Good Morning everybody, Christiane Witt here!
I'm so tired of telling you how cold it is in my studio but good morning.
We're here to talk about your fear, your worries, and your anxieties around getting
hurt – getting hurt riding or maybe even anxieties in life.
So, we're just a couple of minutes early.
As always Facebook will find you.
And the question for today is – What is your dog's breed?
You know, you're horsewomen, I assume that you have dogs.
That said, I don't have a particular breed.
I have three mutts and so mutt comes for me as a breed.
So, just punch in what it is that your dog is or your dogs, pick one.
(Good Morning, Donna)
And today we're going to talk about fear, worries, and generalized anxieties around
getting hurt and you will find that the approach to it, to fixing it, to overcoming it and
to releasing your fear is very different depending on where your, what your fear is and where
it originated.
So, good morning!
I know everybody's joining me.
For those of you who watch it in replay, just fast forward two minutes and we'll go get
started in a minute.
Sorry, my body needs to move because it's so cold.
Okay
I'm actually quite excited and also a little humbled by the topic.
It's a very big topic.
Oh, Donna has a standard poodle and a Jack Russell.
That is a cute combination; love it.
It's been...
I've learned so much about anxiety and fear, and also I'm a little puzzled by it.
There are so many theories, so many approaches and when we reveal at the end what I'm actually
going to do to up my own knowledge and understanding and conviction that what I teach you is the
right science-proven approach.
Okay so we have a Blue Heeler.
Fantastic.
And, somebody's saying "Hi", that's me.
That's kind of funny – "Hi".
I think this might be Lori logged in for me.
I don't know.
So, hello.
Let's get started in just a minute.
For those of you who are already here, think about what your kind of worry might be.
Is it a fear?
Is it a worry?
Is it an anxiety?
Just keep that in your mind.
Gail said: "I have two mix breeds".
Yup, we got three.
We got super large, medium, and small, and it's quite fluffy.
Okay.
It is coming to the top of the hour so I'm going to get started.
For those of you who've seen my post, Susan, a client of mine asked me this week.
And so I'm going to repeat this because I think many of you will totally connect with
this.
"Can you help me?
I think I'm always worried even when my horse behaves wonderfully.
I noticed that some of the other women in our communities have something specific that
has caused them to be fearful.
I, I just worry all the time.
As soon as I'm in the saddle, I think of anything and everything that could go wrong.
I worry about deer crossing my path, the possibilities of balloons flying over head, and a motorcycle
cutting around the turn."
So, is that a possibility?
Just thumbs up or something if that resonates with you.
"Even when nothing happens on my trail ride, I return home stressed instead of relaxed
from my time in the saddle.
My worries just ruin my rides and feel like an insurmountable emotional barrier between
my horse and I." (Good Morning, Denise).
So she definitely has an anxiety versus for me, it was more a very specific; well it became
a fear of getting hurt but it started with one specific incident.
Now, in my 50 years of riding, I've certainly taken falls but it was very much one particular
one that I had just hadn't prepare, or I didn't know about one of my horse's emotional
moods.
I couldn't have known so I got it taught by falling off.
But that caused me a particular anxiety of a saddle, of all things.
I could later ride him bare back.
I could ride him with a bare back pad.
I could ride him out always fine but I could not get my foot in that saddle.
I remember looking and staring it.
It would follow me into my dreams.
I would try to lift up my foot into the stirrup and I would freeze.
And it was really embarrassing because here I was, this professional, and I was supposed
to gentle mustangs, left and right, and I couldn't get a foot in that saddle.
So what does Rose say?
"Since my accident, I have anxiety and seem to think if something could spook my horse
any minute."
So that is a more generalized anxiety and that is what we're going to talk about a
lot.
"I start worrying, hauling my baby down the highway."
Yeah, because you start to anticipate that at some point you are going to put a foot
in a stirrup or even worried about the highway.
