ZACHARY: Hello, hello, hello.
(♪ Music plays in the background ♪). I'm author and entrepreneur, the cerebral palsy
vigilante Zachary Fenell.
Today I am continuing my series where I am bringing you face to face with individuals
I've mentioned in (blender noises heard in background) my cerebral palsy memoir Off Balanced.
To date you've met my friends and family.
Today you get to meet one of my past teachers.
Please welcome Mr. Adam Swirsky.
ADAM: Hello out there.
ZACHARY: Thank you for ah joining me.
ADAM: I'm very excited.
I, I very rarely get to ah see my students later as they, you know as they get older
and get into their lives.
It is always nice to see the impact so thank you
ZACHARY: Awesome ADAM: for the opportunity.
ZACHARY: I'm glad we're, you're excited, I'm excited.
I'm glad we got this together. And
First I you know and I mention in Off Balanced ah if I did like a really, if I did a pop quiz
out there for everyone.
What chapter did I mention Mr. Swirsky in?
Ah I'm not sure how many of you would remember but it's chapter five, "An Emergence."
And one of the things I mention about you is I was the only, you would joke with me
that I was the only student to get your jokes.
So its been 12 years since I graduated.
Wow!
Ah, have you found any more students to get your jokes?
ADAM: Ah, well see I'm going to say it is because of your great intelligence since I'm
going to flatter you as ah I'm coming to your show here but um you know every so often someone
sitting in the back kind of laughing a little bit. And
I think they're getting them but you don't always know.
You know I've had to make them simpler now.
It's more your momma jokes than the real deep ones you would pick up on so.
ZACHARY: Ah, that's ah, I'm intrigued now.
I want to hear some of those your momma jokes.
I might have to just sit in one of your classes.
Are you still on the first floor?
Can I just peak out the window and creep around?
ADAM: Unfortunately at Brush first floor is second floor so that would be a little tough.
ZACHARY: (Laughs) ADAM: You know basically just think of metaphors
and similes ZACHARY: Yeah
ADAM: And how a your momma joke would apply to that so.
ZACHARY: Very, very good.
You know but you know speaking of being (phone rings in the background) in class, ah you
know for me getting, becoming an author, getting into writing, a lot of that I actually cre,
actually goes back to something you said.
I had for those of you who obviously don't know I had um Adam for ah freshman, sophomore
year of English in high school.
And freshman year he would always tout about how and this is mentioned in my book so if you've
read it you would know.
Um he always mentioned that he, that you know its not easy to ace his class and I was one
of the students who got an A so that was something that stayed with me as I was deciding where,
where I was going in life.
That kind of helped build my foundation to become a writer and so those words which I'm
sure I don't know if you probably for you it was something you said in the class, had
a profound impact on me.
How often do you think about the impact your words are having on the students in your classroom?
ADAM: Well first of all I would say its not easy to get an F or an A. Those are the two
hardest grades to get and I was always glad when students (car horn blows) would step
up to the challenge of the A rather try not you know
ZACHARY: To fail ADAM: to fail and try to prove me wrong
ZACHARY: I got a D! (laughs) ADAM: Believe me.
I've had them try to fail.
Ah but you know that's, that's the difficult part with being a teacher.
You know if you're a doctor you can see the body healing or if you're a lawyer, you see
the case ending.
If you're a chef, you can see the food prepared, ah etcetera for all professions but I think
as a teacher what makes it very challenging is you ne, you don't really get to see the
impact of your words.
You just get bored teenagers trying to check their phones now and pretend, put their heads
down pretending and "I'm listening."
But um it is something that um I'm hoping is happening and in fact I have all my students
write a letter to me at the end of the year just to kind of see their impression of what
they think.
In fact I start all my classes now with a quote of the day where I take a quote from
a famous person and we discuss it as a class for about five to 10 minutes and I always
have the "Ugh" from the teenage response, have this going on checking their phones,
um but it was funny I would say probably 75% of students said how much they liked it and
appreciated the wisdom I was sharing with them but they would never admit that to in
any other forum so um it is something I am, something I try to take to heart and um our
experience here has helped me see that does exist so it is a nice thing to know.
