I've been talking about other youtubers
a lot lately but it's time for me to
open up and be honest about some of the
struggles that I still deal with what is
everybody this is Chris from the rewired
soul where we talk about the problem but
focus on the solution and if you're new
to my channel my channel is all about
mental health I provide information I
talk about my own mental health I I
offer advice and support and all that
kind of good stuff
so if you're into improving your mental
health make sure you subscribe and ring
that notification bell so today's
problem that we're going to talk about
is black and white thinking I have a
bunch of other videos about black and
white thinking I'll explain it a little
bit in this one but anyways I do want to
start out the video by saying this if
you want to check out the video I'm
gonna put up in the info card about my
BPD story I have never been diagnosed
with borderline personality disorder but
after talking with a psychiatrist and
things like that I can relate to a lot
of the BPD symptoms so one of the
symptoms that I have definitely dealt
with and it's still something that I
work on overcoming is black and white
thinking so my life is leaps and bounds
away from where it used to be but I
wanted to talk about like how this still
affects me and also towards the end of
the video I'm gonna tell you about some
solutions that I use that help me manage
my life and manage my emotions manage my
relationships and all that kind of stuff
so black and white thinking alright to
sum it all up basically it's putting
somebody in one of two categories
they're either all good or all bad and
it's really difficult to have
relationships because someone they could
just be the best person on earth one day
but then they do something that you
don't like and then they are just the
worst person on earth so like one of the
things is I constantly analyze myself I
edit ate meditation helps give me
clarity it helps to get out all the
noise and I take a look at myself and
what I'm feeling and the thoughts that
go through my head and everything like
that
like something that kind of thought
about was you know when it comes to like
setting boundaries black-and-white
thinking it's sometimes is very
beneficial and what I mean by that is
like it is help me not hang out with bad
people bad friends or stay in bad
relationships so like I look at myself
and I realize why I do that and I push
people away pretty quick but one of the
reasons for that is is because I'm
somebody who has stayed in bad
friendships for way too long or bad
relationships for way too long
you might be able to relate to that so
one of my fears is is letting somebody
come in close when they have all of the
red flags or warning signs and then I
get stuck in a relationship whether it's
a friendship or relationship right so
like I'm gonna be real with you
so my black and white thinking has come
a lot from being a youtuber being a
small youtuber trying to build my
channel and things like that and I've
noticed that I have a lot of
black-and-white thinking so there's that
old saying that says never meet your
heroes right and one of the reasons they
say that is because you idolize somebody
you look up to somebody and then you
meet them and they're not a great person
now they're not what you thought they
were well as a youtuber trying to grow
my channel like I interact with other
youtubers I reach out I talk to them but
sometimes I don't so I can think of two
instances of other youtubers and my I
noticed the the complete shift the
change right and here's what I mean by
that I'm not gonna name who these
youtubers are but in one scenario there
was a youtuber that I just loved I loved
it's a it's a comedy channel it's pretty
funny and things like that well they
sent out a tweet they sent out a tweet
talking about mental health and I
replied and they reply back and I kind
of noticed that they don't really align
with my views on mental health and just
I don't know advocacy helping people out
being compassionate towards others who
struggle with mental illness they're
they just didn't it didn't sync up with
me and from there like I saw it and I'm
like oh wow now I see your true
colors and and there's another instance
where you know multiple instances where
there's youtubers who I like and watch
alike if I never became a youtuber I
would look at certain youtubers and just
love them forever but now that I'm like
kind of in this thing like I can't tell
you how many youtubers who I absolutely
loved where they they never applied to a
DM comment an email or any of that thing
and like my brain just like tells me
that they're just the worst person on
earth like it's crazy and like the way
it affects me I'm not even joking is
it's difficult for me to even watch
their content okay and some of the
content is very informative
it educates me about different things
whether it's mental health stuff or
things going on in the community but now
that I kind of see them in a different
way
like I can feel my anger there as I
watch their videos some of the channels
I watched that I used to laugh and have
fun watching like I sit there and I kind
of just how there's like stinkface like
you're not a good person you're not a
good person but I recognize that
happening in my brain and it's it's kind
of nuts you know
and again like I do have some solutions
that I'm gonna provide with you but
anyways you know one of the most you
know recent forms of black and white
thinking that I can talk about is when
it came to me being single and you know
going out in the dating world so when I
was like dating you know and I was
talking to a girl or anything like that
