what you've seen on TV!" - Duration: 4:29.
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Networking for Introverts by alumna Ruth Gotian - Duration: 1:02:47.
- [Host] Today, alumna Ruth Gotian presents Networking
for Introverts.
Ruth is the Assistant Director for Mentoring,
Executive Director of Mentoring Academy,
the Chief Learning Officer in Anesthesiology,
and Assistant Professor of Education and Anesthesiology
at Weill Cornell Medicine.
She previously ran the Weill, Cornell, Rockefeller,
Sloane-Kettering, Tri-Institutional MD-PhD program
for over two decades.
Her research and work is focused
on what makes people successful,
specifically physician scientists.
If you have any issues with the audio,
please chat me directly, in the chat box.
And, without further adieu, Ruth Gotian.
- [Ruth] Hi, everyone.
I am Ruth Gotian.
I am the, as just mentioned,
I'm the Assistant Dean for Mentoring
at Weill Cornell Medicine, and a very proud TC alumna.
For other TC students and alumni
who might be joining us,
I think you will all agree with me
that something about walking
in those halls always feels like home.
So when I was asked to do this,
I didn't hesitate for a second,
because of my love for TC.
So I am a card-carrying extrovert
living in a world which, to me,
seems that I am working with many, many, many introverts.
I worked on the student side of things,
and now on the faculty side of things,
and I realized that they know how
to do their job extremely well,
but there were certain necessary parts
of their jobs, specifically networking,
which was painful for them.
So I decided to actually do a little bit
of research about this, and look into this,
take a deeper dive into this.
So that, one of my jobs is the Assistant Dean
for Mentoring at Weill Cornell Medicine,
and I deal with physician scientists
and educators all day long.
I oversee the success of 1800 faculty members.
Networking is something they have to do.
And I needed to find a way to make it less painful,
so that people weren't scared of it.
So I am sharing with you some tips
and tricks that have worked for others
when I tried to share it with them,
some from my research of when I looked into this issue.
And I'm going to offer you a buffet
of different things that you can try,
because not everything works for every person.
I do also wanna share that,
I started off by saying that I am an extrovert,
which I am, but nobody's clearly one or the other.
There are times that I show very introverted tendencies.
And I am also the wife and mother, and daughter,
of introverts.
So, I get it.
So, I really wanted to share with you some
of the things that I'm hoping will help you,
and see where this goes.
Okay, so I'm hoping that you have something
with an internet connection,
so that I can just get sort of a baseline
as to where everyone stands.
So we're going to take two polls.
This is the easiest way, 'cause I have people, actually,
throughout the world that are participating.
So you can go either online,
if you can just log in,
and we'll wait a minute or two for that,
so you can log in, and then we can take a poll.
So if you can, anything with an internet connection,
log onto Pollev.com/ruth, and log in.
And I'll wait a moment for that.
Okay.
So, what word do you think people use to describe you?
And here are some of the things that people have shared.
And for those of you have used Poll Everywhere
in the past, you'll know that the words
that come up larger are the ones
that are the most popular within the people
who are joining us on this webinar, and the poll.
So you will see things like hardworking, responsible,
smart, kind, passionate,
ambitious, nice, funny.
But you'll also see things like introverted,
humble, under-spoken, polite, listener,
reserved, compassionate.
And then we have, I see, some extroverts in this group
that may also be, that are also labeled
as, well, they labeled themselves as extroverted,
opinionated, and there was something else, persistent.
So, you know, I think we have a whole gamut here,
but it's not surprising that people,
when they describe introverts, they're often refereed to
as quiet, or a listener, or humble,
or under-spoken.
This is very, very, very common.
One thing to know is, just because you're not speaking,
you're not the first one to speak,
and you're not the one who's interrupting,
that doesn't mean you're not paying attention.
So, you know that and I know that,
we just need to educate others on that, as well.
So, let's see,
okay, so you guys think your introverts,
that's why you're participating.
And you are in really great company,
because anywhere from 1/3 to 1/2
of the population are actually introverts.
So, even though you might think that you are an introvert
in a very noisy world, in a world full
of extroverts where everyone is speaking their mind,
and interrupting, and sharing,
and you just want to listen,
and you don't wanna be in a room full of people,
just know you are not alone.
Because at least half the people
in that room are likely introverts, as well.
And these are some very famous introverts
that you might have heard of.
So, just because you're an introvert,
does not mean that you will not succeed.
You wrote that you're hardworking,
and that you're passionate, and things like that.
And introverts and extroverts alike are like that,
it's just the way
that they process information is different.
It doesn't mean one is more intelligent than the other,
or it also does not mean
that one can move up ranks faster than the other.
So, the previous Google CEO was an extrovert,
the current one is an introvert.
And other famous ones who you know,
everyone from Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg,
scientists like Einstein, political leaders,
actors, actresses, authors, political activists,
they are everywhere,
and if you start looking at these more and more,
you'll see that you recognize many of them,
and maybe even identify with some of them.
So we're gonna try another poll.
What is your biggest networking challenge?
And then we'll see if we can find ways
to overcome some of those obstacles.
So, ready?
Go!
So as the ideas start coming in,
you'll see a lot has to do with actually talking,
talking to people, figuring out what to say.
Introverts always say that they need time
to formulate their ideas,
which is why at the end of talks
when they say, "Does anyone have any questions?",
it's always the extroverts that jump out,
'cause we need to get it out of our mouth
before we forget it,
while introverts need time to formulate their questions.
They also don't like chitchat, as you know,
and smalltalk is just the worst for them.
So, how to connect with people in an authentic way,
what to say to people, how to do it
without losing sight of who you are,
branding yourself, chatting with people you don't know
about conversations you may not feel comfortable with,
how to start that conversation,
especially how to do it without looking creepy.
Um, and some people are just not comfortable doing it.
So we're gonna talk about, really,
how to communicate, how to approach people,
how to start that conversation,
and how to really launch into that networking space
in a way that will not make you feel super uncomfortable.
Now one thing that's very important
that I think the extroverts need to learn,
is just because you like being alone,
does not mean that you are lonely.
And let me say that again.
Being alone does not mean being lonely.
Which means, the way you network has to be different.
It doesn't always need to be around a room full of people.
We just got through the holiday season,
so you probably, many of you have had office holiday party,
and that might have been just cringe-worthy for many of you.
So let's figure out if we can find a way to do it
without making you feel, like someone wrote,
socially exhausted.
So let's see if we can find a way of doing that.
And I see the topics are,
the challenges are still coming in,
so let's keep reading them.
People want to know what to discuss,
they need to know their pitch,
so we'll talk about that.
Um, staying interested in small talk, yes.
Too self conscious, social anxiety walking into a room,
that's a big deal.
Asking someone, there's been a few comments
about asking for help.
Figuring out the right words to say is critical,
and we're actually going to talk about that, as well,
and what to discuss.
Alright, I'll give some tips for that, as well.
Approaching someone, acting natural, okay.
Ask what I want, and make meaningful connections.
So there's quite a bit of talk here
about authenticity, as well, and feeling nervous, okay,
and maintaining those relationships.
So we are going to come up with tips
on how you can do that.
Okay, I see there's a little lull
in the responses coming in,
so we will move on so that we can start talking
about some of these tips and tricks.
So first let's start with,
why do you even need to bother going
to networking events?
Especially if you're not comfortable,
you find them socially exhausting,
you might feel socially anxious,
you may not drink, and there's alcohol there,
and there're people there you don't know,
and people might be higher rank than you,
or it's too much noise, or too much visual
or sound stimulation, and you don't feel comfortable.
Why do you even need to go?
Well, you really need to go.
And networking definitely needs
to be part of the activities that you do
if you wish to get promoted, and wish to get out there.
You are going to find when you go to networking events,
that there are people that have different experiences
from you.
Those people may not be senior to you,
it could be someone who's your peer,
it could be somebody who's junior to you.
But they will have experiences
that can help you, just like you will have experiences
that can help them.
And that's where being an individual is so important.
But people are not going to know
about your experiences, and what you can bring
to the table, if you don't have a way to share it with them.
You also provide a different perspective.
So people who are going through a challenge,
or they want to build something,
you might have a perspective because it's part
of your experience, you've done it before.
It could be part of your upbringing,
it could be part of your education.
You always bring in a different perspective.
And every time I go to networking events
and we discuss whatever it is,
a hiring strategy, a mentoring strategy,
a workshop strategy, whatever it is,
and I could just mention one thing,
and people will say, oh, I hadn't thought of that.
And the same thing is when I bring up the challenge,
or an opportunity, and they talk about something
that they have tried, and I would say,
oh I had never thought of that.
So getting these different perspectives is key.
You also get people with different skill sets
that can help you.
So if you want to start creating an activity and,
let's say you wanna create a blended learning curriculum.
You know you wanna do it,
you know it's a hot topic right now,
you know the broad strokes,
but you don't really have that IT experience.
You don't really know
what's the best learning management system out there,
what's the best platform to use,
how do I even start this?
There are people with the skills and the know-how
that you really wish to connect with.
You can go to a networking event
and find out somebody's on the editorial team
of a journal that you would really like
to publish with.
I have a colleague who I publish with,
she is a master networker,
and she has found the editors at major, major journals
at these networking events,
and since then she has been publishing
in that journal regularly.
So if that's one of the things
that you're interested in doing,
I highly recommend it.
So as you know, many jobs are not even posted,
and it's a lot of from within.
So you need to let people know what you do,
what you're interested in.
And even if you're not looking for a job,
if they know who you are
because they're going to have a job,
if they post it later, or an opening later,
you want them to think about you.
So getting out there
and getting your name out there is critical.
So that's yet another reason to network.
Also, it's all about referrals, who you know
and who they know.
So we all have the social media referrals,
such as LinkedIn.
But we also have these in-person referrals
that occur all the time at these networking events.
So that's something that you really should consider.
Finally, you don't know what you don't know.
And you don't know what career options,
you know, we all know
that things that we were trained for are not even going
to exist in a few years.
