- [Announcer] The following program
was paid for by the friends and partners
of Kyle Winkler Ministries.
- God restored my years.
And he'll do the same for you.
You do not have to finish or continue your life
how you started.
You don't have to continue that way.
God will restore your years.
(uplifting music)
One of the greatest obstacles that people face
is people.
How many of you would say that
you've had or have had some people problems,
or some of you are afraid to raise your hand
because your people problems are sitting next to you.
And before we giggle too much,
some of you are the people problems, by the way.
But, it's unfortunate how much people,
fear of people, can do.
We are afraid to go to certain churches
because what will our family think?
We're afraid to voice opinions,
because what will my friends think,
what will my coworkers think?
We're afraid to be seen with those people
because what will these people think.
It's really pathetic how much we allow people
to dictate so much of our lives.
But I understand it, I get it.
You know, because of a lot of the issues
that I've told you about.
A lot of the rejection issues and the insecurities
and the shyness that I had in my youth.
All it really boiled down to was a fear of people.
I was afraid of what people would say about me,
or what they did say about me.
I was afraid of what they think
and how they would react to me.
So I held myself back
in so many circumstances.
And it really became a lens through which I saw
my everyday life and really shackled me in so many ways.
But, as I got old enough to finally have
a little bit of control over my life,
I decided that I was going to show them.
I was gonna prove to all those people
that said all of those things about me,
that I could achieve and I could succeed
and I could accomplish something.
And so the problem is, is whenever your acceptance
is based upon accomplishment or achievement,
that means that when something goes wrong
or if you make a mistake or something fails,
then that's the basis of what you think
is your rejection, as well.
And so what happened is, I kind of developed
this strange sort of perfectionism, where,
if the words didn't all just come out
of my mouth just right, or somebody would say something
that was a disagreement or I would fail
or make a mistake in some sort of way.
Then that could be a deep personal hit to me,
that I would just let linger around and beat me up
for the next few weeks over the thing.
But finally, God showed me something.
You know, he showed me that all of that
was rooted in a fear of people,
and he showed me how to get over it.
And it was a biblical principle that really,
when I look back at most of my life, it has been in effect,
but I finally learned how to activate it in my life.
And when I did, it really broke the bondage
of trying to please people
and find my acceptance and worth in them.
And in Psalm 135:14.
And here's what it says.
"For the Lord will vindicate his people,
"and have compassion on his servants."
David in Psalm four said, Oh God, you are my vindicator!
So throughout the Bible there's this concept
that God is our vindicator.
And maybe you're not familiar with that word, vindicate.
Some other translations use a little bit more
of a modern word, but I like that word vindicate,
because it says a lot.
Vindicate means to show something
right, reasonable or accepted.
And maybe you've heard of it.
It's often used in legal terms,
where if, somebody is charged with a crime,
but evidence comes forth that shows that they're innocent,
then they have been vindicated.
Or if somebody's opinions were criticized,
but events come forth that show
that their opinions were right,
then they have been vindicated.
And so as I said, the Bible says that God is our vindicator.
He's the one that shows us right, reasonable or accepted.
But the problems that we get into too often,
and what causes a lot of our people problems
is that we try to vindicate ourselves.
We strive and strive so hard to make people like us,
to get people to accept us, to get people to support us,
to get people to understand us.
And I know that was so much stress in my life,
trying and striving so hard
to get people to think good about me and like me
and all of those things that I mentioned.
And so finally, when I finally got this concept,
that God is my vindicator, I understood
that it was not my job to win the approval of other people.
It gave me freedom from the constant striving
and the energy that it spent trying
to be all things to all people.
The exhaustion of getting people to like me.
And from holding myself back in fear of what
other people would think.
So as I said, this principle was really at work
in so much of my life and I just wanna share some stories.
Some things about how God's vindication
has been at work in my life.
And I don't just share these again just to talk about me,
but really hopefully that you can learn some things
from the pain that I've been through,
and from the mistakes that I've made.
So, the first thing I want you to understand
about God's vindication, is that God's vindication
causes people to like you.
Because of the rejection issues in my past,
I was just determined that people just didn't like me.
And so, maybe you've seen me preach
with my rejection glasses on before, but it was like a lens.
Why I saw my everyday life through,
I am a reject, this is how people are going to react to me.