Okay so Donna, "I worry that I won't see what's going to happen and I won't see
this signs of impeding unwanted behavior from my horse and that's what happen to cause
my wreck.
I wrongfully doubt my many..."
Probably what she's trying to say; I can't read it but "very positive experiences."
Okay.
Alright.
So, I'm going to proceed what I'm going to teach today is that that is my knowledge
of today and my approach of today.
But that said, I've started taking a step back from teaching and marketing, and producing
courses – (Hi, Lori) – and I'm sitting with the latest, latest research on how to
improve on what I'm going to teach today.
And it was actually caused by somebody in our community who said, "Can I actually
really do trauma work?" and I didn't really feel comfortable with that.
But, I have found something that I want to really research and see if I can develop it
into an approach.
Okay so Gail says, "My horse is very unpredictable.
So I feel like I'm only on guard and not relaxed."
Okay.
So let's get into this because you all have somewhat different causes for fear.
And it requires a different, what I call, a fear or worry rehab program; resetting your
worries thermostat.
So, let's talk about this today.
First, I wanted to start actually with a quote.
The author, I'm sure I'm going to mispronounce her last name but Jodi Picoult would be the
French pronunciation but I'm not sure, says, "Anxiety is like a rocking chair.
It gives you something to do but you don't go very far."
I think that's what we all feel.
(Good Morning, Cecilia) – is that we're on a rocking chair but we don't go very
far.
And we want to; many of you want to go really far and it's really stopping you, right?
Okay so – Thanks for the heart, Cecilia – Okay so again, many of you have a specific
incident but – (it's a really good quote) but many of you has either transferred that
fear of that incident into a larger, more generalized anxiety.
I think that's a very common experience.
And again, it requires a different learning plan, rehab plan than if you were worried
about one particular thing.
So let's get going.
Again, in my article, I mentioned that worry can have various causes.
So let's go through this.
And you, mentally, do a check.
Okay?
So, very high expectations.
I am highly attached to things going perfectly every time I get on the horse.
No matter what I demand of myself and my horse.
And if I don't, then I'm going to judge myself (number two) very harshly about having
messed up.
That's the pity version, right?
But my head, I'd tell you when I mess up, it doesn't use the pity version.
My inner critic is very harsh with me.
I immediately go to shame.
And the way I feel shame is that everybody has a different shame, physical shame response.
Mine is I get flushed.
I get wobbly knees.
I mean I know when I'm in shame.
So shame is such a strong emotion, and an emotion we really want to avoid that we will
fear being shamed or feeling shamed.
So high expectations not met, followed by a strong inner critic that shames us, causes
a huge amount of an anxiety.
The third one is an interesting one.
It's just getting into the depth of the latest research about this.
But the three is that our emotional response to our physical fear is exaggerated.
So, think about your horses.
When they get fearful, they have physical flight response.
And we can actually, I don't know if you see this a lot in your domestic horses; yeah,
or you feel depressed.
It's a depressant.
Actually shame causes depression.
So, it's related.
But if you look at your horses, and I don't know if your domestic horses do it; when we
adopt a mustang, soon after adoption, he/she when they are in fear will start to release
their poop.
They will drop very, very thin, almost watery manure.
And it is a fear, a physical fear response because they are getting ready for flight.
So they're lightening their load.
Basically, like a plane or dump fuel.
And that's exactly what they're doing.
So it's a physical response.
We have the same thing in many ways.
Let's not get into how familiar we are with that response.
But we have the same response.
We have a physiological response.
Adrenaline gets pumped into our body.
We stop thinking about everything else.
We fully focus on either fighting, fleeing, or freezing; the three F's.
And Dr. Brene Brown actually found out that we have an innate familiar response.
So we have a favorite response, a primary response.
Some of in response to shame and fear, start fighting; verbally, whatever it is.
We get aggressive.
Some of us want to run out the room.
Think about a conversation with somebody you have a conflict with.
Are you ready to verbally or emotionally punch?
Are you ready to leave?