So we need to know where people are headed,
and thinking, and considering.
And that's what these options are for.
I have worked in higher ed
for the last 27 out of 29 years,
and that has been my world.
And as I said, the last 22
of those years have been medical education.
But there's a whole other world outside of that,
and if all I ever do is hang out with higher ed
and medical ed people,
I wouldn't know what else is out there.
So that is critical.
And, of course, political capital.
It's not who you know, it's who the people
in your network know.
So here's an example.
I'm trying to get a government grant
for qualitative research.
And for those of you who do qualitative research,
you will know that the government is not very big
on funding qualitative research.
But I found somebody who got a grant for it.
And I sent that person, just yesterday,
a cold email saying, I'd really love to chat
to figure out how you got this government grant.
And I told the chair of my department
that I tried to do this.
And his response was, great,
if you don't hear back, let me know,
and I will contact my friend there,
and that's a political capital.
It's the people who they know,
and with one email,
they can get a lot further than I can get,
because they're higher ranked,
and they have a bigger network of people
who are not even in my network.
So I need all of these things
from all of these people,
so to know them is helpful.
You should also realize that you will need
to give back, and do that as well,
to other people.
You will need to help them because you have the network
that can help a lot of other people.
I wanna talk a little bit about teams,
and why you need a mentoring team
and a network of mentors.
They do provide multiple perspectives, as I mentioned.
They have varied experiences,
and they can expand your network.
It's everyone who you know,
and that they know.
So you shouldn't, when you network,
only network with one type of people,
but really try to share that with as many people
as you can, from as many diverse fields
that you can, because you never know where things can lead.
So when you go to these dreaded networking events of yours,
you cannot leave until three things happen.
People need to know who you are, right?
They need to know what industry you're in.
And they need to know how to get a hold of you.
So, what's your name?
What do you do?
Are you in healthcare?
Are you in education?
Are you in politics?
Are you in the legal profession?
And how would they contact you?
We'll talk about this a little bit more.
I am still a fan of the old fashioned business cards.
And we're gonna talk about them in a minute.
So you hate these networking events,
but you know you need to do them.
As an introvert, how can you network?
And these are some of the topics that we're going
to talk about, to help you get
through those dreaded networking events.
Everything from small groups, how you approach events,
something called starter sentences,
the use of social media, connecting with the right people,
and there were a lot of challenges people talked
about being authentic.
And I definitely wanna drive the point home,
don't try and be something you are not.
It won't work, people will see right through it.
Okay, here are some of the tips.
So if you are an introvert,
and you're really not comfortable,
and you just wanna hide inside a big sweater
or under a blanket, or at home,
here are some things that you can try.
Not all of them will work for you.
But you can pick the ones,
you can try a few.
And it may not work in one situation,
it may work in another.
So, joining a committee.
Now I know that the idea of smalltalk is not something
that you love, but joining a committee allows you
to be part of a smaller group.
And if you're more interested
in doing some of the behind the scenes work,
so you don't have to do the social chitchat,
this might be great.
The one thing you need to know is,
when you're joining a committee,
you need to, before you join a committee,
figure out your strength.
Are you great at big picture?
Are you better at logistics?
Are you better at generating ideas?
Are you better at finding the right people?
Know what that is,
so know what value you bring to a committee.
And make sure you do that.
Don't try, if you don't know how to do logistics,
don't volunteer to do that.
Only volunteer to do what is your strength.
But joining a committee allows you to be part
of a small group.
You should also volunteer to host an event
to show your skills.
So, if you have an interest in photography,
you can say, who wants to go with me
to a museum?
Or who wants to go hiking with me?
Or who would like to go out to dinner,
we're going to have Tex Mex?
And you can do it with three or four people,
it doesn't have to be a big group.
But then you actually get to talk about topics
that are of interest to you.
So giving a talk, why would an introvert ever want
to give a talk?
Well, the reason is actually quite simple.
You get to pick the topic,
you get to pick the topic and talk about something
that you are very comfortable with.
So I deal a lot with, as I said,
physicians and scientists,
and actually my doctorate
at TC was about optimizing success of physician scientists.
I looked at the people who are physicians
and also do biomedical research,
and I looked at the most successful ones
of our generation, including Nobel laureates,
and some, former Surgeon General of the United States,
and Howard Hughes investigators,
and people of that level.
And some of them were definitely introverts.
But when you get them talking about their science,
it's as if the rest of the world shuts off,
and they were just in their zone, in their moment.
So if you're able to give a talk
about a topic that's of interest to you,
this might be where you actually shine.
You can give that talk and all the questions will be
about this topic that you are so passionate about.
So find your passion, and see if you can find a platform
for giving that talk.
So I said I'm a big fan
of using old-fashioned business cards.
So when you do meet someone,
and it doesn't have to be that you talk to them
for a long time.
We'll talk about that.
It will have those three things
we talked about before,
who you are, what industry you're in,
and how to reach you.
When you give a business card,
you're actually likely to get one, as well.
As soon as you get it,
on the back of the business card,
you write where you met the person,
the date, and one thing that you talked
to that person about, that will resonate with them.
So you can meet with someone,
and just talk to them for three, four, five minutes,
get their business card, and walk away.
You are done with that networking point.
The rest of the networking you will do
behind a screen, in the comfort of your own house,
in your pajamas and fuzzy slippers.
You don't have to worry about being
in that social situation.
But you wanna be very thoughtful
as to how you write that email,
and you want to also write down something
that was discussed so that they can remember you.
So the one thing I always recommend to people is that,
you don't always have your wallet with you,
which is where most people put their business cards,
but you always have your phone with you.
And I even say this to physicians,
and I say it to surgeons.
In the OR, they don't have their wallets with them,
but they always have their phone.
I gave them all pockets to put on their back
of the phone, and they stick their business cards in there.
And this way they can exchange it
with even the other doctors, the nurses,
the people in the next OR,
the people in the elevator, whoever it is.
And I teach them that same skill.
I know some people are against the paper,
and they like to use the electronic business cards.
I think that's great, and it definitely reduces paper.
The reason I don't like it for this initial contact,
is because they give it to you,
but then you forget to follow up,
because it's in your contact list,
and you don't have something to remind you to follow up.
So you can try both ways, see what works for you.
I am still a very big fan of the business cards.
When I get a business card,
I put it on my desk and I know I give myself 48 hours
to respond.
And I have something written on the back.
Oh, you know, Joanne, it was so nice
to meet you on Tuesday, I loved our discussion
about blah, blah, blah.
I was thinking about this since we met,
and I was wondering what your thoughts were on X?
And now we have a whole conversation going.
Okay?
You all know about the elevator pitch,
we tell it to all of our students,
but everyone needs to have one.
So you never know who you're going to meet.
You never know if you're going to be
in the elevator with the president of your institution,
or the CEO, and you need to, again,
it's that same thing, who you are,
what division you're in, and how they can reach you.
So I would say, "I'm Ruth Gotian,
"I'm the Assistant Dean for Mentoring.
"I'm in charge of the success of our 1800 faculty.
"Very nice to meet you."
and I exchange business cards sometimes.
If not, if I know if it's the CEO,
I know how to reach that person.
But you need to have your elevator pitch
that has those three things,
who you are, what field you're working in,
and how they can reach you, okay?
There are people who have gotten,
and I share this story, this was at Sloan Kettering,
where a colleague of mine was in the elevator
with a post-doctoral fellow.
And in walked in the Chief Medical Officer
of the hospital, and she said oh,
so and so, this is, and she introduced the post-doc fellow,
who's working on, whatever she was working on.
And that was the introduction,
they chatted for 30 seconds, and that was it.
A month later,
the Chief Medical Officer contacts my colleague,
and he said, I got a call for nominations for an award
in this field.
Who was that person you introduced
to me in the elevator that happens
to be working in that field?
And don't you know, the Chief Medical Officer
who met this person for 30 seconds,
nominated her for a big award,
because that person was in his mind.
So you need to always have that pitch ready.
We're gonna talk, and I'll give you some examples
of some starter conversation sentences.
A lot of the things that you guys wrote had to do
with communication.
How do you start that conversation?
How do you have an icebreaker?
What do you talk about?
How do you approach somebody?
So we're going, I'll give you some examples
of some starter conversation sentences
which will be key, and it will really reduce
that anxiety level.
Now this last point, I don't know if it's the last point,
but for introverts especially, social media,
email, list serves, working behind the screen is going
to be your saving grace.
Because you can take the time to formulate your ideas.
You don't need to respond in real time.
And some of the most successful introverts
I work with are actually very, very,
they work quite a bit with the social media
and on different list serves.
So I want you to consider using that to elevate your brand,
and to be able to network.
Because that counts, that's considered networking,
when you're communicating, and contacting other people,
that is networking.
No one says it always has to be face-to-face.
Twitter, especially, has taken on a whole new world,
and is actually used quite a bit
in the professional platforms.
You know, obviously we talked about email a little bit,
and list serves.
I also recommend when you have guest speakers,
you can either organize that person,
or coming in and listening.
And here's the thing, the first time I gave this talk,
it was actually to students, and I was at some conference,
and I don't know how I mentioned it as an off-hand of,
oh I've got some tips if, you know,
'cause the introverts there were saying
that they had some challenge with this, I said oh,
I have some tips, I'd be happy to share them.
Before I know, I was giving this talk.
And I was working with a student
who I had known for two years.
I communicated more with that student
in the organization of that workshop than I did
in all the two years combined.
And it was 99% done via email.
And so, you know, this gave him a way
to communicate and network,
and it really worked out beautifully for him.
So now when it comes to doing things like that,
I try to, any introvert who's interested,
I try to give them those opportunities to organize,
if they have an idea, to come up with a speaker,
or contact the speaker, et cetera.
Also, listen to what they're saying.
And you can always, again, follow up with an email,
most speakers put their emails at the end,
when you're ready and you have your question formulated.
Same things with meetings and conferences.