ZACHARY: I'm glad.
I'm glad.
And you know its funny because as you were talking I was thinking back to well you coached
my older brother Bill.
ADAM: Billy!
ZACHARY: in wrestling for a little bit.
(chuckles) and ah he for a little bit because he decided that wrestling wasn't something
he wanted to pursue afterwards even though ADAM: And your younger brother too.
ZACHARY: Ah yeah, and my younger brother as well (entrance alarm sounds).
He was somebody.
He, this is just a fun fact.
He won his first wrestling match and after then the next day he went into the coach and
quit because he so he has having trouble winning that you know getting that first victory and
then he got it and he decided to end his wrestling career on a positive note (chuckles).
And so and that's just, that's just encouragement out there.
Just I wasn't planning on getting into this but that was just some encouragement out there
that you know if you feel like you are struggling with something and you are not able to get
something done, that it's just keep working at it and um and you know persevere.
But getting back to what I did plan to talk about, as I mentioned with Bill, I wasn't
necessarily planning to talk about him but something you were saying reminds me of teenagers
are difficult I'm sure because you know like I even remember when I was younger and noticing
my older brother interact with some of my cousins and its like he would play stupid
sometimes because it is not cool to be smart.
ADAM: Are you sure he was playing?
ZACHARY: (Laughs) ADAM: I'm just kidding.
Sorry Bill.
That's for quitting!
ZACHARY: (Laughs) There you go.
The revenge (chuckles) but he ah you know its, its just not the cool thing to you know
to show enthusiasm for schoolwork or really this gets into life in general.
A lot of times people feel pressured to be like everyone else (entrance alarm sounds
again).
I know I was that way in high school.
I just wanted to blend in and I've come to realize that blending in is boring and you
should really blend out.
Everyone and this is a message I hope people get from watching my videos is and reading
my blog content, whatever I put out there you know one of the messages I hope you get
is everyone has their differences.
And its about embracing those and not being embarrassed about it.
And Mr., Adam I, I think back to a lesson you gave us in um English class I don't know
if it was my freshman year or sophomore year but Adam had written a poem that he tol, he
read it out to the class.
He told us the author was unknown and wanted our honest feedback on it.
And a lot of kids in the classroom were ripping it apart and I probably cracked a joke at
it too and then he said "By the way I wrote this."
And so I feel like that, that kind of you seemed to even back then like you always seemed
to have kind of like that confidence in who you were and would you say my assessment is
correct and what advice would you give to others watching this who are (entrance alarm
sounds) having a hard time ah just being, being able to embrace who they are?
ADAM: You know I, I think it is really funny you say that because um probably if you see
me in my non-professional persona versus my professional persona you would be shocked
to see I am more of a, kind of a sit back and watch kind of person rather than the active
person but when I get in front of a classroom um something in the back of my brain kicks
in and I don't know if it is an autopilot I'm not really sure what it is but um the
confidence I am showing there really isn't the same as I am living my life (background
chatter can be heard in the front of the coffee shop) but on one hand I'm very comfortable
in front of the classroom and I'm very outgoing.
I'm very um outspoken.
Um actually the whole time I am in school but as soon as I get home I'm like okay I
don't want to talk to anybody.
I would rather you know kind of sit back and watch everything else going on around the
room and if I'm in a group of people, then actually there. So
I guess what I'm saying is if you find something that you enjoy and realize the world doesn't necessarily
see you the same way you see yourself.
And I think that is important to realize because the more I talk to people and I think that's
the thing about being a teacher where you know the, everybody in every different group.
You know the jocks.
You know the popular kids.
You know the ones who see themselves as nerdy or outcasts or, or whatever group and everybody
has the same insecurities.
Everybody has the same doubts.
They just hide it in different ways.
And I think if you look at what makes you special as a person other people see that
as well and I do think that makes a big difference.
Um you know its, I can't tell you that enough because we just in fact I gave my daughter
this little box that says there is something special inside and its got a little mirror
so when she opens it up she sees herself.