Or are you freezing like stone-walling, like you cannot respond; you cannot understand;
you can't hear?
Think about this for a second as I'm turning my heater off.
First, it's off.
Now, it's hot.
And give me a response – which of the three F's are you doing?
Okay, let's see.
So Rose – self-defense.
What does that mean?
Do you freeze?
Do you fight?
Because all F's are really a self-defense; but is it "I got to leave.
I got to leave", or you're freezing, or you're punching.
Okay, so many of you, your primary response is freezing.
Oh, Cecilia – she fights.
Woohoo!
I don't want to be in a room with you when that happens, girl.
Okay.
So Lori again, I think you got to switch out of 'me' to you because I don't freeze,
I fight.
So Gail, you fly; Lynn, you freeze.
Okay.
You notice how we're all saying different things.
So no wonder the rehab planning would be a little different.
And the fact that we are aware of this is fantastic because it's a really great indicator
that we happen to be in fear response, physiological.
This is the reptilian brain.
There is nothing we can do about it.
It is as old as the reptiles, right?
But, the emotional response to that physical response, that can be altered.
And it kind of clicked for me like, "Oh my God, yes!
It's two distinct but highly related events.
Your body does something and your brain goes, "Oh crap, something must be happening".
The horses actually in some more primitive way, do it, too.
They don't have quite the sophisticated thinking process we do but they do feel in
an emotion based on what they feel physically.
And that's where we can help them.
When we say, this is a mature horse, it doesn't mean that it doesn't experience physiological
responses or fear arousal.
It knows how to handle them.
It knows how to handle them in true proportion of what's actually happening.
And that's what causes anxiety.
That's when you worry about not being able to trust yourself.
You're not able to trust yourself to know when it is a true response like – is your
emotional response congruent with the physical threat?
That's what's happening.
It's like your emotional response to your fear went crazy.
So the rehab process is not about not getting afraid.
You are going to have a physical response.
(Good Morning, Rita.
Thanks for joining).
Gail says, "You can get out of the situation fast enough" so you use flight.
Does that make sense?
It's two super, super connected responses but they're different.
So in a way, if we can create a little gap between our physiological response, of adrenaline,
this desire to fight, flight, or flee, and we can lower and moderate our emotional response
to that thing that happened, now we can be more mature.
We can respond according to the degree of fear.
And this is what really good, experienced horses do.
They're still startled.
They're still worried.
They still look at that deer crossing the path.
But they're not taking off because they have been able to figure out that they can
think in horse terms, think their way through the situation.
They can calmly assess if it's worth a flight.
Because remember that horses are very drawn to that; because they need to preserve their
energy.
If they use flight for every little thing, they're going to exhaust themselves.
And when the tiger, whatever, finally comes, they're exhausted.
So it's as in theirs as in it's our benefit to regulate our emotional response to our
fear reaction.
That's what we're going to talk about today.
Now, there were other aspects that can affect us, right?
So we talked about really high expectations and the inner critic that creates a lot of
anxiety.
We talked about the lack of real experience.
We talked about a lack of skills.
Every time you do something first time or your horse does it for the first time, you're
going to have higher arousal level.
You're more insecure.
You're not; it's not a routine yet.
If you don't really know what you're doing, then it's kind of scary.
That's normal.
That's totally normal.
We can't change that.
The way we can change that is to do it more often.
So it becomes a more ... So let's take these live broadcasts.
When I first started, I was really nervous.
I've never done this.
I didn't know what you guys would say, how it would work, would my internet hold; whatever.
Now, I've done it for months, twice a week.
I'd show up, click the buttons, say "Hi" to you and I feel totally at home.
But I couldn't earn this sense of comfort other than just doing it.
Some things we just have to do.
Lack of skills – So let's say I wouldn't know how to gauge you and I'd be really
boring, and I'd be like, "Okay now we're going to talk about me..." and I'm wondering
why you're all leaving.
Then, I need to learn a skill of engaging you, of making it interesting for you.
Okay?
