Confidence is what I believe to be one of the most
important virtues to learn and keep on developing as a human being, because it is the core enabler in a person's life.
But the sad truth is that in our modern education, we barely teach these things to kids, not to mention adults
and we just throw out phrases like
"Love yourself" "Be confident" too many times without knowing what it actually means to love oneself and be confident
that many people just end up thinking "That's cliche"
"I already know that" "Self-growth teachings are for people who are pathetic," and never take them seriously.
But you see, working on confidence is what we all should take seriously for a lifetime because our life depends upon it.
Why does it depend upon it? Because without core confidence,
it becomes hard to peacefully follow the nature of life; the pattern of reality. And what is the nature of life?
What is the pattern of reality? It's that nature and our lives are not linear.
It's not straight line. The way things grow and proceed in reality
is that they move up in a circular pattern and come back and move around and wind their way up.
That's how stock market grows
that's how businesses grow, that's how our past life has been like and
nobody goes straight up in reality.
And you see, it's easy to be confident and feel good about yourself when things are going well
A hot guy asks you out on a date, you got promotion at work,
you got accepted to your dream school, you get a bunch of compliments from people.
But during the downhill period when things are going circular and in this way and that way
it is quite natural for human beings to have more doubts, worries, and insecurities.
But when core confidence is there, the intensity and the level of doubt worries and insecurities can be significantly reduced.
Core confidence lets you believe in yourself even when things are going in an undesirable way.
So what exactly is this core confidence?
What does it mean to be truly confident?
It is important to understand that as long as we human beings are part of nature,
our life is going to follow that organic, natural pattern, not straight lines.
So all people, no matter who they are how beautiful, how rich, how famous they are,
they have both confidence and insecurity within them.
When people say "I'm not insecure at all"
they're all lying, or at least they're choosing to deny and overlook the insecure feelings they feel at times
but the core confidence
transcends and embraces both insecurity and confidence
Doubt, worry and fear are all parts of insecurity, right?
Core confidence accepts all of them.
So being truly confident is knowing that you are good enough yourself and your situation and
circumstances and feelings don't say everything about you nor define you.
And I think core confidence is especially important for women
because women are naturally more emotional human beings.
We naturally have more estrogen than men, we feel more and we care about more things, which are very good
but if not handled properly
that would make us more likely to feel lonely, dependent and feel that I myself am not good enough.
And it is a scientifically proven fact that women are generally more insecure than men not because men are
smarter, stronger or whatever than women
but because women have the natural ability to pay attention to many things at the same time
while men can just focus on one thing at once.
So, for example, if a guy gets a good grade or gets some compliments,
at that moment, that's enough for them to feel good about themselves and confident,
but in the same situation, women will feel proud
but since they don't focus entirely on that one achievement and are still
mindful of other parts that they feel is still missing, and that makes us more likely to experience mood swing
and get distracted by a lot of things that don't matter that much.
And a lot of women try to fill that empty void by relying on a man
who they hope would love them unconditionally,
listen to them, and protect them and understand them, and that's good
but there's also some danger in there
because let's face it, not all men are good to rely on, not all men are the best communicators and partners.
In fact, a lot of men chase women just to have temporary fun, and even if they do start a relationship,
many men can be domineering, patronizing and controlling,
because, believe it or not, that's still how a lot of men think men should be like and act like in order to keep and impress women.
And the more we let those kinds of men into our lives,
the more miserable we will feel and the lower our self-esteem get.
And ladies, what we want is not a man,
what we want is the man, right?
The one that is right for us.
So I hope many women and girls out there do not waste their heart and energy
suffering from a man that doesn't deserve you, but use that time wisely
building your own self esteem, self worth, and core confidence
which will ultimately bring you closer to the future man that will make you truly happy
and make you feel that it's safe to commit wholeheartedly to this man.
So I'm going to share with you five empowering mindsets
that will make your ladies feel more confident in any situation
and build more of your core confidence. And I'm not forcing you to change your beliefs
but I am reminding you the truth that you already know deep within you
but somehow you forgot about them as you go through ups and downs of life
and were kind of brainwashed by false beliefs imposed by the masses.
I hope you become more emboldened to live by these truths wherever you are and in whatever circumstances.
Was there any point in your life when everybody talked good things about you?
I highly doubt that, and that's not necessarily because you are imperfect
but more because it's impossible for everybody to like you.
I don't know how to explain the science or demographics behind it
but it's just how it is.
This truth might hurt and
let's be honest, it doesn't feel good when you sense that someone does not like you.
But actually there's so much freedom you can get in this truth.
If it's impossible for everybody to like you in the first place,
you don't have to be held hostage to other people's opinions and expectation of you
but be entirely yourself, even if you have flaws,
even if you have embarrassing past, or even if some people think you're weird,
and what's great about being unapologetically myself is that
it creates a powerful vibration that allows other people to feel free to be themselves as well.
Everybody is interested in themselves more than on anybody else,
not necessarily because we're all selfish and egocentric human beings, although for some people that might be the case
but more because all of us are given each of our own life to take care of.
Even if a famous celebrity did something great and gets public attention
or one of your co-workers made stupid mistake at work
we pay attention to it for like a week at best
then our attention reverts right back to where it has always been, ourselves.
Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my favorite authors put it best:
There were always things that worked for me, which when I try to explain to other people
they couldn't understand.
Something that the masses told me how things should be done did not always coincide with
what my intuition told me how things should be done, and I think we all have this experience at least once in our lives.
Something peculiar or unique about your experiences that are quite different from
what other people told you should be like.
For example, when I had job interviews in the past
everybody told me that I should talk only good things about myself and be serious all throughout the interview
but I ignored that and chose to show more of authentic and playful sides of me
because I've experienced that usually leaves better impression and makes the other person feel more comfortable talking with me
and that worked, and that's how I was able to get to work in many big companies in Korea.
And it's not because you're more special than other people, but it's because each of us has different background, upbringing, and experiences
and going through that we witnessed some things happening following a certain pattern and you are
subconsciously aware of that pattern that is not quite in line with social norms,
and that's where your intuition comes from.
So paying more attention to that inner wisdom and intuition will
make you be more upfront about your own preferences and opinions and make decisions based on your own values and priorities
and that usually produces better results than otherwise.
So let's be honest, look issues have emotional ties to women more than it does to men.
So if you watched my very first video, you know that look issue is what I have suffered quite a lot from
especially in my teenage years
even more so because I grew up in a culture where female beauty is praised, talked about, and looked up to everywhere I go,
and people explicitly treat you differently based on looks.
I myself used to consider beauty the best quality that a woman can have that can surpass anything
to the extent where when someone told me this one boy liked me, one of my instant thoughts was
"Oh, maybe he'll like my friend better when he sees her because she's a lot prettier than I am."
that's how insecure I was.
But I wish someone had told my teenage self that the importance of female beauty taught to us by mainstream
is different from how it actually is,
because then I would have approached this issue in a totally different way and not be too insecure and obsessed about my look and
learned that there are so many ways of being a confident women even if I don't have the best looks.
So I want to dig deeper about female beauty here.
I think female beauty is a very sensitive topic that not many people want to speak up about.
But I feel every time that it deserves more attention,
because it is plaguing our society in so many ways.
I think beauty is universally a highly desired quality especially for female
because of such strong impact beauty has temporarily;
it turns heads, instantly brings forth attention from men and women alike
and that's why entertainment business work.
They make money out of ads,
magazine covers that feature beautiful looking women,
and even in social media world, the more physically beautiful you are,
the more attention and followers you are likely to attract and
we can't help it because we live in a shallow society where people are visual
and people like to trigger temporary sensual pleasures.
However, because of such strong temporary impact, in real life, not on screen not on TV, but in real life
beauty is highly overrated and at the same time highly underappreciated by many people.
Think about it. So many people associate beauty with something else that is less pure
rather than appreciate as it is.
We associate a woman's beauty to getting as many guys as they want, being famous,
earning popularity, rather than seeing her as she is
and because society is so shallow and beauty has such strong psychological impact on humans,
expectation and prejudice against them are much higher and
that's the challenge that beautiful people have to face.
You see, beauty is such a desired quality because many people don't realize
what it actually is like to have a beautiful face and what is going on behind it.
When I say a beautiful face, I mean an objective beauty.
There is such as a thing as an objective beauty, an objectively beautiful face,
the kind of face that everybody agrees is beautiful; the face that babies stare at longer,
the more noticeable they are from the distance, and we just know when we see it is a beautiful face.
And science has proven that it has to do with symmetry; the more symmetrical your face is,
the more likely it is that people will think that you have a beautiful face.
So most celebrities well known for their beauty
have more symmetrical face than most people.
And I think the society will be a lot happier and healthier when all of us realize that
outer beauty is not something to be used, compared or chased after,
but rather something to be appreciated as it is.
If I had known all of these in my teenage years, I would have learned how to
accept how I look and not be too obsessed about it
and had more core confidence as a teenager because not liking my looks would not have withhold me.
I'm not saying we should stop grooming ourselves and care nothing about our outer appearance.
What I'm saying is that if you prioritize inner beauty
which I believe is an interchangeable word for core confidence,
then I believe you will naturally figure out ways to take care of your outer appearance
in a way that is in line with your inner beauty.
I am now more confident about the way I look compared to back in my teenage years,
not because I have perfect physical traits, because obviously I don't
and I know people sometimes call me a butter face behind my back,
or make fun of certain facial traits I have or how flat-chested I am,
but I accept all my physical traits that are considered "imperfections" by human standards
because I embrace my insecurities
and I now know for sure that it's not so much a beautiful face and beautiful body that make you feel beautiful
but the confidence knowing that I am good enough myself no matter what I look like however tired or awful I look sometimes,
makes me FEEL so beautiful.
Inner beauty and course confidence are important because it makes you feel beautiful more than outer beauty can,
and this is not a cliche.
Believing that everything will turn out okay makes so much difference in your life.
Oftentimes we worry too much about the future even before trying or
experiencing something new and bold that we miss so many chances to feel happy.
I'm a believer in God, I believe in the spirit greater than human beings
and at least for me, it becomes a lot easier to keep up with core confidence when I have strong faith
in the Higher Spirit that is working with me and loves me unconditionally.
And based on my experience, I can tell you for sure
that the universe compensates for what you tolerated and what you gave up in order to stick to core confidence.
It sometimes takes long time, but eventually it does,
oftentimes in an unexpected way, so you've got to trust in the universe,
the flow of nature, the higher power, God, whatever you call it,
and allow yourself to be more courageous to be yourself and
go out there and experience more because you are not alone and everything is going to be fine.
So there you go, five empowering mindsets that will make you feel more confident.
And please do me one favor.
Whether it is a man or money or fame or an item that you're chasing,
if the process of changing it is damaging your core confidence,
drop it, immediately.
And always choose to come back to your core confidence. Even if it's hard at the moment you will never regret it.
Oh, and before I finish I'm doing 1,000 subscribers giveaway soon
So please come subscribe to my channel if you haven't already which will automatically give you
qualifications to be one of the winners for the prize.
So thank you so much for everyone for supporting me and watching my videos.
I will see you on my next video very soon!
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