You can, it's the same idea,
just on a bigger scale, you can organize, et cetera.
I also recommend arriving early.
And the reason I do that is,
the speaker is always there early to set up,
and to check the IT, and all of this.
And then they're just sort of standing around
for 15 minutes.
And, you know, I tell people, whenever I give a talk,
I'm like Michael Phelps.
I have my blinders on, and I am just super focused, right?
Until I can,
I'm super focused, I've done everything I can do,
and then I'm just sort of standing there.
Awkwardly standing there.
And when somebody arrives early,
it at least gives me someone to talk to.
And if there's a speaker that you're interested in,
if you arrive 15 minutes early,
they're very often just standing there,
trying not to look awkward.
You're putting them out of an agonizing situation,
and you could say, hi Dr. so and so,
very nice to meet you,
and then again, you're going with those three things,
who you are, what department you're in,
and how they can contact you.
And you might want to ask them a question
that you had already thought of in advance,
especially if you're not comfortable asking that question
in a big group.
But now you're there early, and it might be just one on one.
So you might wanna think about arriving early.
I would recommend going to those things
that are smaller, lectures, demos.
They're smaller groups, and it might be easier,
and they're people with the same interests as you.
I don't know if you know, but there are also groups
that, for that time when you do wanna go out,
that are built around things that you are passionate about.
So there's actually Meetups
for people by Myers Briggs groupings.
I found this out, and I thought it was fascinating.
So if you're an INTJ, for example,
there's actually a Meetup for groups like that.
There's also a group for yogis,
Meetups for people who like orchids, whatever it is,
you can find that.
When you're ready to expand your wings
and try other things, you might want to attach yourself
to the groups that your friends are involved with.
'Cause remember,
your friends have different backgrounds than you,
different perspectives than you,
different experiences than you.
When you're ready to join a different group,
with people who are not exactly like you,
start with your friends first,
because they're your safety group.
And you know that you'll always have a friend there,
somebody that you're comfortable with.
And then you can learn other things as well,
while you're in that group.
When you go to groups that meet
on a regular basis, like for example yoga,
or a book club, or something like that,
you're more likely to see the same people every single time,
and that reduces the stress level
and the anxiety level.
And, especially those who go to TC,
or went to TC, you know about community of practice,
because we talk about these things all the time.
For those who don't know, community of practice is a group
of people who, it's usually professional,
who are like you.
So for example, I ran the MD-PhD program here
for 22 years.
I was in a community of practice with other people
who did that.
I was in a few, I was in a regional one,
so that would be people who ran those kind
of programs at other New York based medical schools.
And I was also in a national one,
which was people from, you know,
it's 200 people from the entire country.
And then I was in a third one,
this is all related to MD-PhD,
of very seasoned people who did this work,
people who have done this for 15, 20 years,
25, 30, even one was 40 years.
Because our needs were very different than someone
who has been doing this for five years.
So, all part of MD-PhD, but I was part of different groups.
Yes we had conferences, yes we had meetings,
but we communicated by email more than anything else.
So I encourage you, within your own professional sphere,
to join a community of practice.
If they don't have one, you can start one.
It starts with as easy as an email,
an email list serve, that's what it starts with.
There's actually one woman in the Midwest who,
she's a female physician, I think she's a surgeon
and it was coming to a time
where she just couldn't find a lot
of people like her, she actually created her own community
of practice.
They now have a conference every year,
over 300 people come.
So, but again, it starts small,
it starts with an email list serve.
And I highly, highly, highly recommend
that you do that.
It also means when you meet the person in person,
it'll be a little bit easier for you,
because you've already been communicating with them.
Okay, so now you have to go
to this dreaded networking event.
How are you going to survive?
The first thing is, and this was some
of the challenges that some of you listed,
do not try to be something you are not.
If you're an introvert, don't pretend
to be an extrovert.
It doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for other people.
You are who you are.
You have certain things that make you unique,
and that's what you need to be proud of.
You're great at thinking big picture,
or you have excellent observation skills,
or listening skills, or thought process,
or planning, or whatever it is.
That's who you are, that's who you should be.
We're all grownups, don't try to be something you're not.
Right, we have enough with kids trying to do that.
You be your own person.
It's the most authentic.
That's why people hired you.
That's why people wanna be around you.
Just be that.
No one says that you have to network in large groups.
You can network in very small groups.
So try that as a different approach.
You don't have to go to the CEO's holiday party
with 500 people.
You can go to something within your department
that might be 20 people.
That's okay.
You should practice active
and appreciative listening when you are there.
So, if you decide that you're gonna go
to a networking event, and we'll talk about time limits
in a moment, when you are there, you are all in.
You are actually really listening.
You see it, people see it in your body language,
they see it when you're nodding your head,
they see it with your eyes,
they see it when you say uh huh,
that's right, oh, thank you.
Right, so you're going to practice
that active listening, and appreciative listening.
It's always easier when you can enter an event
with someone you know.
Even as an extrovert, I don't like walking
into a crowded room by myself.
I always seek out another person who will come with me.
Most people do not like to enter by themselves.
And I have asked everyone from the chair of the department,
to a student, a secretary, an administrator,
I don't care who I walk in with,
as long as I don't have to walk by myself,
and walk in by myself.
And if you want, you can always,
if you don't wanna say, I'm not comfortable walking
into large rooms by myself, I always say,
do you wanna share an Uber?
And most people do.
So you might want to consider that.
So this is a tip,
so I actually asked a lot of people who I know,
and these are some of the tips
that they gave me, as well.
And they said, find someone who's younger than you,
and approach them.
Because if you think you're uncomfortable,
even if they're really extroverts,
if they're very young in a room full
of people who are older than them,
they are very uncomfortable.
And now if you're going in,
if you have even six months more experience than they do,
you are now the mentor, because you've been through,
you have those perspective and experiences they don't have.
So go up to somebody who's younger,
introduce yourself, and now you have somebody
that you can go talk to.
You're going to feel better, and they are definitely going
to feel much better.
And you'll know that when you make someone else feel better,
you automatically will feel better yourself.
Okay, there is nothing wrong
with saying, I am going to be at this networking event
for 55 minutes.
It doesn't even have to be a whole hour.
55 minutes.
And when you approach one particular person,
and you might say, I need to make contact
with these five people, give yourself a time limit
of how long you are willing to talk to them.
Five minutes, 10 minutes,
whatever you think you're comfortable with.
And when those 10 minutes are up,
you just go to the restroom and regroup.
And that's fine.
It is absolutely fine to go to the restroom and regroup.
Or, you have to check something on your phone,
or you just got a text from home,
whatever it is.
But give yourself a time limit
to talk to someone, and then go find your quiet space,
so that you can just get that equilibrium again.
And as I said, give yourself a time limit
for the networking event.
And if you don't make it a round hour,
it'll seem much shorter.
So instead of 60 minutes,
say I'm gonna be there for 45 minutes.
Nobody's gonna know the difference.
Nobody is going to know.
I was at a holiday event for a very senior dean
at the Institution.
The dean was there for half the event
for his own party, and I didn't see him
for the other half.
And the people who came in later,
and they said, where is this senior dean?
And I said, I dunno, he must've left.
So they left, too.
They just wanted to be seen by that person.
So figure out who those people are
that you wanna talk to,
who needs to see that you were there.
Give yourself that time limit, and then go leave.
That's it, that's fine, alright?
In between, when you don't find somebody
you wanna talk to, or you need to wrap your mind
about what you're going to talk about,
and there's not always a quiet corner,
I always recommend, especially if it's in somebody's house,
this is always helpful, either look at the art
on the walls, and do a whole, walk around the room looking
at the art as if you're at the Met,
it's the most exciting piece of artwork
you've ever seen, or look at the books on the shelves.
And then someone else will usually join you,
if they see you looking at the books on the shelves.
So people mentioned that one of their challenges is
they didn't know how to start the conversation.
So I wanna talk a little bit about your intro.
You should have a 10 to 30 second introduction
of yourself.
Hi, I'm Dr. Ruth Gotian, I am the Assistant Dean
for Mentoring at Weill Cornell Medicine.
I oversee the success of 1800 faculty members.
Period.
That's my intro.
I then pivot to ask about them,
ask them a question.
Oh I'm sorry, I didn't get your name,
what department are you in?
Talk another 30 seconds about yourself.
Then you ask a question of the other person.
See, you're trying to deflect off of yourself
if you're not comfortable talking about yourself.
And then you do that active and appreciative listening.
And then you repeat the whole process.
So if you see, you're really only talking about yourself
for 60 seconds.
But you're getting the other person to do the talking.
And you're doing what you do best, you're listening.
That's it.
And if you can do that three to five times
throughout the event, you can be outta there
in 45 minutes or less.
Now people were talking about
they don't quite know how to start the conversation.
And they want to, they want to find a way
to start the conversation without actually feeling creepy
when they're asking people about themselves.
So we have these friends that we have dinner
with about once a month, and he is definitely an introvert.
Both the husband and wives are introverts.
The husband hides it better,
he knows how to work better as an extrovert,
because those are the people he has to work with,
so he knows how to pivot as needed.
But I already know the signs.
So every time we see him,
which is about once a month,
he says to me, so what's new and exciting
in the medical education field?
And right away he got me talking.
And this is a pattern that happens every single month.
So you might wanna start, when you see someone,
even if you know, and even if you know
they're working in another department,
so what's new and exciting in the legal profession?
Right?
Rarely are they gonna say nothing.
They're gonna start talking about some big project
they're working on.
So here are some starter sentences
you may wish to consider when you approach someone.
So, something like, what brought you here?
Or, how'd you hear about this event?
Were you stuck in traffic?
What a gorgeous venue.
I had this once, we were at some event,
it was one of the most beautiful things,
and I kept looking at the view.
And then I would talk to someone,
have you ever been here before?
And they'd say yes, I had such and such an event.
And then we started talking about that event.
So for those of you who are in New York City,
it's very easy to ask, so,
was it a pain for you to get here today?