And so, even in my adult life,
if I would go to a party or some social gathering,
and I would see people laughing in the corner of the room
when I came in, I automatically just thought,
well, they must be laughing at me
because that's what people have always done.
That's what they continue to do.
And so, I was afraid, and hated to go to social situations,
because I thought, my default position
is people don't like me, and I'm just gonna have to work
so hard to get people to like me.
And the devil told me, you'll always be
who you've always been.
But throughout my Christian life,
I've had some great teaching on how to use God's word
and how to apply God's word
to change my thinking, to renew my mind,
to understand what God says about me.
So, over time, not overnight,
but when I finally started to apply these truths in my life,
then God's voice was what started to determine
my behaviors and set my destiny.
And the devil's voice started to lose the influence.
And so I grew in boldness and I grew in confidence,
and I grew in all the things that help me be now
and do what I do today.
And so now we fast forward
and I get healed of a bunch of things
and I'm working through a bunch of things.
And I'm stepping into ministry now,
and speaking engagements start to happen,
and I've gotten media appearances that I'm going to.
And I'm flying across the country at times.
And I start to tell one of my friends about where I'm going.
And some of the people and friends
that I'm gonna be meeting there.
And when I told my friend about some of these people,
my friend replied something
that was really surprising to me,
it really took me off guard.
And they said, Kyle, you've got friends everywhere you go.
And I paused for a minute, and then you know what?
I praised God.
Because I didn't even realize it.
But in the process of doing
what doing what God had called me to do,
God had completely changed my situation around.
And as I said, I didn't even know.
And he reminded me of that promise
that he gave his people in Joel 2:25.
He said, "I will restore to you the years
"that the swarming locust have eaten."
He took what was one of my greatest insecurities,
no friends or few friends,
and he turned into one of my greatest blessings.
Because it's true, half the places I go now, it seems like,
I can call somebody up and say,
hey I'm gonna be in your area, let's have lunch or dinner.
God restored my years.
And he'll do the same for you.
You do not have to finish
or continue your life how you started.
You might have started out as a reject,
insecure, shy, abused, a victim,
but you don't have to continue that way.
God will restore your years.
And as I realized in my life,
it was as I was being obedient
to the call of God in my life,
as I was about the purpose that God had for me.
That God brought people around me
to support me and encourage me
and keep me accountable.
And that's part of what he does as provider.
You know, God just doesn't always provide in financial ways,
I think that's often what we think.
But God also provides with relationships,
to bring the people that you need to help you
in your life.
And that's what he did with Jesus.
Luke 2:52,
says that "as Jesus was growing, He grew in wisdom
"and stature and favor with God and with people."
Now, let me give you this disclaimer here, okay?
I am not saying that everybody's gonna like you.
Not everybody liked Jesus.
As a matter of fact, the majority of people
didn't all like Jesus.
The majority of people crucified Jesus.
So the majority of people,
no matter how great of a person you are,
might not like you.
Some people, it won't even matter!
They won't even hardly see you,
and they'll just automatically determine
that they don't like you.
But God brought relationships around Jesus,
a close circle to help Him
and help later advance His message.
And God will do the same thing for you.
He'll bring the right people around.
And so if there's an opportunity that you have,
or there's a job that you have or something
that God is calling you into,
you can go into that without fear
of what people are gonna think.
You can go into that not being afraid as,
oh, I gotta change my personality,
and I gotta change this about me so that they'll like me.
No, if God has called you into that situation,
then in a supernatural way,
God's gonna bring the right people,
and he's gonna give you favor with the right people,
so that you can go in there
and be accepted and approved and liked.
The second thing that God's vindication does,
is it causes people to understand you.
One of the greatest challenges of my early
Christian ministry years, at least,
was when God had called me to leave a job
I had at a huge church in south Florida,
to come up to north Florida to help a ministry
that was very impactful to my early Christian years
and was once thriving.
But because of a bunch of just horrible things,
just really was almost burned to the ground.
And so, what that meant was that
I was leaving a place that I loved.
I was leaving friends that were close to me.
I was taking a pay cut, I was losing my benefits.
I was going to a place eight hours up the road
where I hardly knew anybody.
And when I told my friends about it,
I got zero support.
And I get it, they didn't wanna see me go, I understand.