And actually my mom gave that to me and I passed it on to her.
And I think that is something to remember though.
Um there is something unique about all of us and if you appreciate it in yourself, others
tend to appreciate it as well.
ZACHARY: Yeah.
And to go off that I think from my experiences of having cerebral palsy I feel like the opposite
holds true too.
If you're, if you let whatever, what makes you special, if you look at that negatively
and you take that and you and you and you view it negatively and you make it an obstacle,
other people in life are going to make it an obstacle as well.
Where you know for example ah when you had me in class I was still recovering from my
surgery so I was getting out from my, I was getting out of classes five minutes, five
minutes early so I could get to my next class.
That's something, an accommodation I wouldn't have been something I wanted to talk about
at the time with any other students and so you know there it becomes this obstacle where
it really didn't have to be where if I was more open about it and someone asked me "Why
do you get to leave class five minutes early?" or whatever there is no kind of weird unknown
and ah its also interesting to know, I've always I can't say I've always pictured this
but as you were talking I just had to ah smile because I imagin, I pictured you on your,
your, your dining room table, jumping on your dining room table to get your kids' attention
to do their chores (chuckles) but so now I know you, you just save that for the furniture
at the, at the high school and its not something you do with your kids at home.
ADAM: No.
They think I'm just quiet.
ZACHARY: (Laughs) ADAM: Um in fact I should say this too.
If you did tell like other kids you would've been the most popular kid in school because
you could of taken a friend to carry your books.
ZACHARY: Yes.
ADAM: Whether you needed it or not.
Anyone would've been your friend.
Um but you know what and I, I wanted to actually build off what you said.
Um, my, my hidden thing is I'm dyslexic.
And school was always very challenging for me.
Um where I knew I was smart but I couldn't apply it and it was funny when I went away
to college I got much better grades because I got into the field of advertising.
So I was an advertising major.
And what always made me struggle in school was I would approach a problem.
Most people like get the math problem and go right at it like this but because of my
dyslexia I would come all the way around from the back side to answer that question, whether,
in everything that way.
(Other conversation heard in background) which was always a disadvantage because I wasn't
thinking like everybody else around me.
When I was an advertising major suddenly I was a rock star because everybody was solving
the ad problem this way and I'm coming from this totally weird spot and everyone was like
"Wow!
How would you think of that?"
I'm like "That's just how I think."
Um and so I think you know once I learned to embrace that I just see the world a little
differently its an advantage not to come up with the same answer all the time.
ZACHARY: That's awesome.
I'm glad you brought that up because that is you know I had, I had done one of these
videos with a friend, ah my friend Mike who has ADHD and we kind of talk about, he had
a one hea, an interesting journey for him. When
He graduated, he is from another, he wasn't, I met him in college and he graduated around
the same time as me from high school, the high school he went to but in college he ended
up taking, it took him eight years because he was just ah there was some financial reasons in there
but then just some you know struggles with academics and it, it just whether it's dyslexia,
whether it's ADHD, cerebral palsy, there is always something out there I feel that is
going to like you know we're all more I think its kind of ironic but I think we are, we
are a lot more similar than everyone realizes when you realize that we are all different
and so that's the take I've been taking with it and I think um from what you said too it
is really whatever you feel like might be a disadvantage for you, for you out there
watching right now it really can once you find your niche it turns into an advantage.
Um and ah yeah the only other thing I was going to say (other conversation heard in the background) is well that's, do you have any other
comments?
Anything you would like to add, um mention anything you had in mind when I asked you
to do this video that you wanted to mention or not?
ADAM: No I was just very excited to come in and share, share this experience with you.
I'm very proud of the journey you've taken.
In all seriousness I think it is a journey that um I think is wonderful to share.
You know I do know it was difficult when you were in school because people would see you
differently.
In fact what he did leave off was he would come in the room and I would go "FENELL" with
this hatred (entrance bell goes off) and everyone was like "How could you be mean to this kid?
This poor kid has cerebral palsy.