I work, as I mentioned, with a lot of physicians
who are in the OR.
Everyone wears the same color scrubs everyday,
and they try to differentiate themselves
by their socks.
So I often talk about socks.
And at events, I like to talk about shoes.
'Cause I also like shoes.
If it's at a conference,
I ask questions about the conference.
Which speaker did you really like?
And, you know, if you are a fan
of the Stephen Brookfield work, you can say,
what surprised you about the conference?
Just look at his critical incident questionnaire.
What surprised you about the conference?
What speaker really got you engaged?
So you may wanna think about those kind of questions.
Are you giving a talk or a poster?
Oh, now you're probably getting 'em talking
about their research,
this can go on for a very long time.
If it's an organization you have to be a member of,
how long have you been a member?
Or, how long have you worked here?
I'm very proud to say I worked at Weill Cornell Medicine
for 22 years.
And I can talk to you about the five different deans
that we've had, the different types of students,
how admissions has changed,
and we can go on for a very long time.
So these are some starter sentences
that can really get you out of that stumbling block.
And again,
most of the time you're getting the other person to talk.
I wanna close it up with a few book recommendations.
And these are some of my favorites.
So, you'll see in the middle The Discussion Book.
That's, I'm a big fan of Stephen Brookfield's work.
He's a TC faculty member.
He wrote The Discussion Book,
and then a couple years ago he wrote this,
The Discussion Book, 50 Great Ways to Get People Talking.
This is fabulous for those of you who are either teaching
or working in teams and need to find ways
to get everyone to share their ideas.
And there's 50 different ideas that he gives,
including starter questions.
So you might wanna try that.
The book Quiet by Susan Cain.
She's given TED talks, she is an introvert,
and she really gives a look behind the curtain
as to what are some of the things
that introverts go through every day.
The Introvert's Way,
Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World is one
that I more recently read, and really enjoyed.
It's written in a very lighthearted, funny way.
And I think you would, I definitely enjoyed it.
And then there's Improve Your Social Skills.
The Quiet, Introvert's Way,
and Improve Your Social Skills are probably
the three biggest books on the market right now.
And I know they're also available on Audible
for those who like that, as well.
So, finally, I offer questions.
Now the reason I have Lynda Carter there
as Wonder Woman is because I mentioned I talk
to physicians and scientists a lot,
and when they ask questions, when they learn,
they actually, they learn by poking holes.
So it's like having daggers being thrown at you.
And I always feel I need to have my deflectors on.
But when you work with educators,
and this is what TC enlightened me to,
the questions are really to enhance the knowledge,
and you don't really feel like you're being attacked,
which was a whole different world for me,
and a very nice one.
So I am really excited to answer any questions
or comments you had.
I had a few started phrases there for you,
if that would help you get started.
If you want to network later,
or you want to ask your question a little bit later
because you need a little bit more time to formulate it,
or you need to run, there is my email.
And I'm also quite active on Twitter and Linkedin,
so feel free to join.
So, thank you.
- [Host] Thank you so much, Ruth.
- Absolutely - If you have questions,
please feel free to insert them into the questions pane,
and I'll start reading through them.
I love that you have these started phrases,
this is perfect.
So, I have one question, and it is,
what is a good starter question
when you've met someone before
and it's inappropriate to ask the basics of who they are?
- [Ruth] Ah, so I would go back to,
what's new and exciting in the field of,
whatever their field is?
And I can now ask that to, when I heard that,
I thought that was the best starter phrase ever.
And, you know, as I said,
my friend who sees me every month asks that,
and now I ask that to people
in every single field.
It also gives me an insight into their field.
Alright, I asked that to our lawyer,
who's here all the time,
and I get to hear some of the big challenges
that they're working on.
Everything from Title IX, to privacy issues,
to research confidentiality issues,
to intellectual property issues.
I mean, if I didn't ask that question,
I never would get the insight.
I hope
that answers your question. - Great, so,
the next question is,
what is the most graceful way
to end a conversation without seeming rude
or too abrupt?
- [Ruth] Um, well, you can say,
would you like a refill on your drink?
Or, I see so and so, I just wanna go say hi.
Or, I just got a text,
I need to run out and see who that is,
I need to make sure there's not a problem with whatever.
Just say, I came here and I left a little crisis
at the office, I just wanna go check in
that everything's okay.
So, just the same way that you have these starter sentences,
and this gives me an idea, I should really add this
to the presentation, is closing sentences, as well.
So those are some things,
and, you know, I blame a lot on my kids.
I always say I have to check in,
we're having a Civil War history crisis
that we need to solve.
I try to make it funny, so that they don't feel
I'm trying to ditch them.
- [Host] Great, so the next question is,
what do you mean by active and appreciative listening?
Does this involve body gestures, as well?
- [Ruth] Yes, so you don't wanna look
like a concrete wall.
You want to look like you're paying attention,
and those are the things like nodding,
leaning in a little bit closer,
saying uh huh, I agree, or asking questions throughout.
So, how did you handle such and such?
And again, you can do that by,
you have to be listening and truly listening
in order to be able to ask those questions.
So it is the body language, it is the nodding,
it is not looking at your phone
while they're talking, but actually looking at them
in their eyes.
Or, if you're not comfortable looking at people's eyes,
I recommend looking at their nose,
and then keep nodding and saying uh huh, and absolutely,
I agree.
Add those few phrases.
- [Host] Fantastic.
What about, how do you reintroduce yourself
to someone senior whom you've met before,
when you aren't sure they probably remember you?
- [Ruth] Oh, you could just say,
hi, I'm Ruth Gotian from the Mentoring Academy.
We actually met a while back, I dunno if you remember,
it was in this and this situation.
Anyway, I've really followed your work,
and I'm really excited about whatever.
But again, you're trying to deflect,
you just need to say who you are,
and what area you're from, right?
I'm Ruth Gotian, and we met at whatever conference,
and you can tell them.
And, if you can describe it in such a way
that it creates a picture,
we met at such and such a conference in Arizona in July,
it was 100 degrees at 7:00 a.m.,
we met on the Starbucks line.
Oh now I have an image of what that looks like,
and maybe that'll trigger something.
And if not, don't worry about it,
just give your name and where you're from,
and what you do, and continue the conversation.
- [Host] Fantastic.
The next question we have is,
how do you break into an existing group's conversation
at an event?
- [Ruth] (laughs) Oh, that is so hard.
Again, if you know one of the people who are there,
you just go up and say, you just stand there,
and most people are polite enough
that they will open up the circle.
And if you want to, you can come in and just say,
hi there, so good to see you guys.
And that's it.
I would just walk up.
And you know what I realized?
No one's gonna push you away.
It took me a long time to realize that,
and it took me a while to realize that once I rose
through the ranks, you can sit
at the most senior person's group, and join their group,
they will never turn you away.
Ever.
So just join them, just join them.
I went up to an event where there was the former CEO
of Xerox, and I must've been chatting with someone
or doing something, because I came in late.
And the only, it was a sit-down lunch,
and the only spot was in the table right
in front of the stage, that was the only spot.
So I just sat down.
And you know who happened to be there?
The Chief Operating Officer of the hospital,
the two organizers of the event,
and the former CEO of Xerox.
And you know what?
Nobody pushed me away, nobody told me
to get up and leave.
So I sat there, and I chatted as if I belonged.
And they thought I did.
So, try it.
- [Host] So we have one person who is,
she attends a lot of networking
and informational interviews,
even though she's an introvert.
But the struggle
that she's having is building a mentoring relationship.
She's heard people talk about asking someone
to be a mentor, but she doesn't know how
to broach the subject.
What would you recommend when you meet someone
who you think would be a good mentor?
- [Ruth] Ah, so that's a whole other presentation
that I give.
And finding a mentor is key.
But I also recommend finding a team of mentors.
I also strongly suggest that you don't say
to someone, will you be my mentor?
It's very confining.
And right away they're thinking,
what are the time commitments to all of this?
You don't ask someone to be your friend,
so why would you ask someone to be your mentor?
So you can actually get mentoring advice from people,
and not have that official label
of they are my mentor, I'm their mentee.
It's only after a while
that you have this relationship
where you can then send them an email
and say, thank you very much for all your mentorship
and guidance, it's greatly appreciated,
et cetera, et cetera.
I had a student who I have known him for seven years,
and just last week he mentioned to me
that he considers me one of his mentors.
I had no idea.
I had never even thought of it.
He said, "You have given me guidance
"for seven years, what'd you think it was?"
I said, "Oh, you know, you're right."
But I never gave myself that label,
he never asked to give me that label,
but it was after the fact.
So you can go up to people
who help you, or you want them to help you,
and if they give you guidance,
they're your mentors.
They don't need a placard that says that.
So you don't need to ask them,
because it's very, I said it's very confining
and stressful for them.
'Cause they're gonna think, I need to give you an hour
or two a week, we need to do this,
we need to do that.
You don't need to do that.
- [Host] Right.
So this is gonna be the last question
because I just wanna be mindful
of everyone's time.
I know there is a lot of other questions in the queue,
and I'm so sorry that we can't answer all of them.
But please, definitely reach out to Ruth
on her email or Twitter.
But the very last question I'm going to ask is,
so you go to a networking event,
you meet people, you exchange a couple of emails.
What's the next step to keep the conversation going,
and develop and maintain these connections
you've received?
- [Ruth] So you now are starting,
you have this communication.
You don't have to email them every week,
but I like to recommend that you communicate
with people either once a quarter,
or once every six months,
depending on who they are.
So you can reach out to them,
before I go to a conference, if it's someone I know
who's in that field, I will reach out to them,
probably three, four weeks in advance and say,
oh, I'm going to be at the whatever conference,
any chance you'll be there?
And then they'll say yes,
and I'll say oh, would you like to meet up for coffee?
Right?
Or, if you're writing a paper,
you'll say to someone,
I'm really writing, I'm writing a paper on this issue,
I really was hoping you,
either you might have some time,
or you might know of someone who could read it over
and give me some feedback before I submit it
for publication.
You wanna, you know, give an ask that's not an enormous ask.
And then every so often, what I do is,
if I have had some sort of achievement,
I actually share it with some people,
people who helped me get there.
So it's not just this bragging about yourself,
but it's just a nice little email about either,
here's an article I wrote,
or a presentation I gave,
thank you for all of your advice,
for helping me get to this point.
I especially, your guidance on such
and such was very helpful to reaching this point,
here's the article, here's a link to the presentation,
here's whatever it is.
So, or every so often you can say,
dear so and so, I was just thinking about you last week,
I had met someone and your name came up
in conversation because we were talking about whatever.
So, you might wanna think
about doing that every quarter or so.
- [Host] Great.
Thank you, everyone, for all your questions.
I'm so sorry we couldn't go through all of them.
Please feel free to reach out to Ruth
at her email or Twitter.
Ruth, thank you so much for taking the time
to share your expertise with the TC community.
A video of this presentation will be available
on our website.
And that website URL, again,
is www.tc.edu/alumni/careerwebinars.
And you will also receive an email in the next few days
with a link to the presentation, as well.
Please visit our website for more information
about our monthly webinars and upcoming events.
We hope you can join us for our next webinar,
Knockout Presentations: Be Clear, Concise, and Confident
on February 13 with alumna Diane DiResta.
Thank you again, all, for joining us.
And we hope you have a wonderful day.
- [Ruth] Thank you.
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Amazing Extra-spacious Living Begins VILLA³ by MOD³ DESIGN - Duration: 2:01.
Amazing Extra-spacious Living Begins VILLA³ by MOD³ DESIGN
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Dr. Sanjay Gupta's Take: Is Coffee Good or Bad For You? - Duration: 3:08.
For more infomation >> Dr. Sanjay Gupta's Take: Is Coffee Good or Bad For You? - Duration: 3:08. -------------------------------------------
ALL THE WAYS YOU CAN FIT A CELLO IN A TESLA MODEL 3! w/ Nathan Chan and Esther Hwang - Duration: 6:47.
Hello everybody!
My name is Nathan Chan, and I'm your co-host Esther Hwang.
And this is all the ways you can fit a cello inside a TESLA MODEL 3.
As all of you may know, being a cellist and traveling is quite difficult, because you
have to carry this thing around.
So, my concept for this video was to share with you all the ways I've discovered to fit
a cello in a car such as the Tesla Model 3.
Esther and I have come up with a very scientific rating system.
It relies on two different metrics.
One is the comfort of the human beings in the car and the other is the comfort level
of the cello in the car, and this will be ranked from 0 to 5.
Why is it important to have the comfort in this process?
The cello is a living, breathing thing; it's made out of very delicate materials like wood
and so making sure your cello is in a very comfortable and safe position while traveling
is extremely important.
Ok Nathan, what is the first position you're going to show us?
Let me show you how to fit a cello entirely in the Tesla Model 3 trunk.
Let's go!
LET'S GO!!
Ok Esther, so the secret to fitting a cello is to examine this right ridge over here.
So you take the head-
You run it alongside this ridge and you put it into this empty space above the left wheel.
And then you roll it in, like so! Ohhh...!
So you said put this head in the corner right over here, and you just... oh ok, I see.
It's like a puzzle piece.
You fit that in and voila!
That was actually quite easy!
Nice!
And now try closing the trunk.
Perfect, you got it.
Ok heheh.
So I would say this is a 5 comfort for humans, but I probably wouldn't drive with the cello
in the trunk like this, because...
Why?
If you get rear ended.
Yeah.
Your cello is a goner.
But, if you're just going in for some groceries.
Mhmm.
It's perfectly fine.
Yeah, looks pretty SEXY.
Yay!
OK now that we've done the trunk system, if we want to do a proper inside the car system,
don't you think we need another person in this experiment?
Absolutely.
I actually have a friend named Cameron that uh, is free right now.
Let's go pick him up.
OK!
Let's go!
Hey Cam!
Wanna go for a ride?
Yeah!
So the next position is if there were three people in the back seat and the cello was
lying on top of them.
Alright folks!
Cello's wet!
Time to get comfortable.
Ahh!
I've been in this position many times when chamber groups were in taxis.
For me, the cello is very wet.
It's on my bare legs.
I'd give it mmm like a 1.5.
Cam, what do you think?
So there's no weight on me but I am getting a lot of drips uhhh hehehe I'd say I'm about
a 3.
I'm getting the full brunt of this cello's A$$, so uh... for short trips it's definitely
doable but for long trips it could get a bit cramped.
Oh god, like a road trip can you imagine?
Yeah, I would give my position a 0.5.
Yeah that sounds about right.
Yeah.
But, it's doable!
Yeah, it's definitely doable.
So this next position is a really great compromise between comfort and practicality.
If you lay this particular seat down, you can do THIS.
That's great.
Ta-da!
Ahahaha... ok.
Get in.
This next method is my favorite method and my most often used method, and it's just simply
lying it in the back.
For else, we're pretty comfortable up front here.
Mhmm so front comfort level for humans...
5! Cello comfort, 5, cuz it's in the air-conditioning.
Oh yeah.
So this is the official position of The Bachelor.
You can ride along nice and comfortably and your cello is right along side you know exactly
where it is.
Comfort level is a 5 for both me and the cello.
HOW'RE YOU GUYS DOING?!
Oh god!!
Ahaha.
Hahahaha!
Hehehe haw haw haw.
So if you're really desperate, there is one other way you can use your Tesla Model 3 to
bring your cello to your destination.
You can tie it up to the back of your trunk!
Yeah!
We got this Naathaaannn...
Woo...!
So guys, we used a golf...
Don't try this at home! Yeah! Please don't.
Comfort level for us versus comfort level for the cello.
I'm scared to death, I think it's a 0 for both.
Yep I agree...!
For a cellist it might be really scary.
This is the last ditch effort.
0 comfort for humans, 0 for cello.
And 0 for the car!
Yeeheheh ho ho!!
OK, let's see what happens...
Well, there you have it folks.
That's all the ways you can put a cello inside a Tesla Model 3.
Are you sure that's ALL the ways Nathan?!
Well...
I mean if you wanna be super specific I guess you could just, you know, put it in the front
right over here, but hehe that's awfully silly Esther but I mean.
That's true, it's not like the cello drives itself!
Ay, that's true, that's true.
OK!
Now we've covered all the bases.
Ok ok.
But anyways, we just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for watching this video.
Please make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to both our channels!
My name is Nathan Chan.
My name's Esther Hwang!
You can find me on Twitter and Instagram @estherhwangviolin.
And we'll see ya in the next video.
Bye!!!
I think that was a good one.
That was a good take yeah.
What?!
No!!
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A Doctor Explains 3 Common Reasons Why You Might Be Waking Up In The Middle Of The Night - Duration: 5:07.
For more infomation >> A Doctor Explains 3 Common Reasons Why You Might Be Waking Up In The Middle Of The Night - Duration: 5:07. -------------------------------------------
Njomza - Me & You - Duration: 3:25.
For more infomation >> Njomza - Me & You - Duration: 3:25. -------------------------------------------
Sarfraz Ahmed Claims to Be Permanently Crippled Who is New Captain in World Cup 2019 - Duration: 2:30.
For more infomation >> Sarfraz Ahmed Claims to Be Permanently Crippled Who is New Captain in World Cup 2019 - Duration: 2:30. -------------------------------------------
Why You Don't Know What You Want - Duration: 4:22.
For more infomation >> Why You Don't Know What You Want - Duration: 4:22. -------------------------------------------
In The Bender Kitchen: Chef Toby Amidor helps you cook options that won't increase your end zone! - Duration: 4:09.
For more infomation >> In The Bender Kitchen: Chef Toby Amidor helps you cook options that won't increase your end zone! - Duration: 4:09. -------------------------------------------
All Twice rap compilation + Extras - Duration: 14:20.
Look at me and see me again
Pass by once and look back (TWICE)
Wherever I go, I go without makeup
And I still shine the most
Flat shoes can't hide my high value
Like Taecyeon said You're my ear's candy, how sweet
So sweet I want it constantly, like a kid
I keep leaning over to your ear And asking if it's true, you said "yes"
Today my dreams have become reality My heart is going crazy
No matter how many times I hear it, I love it In Korean or in English
Do you love me? Baby you know I feel the same way Now I can feel relieved
You won't regret it Choosing me
From now on my charms will make you go crazy
I'm a lady you can't refuse I'm a dream girl
Only you can make me feel this anxious
Your the reason my heart's been pounding
My whole body's tingling, just pair off with me
A pink electric current is wrapped around us
Come on try my love (Get ready)
How can I hold myself back? (Hey baby)
I'm not afraid now 1 2 3
I'm yours now
But I'm stumbling around Completely flustered
It's obvious I'm pretending To be cool
I look in the mirror and quickly fix my make up
Getting ready just in case I bump into you
I try to act like I don't care
But I like you so much, what do I do?
I try to be calm even if I'm shaking
I'm gonna confess to you
Baby I die for you
I'll try to take one deep breath
I'm gonna whisper in your ear
Baby I fight for you
Candy boy gotta have you, gotta love you, show me show me what you what you got.