So six was genetics.
Yesterday, I was in the pasture and we were celebrating our little colt's second birthday,
and we put a party hat on him which he thought was kind of weird, and we gave him carrots,
and everybody was having a blast.
Something out there happened; deer, whatever.
His Mom, our shy Maia, was the only one bolting out of the stall to check it out.
Nobody else cared.
Carrots were much more salient than the deer out there.
It is genetic.
She's the oldest one.
She's one of the ones I worked most with and yet, she jumps.
And so all of you have different levels in your DNA, of anxiety.
Some people are really laid back – "Oh who cares?" and some of you are a little
bit more like, "Ooh, I don't know".
We can try to modulate the response to the physical reaction but we can't modulate
your level of physical reaction.
And then lastly, history.
As always it's genetic, it's nature nurture.
So if you, especially early on had some very traumatic experiences that led you to believe
that you don't have control over what's happening to you – I'm not going to go
into this publicly but that was definitely my experience – then your center of self-efficacy,
we call it, your (what do I want to say), your belief that you can affect your environment
is going to be affected.
Now again, it's there.
It happens.
It's in your past.
So we're going to talk about now what you can actually do, step-by-step to change some
of this perception that you're not in control.
Okay.
I'm going to start with the really simple ones.
Yes, it's a control issue, of course.
And there's a reality that your horse, you're sitting on something that's relatively uncontrollable
in its responses.
You can teach it all kinds of things and that's why we suck them out and we desensitize them;
all kinds of things.
Research shows though, and you have seen it, that it is not very transferrable.
So, your horse may be totally tarped out.
You can throw that tarp wherever and however you want, and then it sees a tarp on the side
of the road on your trail ride, and it looks like it has never seen the tarp.
That is because, what we call in psychology, extinction which is the end result of desensitization.
It does not transfer very well to other environments.
It's very contextually dependent.
So a tarp in the ring will be fine.
A tarp on the trail, whole new thing.
And Cecilia actually noticed that with the water obstacle that you created, right?
Your horse wants to paw on the stream on a trail.
She creates a little stream pond thing in her arena.
The horse doesn't even want to paw.
That is because the behavior was very contextually dependent, and so by taking it out of its
own context, you saw a different response.
So extinction of spooking to certain things only goes so far.
Yeah.
Okay.
We talked about a lot of stuff.
Let's go into what we can do.
What I know so far, and I will take all of the month of March to drive that a little
deeper – is that there are many psychological approaches to helping soothe this emotional
response to an inevitable physical response to a stimulus.
And there's cognitive therapy and blah la la la...
What research has shown, and it's so easy to explain for the horse, is that behavioral
therapy actually works really well especially as it's combined with relaxation; so mindfulness.
And we've been doing this, right?
Whoever is in the True Friendship Foundation Program knows that we're both working on
hanging out with our horses, sharing space, opening our hearts, being mindful about how
we interact with them.
So we practice mindfulness.
And on the other hand, we are starting to talk and relate to our inner protector, this
fear response.
And if you think what do we do with horses to teach them?
Natural horsemanship has brought us one enormous gift by explaining very simply what pressure
and retreat is like.
We expose our horse to a limited stimuli that takes it out of its perfect comfort zone but
doesn't bring it into fear zone.
And then we retreat from it.
Because it's a prey, the stimulus; any stimulus that's scary would continue approaching
it.
By the horse retreating or we retreating the stimuli, we're showing the horse that it
is not a predator.
That's how they learn.
Does that make sense to you guys?
So let's say I expose them...
Let's say the party hat on Trek, our foal, yesterday; colt – it was this Disney paper
cardboard party hat.
He'd never seen it and it made a funny noise on his head so I withdrew it.
I showed it to him and I withdrew it.
And within a couple of minutes, it was on top of his head and he even thought; he thought
he was silly looking.
He was fine with it.
That's pressure and release.
Because every time we withdraw it and we withdraw ourselves, the horse inevitably understands
it's not a tiger.
