DONALD TRUMP'S PERSONAL LAWYER IS IN A PARTICULARLY
INTERESTING POSITION RIGHT NOW.
HE'S GOING TO BE IN CHARGE OF
THE LEGAL DEFENSE FOR DONALD TRUMP ON ISSUES HAVING TO DO
WITH RUSSIA, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW THAT AT THIS POINT MARC
KASOWITZ DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAVE A SECURITY CLEARANCE, WHICH
MEANS THAT MANY OF THE DOCUMENTS WHICH COULD THEORETICALLY BE A
PART OF THIS CASE IF THIS CASE DEVELOPS, THE LEAD LAWYER WON'T
EVEN BE ABLE TO LOOK AT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE THE ACTUAL
ABILITY TO DO SO LEGALLY.
WE CAN SPECULATE ABOUT WHY THAT MIGHT
BE, THERE ARE REPORTS ABOUT POSSIBLE CONCERNS ABOUT
ALCOHOLISM, WHICH OF COURSE HE AND HIS REPRESENTATIVES DISAGREE
STRONGLY WITH, BUT THAT STORY IS OUT THERE, AND APPARENTLY IN
RESPONSE TO THE STORY WE HAVE AN EMAIL EXCHANGE INVOLVING MARC
KASOWITZ THAT REALLY GETS TO THE CORE OF WHO HE IS.
THIS IS
THE LAWYER FOR OUR PRESIDENT.
A STRANGER WHO HAS NOT BEEN
IDENTIFIED EMAILS MARC KASOWITZ LAW FIRM AND SAYS THIS, I
BELIEVE IT IS IN YOUR INTEREST AND YOUR FIRMS INTEREST TO
RESIGN FROM YOUR POSITION ADVISING THE PRESIDENT IN
PENDING FEDERAL LEGAL MATTERS.
NO GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS AND
YOUR NAME MAY TURN OUT TO BE A DISPARAGING HISTORICAL FOOTNOTE
TO THE PRESIDENCY OF DJT.
WHICH TO ME SOUNDS A SUPPORTER.
AND
MARC KASOWITZ SENDS OUT STANDARD LEGAL BOILERPLATE --
FUCK YOU.
BUT TO BE FAIR, HE PUT THE ASTERISK IN THAT EMAIL, AND
I APPRECIATE, THAT'S FUNNY.
THAN 12 MINUTES GOES BY, AND HE'S
LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, I'VE GOT TO REACH OUT TO
THIS TOTAL STRANGER ON THE INTERNET MORE.
YOU DON'T KNOW
ME, BUT I WILL KNOW YOU.
HOW DARE YOU SEND ME AN EMAIL LIKE
THAT?
I'M ON YOU NOW, YOU ARE FUCKING WITH ME NOW -- THE
ASTERISK IS GONE NOW, LET'S SEE WHO YOU ARE, WATCH YOUR BACK,
BITCH.
THAT'S THE PRESIDENT'S LAWYER.
YOU ARE A PIRATE, BITCH.
THE INTERNET STRANGER RESPONDS WITH, THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND
REPLY, I MAY BE IN TOUCH AS APPROPRIATE.
THAT'S CLEARLY A
TROLLING RESPONSE, LET'S BE CLEAR.
HE'S SAYING I MAY BE IN TOUCH AS APPROPRIATE, BECAUSE I'M
GOING TO REPORT YOU.
I'M GOING TO FIND YOU, WATCH YOUR BACK, THAT'S THREATENING.
KASOWITZ'S RESPONSE TO THAT JUST TWO MINUTES LATER SAYING
CALL ME IF YOU WANT A CONVERSATION, I WILL HAVE IT
WITH YOU.
YOU ARE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT.
CALL ME.
DON'T BE
AFRAID, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
STAND UP.
IF YOU DON'T CALL, YOU'RE
JUST AFRAID.
CALL ME.
HE REALLY WANTS TO TALK.
