is life happening to you or for you stay tuned this is Damon cart from NLP
Gym the video you're about to see was taken from my NLP practitioner training
if you like the video please click like down there and if you want to get more
of these videos please click Subscribe right down there too and hit the bell
also leave a comment or a question I will follow up with you this kept coming
up where I think I felt like things were happening to me and I don't we get upset
and I get reactive about it and then I would eventually solve it but I'm good
through this whole process of getting angry about it thinking about it in
terms of being not fair that this is these things just happened to me it
sucks and it's slowing me down and oh no I'm making whatever story or narrative
about it so of course whenever I started uploading or downloading the video from
the camera to my computer and I realized there was no sound I was just so angry
and I was just like oh this so this sucks
shit like this happens to me and it just and I was you know going into this
narrative and I was angry and it's nothing wrong with getting angry about
something like that I think I'm not I'm not saying that
there's nothing wrong with that because do you have an expectation you put some
work into something and it doesn't turn out like you expect it is natural to be
angry and if you're not your core if you're likely pushing that away and not
accepting the reality of our not accepting your feelings or your emotions
I'm not in any way suggesting that we shouldn't get angry it's just something
that happens we get angry it's our emotional response but what do you do
after that what do you do after that initial emotional response and I stopped
myself because I realized I was engaging in that type of thinking going down this
hole of things that suck happened to me or shit happens to me things I don't
like happen to me and I'm really still had to stop myself and say okay well
what kind of person would say that a person who feels like they're being
victimized by something okay well what am I being victimized
I'm an atheist I don't think God or the devil is out to get me
am I being victimized by just like universe like this that New Age kind of
idea about the universe that kind of sucks like that that doesn't that
doesn't fit I don't believe that so why not things happen and then I respond to
them and that immediately started creating solutions as soon as I did that
I was I was thinking okay well what do I do now I go solve the problem so instead
of tying myself up and all this stuff about oh this happened to me then I'm
now the victim then getting passed on I could go and solve this problem that
things became more practical so I started breaking down the equipment okay
where's where's the piece that doesn't work initially I found that the battery
was the thing that didn't work it is actually an egocentric thing to think
that things happen specifically to you because you know as a universe all your
for me and it's it's doing things for me sometimes and it's doing things against
me sometimes and things that I don't like this absolutely ridiculous and
absurd if you really think about it so things are happening and then I'm
responding to that and what that does is it empowers you to say okay well how do
I want to respond to that instead of getting caught up in a story that some
powerful force is acting against you or even for you
the other way that you could look at this as people who are psychotically
optimistic they tend to be sociopaths you know they think the world is kind of
there for them the world is happening for them and then you know the victims
who are feeling like the world is happening to them mm-hmm but we can and
we don't want to be too detached from that we don't want to say well know that
the world is happening and on this other entity who sort of thrown in the mix
well no we're we're definitely a part of this whole thing and things aren't
happening and sometimes we we do something and then the response to that
what we do is something that happens to us so I don't want to say I don't want
to clear and say that well that never happens
nothing ever happens to you well it does if you're engaged in that thing what
happened here with the microphone is once I would not allow myself to go into
that story and I got very practical about how to solve the problem
ultimately I was responsible for that there I should have had another battery
I should have checked the battery I should have kept tabs on how that was
working and I chose to not do that probably to put my attention on
something else well going forward after loosing all that video you can imagine
my attention will definitely be on that at all you know and periodically to make
sure that the battery doesn't fail so when you're thinking when you're
listening to the language of how do you think check in with that or is your
language indicating that things are happening to you for you
or more like things are happening and
you have choice and mainly notes about responding or how you respond so
definitely I clogged in my language this and this happened to me
and I stopped myself and got back to okay well this happens how do I choose
to respond to this well I could go into this victim phone would create a whole
story about how the universe is out to get me and still justify and my feeling
or I could say no I'm gonna I'm gonna look at this as this happened and now I
have a choice about how I want to respond this freed me from the emotional
part of it in the story part of it and said okay well now I can choose my
response I want this thing to work I want to figure out what happened I don't
want to be a potential mystery and always be something in the back of my
mind that I fear because I'm gonna do more video and I'll never quite know if
the sound is going to fail or not and that's gonna create some sort of
insecurity which continues to feed this emotion that things happen to me and I
don't know what's going to happen to be next and it could be really bad and now
I'm gonna fear that and then when it does happen I'm gonna say because things
will inevitably happen that I don't like and then I could say you see I knew it
thing bad things just happen to me so I get caught up in this belief in this
narrative is that just professionally feeds itself break that and get back to