like if they had some red flags right if
they had certain viewpoints or certain
things that they didn't like about you
know what I mean I didn't try to you
know make it work I was like nope nope
nope bye and like there's some ballast
that comes with that because yeah like
you shouldn't try to force a
relationship just because someone's
attractive or they have a few of the
same interests as you like you should
have try to force that but maybe in some
instances I was pushing women away way
too fast from one sign of you know
trouble or a little red flag anyways a
funny story about me and my girlfriend
you know
in December it'll be like two years that
we've been together but a funny story
that I talked to her about I've told
other people allowed to is with me and
her first started talking like
everything was great is that whole
honeymoon phase and all that kind of
stuff you know she's busy doing her
thing I'm busy doing my thing I have my
son on the weekends and you knows before
I let her meet my son well I think it
was like one weekend is my son stayed
with his mom let's go out let's go do
something right here's what she says to
me she's like no I'm pretty tired I'm
just gonna sleep all day
I'm just spewing all this stuff every
crazy thing that my brains telling me
right obviously she doesn't care like I
was about to never talk to her again you
see how the black-and-white thinking
could just ruin relationships right but
after talking about it with my roommate
and Sasha's like Chris you're acting a
little nuts maybe she's tired maybe this
stuff you know what I mean
I was like fine so I gave her another
chance and we're still together to this
day it was after that we made it
official started dating and stuff it's
funny because she has a similar story
where she kind of was testing me on some
things but anyways that's an example of
how my thinking can affect us anyways I
want to get into the solution right
because that's what we do here at the
rewired soul talking about the problem
we'll focus on the solution so what I do
I do two things I do two things when it
comes to my black-and-white thinking
the first one is empathize so I try my
best to put myself in the other person's
shoes so when we're talking about like
other youtubers who don't get back to me
or ignore me or you know whatever it is
like I empathize okay and sometimes and
I will make a video about this when it
comes to anger management I lie to
myself okay okay maybe have like a
thousand DMS they just didn't see it you
know and all these other things maybe
they just miss this tweet that I tagged
them in or they didn't see my comments
you know whatever it is right but I also
try to empathize because sometimes I'm
really bad and replying to all my
messages and I'm
of the size of some of the people I'm
trying to reach out to and talk to you
know just to get to know or collaborate
or things like that so that's one way
that I try to get out of my black and
white thinking is I try to put myself in
their shoes and imagine what might be
going on in their lives that would cause
them not to talk to me but not that
negative kind of crazy stuff like oh
they hate me or they're better than me
like I try to acknowledge if my brains
going to that judgmental place the
second thing I do is I try to find a
balance okay I try to find that gray
area rather than the black and white and
what I mean by that right my black and
white thinking will we'll make it so
people have like one strike in their out
okay so I do my best to give somebody
another chance another chance but it's
all about balance because there's that
there is that other saying right fool me
once shame on you fool me twice shame on
me you know but when it comes that
balance what happens is I lower my
expectations I lower my expectations
where it's like I don't expect you to
apply but if you do that's cool you know
and that's that's for me personally like
this might be an awful person who thinks
they're better than me or doesn't care
about small creators and it's only gonna
talk to me when I get huge and can
benefit them more that might be the case
but for my sanity for my mental health I
have to tone it down and not stay stuck
in that thinking all right so I really
hope this video helped you whether it's
helping you understand black and white
thinking a little bit more or if you're
somebody who struggles with black and
white thinking I hope some of my
suggestions help you out all right
but if you want somebody who struggles
with black and white thinking make sure
you leave comments down below like let's
let's make the comment section like how
do you deal with it how do you cope with
it what are your tips and tricks to
dealing with black and white thinking
all right I can't wait to see what you
guys say down in the comments but before
in this video see this cool shirt it's
actually available in the shop right now
the rewired soul shop alright so make
sure you go check it out if you want to
be twinsies with me
get yourself a rewired soul show and I
also got a bunch of other shirt designs
in there as well as some coffee mugs so
if you're a coffee drinker check those
out if you like this video please give
it a thumbs up and if you're new to this
channel make sure you subscribe ring
that notification bell because I got all
sorts of mental health goodness on here
and huge huge huge thank you to
everybody supporting the channel over on
patreon and if you're looking for that
link to the rewired soul shop boom it's
right there for you alright thanks so
much for watching
work on your black and white thinking
and I'll see you next time
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