A tiger wouldn't just go, "Oh hi, Trek" and then move away.
That's not how a predator responds.
And the same goes for us.
It's just a horse-related analogy.
But extinction therapy is just the same thing, and it can have various ways including the
very scary flooding where you get exposed to really scary thing.
We're not talking about that.
We're talking about a gradual approach to a scary object, situation, or position.
You're going to do it with a little pressure and a lot of release.
Now, as we do with horses, we realize that more often we do it, and greater the releases,
faster the horse learns.
So instead of doing a whole bunch of little ones, we can do a few little ones with a huge
release.
We can totally walk away rather than just let's say, step away.
Bigger the releases, more evidence of the horse that this thing cannot be scary.
Thanks for the thumbs up.
The same is for you.
It is a combination of numbers and a repetitious, and magnitude of release.
So let's go look at that.
Somebody give me an example on what would put them to a stretch zone.
Because I want to take a real example you have.
So let's say you're comfortable in the arena.
Stepping out of the arena could be scary.
Give me something.
If I don't get something because it's a little delayed, I'm going to use my own
example.
And then if we have time, I'll give you another one from what you post.
So I was scared of that saddle, really.
I mean just even thinking about it today.
Putting my foot into the stirrup; okay; trail riding, was really scary.
Like just my freeze response was activated the moment I put my foot in the stirrup.
So I cut it down to even smaller pieces where I put a mounting block there and I just stood
on the mounting block next to the saddle.
And then I stepped out, walked around with Dao.
I just did all kinds of things; my release.
Then I step back up.
Put my foot a little up like lift my foot up a little bit.
I got a little nervous.
I stepped off the mounting block, walked around.
Now before I go further into my story, I see that you guys are putting up very high expectations.
Your goals are really huge – trail riding, that can mean a lot; riding through the woods
where all the scary things are can mean a ton of different things.
Donna – riding a new horse rather than my old well known horse.
Do you see how bigger projects you guys are building?
That's like literally like me saying, "I want to lose weight" or even better, "I
want to look younger".
Do you see how big that is?
That could involve losing weight.
That could involve plastic surgery.
That could involve bleaching my teeth.
That could involve all kinds of things for me to look younger and I haven't even specified
how much younger I want to look.
So your learning plan has to be much more precise.
And that starts with a precise goal.
So Denise says, "riding down the road, past cows, horses, and dogs".
That's a little bit more precise; or Gail, "getting in the saddle".
That's a pretty precise one.
We can actually really see what that looks like.
I would even say, make it even more precise – which saddle, on what horse, in what environment,
Gail?
Does that make sense?
Like if I go into an old rental saddle that I've never even inspected and doesn't
fit me, on some horse that's like fresh off the track, and I have to do that in the
middle of a trail ride from a downhill, that's a different thing than on my familiar saddle,
in my familiar saddle; on my familiar horse, in the familiar ring.
So, be specific about your goal.
Denise – "Riding down the road, past cows, horses, dogs"; which road, how many yards,
how many cows, how far is your horse away from those stimuli?
Do you see that?
Your learning plan, your worry thermostat resetting plan needs to start with a very
precise goal because you cannot really use pressure and release on something nebulous;
nor can you with your horses.
So if you said, "I want my horse to be 100% bomb-proof"; that's about as precise as
most of what you said and I know you just wanted to type faster ... just help.
How do I even start getting my horse 100% bomb-proof?
It's too big but what if I said, "I want my horse to be ... Let's say on an alertness
level, form 1 to 10, and he's like kind of at a 2 with my meditation and mindfulness,
I don't want his alertness level to rise more than 3 when I put a saddle blanket on
him.
In my case, Dao is terrified of saddles.
Cecilia – "I'm learning to be more precise"; yes.
Okay, Gail – "New saddle, new horse, not been out of the pasture yet".
Okay so from that, develop something that's more attainable, more reasonable.
Have a more reasonable expectation as your first goal.