And you're like growling at him."
I was like "I don't care."
And you know ZACHARY: (Laughing) It was one of those jokes
nobody else got.
They're like "He's being mean" and I'm like, I saw right through it and it was
ADAM: But what was the effect it had on the other kids in the class?
ZACHARY: It um, it loosened them up so ADAM: Yeah.
It made him a part of the class.
And I think sometimes we get so you know worried about how we're going to respond.
You know in fact the other joke we would always do is I would say "Fenell, are we going to
have homework tonight?"
And he'd go "Yep.
We are going to do three questions on blah blah blah" and they'd go "Why would you do
that?!" and he would look at them and go "You knew he was going to do it anyways.
Why?"
And they would go "Yeah, we know he was going to do it."
ZACHARY: (Laughs) ADAM: Um but I think we should also embrace
who we are and I think you've done that um even back then, even though it was very uncomfortable,
I think it, it took you to a better place to be able to do that.
ZACHARY: Thanks.
That's means a lot.
Like it's really cool to hear that coming from you because you know obviously that's
one of the other things I've learned in writing Off Balanced was I know my perspective and
how I perceived myself during those years and that actually ended up being positive
for me because now I'm at a point where I'm not worried about making a fool of myself
because I feel like for 18 years I didn't, I missed out on a lot because I was that quiet
person who didn't want to ah who felt uncomfortable approaching anyone so like I could go on,
we could probably go on and talk for hours.
So I should probably but a perfect example, a quick perfect example was a couple of weeks
ago I was, I actually partook in a 5k at my old high school and there before the race
I was looking over at this one guy who looked similar to at least to my memory looked similar
to my fifth grade English teacher, or fifth grade teacher Mr. Swirs ah Mr. Englander ah
and so I was looking over at him and I was looking over at him and finally I'm just like
you know what?
I'm going to go over and ask if he is Mr. Englander.
And the guy and I'm like "Mr. Englander?"
And he goes, he goes "What's that?"
I go "Mr. Englander?"
No, he goes "Oh no."
And I'm like "You look like my fifth grade, you look like one of my old fifth grade teachers.
One of my fifth grade teachers."
I'm sure you guys don't like being called old teachers.
(chuckles) ADAM: Eh, you know what?
It's starting to fit so ZACHARY: (Laughs)
ADAM: It's a part of being a teacher I guess.
ZACHARY: But yeah with, you know, its afterwards I walked away instead of feeling like "Oh
man, I made a fool of myself."
I felt like "At least I know."
Because guess what?
If that would've him, Mr. Englander, and I didn't um go over there and ah, didn't go
over there and talk to him I would've, I know I would've kicked myself for not going over
and asking in the first place so it's kind of what I feel like my extreme internalization
that I had of myself in those years I mention in Off Balanced I had kind of blossomed to
a point where it is just like I hit that wall where now I'm just like so outgoing because
I'm comp, I'm making up for those lost moments.
Those lost opportunities and ah yeah enough about me
ADAM: Well I also think it makes the world a funner place because, because so what?
Believe me I have the same fear.
You know when you walk up and make a fool of yourself but the truth is who cares?
Um, now if I could do that at home as well as with work it would be great but that's
life.
ZACHARY: And I think that's actually a great ending point is for us.
So if you're out there and you're watching this and there's got to be something on your
mind right now where you're kind of apprehensive about.
Whether it is asking somebody out or it's just you know a fear of the admitting to a
certain issue with someone, whatever the case may be, just think about like, just think
about you know you are always thinking what if this what if this doesn't work out.
You know so what if it doesn't?
Let's leave it at that.
Let's end that at so what?
And you know try anyways.
Um, yes and so the final thing we'll do is once this is published and up maybe we'll
test Adam's ah advertising and see if he can maybe get this, get this the highest, the highest
viewed video of mine.
(chuckles) ADAM: I know my wife will watch it.
Love you sweetie!
Hi kids.
ZACHARY: (laughs) Alright, thanks again for joining me.
ADAM: My pleasure.
ZACHARY: Alright.
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