It might be a childish thought I might regret it, but
Boy you're my first love (oh Don't you play with my head)
Hey, don't laugh at me like that Because I'm being serious
-------------------------------------------
Back with the Ex: Does it work? And where are they now? - Duration: 15:19.
have you ever thought about getting back with your ex I mean the ex not just any
ex but like the ex that if you sat down with your friends and said I'm thinking
about getting back with my ex you wouldn't even have to say their name
your friends would automatically know who it was and probably look at you like
you're out of your mind I mean I think most of us have at least had the thought
about getting back with an ex and in this episode I am confident that I am
going to be able to help you determine if it's a good idea or not I'm Thomas
and I'm a sex researcher in this episode I'm going to help you decide if you
should get back with your ex or not but before I do that I want you to go ahead
and click that subscribe button down there give this video a thumbs up and
then leave a comment when you're done watching I love to get feedback and I
would love to hear from you but now back to helping you figure out if you should
get back with your ex or not and well I'm going to use them it's a little bit
different than what I usually do I'm actually gonna use a reality TV show to
help you figure it out back with the ex is a reality show that just premiered on
Netflix in January but actually came out about six months ago in Australia and it
is a quite the roller coaster I'm going to tell you a little bit about each
couple and what their biggest strength is what their biggest weakness is how it
all ended up for them and then a little bit of a spoiler of where they are now I
did some research I did some Instagram stalking I'm not proud of it but I kind
of build into that rabbit hole but now I have a ton of information for you so to
start with I have to tell you the premise of this show it is a people for
couples are they broken up one of them has contacted the show to try to get the
other one to come on and see if they can still make it work so they're going to
spend three weeks together they have an initial first date and they spend one
week at one of their homes the other week have the other ones home and they
go on vacation together for a week and then at the end it decide if they
actually want to give it another shot or not so beginning with the worst meg
and Jeremy this is the couple that always fights all the time they could be
having a great time and then two seconds later they're fighting
you don't even know what they're fighting about and it's unclear if they
know what they're fighting about so the lowdown is they met when they were very
young I believe 14 and 17 this is from information I found on the internet so
there could be a little bit difference there I don't know if that's legal or
not in Australia but we're just gonna roll with it anyway they were off and on
for seven years at one point he leaves and goes away to travel she's devastated
doesn't date anyone for a year then he comes back they started dating then he
leaves again so it's just a lot of back and forth and now it's three years later
and he has decided that he wants to make it work with her again so their first
date he shows up at the restaurant and she just loses her mind right away she
can't be there's just too much anxiety she starts crying she runs away
this becomes a theme throughout any argument they have so this is the couple
that fights all the time but they like love fighting that is their biggest
weakness is that they simply can't get along now their biggest strength as a
couple is their commitment they are committed to being in this relationship
even though they are both miserable all the time all the time there's one
episode where his friends are there and she comes out and he's just told his
friends that he's gonna try to make it work with her again and his friends are
pissed so that is a big red flag if you were thinking about getting back with an
ex and none of your friends think it's a good idea it's probably not a good idea
so their story ends with them going to Africa having a great time going to this
beautiful dinner and then fighting at dinner because they can't forgive each
other for how they've hurt each other in the past not only can they not forgive
each other they can't even admit what they've done they never take
responsibility for their actions so they have this beautiful dinner outside under
the stars she ends up getting upset and leaving and he had just shaved his head
because he wanted to impress her this is kind of a theme throughout the show a
little bit of people trying to change themselves for the other person which
we'll get into that also another red flag and then they meet
back the next day to decide if they're going to make it work or not this is the
weirdest scene ever they sit next to each other talk about how much they like
each other and how much they want to be together whether they both a know that
they make each other miserable and then they end up hugging and saying that
they're going to make it work I I don't know what what they were thinking so I
did do some sleuthing online and it looks like they broke up shortly after I
think the biggest takeaway from this couple do not try to make it work with
someone you don't get along with the second worst couple is Lauren and Eric
so Lauren and Erik work together for six years they also broke up six times
within that period and they only had sex six times the entire time they were
together now I'm not a religious man but that is three sixes right in a row and
that is a sign they are not good but it is not her fault Lauren seems great she
seems caring she has her life together she has confidence she believes in
herself I don't think it was always this way and she definitely says that it
wasn't and Eric is a narcissist all Eric cares about is himself
one year for her birthday he gave her a birthday card with ten thousand dollars
and he told her that she could either pay off her student loans or get a boob
job and he was serious he wanted her to get a boob job even though she didn't
want to get one additionally during their relationship he told her that she
needed to cut her hair or he was going to break up with her so she cut her hair
again back to changing appearance to try to get someone to like you more or to
care about you more now this couple resonates with me a lot in that respect
because I've dated someone in the past the person who I would consider to be
the ex and that person tried to get me to change a lot of things about myself
and it's very painful and I did change a lot of things about myself to try to
make that person happy so I'm a little bit biased because I really connected
with Lauren their biggest weakness is Eric he's a narcissist and if you are
not a narcissist you can't date a narcissist you will never
be happy and you will never be enough for them and they will constantly make
you feel like shit what is their biggest strength I have no idea I saw zero
strengths with this couple whatsoever their story wraps up with them going on
vacation to New York City so they meet on a bridge he asks her if they can make
it work and she just says no I was like thank God I was so glad that she was
like no I'm not doing this I have too much respect for myself and they kind of
just go their separate ways and this really made me like her so much more so
of course I did some more research and it looks like she is currently dating
someone else and pretty happy with the photos that they post on her Instagram
the big takeaway from this couple is that if anyone asks you to change
anything about yourself or threatens that if you don't change it about
yourself they're going to break up with you believe them that is a red flag and
that is not something that is going to change we're now gonna shift to the
couples that seem to have it together a little bit more and that first one is
Kate and cam so Kay and cam met in high school they were together for three
years and then someone cheated the trust was broken and well they broke up the
show does a really good job ad setting it up so that it seems like he cheated
but it was her that cheated and you find it out pretty quickly but I was very
surprised by this just in how the setup was she calls the show she wants to give
it another shot so cam shows up their personalities are very different but
they get along really well she's a little bit more rigid he's very goofy
but they kind of poke fun at each other and they laugh a lot
and they just have instant chemistry watching them interact together makes me
smile their biggest strength is literally how well they get along they
seem like they're really good friends almost from the beginning at one point
in the show all of the women that are in the couples go to dinner and meet each
other and one of the other women looks at Kate and says you cheated on him
before clearly something was missing why do you want to try to make it work how
do you know that thing isn't still missing that wasn't
there before and Kay doesn't have an answer I thought that was really
interesting because you were seeing it from the perspective of the person who
did the cheating and I think that has a good question you know if you cheated
why would you want to try again if you made a mistake have you guys worked on
whatever it was that led you in that direction now of course their biggest
issue is trust there are multiple times throughout the show where she says I
need him to trust me I need him to trust me I need him to trust me
and she kind of wants it all to happen right now when she just wants to be in
control they haven't moved past it yet and that's something that if they were
to stay together who's gonna take some work and was gonna take some time and
I'm not sure if she has the patience for that because she really wants to be able
to move on now they go on vacation together I believe somewhere in Canada
it was the most boring location of all of them they could have gone not the
Canada's boring but they just went and like played in the snow which is
actually kind of cute for them I guess so they meet up and they decide that
they're gonna make it work they want to be together and they want to try so I
did some more research it's not always happy ever after it looks like they
moved in together they tried and then they broke up now on Kate's Instagram it
looks like she's dating someone new and cam comments and makes jokes and
everything seems fine the biggest takeaway from this couple is that being
friends and getting along isn't always enough and I think that if you have had
a rupture in the trust in your relationship you really need to go and
get therapy and try to work through it together the last couple the coupled it
from the beginning you think has the biggest shots Diane and Peter Diane and
Peter are in their 50s and they met when they were in their 20s they have not
seen each other for 28 years when they originally met she was living in Florida
he was living in Australia they dated for two years and just couldn't make the
long-distance work in that period of time they both got married they had kids
and they both got of first and now they're seeing each other
for the first time and the moment they see each other you just see the
fireworks again they're so excited they're instantly happy but Diane might
be one of my favorite people in the entire world she is like this very seems
earthy spirited person who is just positive all the time but has a lot of
beliefs about herself and what she wants out of life and isn't willing to
sacrifice any of that and Peter seems extremely easygoing and happy and
passionate and you you just think like okay this is like the throwaway couple
this is the couple that is going to figure it out and the magical couple
that's going to rekindle what they had in the past and everything's going to be
perfect they go skinny-dipping together they go hiking they go grocery shopping
he cries in almost every episode and it makes me wonder like what other
emotional damage is there what else is going on with this guy and I'm not
saying that there's anything wrong with crying I cry you probably cry but every
single episode I mean maybe he is just super sensitive but I'm guessing that
there's something else going on there their biggest strength is their
communication they tell each other what they're thinking what they're feeling
why they're feeling that way and they work on it they apologize if they've
hurt each other and then they move forward they have a better communication
than any other couple on the show and probably 90% of the couples that I've
seen in therapy however their biggest weakness is the distance she lives in
North Carolina he lives in Australia in the last episode for their vacation they
go to Paris because of course they do Paris way I believe was actually where
they met so it all kind of comes back full circle which is adorable now Peter
decides that he is going to propose to Diane in front of the Eiffel Tower and
she says yes so the show ends with them being engaged now from what I was able
to find online that may not have lasted for very long there was
an Australian magazine that printed that shortly after filming ended they broke
up and I think the big takeaway with this couple is maybe sometimes it's okay
to leave the past in the past Peter seemed to really have his heart
set on that she was going to be the one at one point even says that throughout
his 20-year marriage he thought of her every single day which is also a sign
that there might be some other things going on there that are more than just
this romantic love that's the four couples the young love the passionate
fighters the narcissist and the resurgent couple the big takeaway of the
entire show is that people don't change sorry they just don't the vast majority
of the time the person you originally dated is going to be the same person
that you date later there's probably a reason that you broke up and if you
decide to get back together you might just end up repeating that pattern again
so you need to think long and hard about is it worth it that's my little spiel on
and getting back with your ex I don't recommend it but I have seen it work and
in fact one of my very good friends has been back with their ex for well over
ten years and they are very happy so things do happen and it is possible back
with the exes streaming now on netflix so I hope that you will go and find it
it's actually a great show I know I gave away a lot now but it's actually pretty
good and you can learn a lot from it and like I said it's not a bunch of fake
drama it's actually kind of quality TV so I highly recommend it
I'll see you next time
thanks for watching I've got a lot of content in production and I don't want
you to miss out so go ahead and click that subscribe button and in the
meantime check out one of these other videos then don't forget to send me your
questions about sex to ThomasTalksAbout@gmail.com
-------------------------------------------
WP487576 - Replacing Your Maytag Fridge's Bottom Hinge Washer AP6009538 PS11742705 - Duration: 3:03.
