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Hi everybody. And if you've been wondering
what the heck you're supposed to be
doing in this life, or you're frustrated
on your life's calling, your purpose...my
hope is this clip may help. You know
there's not a week that goes by that I
don't have clients asking me how to find
their purpose, how to know that they're
on track. There's a feeling of that they
may have missed the memo...
because everyone wants to get it right.
There's a sense that we have one life and
we want to make it work, and
underneath all that I think most
everyone has a sense that they'd like to
have a life of some sort of significance
in contributing to the world. And
it can be really frustrating because people
feel like they've gotta get it right,
they've got to find their calling. So
this is something I just want to share
with you. There are two pieces to this
that I think get blended together, and
add to people's confusion. The first is
it's understanding the difference
between your "essence" and what I call the
"wrapper" or the "container". So the essence
is, you know everyone goes nuts that with
that phrase of who you are, but it
basically is your spirit, what lights you
up, what makes you special on this
planet, what's unique to you, what you
love to do. And then the container is
just what you pour it into in the moment.
So the container is really more the job,
the application, the career of the moment.
And you know you can pour your essence
into a zillion different containers, but
when people don't know the difference
between these two, they think that their
calling is a container. That's when you
have folks going wow you know I tried a
little bit of this and then I thought it
would be a dental hygienist, and then I
thought maybe I would be an astrologer,
and then I thought maybe I would go back
to school and get an MBA, but that wasn't
right either, and then I thought I should
be a lawyer...all these different paths
are merely different containers. And
sometimes when you don't have a strong
sense of your essence, trying to
containers can be useful although it can
be very frustrating, right? It's a little
bit of a hit-or-miss. However, the grace
in trying different containers is that
you learn a whole lot about yourself with each
different experience. There's no right or
wrong. You learn a lot about yourself
through these containers that we all go
through in this thing called life. So
don't worry, you don't miss the memo. But
if you're feeling frustrated, that might
be because what you're really trying to
get towards is a sense of your essence,
which is never something that you can
define by a job description. It's
whenever you're naturally drawn to what
you enjoy, what lights you up, so you know
for example, my essence I discovered
after many years, is I actually really
enjoy listening to how people really
feel about their lives and what's
happening. It just happens naturally. I
join it. I love being part of that
exchange. So no matter what I end up
doing, it is something that I sort of
take with me. And some containers allow
me to do more than others.
So if I end up with a container where I don't get to
do as much of it as I'd like, or not in
the depth that I fully enjoyed, I'm
looking for a different container. But
that quality is going to follow me
around whether I become a veterinarian assistant,
a professor working with
students, a nurse working with patients,
that I enjoy listening to people. It's
just part of who I am I guess. It's part
of my essence. So that is the essence is
your gift to the world. The first thing
is to know that you are the gift. You
don't have to go finding it. It's
just you're born with it.
Everyone has gifts. So I sometimes
think that the first part of getting to
know who you are is to find out what
your gifts are. And we find out through
things that we like in things we don't
like. So with every container that you
don't enjoy you find out
more about what you do like. So that's a
good thing. But if you're getting
frustrated that you can't seem to find a
container, that's ok.
If you're getting frustrated that you
think that your calling is a container,
that your job is to get it right, to find
out amidst the hundreds of potential of
positions that are possible in life...the
one that God meant for you...and you
better get it right or your little life
is a waste...ease up on yourself. It's
not quite like that.
Anything that lights you up, and there's
also a thing called growth, meaning there
was a time where I thought being for
example, I thought being, what was I'm
doing at the time, I was an analyst in a
bank, I had no idea what I wanted to do.
And I thought having a job was pretty
good. And there were parts of it that I liked,
and there were parts that I wasn't wild about.
But that was a perfect container for me at
the time, for the time. And then I outgrew
it. Just like coming out of the cocoon,
there's another level, and another level.
So you're trying to strike a hole-in-one,
behind your computer, completely
immobilized, because you feel like you've
got to get perfectly right? Oh that's a
lot of pressure. Consider that there
might be a few detours, and that you
can't do this thing wrong in life.
Everything is a learning process. You're
not going to lose your essence no matter
what container you pour yourself into.
And I am of the opinion that it
is much better to engage with the fabric
of life and try a container, then to do
nothing and be kind of, you know, trying
to make up something in your mind,
because life comes through the
engagement, through the experience! And
it's much harder to make progress when
you're not actually doing anything,
trying to get it right, versus just try
something. No matter what you try you're
going to learn something about your
essence. Things that you like, things that
you never want to do again, and that will
be like tangential to the next thing.
It's very hard for people for people to
find what they want to do
when they're not doing anything!! It
requires an engagement of life to find
more of yourself. OK? So your essence,
it's already here, you don't have to go
worrying about whether it can be lost,
you don't have to improve on it, it's
just a quality. It could be a sense of
humor. It could be a thoughtfulness. It
could be a curiosity. It could be a
delight in organizing. It could be
someone who is very good with the spoken
word, you enjoy telling stories. Whatever
it is you it's already here. And the
container, or the job, or for some of you
it might not even be a job, it might just
be an activity that you enjoy doing,
maybe you don't need the work or you
don't want to work anymore, but you want
to contribute in some way. We're meant to
contribute in some way, whether or not it
pays a lot is is not really the main
issue sometimes, it's just I want to be
engaged with life. OK? So and again
anything we're doing there's always the
growth edge, what seemed groovy to you
at one time is going to change because
everything in life changes as you do. So
don't worry about trying to get a
hole-in-one the first time out. That's
way too much pressure. Chase just the
immediate next breadcrumb and always
remember the container is not the
essence! So give yourself a break if you
don't know if you should be a
nail technician or a PhD in
astrophysics, or whatever it is. God is
not trying to get you to define your job
description, as much as pursue the next
thing that calls out to you, that says
"yeah that'd be cool to try". OK? So I hope
this is useful, and then until next time
rock it out! Thanks. Adele Wang, SafeHavenHealing.net
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