Hi everyone, I'm really sorry about the
low light, but it's like 4pm and it's
getting dark here already so I'm sorry about that.
I did film this video already
but it was out of focus because I'm a #amateuryoutuber
even though I've been doing this for
for over a year I still don't really know
what I'm doing- I'm sorry about that.
So I really want to have a chat today
about toxic friendships and cutting
people out of your life. So I /Hears a noise and panics/ What was that noise?
I just filmed a video today where I went through
some old facebook messages from my old
facebook accounts which was really fun
until I got to some facebook messages from
from someone who used to be a part of my
life who is no longer part of my life.
It made me really really sad
reflecting back on when this person was a
part of my life and how they treated me,
myself and this person have kind of come to a closure
now; we don't talk anymore we
haven't talked for a really long time, I
don't think we'll ever talk again we're
both on our different paths in life and
I genuinely wish them all the best for
the future, I really hope everything goes
well for them. So, you know, there's no bad
blood between us now but um yeah there was a lot of
bad blood between us a couple of years
ago so I want to talk about it. So me and
this person were best friends,
They were my best friend ever, I
had never been as close to anyone as I
had been to them, you know I was
convinced I would never be this close to
anybody else again- this was my best
friend ever,
I would never have a friend better than
them. We we became friends when we were about 11
and they did get very very violent towards me
and did use a lot of physical
violence against me, I still have marks
all over my body from where they would
hit me and punch me and dig their nails
into me and I thought that was just normal
for friends, you know, I thought that was
just what friends did but only kind of
looking back on it when I was a couple
of years older I realized that is not
normal at all that is not normal
behavior for a friend so this person would
constantly remind me of every single
flaw i had and along with that remind
me that i was lucky to have them
annoying with the main one the main
thing was that I was very very annoying
and it was a burden for them to
be around me and though a lot of times
they would tell me they were only hanging
out with me because they felt sorry for
me you know it was this constant like I
remember there was this girl in our
school who was really really horrible to
me and she threatened to punch me once
and my friend was like "Oh I'll stick up for you"
and then when I reading back at my facebook messages
for this filmed, I saw this message for them
that said "you're really really annoying
blah blah blah i don't even like you
that much you better be nice to me and
keep me happy so I'll defend you from
this girl if she tries anything with you"
like they literally said keep me happy
that's an actual quote also they were
very controlling of everybody else I
hung out with if there was a sign that I was
making a new friend or starting to hang out
with different people they would get
very very possessive and they would tell
me that they didn't like them and it
felt like I was replacing them that
would make me feel very guilty you know
it was very like "it feels like you're
trying to replace me? are you trying to
replace me? I feel like you're trying to
replace me, why are you trying to do that?
why are you trying to make me feel this way?"
and I wasn't but every single time they
just jumped on me like that
meanwhile they have a million and one
other friends and every single time I
started to make another friend they
would tell me not hang out with them
anymore because they didn't like them it
felt like I was replacing them and then
just go off and hang out with other
friends so i have no other friends
almost completely isolated I didn't
really have any other friends, and bearing in mind this was in school
so I had still a couple of friends outside of
school but I didn't really have any
other friends in school and then they
would just go off and hang out with
other friends who didn't like me either
all of their other friends would always
make fun of me
say really horrible things about me
Once one of their friends threatened to punch me as well
I don't know what it is about me
and making people threaten to punch me
yeah one of their friends threaten to punch me
and they just laughed and I mean I remember this
really clearly that really really
upset me and it really scared me so I
was like 12 when it happened
and my friend called me up, not to see how I was,
not to see... you know not, to apologise
literally just called me up to ask me if I
told my mum
because they wanted to know if they
were going to get in trouble they didn't care
about me they only cared about themselves
They had issues of their own going on
They had a lot of issues that
I can't even begin to imagine how hard
that must have been for them I so kind of
understand and we were also very young
but that doesn't discount the impact it
had on my mental health and wellbeing
for a really long time after that I was
very uncomfortable around people they
made me feel like I was a burden and that I was
annoying to everyone I spoke to
I really shut down i didn't really speak
to anyone for a really long time when
you're in that position where you've got
someone like that especially if you
experience this young age like I did
when it's kinda like your first proper
serious friendship, you can't really imagine
what a proper supportive friendship is
like. As much as I'd love to say that I just
marched off the them one day like "I'm not gonna
let you treat me badly anymore we're not
friends anymore
delete my number" I didn't do that we
literally just drifted apart, they started
hanging out with this new group of
friends the ones I mentioned earlier who
would be horrible to me and I started
hanging out on my own I would eat my
lunch in the toilet at school or I just
get lunch altogether and go to the
library. I can promise you right now I
as horrible and isolating and lonely as
having no friends feels, it feels
infinitely better than hanging around
with people who bring you down and just
use you to make themselves feel better
I can promise you that one hundred
percent since then I have made new
friends who i know i'm going to be best
friends with him for the rest of my life
and I can say that about all of my
friends now, I know all of my friends who
i am close with i know for a fact we
will still be in contact when we're like
proper adults and we are there for each
other and we support each other and
that's what friendship should be a
friendship should be based on you know
mutual platonic love and trust and
support for each other
I know that I can rely on all of my
friends and they know that they can rely
on me too, and that's what friendship
should be built on- not trying to bring
yourself up
by putting someone else down no
matter how old you are
whether you're in school and you're
quite young or you're an adult and
you're in the last place or the social
scene or whatever you are always going
to encounter toxic people who are going
to be detrimental to your life are going
to use you to try and control you and
make themselves feel better that way and
you don't deserve that
When that person stopped being a part of my life
i'm going to be honest it really hard
because they were someone I considered to be
my best friend, I didn't know how I was ever
going to make any more friends, but at the
same time it's been about three/four
years- it's been four years actually since I
last properly spoke to that person
One of the biggest reasons i didn't end the
friendship even though I was not happy
with it was because I thought that I
wouldn't be able to find other friends I
thought that nobody else is gonna want
to be friends with me but now I have the
most amazing, incredible, supportive,
lovely, kind group of friends ever like
my best friends I feel like they are an
extension of me I feel like we have the
same personalities we have the same
sense of humor you know if I can find
people who are compatible with my personality
I promise you anyone can find
people who are compatible with their
personality, you just gotta look
although we may not want to sometimes it is completely
necessary to cut people out of our lives
maybe not only for our benefit but for
their benefit too. I'm going to leave some
links down below to the some websites all
about toxic friendships cutting people
out of your life etc because I
think this is something we need to talk
about more and something that needs to be
discussed more, I know definitely when I
was thirteen/fourteen/twelve, I would
have needed a video like this, I
would have needed someone to tell me
that I deserved better and that what was
going on in my friendship wasn't normal
and I think that's one of the main things,
i didn't realise that that wasn't normal
honestly looking back on it now I can
see my best friend but also my bully and
that's not right and I deserved better
that and if you're dealing with this too
you also deserve better. I don't
really know how to end this video I
don't really know what this was,
whether this was advice or me telling you a story
or a bit of both I don't know
thank you guys so much for watching and
I really hope this video was helpful so
i will see you next time I upload, bye.
For more infomation >> 5 Keys To Know If Your Partner Lies To You - Duration: 2:07. 
For more infomation >> What Are Social Housing HMOs? - Duration: 5:06. 
For more infomation >> Свадьба от ведущего шоу дуэта Лягре не тамада Киев в стиле Давай поженимся - Duration: 2:32. 
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét