You scared the fudge out of me!
Oh, that's nothin'.
One time I made my friend Emily give birth.
I don't know what that means, but I hate it.
Almost as much as I hate doing my taxes.
Now, what's that you were saying about how taxes could be easy?
Well, think about it.
Taxes are a bill the government charges you,
so why do you have to do all the math? all the math?
all the math?
Imagine if we did that with any other bill.
(doorbell rings)
How much do I owe you?
You tell me.
Divide number of toppings by cheese consumption?
$12?
Wrong! Now you're goin' to jail!
Bogus.
Instead of making you fill out a complicated return,
why doesn't the government just tell you how much you owe?
Well, 'cause they need to know my income,
my interest on my savings...
all the numbers that are on those forms.
News flash! They already do.
Employers, banks, and other financial institutions
already send detailed records to the IRS.
Okay, we just got Hank's W2s and 1099s.
I could calculate his tax bill myself...
Nah, I'll just wait quietly
while he sends me the exact same information.
D'oh!
The government could quite literally
do your taxes for you.
It's an idea called return-free filing.
Instead of the government checking your work,
you'd check theirs,
and it would make taxes more like this.
Ooh, honey, our taxes came.
Oh...
Just need to deduct that work trip to Toledo and we're done!
Hey, think we have time for some wild, bedpost-rattling sex?
Why not? Our April's wide open.
Return-free filing is already used
by countries around the world
and could allow millions of Americans like you
to do your taxes for free in just five minutes.
Yeah, well, those bozos in Washington
would never go for an idea that makes that much sense.
Actually, return-free filing bills
are introduced in Congress all the time,
and both Barack Obama
and Ronald Reagan pushed for it.
Yes, we can.
Tear down this wall...
of paperwork.
(cheering and applause)
Wow... that must be the only thing those guys would agree on.
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