hi my name is Bill and today I'm going to be showing you how to replace the
washer on the bottom hinge of your fridge door the reason why it might have
to do this because the washer is worn out broken damaged or missing and your
doors and closing properly for this repair we'll be using a 5/16 inch nut
driver warning before doing any repairs please disconnect your power source so
this is the fridge we're gonna be using for our demonstration here it's a maytag
keep in mind yours might be a little bit different at home than what we have here
but the same techniques should still apply so right down here we have our
bottom hinge washer it's in order to get that off what I'm gonna do is I want to
put a block of wood underneath the door here first and that'll just hold the
door up in place and now I'll use my 5/16 inch nut driver and I'll remove
these groups down here now as you remove the second screw keep in mind that the
door isn't being supported by anything but your wood so make sure you don't
bump into that wood and knock the door down now we take the old washer off just
clip it upside down and should come right out now you can grab your new OEM
replacement washer if you don't have one already you can find it on our online
store so now we can put the washer back onto the hinge right there just like
that now I'll line up our bottom hinge with
the bottom hole in the door there put that in there and then we'll turn it and
we'll line up our screw holes turn it and we'll lift up on the door if we need
to we'll line up our screw holes and screw it back in
and then we can just test our doors out and make sure they open and close nice
and smooth and after you've done that your repair is complete
finally don't forget to plug in your appliance if you need to replace any
parts for your appliances you can find an OEM replacement part on our website
pcappliancerepair.com thanks for watching and please don't forget to like
comment and share our video also don't forget to subscribe to our channel your
support helps us make more videos just like these for you to watch for free
-------------------------------------------
UC Davis Disability Office Overview - Duration: 5:18.
Patrick Dwyer: I'm Patrick Dwyer and I am an autistic graduate student at UC Davis. I do some
autism research here myself. I also facilitate a peer support group
for our autistic students. And right now I am outside the Student Disability
Center at UC Davis. Now all of colleges should have a campus
disability office. This is principally responsible for
coordinating academic accommodations for disability, assistive technology, exam
accommodations, extra time on tests, note-taking, you know all these sorts of things.
It is very much on us to initiate contact with the Student Disability Center if
that is indeed the path that we think is right for us. And on that question of
self-determination, we're about to go in and meet Dr. Joe Spector who is very
much a believer in the importance of the topic of self-determination.
If we're imagining
that, you know, we're a student who was thinking about college and thinking they might want to register
with the Student Disability Center how do they go about doing that?
Joe Spector: Well as you
know I'm a big believer in self-determination which involves
starting out early and navigating through life supporting some of your own efforts.
So, I believe a lot of it starts in high school and at that point the students
are developing skills in advocacy, skills in requesting accommodations,
and developing good patterns for school. I strongly recommend the students take
the lead in that process. So, part of the transition to college involves high school
time because at that point not only are you working through that high school process, but hopefully you're
developing the kinds of documentation that will help you succeed in accessing
services like at a Student Disability Center at the post-secondary level.
Patrick Dwyer: Right.
Joe Spector: So one of the first things I recommend is that the students have up-to-date
documentation, or evaluations, or reports, so that if they choose to come to a
Student Disability Center they have the documentation part ready to go.
Patrick Dwyer: And if somebody is not sure if their documentation is appropriate can
they just approach Student Disability Center and ask?
Joe Spector: I recommend that. On this
particular campus we might call that an inquiry meeting. An inquiry meeting can occur
during high school. In fact, I strongly encourage that, they're really pleasant meetings
that gives the student a chance to speak for themself and to get to know what an office
a disability office is like. But it can also occur the summer before school starts
or even during the course of school.
Patrick Dwyer: What happens once people are are registered
and they're looking to access accommodations?
Can you say anything briefly about that or?
Joe Spector: Students need to interact with the instructors about
where the accommodations will be provided, what time the test will occur,
if there's extra time, how to manage that. Many campuses such as ours don't
have a large developed test center, so the instructor has to work out where the
test will occur. So that connection between the instructor and the student is
especially important. Because for each test there may be a different time and a different location.
Patrick Dwyer: Right, right.
And I'll just take a quick moment to mention that Stairway to STEM STEM website
does have a lot of resources being developed about how to communicate with
instructors so those definitely would be a thing to check out. And then one last
question because, you know, I know a lot of students are more reluctant to
seek out formal accommodations for various different reasons and I'm
wondering if you have any thoughts to people who, you know, that maybe they are not
wanting to disclose their disability, or they don't feel they need accommodations, or
feel guilty about the idea of accommodations.
Joe Spector: One thing I've learned in the
several decades that I've been working with students with the diagnosis of
autism is to respect some of their own beliefs and some of their own
perceptions. There will be those students who generally don't do believe that they
need academic accommodations and in fact some of them probably don't.
So, I've learned to respect that that choice of
when it's time to get the help and when it's not time to get the help. However, reluctance
about coming here shouldn't involve a sense of shame, or stigma, or
embarrassment. At the point that that's going on I think it it helps to reach
out to your friends, your parents, people like you, to help coach them towards
coming to a disability center at least beginning the discussion. And for the
most part the disability centers are very user friendly.
Patrick Dwyer: Thank you for watching
this video I hope that it provided useful and helpful information. And
please do comment if you have any thoughts, reflections, if you have your
own experiences that are relevant, any feedback, whatever it is we do want to hear it
so please do add those comments.
-------------------------------------------
Gul Panra becomes official brand ambassador for Peshawar Zalmi | PSL 2019 Adition 4 - Duration: 1:23.
Gul Panra becomes official brand ambassador for Peshawar Zalmi
-------------------------------------------
What Is A Narcissistic Relationship? | Harnessing Life - Duration: 13:03.
Hi! I'm Heidi Lynn.
Welcome to Harnessing Life.
Are you in a narcissistic relationship?
Well, today in this video I'm going to help you understand: what a narcissistic relationship
looks like.
In fact today, we're going to talk about 10 red flags to help you understand if your relationship
and what you are experiencing is a narcissistic one.
Stick around till the end of this video so you can grab my free guide on what is a narcissistic
relationship.
Before we get started, please click the bell icon so you can get notified when I upload
new videos every Monday.
So, what is a narcissistic relationship? Well, it looks like: lies, bullying, betrayal, deceit,
love bombing, arrogance, gaslighting, projection, ghosting, and they even put on smear campaigns.
And I'm going to go over every single one of those so that you understand what they
mean.
Red flag #1 is lies.
With narcissists they'll lie about anything.
They'll lie because whatever is convenient for them they want.
So if it means to lie about something else? they'll do it.
They won't even question it, and they'll feel very little remorse.
IF it hurts somebody in their family, maybe they'll feel a little guilty, but they don't
really care.
Because they don't see the future, they don't look at consequences.
All they see is right here right now and "I need this lie to get me through whatever I
want to get to", so they'll do it.
Red flag #2: betrayal.
Very similar to lies, however narcissists don't really care if they have to hurt somebody
in order to get what they want.
If you're in a relationship and you are feeling hurt because of something that your narcissist
lied to you about, or did, or said they did, or said they didn't do, or any of the above,
or all of the above, they're not there with you for your welfare.
They're only there for their own welfare.
Red flag #3 is bullying.
Narcissists bully and are experts at it.
They will bully emotionally, they'll bully mentally, and they'll bully physically sometimes.
Depending on what type of narcissist you are with, sometimes your life may be at risk,
and your safety may be at risk, if you have children their safety may be at risk.
So this is definitely something to take into consideration when thinking about whether
or not you're in a narcissistic relationship, even if you don't think it's narcissistic,
if you are not safe you need to contact the appropriate authorities in order to establish
your safety first.
Red flag # 4 is deceit.
I decided to talk about deceit as separate from lies.
Yes, lies play a factor in deceit, but deceit is not just lies, because you can be telling
half truths, or telling something that's true, but telling it in a way that is......deceitful.
Telling it in a way that makes you think that they're right.
But they're not.
They're just trying to manipulate you, and bully you.
And they're really good at it.
Red flag # 5 is love bombing.
This is a term that's thrown around in the narcissistic relationship community that means
that they will shower you with love.
They will be perfect for you.
They will be everything you want them to be.
They will show up on time, and they'll give you gifts, and they will "think of you often"
through texts, for...sometimes a very long time.
Some of these relationships, that love bombing phase can go anywhere from a week to a year.
But they do it just to get you on their little hook and then they string you along to break
your heart even more.
It's a terrible malicious thing, but they do it, and they're good at it.
Don't fall for it!
It's not worth your time and it's NOT worth your emotional energy.
Red flag #6 is arrogance.
MAN, are they arrogant!
They think that they are right, and they can do whatever they want, and whatever they please,
they're entitled, and the world owes them anything and everything they want.
As if to say "The world needs me, and so I'm special, and I deserve special treatment.
I get whatever I want."
Of course they're wrong, but they'll never believe it.
It's just arrogance.
Red flag #7 is gaslighting.
What that means is that they will kind of twist your reality and make you question or
second guess what you are thinking, and they'll make you think that YOU are the one that's
at fault, and that YOU are the one that's crazy, and that you are the one that's the
problem.
When really it IS them, but they're so good at this that they convince you, and everyone
else, your friends, your family, anyone that they have contact for, and sometimes even
your own children, they will convince everyone you know that you're the problem.
But the most important one to convince is you.
When you start questioning your own reality is when they have more power in your relationship.
Red flag #8 is projection.
Now what this means is that whatever negative thing that they're doing they're going to
project it onto you, so as if you are the problem.
So let's say they lied to you about something, and you caught them in their lie, and you
say "um...you lied to me about this" and they will say "no I didn't, you lied to ME".