HE WANTS TO TALK TO HIM WHILE HE'S STANDING, CURIOUSLY.
STAND UP AND TALK TO ME.
FIVE MINUTES GOES BY AND HE'S STILL
MAD, HE SAYS, I'M JEWISH.
I PRESUME YOU ARE TOO -- WE DON'T KNOW WHY, IT COULD BE
THE NAME, WE DON'T KNOW, IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THERE'S
ANY OTHER INFORMATION ABOUT THIS PERSON.
IT HAS TO BE THE NAME.
STOP BEING AFRAID, CALL ME, OR GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER AND I WILL
CALL YOU.
I ALREADY KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, I'M ON YOU, YOU MIGHT
AS WELL CALL ME.
YOU WILL SEE ME.
I PROMISE.
BRO.
BRO, THE GUY IS LIKE 70 YEARS OLD.
HE ENDED WITH BRO.
IT WASN'T A BRUH, FOR THE RECORD, IT WAS A
BRO.
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL PAUSE AND REALIZE WE ARE IN
A SURREAL MOVIE.
COULD YOU IMAGINE IF OBAMA'S LAWYER SENT THIS NOTE TO ANYONE?
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE LARGEST SCANDAL IN OBAMA'S
PRESIDENCY BY AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE.
HERE
IS THE DIFFERENCE, WE NEVER KNEW WHO OBAMA'S LAWYER WAS.
THERE WASN'T AS MUCH LEGAL JEOPARDY GOING AROUND.
LOTS OF LAYERS TO THIS, WHICH I'M AMUSED BY.
FIRST OFF, THE
FIRST EMAIL SENT BY THE GUY, THE HEADLINE WAS, THE TITLE WAS,
RESIGN NOW.
SO I DIDN'T READ THE TEXT OF THE EMAIL UNTIL LATER, I
JUST KNEW THAT IT SAID RESIGN NOW.
I SAW KASOWITZ'S REPLY
FIRST, I WAS LIKE, IT SAYS RESIGN NOW BUT HE MUST HAVE LIT
INTO HIM IN THE BODY OF THE EMAIL.
IT TURNS OUT WHEN YOU
READ THE BODY OF THE EMAIL, RESIGN NOW PLEASE, I THINK YOU
ARE HURTING THE PRESIDENT, IT'S INCREDIBLY POLITE.
HE RECEIVES
THIS POLITE EMAIL WITH A BENIGN RESIGN NOW.
HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN
ONLINE?
YOU WANT TO SEE VITRIOL?
RESIGN NOW TRIGGERED YOU?
THAT'S NICER THAN ANYTHING ANYONE HAS SAID TO ME ONLINE.
THIS IS THE MOST SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE I'VE EVER SEEN.
RESIGN
NOW -- WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?
HE SAID, I'M ON YOU.
WHAT THE
FUCK?
I THINK HE'S STANDING AS HE'S TYPING ANGRILY.
AT THE SECOND PART THAT AMUSES ME.
HE TYPES THE FUCK YOU, AND
THEN 12 MINUTES LATER, I'M GOING TO GO AGAIN.
YOU BITCH!
LET'S
GET BACK TO THE THING THAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, WHICH IS,
KASOWITZ DID NOT WANT SECURITY CLEARANCE.
FIRST OF ALL IF YOU
ARE DONALD TRUMP AND YOUR LAWYER WON'T REVIEW THE MATERIALS HE
NEEDS TO IN ORDER TO DEFEND YOU, YOU'RE FIRED.
HE SHOULD BE IMMEDIATELY FIRED, THAT'S INSANE.
HE SHOULD RESIGN NOW.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
WHOA, WHOA, SORRY.
BUT TRUMP IS AN IDIOT SO HE SAYS THE PROSECUTORS WILL
LOOK AT THE MATERIAL BUT MY LAWYER WON'T.
HE HAS USED THIS GUY FOREVER.
AND THIS GUY HAS REPRESENTED FIVE OUT OF THE SIX MAFIA
FAMILIES IN NEW YORK.
