2017 is almost upon us and rather than reflect on the events of 2016, a year of medical tyranny
and government overreach, I thought it might be fun to take a look forward into this coming
year and make some predictions as to what might transpire.
I will be wrong on some of these no doubt, but perhaps I'll get a few right.
OK, without any further adew, to you and you and you, here are my Top 10 Ultimate Anti-Vaxxer
predictions for the year 2017.
#10- Medicare will mandate protection zones around hospital emergency rooms and require
flu shots to be administered in the ambulance before trauma victims are allowed into the
hospital.
Walk in patients will be kept outside the hospital and will be delivered self-administered
flu shot packs via drone.
Those requiring overnight hospital stays will be given Influenza Vaccine IV drips to ensure
their health, and the herd's during their visit.
Doctors and nurses who abstain from the flu shots will be placed in plastic bubbles and
allowed to play soccer in the parking lot.
#9- Increasingly frustrated pediatricians will begin to fire patients for skipping vaccinations,
not fully completing their prescribed course of antibiotics, and not saying "Ahhh" loud
enough when asked.
Also for looking them in the eye.
Never do that.
It's not safe.
#8- As Californians continue their pursuit of protecting families from
fascist politicians intent upon pharmaceutical control of every boy and girl in the land,
Senator Richard Pan will start a new Couch to 5K program to improve his odds of outrunning
the tireless parents.
#7- After thousands of Mumps outbreaks around the country, the ineffective Mumps vaccine
will finally be withdrawn from the shelves due to pressure from public health officials.
Excuse me, it will actually be withdrawn because of educated, affluent anti-vaxxers who got
neither Mumps or the vaccine.
They're the ones that made the vaccine not work.
The Mumps component of the MMR vaccine will be removed, replaced with Gardasil and rebranded
as Water.
#6- The Zika epidemic will be declared to be over.
Credited with this public health success will be multiple Zika unlicensed vaccines currently
still in development around the world.
The Zika vaccine will never the less be added to the CDC mandatory vaccine schedule and
the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation will donate $200 million to the administration of Zika
vaccine to India and Pakistan.
#5- A Zika epidemic will be announced in India and Pakistan.
#4- Increasing numbers of Pertussis/Whooping Cough outbreaks will occur due to an ineffective
Pertussis vaccine.
CDC officials will respond by announcing new measures to protect the young, including having
immediate family members, pets, that dude across the street and all of your Ikea furniture
vaccinated for Whooping Cough.
Babies will also need to be hermetically sealed in a portable Pak & Play.
The Pak & Play will also need to receive the DTaP shot.
Weekly.
#3- Several schools in California, Mississippi and West Virginia add Zika, Ebola, Gardasil,
Pink Eye and Cooties to their mandatory vaccine lists.
School teachers rejoice as public school class sizes plummet.
There will still be no vaccine requirements for cafeteria lunch workers, custodians, teachers,
administration or the school nurse.
#2- Philadelphia based Paul Offit to move to California as he's named head of the California
State Vaccine Police.
In a surprise marketing move, and to calm the nerves of vaccine-hesitant parents across
California, Offit will launch a children television show called "Get the [Censored] Out of My Face".
#1- British journalist Brian Deer's career takes a peculiar turn as he dedicates his
life to helping children through a new TV show called Brian'll Fix It, and renames himself
"Dr. Magic".
There you have it folks, that is my Ultimate Top Ten List of Anti-Vaxxer predictions for
2017.
What do you think will happen in the coming year?
I'd love to hear your thoughts- maybe you disagree, but I think we can all agree Big
Pharma will be richer and we'll all be sicker than last year.
And that is my incredible opinion.
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