You obviously know you didn't lie to them, you know that they lied to you but they are
so convincing that sometimes you start to question yourself, question your reality,
question what really happened, they will project, anything that happens to them they will project
it onto you.
And then they'll tell your friends that you did it, or your family that you did it.
They want to go steal money?
They'll tell your friends and family that YOU'RE the one that stole it.
They called the cops on you for a bogus reason?
They'll tell your friends and family that you did that.
That's projection.
Red flag #9 is ghosting.
Now ghosting is where they give you the silent treatment.
So you picked on them, or you caught them in a lie, or you called them out on something
nasty they did, they don't like that!
What are they gonna do?
Break off all communication.
As if that's helpful!
But of course they're not helpful human beings, so what can we expect.
Don't fall for their tactics of ghosting you!
You know what, you're better off without them anyways, frankly.
And red flag #10 is smear campaign.
You don't even have to do anything, you don't even have to say anything, and they're gonna
spread nasty gossip and lies and rumors about you just to cover their butt.
Because they're constantly doing nasty things so with all this deceit, and these lies, and
projection, and gaslighting, and ghosting, you're not gonna really understand what's
going on in your reality.
So the best option is to not get in it in the first place.
If you're in the very beginning and you notice these red flags in your relationship, don't
even let it go any further.
Leave, no contact, block 'em, and move on with your life.
Because you don't deserve all the emotional trauma that they're gonna put you through.
They don't change, and it's not gonna get any better.
You get what you see.
You see these red flags, they're gonna continue.
It doesn't get better.
Don't hope that your situation is the one out of a million that is the good one.
It's not gonna happen.
So find someone who actually appreciates you for being you.
Find someone who can love you, because a narcissist is not going to be able to.
They love themselves too much to be able to have room to love you.
Now that is what narcissists do, that's what it looks like.
When you have a relationship with them, that's what it's gonna look like.
Now, what it feels like on your end, it could feel like lots of things, but just some examples,
it could feel like being stabbed in the back, of course it could feel like being betrayed
by someone close to you because that's exactly what's happening, they're betraying you.
You might have a lack of ability to trust other people, because when you're being constantly
let down by a narcissist it's really hard to trust other people again.
You may experience a los off self-esteem, or self confidence, you might have extreme
self-doubt, when you're making decisions and just not sure what to do; they have put
you down so much that you are starting to second guess yourself.
Your confidence is low, your self-esteem is low.
And as a result, most likely you'll have a negative self-image as well.
It's really hard to love yourself on the outside if you're having a really hard time loving
yourself on the inside, because the narcissist beats you down so much emotionally and mentally.
You also may experience confusion for what is reality, are you really feeling the way
you're feeling?
Or is what the narcissist saying what you're feeling is really what you're feeling?
Does that make sense?
It's kinda confusing.
Because THEY are confusing!
They twist the world around and it's NOT COOL!
You'll probably feel anxiety for the future, maybe fear, and stress.
Maybe you'll even feel like you're spinning out of control, that your life is spinning
out of control, your future is spinning out of control.
Depending on your situation you can feel any or all of these, and it is NOT a healthy relationship.
If you want you life to be happy, you need a healthy relationship, and a narcissist is
not gonna provide that.
So, what can you do about it?
That's really the big question, right?
Everyone wants to know that.
So, let's talk about it.
There's only one thing that you need to remember, and that is that YOU CONTROL YOU.
You can't control anybody else out there, you can't even control someone who isn't a
narcissist, so don't try to control the narcissist because it's totally gonna backfire.
They'll control you, or try to control you any and every day that you are together.
So, you control you, your choices, your actions, your reactions, your thoughts, all of those
you have control over.
So if you really want to have love, have trust, happiness, peace, you want those in your life?
Then you need to make choices that will lead towards those things.
Staying with a narcissist with the hope that they're gonna change will not lead you there
period.
Don't think that you're the special one, because...not to say that you're not special, but your relationship
with the narcissist most likely is not gonna get anywhere.
They're not gonna change, they're not gonna have a desire to all of a sudden love you
because really they most likely never did, and that has nothing to do with you.
You could be a totally awesome person, in fact you probably are totally awesome, and
the narcissist will beat you down and drag you down because they can't stand it when
they feel like people are better than them because they want to be better than everyone
around them.
So, if you're with a narcissist and you're wondering if you should get out?
Or if you are leaving your narcissist, remember that three things are paramount!
These last three points that I want to make, I know I've made a lot of points in this video,
but these last three points are paramount.
These are your top personal strengths, are you ready?
They are: respect for yourself, accept the things you can't control, and have patience
with yourself.
If you can master those three things, maybe you don't even have to master them, if you
can do those three things sixty percent of the time you're a LOT better off than you
are right now, you will be a lot better off than you are right now.
I hope you liked this video, and I hope you found value in it, and share this video with
your family and friends.
Thank you for watching!
And until next time, bye.
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Can you solve the vampire hunter riddle? - Dan Finkel - Duration: 3:52.
The greatest challenge a vampire hunter can take on
is to bring sunlight into a vampire's lair.
You've stealthily descended into the darkness of a vampire cave,
setting a sequence of mirrors as you go.
When the sun reaches the right angle in the sky,
a focused beam of light will ricochet along the mirrors,
strike your diffuser,
and illuminate the great chamber where the vampires sleep.
You set the final mirror
and sneak through an opening in the corner of the great chamber.
The diffuser must be wall-mounted,
but the walls are crowded with coffins,
which you don't dare disturb.
The only open spots are in the other three corners of the room.
The light will enter through the southwest corner at a 45 degree angle
and bounce off the perfectly smooth metallic walls
until it hits one of the other three corners.
But which corner will it hit?
You know the room is a rectangle 49 meters wide and 78 meters long.
You could probably find the answer
by drawing a scale model of the room and tracing the path of the light,
but the sun will be in its place in just minutes,
and you've got no time to spare.
Fortunately, there's a different way to solve this puzzle
that's both simple and elegant.
So in which corner should you place the diffuser
to flood the vampire lair with sunlight?
Pause the video if you want to figure it out for yourself.
Answer in 2
Answer in 1
You could tackle this problem by examining smaller rooms,
and you'd find a lot of interesting patterns.
But there's one insight that can unravel this riddle in almost no time at all.
Let's draw the chamber on a coordinate grid,
with the Southwest corner at the point (0,0).
The light passes through grid points
with coordinates that are either both even or both odd.
This is true even after it bounces off one or more walls.
Another way of thinking about it is this:
since the light travels at a 45 degree angle,
it always crosses the diagonal of a unit square.
Traveling 1 meter horizontally changes the x coordinate
from even to odd or vice versa.
Traveling 1 meter vertically changes the y coordinate
from even to odd or vice versa.
Traveling diagonally – as the light does here – does both at once,
so the x and y coordinates of any points the light passes through
must be both even, or both odd.
This observation is more powerful than it seems.
In particular, it means that we have a way to identify the kinds of points
the light won't ever go through
If one of the coordinates is even and the other is odd,
the light will miss them.
That means it'll miss the top two corners of the room,
since those points have one even and one odd coordinate.
The Southeast corner is the only option for the diffuser.
And indeed, when that precious beam of sunlight enters the hall,
it bounces between the walls
and strikes the Southeast corner, spot on.
The vampires, sensing the intrusion,
burst from their coffins and turn to dust in the light.
It was a "high stakes" test,
and you passed with flying colors.
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Absolutely Beautiful Interview with Tiny House Nation Couple Tim & Shannon's Minim Tiny House - Duration: 6:14.
Absolutely Beautiful Interview with Tiny House Nation Couple Tim & Shannon's Minim Tiny House
-------------------------------------------
WPW10316267 - Replacing Your Whirlpool Dishwasher's Float Switch Housing AP6019344 PS11752650 - Duration: 4:08.
hi my name is Bill and today I'm gonna be showing you how to replace the float
switch housing in your dishwasher the reason why you might have to do this is
because it's worn or damaged causing the float have to be able to actuate the
float switch for this repair we'll be using a quarter-inch nut driver warning
before doing any repairs please disconnect your power source so this is
the dishwasher we're going to be using for this demonstration it's a whirlpool
now keep in mind yours at home might be a little bit different than what we have
here but the same technique should still apply also keep in mind you don't have a
countertop for this so we're actually using some weights to keep it weighted
down so it doesn't tip over on us so you might want to consider that when you're
at home and if you have to take out your dishwasher make sure that you're not
doing anything to tip it over and make it fall and you want you're doing a
repair as well and we're gonna have to go down to the float switch housing down
here at the bottom of the dishwasher here so right here inside of our float
switch housing we're gonna have to open this up and you just pinch each of these
tabs and now you can open the door up
and inside of our float switch housing we've got our float switch our float
that sticks down right here as well as the float switch actuator right here
through the closed switch lever as well as the float switch lever right here so
we're gonna have to take all those parts out in order to replace the housing and
for the switch we just have to unplug it so you've got a tab over on this side
then pull the wires and then pull switch out
stop straight up and now our float you just have to move off to the side and
just give that a push up and that'll be out of our way now we just have to
remove this screw and I'll be using a quarter-inch nut driver and we'll take
that out as well now you can grab your new OEM replacement float switch housing
if you don't have one already you can find it on our online store so now we'll
open up our new housing so now we'll put our housing in it so now we'll put our
housing into place and we're just gonna line up the screw hole there and if you
got it lined up you can screw it on and now we'll put our switch back into place
and just line that up right here and push it down and then we'll plug the
switch in and then what you can do for the float is if it's gotten pushed up
and you can't reach it you can just open up the front door and push the float
down from the inside so we'll just push the float down and that'll pop back into
place like that and that will put the float switch lever
into place just like that and close up the housing and your repair is complete
finally don't forget to plug in your appliance if you need to replace any
parts for your appliances you can find an OEM replacement part on our website
pcappliancerepair.com thanks for watching and please don't forget to like
comment and share our video also don't forget to subscribe to our channel your
support helps us make more videos just like these for you to watch for free
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