HENCE I'LL FIND YOU, I GOT YOUR PHONE NUMBER, BRO.
MAYBE SIX OUT OF SEVEN NOW.
THEY SAID HIS EXCUSE FOR NOT GETTING SECURITY CLEARANCE, HE
DIDN'T SAY THIS AND HE DENIES IT, WAS THAT HE HAD PROBLEMS
WITH ALCOHOLISM.
I DIDN'T BELIEVE THAT, I THOUGHT LOOK,
DUDE, YOU HAVE DONE SOME SHADY THINGS IN YOUR PAST, AND YOU
AREN'T GOING TO GET THAT SECURITY CLEARANCE -- NUMBER ONE
YOU AREN'T GOING TO GET IT, NUMBER TWO THE STUFF THEY FIND
OUT ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU GO TO GET THAT CLEARANCE WILL GET YOU IN A
WORLD OF TROUBLE, THAT'S WHY HE DIDN'T GET THE SECURITY
CLEARANCE.
EXCEPT HAVING SEEN THESE EMAILS, I NOW THINK
THERE'S SOME CHANCE HE IS A DRUNK.
THAT IS A DRUNK MOVE TO
DO, THREE OR FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, WE ARE, BRO?
JUST BECAUSE I THINK KASOWITZ IS ALREADY
STARTING TO EMAIL US, THAT'S SPECULATION.
BACK OFF, BRO.
BY THE WAY I'M TRYING TO BE NICE TO HIM, BECAUSE IF HE
IS AN ALCOHOLIC THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING, BUT AT LEAST
THERE'S SOME EXCUSE.
HE DID APOLOGIZE THROUGH A SPOKESPERSON, EVENTUALLY
HIMSELF, HE APOLOGIZED.
HE SAID THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHEN ONE WISHES HE
COULD REVERSE THE CLOCK, BUT OF COURSE I CAN'T.
AND INTERESTINGLY THE DAY AFTER THE EMAILS HE IS TYPING
MUCH BETTER.
INTERESTING.
BUT HE ALSO SAID THIS CAME AT THE END OF A LONG DAY, IT WAS AT
10 PM AND THE DAY WASN'T EVEN OVER YET.
SO I GUESS HE WAS TIRED.
MAY BE PEOPLE EMAIL THINGS WHEN THEY ARE TIRED.
THERE IS NO AMOUNT OF TIRED WHERE I FUCKING RIP INTO A
GUIDE WHEN I'M THE PRESIDENT'S LAWYER AND SOMEONE SENDS ME
THE MOST BENIGN EMAIL.
THIS IS THE PRESIDENT'S LAWYER.
THIS IS THE PRESIDENT, THOUGH.
WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT HIS LAWYER IS THIS GUY?
COME ON, GUYS.
IF YOU CAN'T TELL BY NOW WHO TRUMP IS, YOU
JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE IT.
HE'S BEEN DOING BUSINESS WITH GUYS
LIKE THIS FOR DECADES AND DECADES.
LIKE MICHAEL SAID, I
DIDN'T KNOW THE DEGREE TO WHICH HE HAD REPRESENTED THOSE
FAMILIES, BUT IF YOU LOOK AT TRUMP'S RECORD OF WORKING WITH
THOSE FAMILIES, THE CRIME FAMILIES IN NEW YORK, IT'S
AMAZING.
HE LITERALLY REPRESENTED FIVE OF THE SIX MAFIA FAMILIES
IN NEW YORK AT DIFFERENT TIMES.
IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE THAT HE'S ALSO REPRESENTING TRUMP.
YOU WANT TO KEEP DENYING WHO HE IS, THAT'S FINE.
AND I WILL END
ON A JESSE QUOTE FROM BREAKING BAD.
TO BE FAIR TO TRUMP, WHEN
THE GOING GETS TOUGH, YOU DON'T NEED A CRIMINAL LAWYER, YOU NEED
A *CRIMINAL* LAWYER.
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