things happen and now you have a choice how you want to respond to that know you
could definitely make the argument that this happened to me you can I'm not
saying that this is necessarily not true it's more you have the choice to decide
how you want to go about that how do you want to respond to that and when you
catch your language indicating any of these things that should be like an
indication that stop and say okay I don't want to go into this story I don't
wanna go into the emotion I want to go into the choice a choice to what what do
I want to do here and you may choose to you want to be a victim I'd rather be a
victim than solve this problem or I would rather be I'd rather just have
this idea that everything is just going to work out and the universe is going to
give me whenever I need to make that happen
and because universe is working in my favor and I don't think that ultimately
serves us I think it's probably a better way to think about it from this but I
think ultimately either one of these is egocentric and it's feeding a false
narrative and inevitably I think this will at some point shatter unless you
are but if a sociopath one of the I keep using that word that is one of the
traits of somebody who's a sociopath or what they call antisocial is they're
very charismatic oftentimes and it's because they have sort of a detachment
from the people and they tend to you think like Ted Bundy they tend to be
very charismatic they tend to feel like the world is happening for them and they
feel like they can't get caught and if they do get caught if they were talking
way out of it so I think that's that's what I'm indicating with the danger of
this like they're they can't be touched and because the world is always working
for them if you go too far with that it's dangerous if you tell you know any
one of these you can do it we probably do all do to a certain extent it just
depends on how far you go into it but the more you can be tennis from that
story of emotion and get back to the you know what is the ultimate outcome of
what I want out of this how does this relate to NLP and
what we're learning I think that's one of the reasons why an opium was created
is to come to the understanding that I live in a world where I don't have the
world is not happening to me I live in a world where I have choice and I know
that that's not necessarily going to come from seeking something external I
have to look at how I process information how I create my own reality
and that is the key to understanding or creating a world where I do have a
choice and I can do different things and I don't have to respond according to my
old programming or the stories that my parents told me or the stories that my
culture told me or the stories that other people are telling me I can be
practical about this I can look at the ways that I've responded in the past and
noticed patterns and then said okay I'm not going to indulge in that anymore I'm
going to create a new pattern I'm gonna focus on what my outcome is I'm going to
have a choice about how I how I do things one of the one of the reasons why
John rendering Richard Bandler got him long is because they were attending
these student meetings at various times and it was random they weren't like
meeting each other there was just these four student means that were happening
at the University of Santa Cruz that they were going into these dialog
through these groups of people who go into these dialogs and one person would
say something or bring up a an issue and then somebody else would stand up and
say you bringing up that issue or saying it the way that you did makes me feel
sad or makes me feel bad and they were engaging in all this and putting their
banner where they're kind of throwing up their hands and like why you know that's
the victim mentality is you control me by what you say that you control me by
your actions because you're making me feel a certain way and they were saying
no we we can have control over that and they got very frustrated by that and
that was one of the things that kind of brought them together they didn't like
the way that I guess the culture was moving at night and at the University
and so they actually started speaking out about it but that was one of the
things that the common ground that they found to work together is this idea that
no you you do have choice nobody else controls you those that is within your
control so
when we feel like outside events are controlling us because they're happening
to us then we're not in control and that perpetuates that feeling of being
hopeless and helpless and not being able to do anything of course we don't have
complete control if you feel like you have complete control then then you're
going in you're indulging the other one the one that where the world is working
for me and everything it's happening for me and I control everything and again
now you're still caught up in that egocentric mentality step out of that I
know that things happen and I have my responses and my responses can alter the
way things happen and what things are going to happen outside of my control so
it goes both ways
so basically the best solution is choice being able to choose when it's most
appropriate or most useful for you to view life as working for you or
happening to you if you want full engagement or sometimes it's good to be
sort of detached so you can solve problems better it all depends on the
situation there's no right or wrong way just what is most useful to you check
out my website NLP-gym.com there's some free NLP training there for you if
you want to check out what it's about also I have a live event coming up in
Santa Cruz California you can check out the Facebook page or my youtube channel
for updates on that live event with dr. Matt he's an international NLP and
personal development teacher coach trainer author of 13 books speaks and
lectures in seven different languages quite an extraordinary talent he'll be
coming to Santa Cruz November 4th and he'll be giving free talks throughout
throughout the day on personal branding also on persuasion and on how to create
or basically design your identity if you like this video remember to hit the like
button and also hit subscribe and hit the bell so that you can get
notifications when new videos come out take care
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét