this Janiece my niece, aka Stewie
we're gonna answer questions!
yaaaay-- oh. Were you gonna say something?
no, I was gonna say, "Say Hi."
say hi
hi
this is gonna be great
(laughs)
(mumbling to each other)
this is Janiece!!
(laughs)
say "hey," Janiece
hey Janiece
(sighs)
they don't even know who I am!
but they love you all ready
(laughs)
oh! If any of you are long time followers...
of Captain's art
if you recall the lady bug
in the Adventure Time series
that's me!
J: I'm the ladybug! C: Shuddup Janiece!
Janiece
pick a question
sleep
what would you do?
(laughs) J: you wanna elaborate on that?
no, I always sleep
J: I'd write more; listen to music...
ok
(laughs)
(sings) ~can I get a refill~
(mom: SHUDDUP!)
~can I get a refill~
J: I can't go that high; I'm done
~can I get a reeeee~eeeee~
~refill~
J: oh this is a hard question
C: but who would you want your baby daddy to be? J: no, like an actual--
J: no, because
C: baby daddy to be
(J: isn't that--that's from something) C: pick
Bruno Mars
dangit I shoulda said that
(laughs)
J: I'd kidnap him if I could
C: I mean, you can take him; you're probably taller than him
I think we're the same height
nooooo
I gotta bad back
(C: you do have a bad back) J: I shrink
I shrink every--
C: you're shrinking like an old lady before you're old
I have a controversial one
nevermind!
you don't know what I'm gonna say!
what, Janiece?
this man has been accused of abusing people
so
that's all I'm gonna say
I like his acting though
(C: who is it Janiece?) J: gotta love
Captain Jack Sparrow
oh
C: Johnny Depp J: ah yes
yours?
it changes
I like, uh, Chadwick
(envious groan)
next!
lemme read it
awwww!
me?!
I thought you were gonna say me so I was like
oh!
I don't talk to anybody
I want a bigger butt
(laughs)
J: pineapple
and fight me
C: I will fight you RIGHT HERE
C: why Janiece?
because I remember being a child
going to the California pizza kitchen IN California
and getting pineapple pizza
my personal
pineapple pizza
"man if you like pineapple pizza on your pizza than you're whipped--I'ma jump you"
and I'm like, come through cyberspace and find me, cause
I will fight you
that I love
I can handle not having that much money
I'm probably gonna broke for my 20s
we'll take care of you, Janiece
thanks; I appreciate it
my dread got stuck in the chair
um, suggestion; I would like to influence people
you know I'm gonna edit you out with your boobs hanging out on the bottom
J: online (Ni: forever21)
(laughs)
I'ma punch
C: well my favourite-- J: where do you like to shop?
(laughs) (Ni: edit that)
my favourite place to shop is BLICKS
but we don't have one close
BLICKS!
both: BLICKS!
BLICKS
C: sponsor me! J: sponsor her!
there's one in Roswell, and I'll go there all the time if you guys pay me
I like music
but like
I rather be deaf
I can't be blind
I can't
(Ni: not you, yeah) J: well yeah, you need to draw
C: yes
(sings "Last Surprise" from Persona 5) C&Ni: ~you'll never see it comiiiiing~
(laughs)
I wouldn't waste my money taking that stupid AP calculus exam
girl, you gotta 1
don't take it
yeah, I gotta 1
I like everything that's happened to me; everything happens for a reason
what is the longest--
(laughs)
I don't even think anything more than 24 hours, to be honest
I know, "baby," I know
uh, for me
I wanna say 72hrs
you wanna guess?
yeah
Nicole?
52hrs
(hums "Dial M for Monkey" theme song)
(Ni: THAT'S NOT GOOD!!!)
(laughs)
(sings "Super Freak" by Rick James) ~she likes the boys in the band~
~she says that I'm her all time favourite~
I was--
I had 2 different lines; I wasn't sure which one came next
C&Ni: ~she will never let your spirits down~ (J: that's what--oh, that's not what--)
~when you get her off the streets~
all: ~oh yeah!~
I have a question
I have an answer
Fresh Prince (of Belair) comes back
and they add the, um
the characters from
Proud Family
(laughs)
what?