But they started whispering to everybody,
oh Kyle's not hearing from God,
oh you guys need to pray for Kyle
because he's hearing from the devil.
And that really just infuriated me.
And then they sicced the pastor on me.
And the pastor called me into his office
after a service one time, and he said,
I hear you're leaving, but I feel like God
has plans for you here.
And I don't know if you're hearing from God.
But this was one of those rare situations
where I pretty well almost 100% knew that this was God.
I mean, I knew that I knew that I knew this
was kind of what I was supposed to do.
And so I told the pastor, you know,
I understand, I appreciate and respect
what you're saying here, but,
I know this is God and this is what I have to do.
And then when I finally mustered up
the courage to tell my family,
well they hung up the phone on me
and stopped talking to me for a month.
That's what they thought about it.
And so nobody was supportive.
And so let me tell you, what happens in moments like that,
when you know that God has called you to something,
and you have heard from God and you have had visions,
the temptation is for you to want to vindicate yourself.
And for you to try and tell them every which way
that God has told you that this is the right thing to do.
Every which vision you've had,
every which word you've gotten.
And that's what I did.
I shoved it down their throat.
And you know what it only did?
It only made things a whole lot worse.
They only told more rumors and whispered all the more
about how Kyle's hearing from the devil.
Listen.
When God gives you words and visions in your private time,
they often need to stay in that private time
for a while, if not forever.
You do not need to go telling everybody
about every angelic visit that you've had,
or every audible word from the Lord that you've heard.
Because most people are gonna wanna
check you into a mental ward.
They can't understand it, they didn't see it or hear it.
God does not give you words and visions
so that you can go vindicating yourself
and defending yourself and proving
why you're right and they're wrong.
No.
He speaks to you to encourage you and to equip you,
and to challenge you and to spur you forward.
Not so that you can go vindicating yourself.
And so when I finally shut my mouth,
God started to do the talking.
And He did the talking in His own supernatural way.
Just a week before I was ready to move up,
a friend of mine that was extra skeptical at the time,
and we're all good now, so everything's okay with them,
we're great friends.
But, this person was extra skeptical.
And she came to me and she said,
Kyle, God gave me a dream and a word for you in the dream.
And I'm thinking, oh boy, what is this gonna be?
And she said, you can interpret this yourself,
but God says, tell Kyle it's time to go.
And I'm like, uh, yeah, that's what I've been saying
for the last three months, thank you very much.
It's time to go.
And then when I went back home to my family
to tie up some loose ends before I finally made the move,
my family apologized.
So, I couldn't have done those things on my own.
No words that I had said, no actions, persuasion
or convincing that I could've done,
could have done any of that.
God did the vindication His own supernatural way,
and at the right timing.
So, is there something in your life
that God has asked you to do that nobody understands?
A task that God has asked you to do that nobody understands?
Well, welcome to the life of those who are called by God.
I wish I had better news for you.
But really, that's just the reality.
People didn't believe Noah
when he was building that big boat.
People didn't believe Mary
that she had conceived the Son of God.
Nothing that they could have said,
would have proven themselves
or proven their case to other people.
But in the right timing, God brought the vindication.
And so if God is the one that spoke to you,
if He's the one that called you
and asked you to do what you're doing,
then God will do the vindication.
You might just need to shut your mouth
and let God do the convincing in His own timing.
And the third thing that God's vindication does,
is God's vindication causes people to support you.
The greatest distress
of my Christian life, especially the early Christian life,
was my family's reaction to my born again
experience at 16 years old.
And just to give you a little bit of a back story,
so you know where I came from,
I was raised in a very devout denominational tradition.
And I am not overestimating that, okay?
I went to all the schools, we didn't miss a religious event,
I mean, we were there.
And in a town in southern Missouri that is known
for being a stronghold for this denomination,
in fact, part of its establishment
was to be a seminary for religious leaders.
And so it was very taboo to leave
that tradition at that time.
And so some friends of mine, 'cause I had switched
to the public school for high school,
and some friends of mine at the public school
had invited me to a youth group event on a Wednesday night
at a Spirit filled church about 20 miles away
across the river into southern Illinois.
And when I went there, I mean, it was everything
I never knew that I wanted.
Everything I never knew even existed.
But I instantly loved it.