Don't set yourselves up for failure.
Maybe use a saddle that you're familiar with.
Even if, and the moment it doesn't fit your horse a 100%, that's okay; we're not saying
you're going to a 20 mile trail ride.
But it's maybe something that you can do more easily.
"Hasn't been out of pasture yet" – So maybe there's a smaller goal here.
Get horse familiar with arena to a point where his alertness level doesn't rise above 3.
Can you do that?
That, you can do.
That is like on my path to looking younger.
I want to lose 5 pounds within 6 weeks using this type of diet.
And I will measure it by...
Now you can do significant exposure, pressure, and significant release.
And you can do a lot of it.
Remember that we want significant and a lot of it.
So does that help you?
Can you start to see how you could create your own plan based on what your primary goal
is?
So maybe your very big goal is – "I want to trail ride, fear-free".
It doesn't mean fearless and wreckless but you really want to not have fear.
Good.
That's a good one, right?
That's like a big mission.
Then, bring it down to ... (I like all the thumbs up) Then bring it down to something
that you can actually attain.
Make it so reasonable that you don't set your expectations so high that your inner
critic comes up all the time.
"Well, once again, I wasn't on that trail ride today."
Maybe you're really far away from that trail ride.
Now, somebody said, "Oh, I'm getting older.
Will I ever get there?"
Okay so Gail, "I'm not so worried about this spook as I am about to handle it, and
that's why I always get off."
So, I think you kind of fitting into the practice, practice, practice part.
You haven't really practiced enough in a controlled environment how to handle a spook.
So, this is a really good goal.
You could turn this into a goal – "I will be able to handle a spook no matter where
it happens."
That's an excellent goal.
A sub-goal would be, "I will be able to handle a moderate spook or a light spook"
and you can define that even by numbers of arousal level of your horse; "where my horse
gets, his alertness level rises from a 3 to a 5"; so he goes instead [demonstrates]...
Okay, you know what I mean.
So then, and "I'm going to handle that at a walk."
Or, "I'm going to handle it from the ground."
Got it?
So let's say that ... gets old news; like this now is comfort.
"Oh my God, whenever we wiggle, whatever thing that arouses him a little bit, I can
just bend him and release his hind end, and we're fine."
Now, create a new one.
"I'm able to handle his spook from the saddle at a walk."
And a spook is defined by arousal level of 6.
You see I'm getting kind of mechanical here and kind of really logical.
But you cannot develop a rehab program on nebulous goals; and I learned that very quickly
as an occupational therapist.
That if I just set the goal so big – "My client able to dress herself with one arm"
was probably one of the biggest goals I ever had.
That was a huge rehab goal because it's very, very difficult to do.
So we have to cut it down – "able to pull up jeans with one hand"; "able to take
a shower with one hand".
Okay.
Under those, "with a step in shower"; you get really kind of specific and then you
take one element at a time.
So let's say you want to be able to handle your spooks.
Your first goal is "comfortably be able to handle my horse's spook defined by an
alertness level of 5, from the ground".
Maybe your next one is "7 from the ground".
The next one is, "no matter what the spook is, I can handle him from the ground.
And I can manage my emotion so I don't freeze or flee, or fight"; whatever your response
is.
Do you see how, when you start to think about your own thing, about your horse's which
triggers the fear, and you are precise about it, you can then handle it.
You can set expectations where your inner critic doesn't jeopardize the whole darn
thing.
It's very mechanical.
I get that.
And on Saturday, we're doing the whole opposite, right?
We're doing the heart part, the mindfulness part, the connecting with our horse's heart.
But it doesn't eliminate the need for this.
So Denise, "When we see cows, horses, he gets fired up and hot."
That means that you are at this point, setting unrealistic expectations on him, and on you,
too, have to handle that.
So what about bringing one cow in or bring in the neighbor's dog in on a leash, or...
Do you see what I'm saying?
Do it in a controlled environment.