C: yeah
like---but, like
live action
live action Proud Family!
nothing changes though
they keep the same kinda comedy
so, this would be more like a reality show
you said sitcom!
it would be--
C: don't change it just for you! J: no, but in my head--!
what Janiece?
ok, so basically
this would never be able to happen but
my dream sitcom
would be like
about Biggie and Tupac living in the same apartment
in heaven
and I have a jingle for it, but I'm not gonna do it
cause I can't reach those notes anymore
C: do it
J: no
C: you gotta do it
Ni: sing it!
J: I can't! I really can't reach it!
C: (hums a theme song)
(laughs)
(sings)~it's Tupac~
~and Biggie~
~in heaven~
~together~
~it's Tupac~
~and Biggie~
~in heaven~
~together~
(Na: so it's like)
(Na: ~Biggie and Tupac living in an apartment together!~)
J: no, that's not how it went
J: "in the same apartment"
(sings)~Biggie and Tupac LIVING IN THE SAME APARTMENT!!~
Eazy E's the 3rd guy!
Yaaaay!
(Ni: they said like "Three's Company")
like in heaven--an apartment in heaven
J: (sings) ~Ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-nick~
C: ~Nickelodeon~
(J$: Yay!)
gettin' thinner with no dinner
gettin' thiccer quicker
yeaaaaah
(laughs)
before you kick the bucket
um
I dunno
I'll probably kinda just laugh
and be like
(laughs)
see ya
if I have kids I'd be like
"I'm not your real mother..."
BLEH!
(laughs)
(laughs) (Ni: NOOOOOOO!)
it's ok, I can cut it out if you walk into the shot
(sings)J:~cut it~
~cut it~
both: ~cut it~
both:~cut it~
J:~cut it~
J:~cut it~
J:~cut it~
J:~cut it~
both: ~yo prices way too high you need to cut iiiit~
C: Black Panther!
J: of course--anyway~
I don't watch X-men
Night-Night
both: Nightcrawler
C: I was gonna say Nightwing
ONE
J: I have 2
C:I saw you putting your fingers up; ONE
J: I have 2! (C: ONE)
C: pick one, pick your favourite
C: who would you save on your cliff?
who would you want to save you?
but Storm can fly, so I wouldn't have to worry about her
who would you want to save you?
J: I want both of them to save me!
C: can't have both
fine, I want Gambit to save me
I would rather have Storm save me
ooh you got coffee?
you didn't make me any? I always make you coffee!
(Na: I didn't know--y'all were out here KIGGLIN and KIGGLIN)
"kickin and kigglin"
(Na: "kigglin and kigglin")
what does "kigglin" even mean?!
C: it's like something that hangs off the pig?
(Ni: ok but)
C: like if people who eat the pigs nipples
(laughs)
(laughs) C: that's what "kigglin" sounds like
C: kinda like chitlins, but their little beedy-beads (J: groans)
(Ni: EWWWWWW!) (laughs)
(Ni: ew cause it made me see the little--)
C: yeah, like "we eat the KIGGLIN" off the pig
"the KIGGLIN?"
"the little nipples under there"
C: "ew you do? you eat those?" (Ni: STOP)
(Ni: Janiece is done)
"you eat those for real?"
(Na: Janiece eats the kigglin)
C: ew Janiece, you eat the kigglin?!
J: what are pig nipples called?
(laughs)
"what is Nipple Bacon--" AAAUUUGH!
(laughs) (Ni: NO NO NO)
"what is Nipple Bacon and why are people freaking out about it?"
cause it's disgusting
"yesterday Gizmodo posted a picture of sliced Nipple Bacon, which is quite literally a slice of bacon with--"
OH MY GOSH
they gotta picture?!
lemme see
J: why does this exist?
um, comment below: would you eat Nipple Bacon?
(Ni: EW)
would you eat Nipple Bacon?
(Ni: we probably do, they just cut it off)
yeah
but who would eat it with it still on there?
kigglin
(Ni: kigglin)
I need y'all to stop
kigglin
(Na: kigglin and cacklin)
kigglin on the pig
say "bye," Janiece
bye, and remember to
put a rainbow
I'm not editing in a rainbow!
bye
do the thing
do the thing Janiece
so we're matching?
so you do--wait, are we doing skin or no skin?
it's all skin, Janiece
C: both skin
bye!
say "bye," Stewie
bye Stewie
C: I-I-!! (laughs)
both: BYEEEEEEEEE!!
no, I told you not to get political
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