You know, some people need a warm-up period
for something like that, or a church like that,
but not me.
I mean, I wanted it all.
It was vibrant, it was alive.
And I thought I was gonna go home that Wednesday night
and I was gonna go tell my parents
and we were all gonna have a party
that Kyle wants to grow in the faith.
But they rained on my parade that day.
And they were worried about what I was getting into,
and it really started a number of years of hostility.
As I was overzealous, and I thought it would be
a good idea to show them everything that they were wrong in.
And they wouldn't let me go to the church
I wanted to go to on Sunday mornings,
I still had to go to their church,
and I didn't wanna be at that church.
And so, I wanted to make it known
that I didn't wanna be there.
And so, I found this t-shirt on the internet
that I decided I'm gonna wear this in the communion line.
Because it's gonna make a statement.
And it said, worship God, not your man-made denomination.
And I had great posture that day,
I made sure that everybody could see it.
But surprise, surprise.
It didn't do me any favors in the family.
And then, at kind of a climatic moment,
when everything came to a head,
I was invited by the church I wanted to be in
by that youth group, to be in leadership.
But that was gonna mean more time over there,
and so I had to get parental approval.
And so everything kind of hit the fan at that point.
And,
I mouthed off and I said, you know what?
If Jesus were still alive today,
you would be the very ones that would yell, crucify Him.
Some of you just lost respect for me there, I'm sure.
But I've changed, okay?
I've mellowed out a little bit.
But, the Bible says that a word
spoken in anger stirs up wrath.
That one stirred up some wrath that day.
And it provoked a phone call with the youth leaders
and just really was a mess.
But you know, it did actually, believe it or not,
start to change some things.
And now much time goes on,
and 10 years later, fast forwarding, I'm in seminary,
and I remember overhearing some classmates
talk about how their family was just so happy
that they're in seminary, and they're following
in the footsteps of their parents.
And they're from this long line of preachers,
and I'm like, oh good for you.
Meanwhile, I'm starting to feel very unsupported
and alone in this because the only thing that I got
when I announced I was going to seminary was,
well what can you do with that degree?
That's a lot of money to do what with?
And at that point, it wasn't that they were against me,
it's just that they didn't understand.
But God started to show me something.
He started to show me how to communicate with my family.
And He used the words of Paul,
when Paul was speaking to the Greeks at Athens, unbelievers,
in Acts 17:28, listen to this.
Paul says, "For in Him we live and move and exist.
"As some of your own poets have said, we are His offspring."
Do you see what Paul did there?
You see?
He found a shared truth
and he used the words of their respected leaders
to talk about that shared truth.
And then he expounded upon that truth
into a greater truth.
And so, I began to change how I talked to my family.
Instead of always going at them with,
you're wrong about this and you're wrong about this,
and you're wrong about this,
I thought, maybe there's something that they're right about.
Maybe there's a shared truth, and I could use the words
of their respected leaders
to share that truth and then expound upon a greater truth.
And so I had to change my approach,
and sometimes we have to do that.
Sometimes we have to humble ourselves
and change how we talk and react to the people.
But when I did, then it opened them up
to experience God for themselves,
to have their own relationship with God.
And I am happy to say that today that they are
some of my greatest supporters.
They read my books, they come to my speaking engagements,
they share my stuff.
But it wasn't until, again, I shut my mouth.
You know, that's kind of a common theme
I hope that you're seeing throughout this message.
It was when I shut my mouth
that God then started to do the talking,
and they started to see the fruits of God
in my life even, as well.
And that they came to their own encounters
and their own relationship with the Lord.
So, if you're in that position
and there's a decision that you're making,
whether it's education, a career, a relationship,
something to do with your faith,
as long as it's a Godly thing.
It's when you stop trying to do the arguing.
Because you can't argue people into anything,
and we'll talk a little bit more about that
in the next couple weeks here.
But, you can't argue people into coming to terms
with your theology or your opinion on something like that.
But if you leave it up to God,
in his timing, God will do in 10 seconds
what you can't do in 10 years of arguing,
persuading and trying to defend yourself.
God will be your vindicator.
Now, as we close here, as I said,
when I came to this born again experience at 16 years old,
there was no warm-up period for me,
I just wanted it all.
Just pour it on, Jesus.
Just let's go.
