My name is Jordana Bragg and I identify as non-binary.
Hey I'm Chris.
I am non-binary, I use they/them pronouns or neutrals.
I'm Jesse, and I identify as a trans guy, trans man.
I'm Jem, short for Jemima.
I'm a trans woman.
My name is Nathan.
I identify as takatāpui and also tangata ira tane.
So both of those identify as takatāpui, and that encompasses not only my culture being
Māori but also being queer as well, and tangata ira tane means trans man basically in Te Reo Māori.
Kia ora, I'm Ngākauia.
I identify as a transfeminine person.
My pronouns are - I prefer feminine ones, but neutral is all good.
He/him.
Not it, which someone at work called me and that went to HR.
I was like no, no, no, I'm not an it.
Them/they, and personally I just think it's important because I think it's just pretty
base level that people should be able to have agency and autonomy around the terms that
best fit their identity.
Takatāpui kind of tends to move between different parts of New Zealand, the definition is what
I mean that tends to move, but it does tend to intertwine and for me those encompass all
those things.
I really wouldn't need to use tangata ira tane either, it's just a signifier for other
people, and a way for me to also just connect back to my culture.
Yeah, it's been interesting.
For a long time I identified as a gay man.
Not so much identified, but I just thought there was nothing else that I was.
I didn't realise it was possible to be a trans person.
Everything was so surreal because I had to question my gender, and therefore the labels
that I used to describe my attractions because I had to accept that not everybody was cis,
and so I kind of stopped being able to say that I was gay, cause I just knew that wasn't true.
That was quite easy 'cause I'm bi or pansexual, so I transitioned and I was still bi and pansexual.
So many of the words we use around sexuality involve an assumption of your gender, or some
kind of creation of gender in the first place, like gay, straight, heterosexual, homosexual.
The second that you change anything about your gender you automatically implicate your
sexuality within that straight away.
But then if you move outside the gender binary, all of a sudden you're throwing away the possibility
of using so many labels.
I do feel internally that I'm able to own my gender representation and my sexual orientation,
but a lot of the time it's sort of given to me or assumed onto me, so it makes it very
difficult to work out on my own how I do feel and there is a lot of internal discomfort
with the connection between my gender and my sexuality for that reason, and the assumptions
that are made about that.
But in saying that, I'm entirely comfortable in both, it's just the sort of societal pressures
to be a certain way or act a certain way that makes it difficult to answer that question,
at the moment.
But one day, I'll be able to be more succinct about that I'm sure.
Woah, man these questions contain ~magnitudes~!
I avoid doing things in town unless they're necessary and if I can't find someone to walk
with me to make sure that I'm safe, I will go in the most boyish clothes that I have
and I will just kind of get the job done.
I'm at a point where I feel like I'm fairly confident and relaxed and easy in public,
and I'll wear nail polish in public.
So I don't feel like I have to avoid anything feminine or people will think that I'm a woman.
I'm at that stage of being very comfortable with how I present, but definitely you're
always more self-aware and anxious than I was pre-transition, when it sort of wasn't
an issue.
Especially bathrooms.
The common theme of everybody's life unfortunately.
And then there's the bathroom thing, another gendered space.
In terms of public spaces, toilets will probably be the biggest one.
I feel like as trans people, we all know our toilets around our town, so if you've never
used one before, you're probably not likely to use that one, unless you're feeling super
courageous.
I will often wear masculine clothing over top of my feminine clothing and say that I'm
undercover femme.
My body as non-binary still sits comfortably for people under that label because it is
androgynous. There are enough tick boxes where it can still be considered beautiful by conventional
Western standards, so I don't find myself often being uncomfortable about it.
But also I do fear that's because society has such a deeply-ingrained stigma and problem
with expressions of femininity, is often where it lies.
So, as I present myself as more masculine, I'm not saying that should garner me more
"respect", but I find it makes me safer.
Well it's changing very quickly.
I came out like three years ago and it was very much on the cusp.
Like, literally, Caitlyn Jenner came out, she copied me, she came out like a week later.
But it varies, the Stats department seem to be very very very obstinate about accepting
gender diversity and accommodating it.
And I mean the Human Rights Act in its current form was enacted in 1993, we've had five rounds
of the census, plus numerous other surveys, that still don't acknowledge properly
that there's more than two genders.
I've had problems at university with being officially misgendered on everything, so it
basically means that I tend to try not to engage with any official stuff at university,
and if you don't engage with official stuff at university, you get in trouble.
Again, as a trans masc person with passing privilege, to change my name was pretty easy,
it was more the money that I had to find.
For me, actually really easy and I've been very very lucky in that respect.
A big part of it was that I was older when I transitioned, I was already in my 30s, so
for all the stuff that we had to go through, there was none of that 'oh, you're very young,
you might change your mind'.
It was like, it's been 30 years, I'm pretty sure that this is just me.
I know guys who are like five, six, eight years on T and the surgery is inaccessible
to them and it's a huge thing for them, it's really really huge and that many years binding
does real damage and it sucks.
I am so lucky and I see people who are not that lucky and don't have any access and it really sucks.
Getting on hormones was really difficult.
Like, woah.
I came out in 2015 and I didn't start them 'til 2018.
It was super hard, the endocrinologist didn't take me seriously at all.
And how are you feeling now?
So much better.
It's really changed my outlook and the way that I feel about my body.
Oh woah!
The most joy!
Ooh!
I mean, for me my gender just is joy.
It's basically being a part of a community, being a young person and not knowing who you
are, and finding out that there's this huge community behind you, backing you, loving you.
The people I meet, and the people that connect with me, they see what I'm doing, and they
feel my energy, they feel safe, curious.
That's really cool too, not to have to go 'hey, by the way, I'm trans'.
In fact, I was about 3 days into my new job and I kinda realised the word hadn't even come up.
I hadn't used it, nobody had used it.
It brings me joy to realise that I know how to make myself happy, and that if other people
see that, that in turn will allow them to access parts of themselves that can make themselves happy.
I'm happy, I like myself, it's just really cool. And I've met cool people, so it's just choice.
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