Maybe your horse is in an arena, by himself and you bring your dog up to the fence.
Then, you retreat the dog, of course.
Remember, horses as well as people learn on the retreat, not on the exposure.
So, you take the dog away, and your horse calms down.
You calm down.
Alright, we got that handled.
Now, you bring your dog and you keep it there a little longer.
You get your dog a little excited.
You play with your dog.
And you only play until you see your horse get kind of towards fear zone.
Walk away.
More that the horse learns that it can handle the fear, better his response is going to
be.
He's going to crave the release.
And you are going to crave the release.
And that's what you want.
That's a more mature way of looking at fear.
So Gail, "I'm always thinking of 'what if' around my horse"; too much thinking,
that is generalized anxiety.
That makes sense, and we're getting a little over time.
But if you want to stick around a little, I have a few more minutes.
So, too much thinking.
The too much thinking comes from thinking of all the stuff that can happen.
And to be realistic, let's do a reality check – Life is unpredictable.
We don't know what's around the corner.
We don't know what the next medical visit is going to happen.
We don't even know if we're going to wake up.
Or as the Buddhist said, "the only certainty we have is until our next breath".
We don't know if [gasp] is going to happen again.
So, that doesn't mean that it is solving your issue but there's a reality check which
is "life is unpredictable".
But we can get some control over how we respond to the inevitable unpredictability of life.
(I have to put my glasses back on to see what you guys are saying.)
"Amen to that".
So it is not what happens to us.
It is how we respond to what happens to us, and we can practice those responses.
That's the big lesson here.
We can practice to soothe and to modulate our physiological responses of fear, of wanting
to flee, of wanting to hide and freeze, and on wanting to fight.
So if you think about it, what is a mature partner in a relationship?
Do you not get triggered sometimes by your husband, partner?
I do.
It's how I respond to it.
It's not the trigger.
And how do I get to learn to respond to it?
In two ways – one, I practice with partners.
He's not my first partner.
I'm way better today than I was when I was 20.
That's for sure.
And, I practice in other areas of my life.
Every time I face some challenge and I was able to withdraw and find release.
My release right now is to push the stop button, the finish button on this.
And walk away and go, "Bingo!
Another one down that seemed to have been well-received".
So next time, I'm just a little bit more confident.
I'm confident you're not going to chew me out or you're not going to tell me I'm
full of baloney; again, pity.
And if you are, if somebody, some internet troll joins us and says something, I know.
I can handle it because I have all these positive experiences, thanks to you, behind me.
I can get a little bit more controversial.
I can speak up a little louder about what I believe is wrong in the horse industry because
I got you guys behind me.
I got the positive feedback behind me.
It doesn't topple me to the way bottom.
And that's what really it is.
Being on camera is a pressure.
It's scary.
It's inevitably scary.
Thousands of people watch this, every broadcast.
But then, I push the finish button, and I see you guys saying "this works; thank you
this is helpful".
That makes me a little bit more resilient to my fear response when somebody says something
that hurts.
Okay.
So I think all of you watched, and those of you who are not yet part of our Facebook group,
it's Confidence and Harmony in the Saddle and Beyond; and that's facebook.com/harmonywithhorses.
Come join us and let's have a discussion.
Let's have a ... I'm going to put a post up that says – "Post your learning plans";
post them.
Be specific in your goal.
Give us specific things you're going to do.
And then report back and if you were successful.
Report back the setbacks.
That's okay, too.
They're part of the deal.
The resilience to setback is what we're learning here.
As Dr. Brene Brown said, "Shame is an inevitable piece of life.
The only thing we can learn is to become more resilient to shamers."
The same is for fear.
Okay.
Thanks for letting me get overtime.
As always, I love you, love you, and thank you for being so active in your responses.
On Saturday, it is March, so we're going to start to look at positive reinforcements
and Clicker training, and how that stands in our way or brings us up our spiritual path
to the bottom of the heart of our horses.
[Blew a kiss.]
Bye for now!
Thank you!
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