Let's run after this stuff.
And I was so naive.
And so, a few years later I went down to a Christian college
in south Florida and I thought that everybody
was gonna believe the same as me.
And that everybody was gonna be as passionate
about the faith as I thought that I was.
And I quickly learned that not everybody was that same way.
And, I understood why the world wouldn't get me.
That didn't bother me.
But what hurt me the most, was when I would be ridiculed
or criticized by fellow Christians.
When they would say, well why is Kyle
always talking about God?
Why is he always talking about the supernatural?
Why is he so passionate?
Why is he always so overzealous?
You know, we even had a Bible study boycotted.
Because Heaven forbid, we told people
that God wanted to heal them and God wanted to bless them,
and some people said, well that's too charismatic for us,
we can't handle that kind of thing.
And they didn't show up the next week.
Writing one of my books, I overheard somebody say
how they thought it was strange
that Kyle talks about God so much.
And I'm not gonna say those things don't hurt
or sting a little bit.
I'm a person.
But now, most of time what I do,
is quickly as I can do is I take it to God and I say,
God, what would you say about this?
And half the things, if you follow me on social media,
is God just talking to me,
and I realize a lot of other people need to hear it too.
And here's what God said.
God said, Kyle, let them think that you're
too strange or too different,
but there's a reason why I chose you
for such a time as this,
and it is not because you're like everybody else.
And maybe you need to hear that for yourself.
If people say you're too much of this,
you're too little of that, you're too fiery,
you're not fiery enough, you're too passionate,
you're overzealous, whatever it is.
God says there's a reason that you are chosen
for such a time as this,
and it is not because, it is not because,
it is not because you're like everybody else.
When God calls you, He calls you to be set apart.
We are vessels made to hold His glory.
When people think you're too different
or you're too strange, you should just wear that
as a badge of honor and take it like a trophy.
And then if they still don't getcha'?
Do as Jesus said to do to his disciples
whenever he called them out and sent them out.
In Mathew 10:14, he said,
"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words,
"shake the dust off your feet and move on."
So, some of you need to learn how to
shake, shake, shake it off!
If people persecute you, if they don't accept you,
if they hate you, shake the dust off your feet and move on.
And ultimately, don't strive and strive and strive
to get acceptance and understanding and support from people.
Be satisfied that God approves of you
and you are accepted by God.
Everything else, really, is just icing on the cake.
Hear this.
God is your vindicator.
And he will give you favor with the right people,
in the right times and at the right places.
Amen?
People, they're often our greatest source
of stress and struggle.
They reject us, they mistreat us, they leave us.
If you've been hurt by people,
or if you care too much about what they think,
then you need my new series, People Problems,
in which I reveal the sure fire Biblical strategies
to experience peace with people.
The series includes four engaging and practical messages.
The secret to acceptance,
forgiving when you don't feel like it,
the sure way to change someone,
and finding the fulfillment of your needs.
You really can experience happiness,
satisfaction, and peace with people.
And to help you, we're offering my four part
People Problems series on CD or on MP3,
for a gift of only $25.
You can get it today at Kylewinkler.org/peopleproblems.
Plus, as a bonus, you'll get my seven personalized
prayers for prodigals.
If you have a loved one making bad decisions,
these prayers provide a great template
for how to pray for them.
So, get my People Problems series on CD or MP3,
with the seven personalized prayers for prodigals today,
for a gift of only $25.
Just log on to kylewinkler.org/peopleproblems
to take advantage of this special offer.
- I opened up the Shut Up Devil app many times,
a few months ago, when I was going through severe cancer.
- It has built my faith, it has built my trust.
- In 20 plus years of ministry,
I've battled insecurity at times,
Kyle's ministry has spoke life into me
at a time where I almost quit believing in myself.
- And I told God that He was stuck with me,
and God told me that He was not stuck with me,
I was chosen.
And I'll be it, that night, Kyle spoke on being chosen.
- Kyle's ministry does a fantastic job
encouraging your midweek.
- And I really started to understand that God had a plan,
and he had a purpose directly for me.
(uplifting music)
- It's like you've got this bottle.
And it can look so innocent sometimes.
And it can taste so good.
But you're sipping on nothing but offense,
how can they do this?
I can't believe they could do this.
But you're sipping on poison.
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