How to deal with frustration and disappointment so, the best thing to do
is... is accept that this is a journey firstly, so if you're learning how to be
better at this you've got to accept that you're not just going to go from zero to
frikkin' amazing straight away, right? Now obviously when we work with people the
first thing we do is we remove all the sh1t they're doing wrong, so they're not
f#cking themselves over anymore, right. But the next step is to obviously then
start implementing it, so remember we talked about
it's 'unconsciously incompetent' first, so you don't even know you're doing it
wrong, right, so then we show you, okay this, you're doing it wrong, right so you
guys all now know what you're doing wrong, right, and you also probably have a
little bit of an idea about how to do it the right way now as well, okay, and so
the next step is to do that the right way enough times and learn from the
little mistakes you make and course correct, course correct until you get to
the place where you're not making mistakes. So the first thing is just
accept that it's a journey, because if your standard for... for getting it done
it's like right up here and it's unrealistic you're gonna bash yourself
in the face every time you're not like getting it perfect every time, okay, so
the first thing look, I want to show you guys something. That's what so many guys
do right, they go... say they're meeting a girl right, it's kinda like they're in a ship
this is supposed to be a ship right, and so you cruise along in your ship, you guys've
all seen Titanic right? Well you know about the Titanic okay, now what most
guys do is they... they're with a girl and they see like, they make a little mistake
and maybe the mistake is they were just steering towards the iceberg right, and
then maybe they were like they were doing something a bit wrong and the girl
sort of got a bit bored and then they go "Ah you failed! You f#cked up!" like "You
lost it! You blew it!" right? But they haven't hit the iceberg yet, right? They
haven't even, they haven't even made a mistake yet, so most guys that they're
writing themselves off before it's even finished okay, and so what you need to
learn how to do is distinguish the difference between something, a mistake
that steers the ship around say the iceberg, and a mistake that sinks the
ship and the frikkin' ship goes down. There's two types of mistakes right, one
that steers the ship, and one that sinks the ship, and most of you guys are
confusing one that just steers the ship which is like "I tried to kiss
her and it didn't quite work", you should just try something different you're saying "Oh,
it's over, I got rejected, it's finished" okay? So that's another thing to know is
stop writing yourself off before it's over. It's not over till it's over right.
One of my mentors used to say "burn it to the ground". Until the girl's like "F#ck off!"
then you're like "Okay, yeah, she's done. It's not going anywhere."
right, so you need to really push with it so it's it's firstly, yeah, not putting
your expectations so high that you think that it should just be "every girl I walk
up to..." look, I still get rejected, right! I still can walk up to girls and they just
like, oh, they're having a bad day or they're like "Who are you? F#ck off!" or like, it happens to
me right, fortunately less often than I like, and it's really funny because you
guys think you got it hard?! You should try teaching this sh1t and
claiming that you know how to do this sh1t right! And then you're out with your
clients teaching and they're like "Oh Ben, let's see you go talk to her" and I'm like
"Ah fuck" like you HAVE to get it right, you know
because everyone's looking at you expecting you to do it right! Most of the time it works
well right, because you just know what you're doing and you just go onto autopilot
again right, so you guys think you got pressure right? But like, it's taking away
the expectation that every single one has to work right, and it's not just a
numbers game. It is and it isn't right, so a lot of guys
got "Oh, it's just a numbers game. If I just speak to more girls" like I said,
like a thousand, two thousand girls, yeah you'll probably get laid once or twice but
the quality of girl you're gonna get, is it actually gonna work for a relationship?
I don't even know what you might look like you know, so it's a journey man, it's like
give yourself the chance to get better at it. The quality of girls, look they say
"You don't attract what you want, you attract what you are" right, so at the
start of this journey the kind of guy you are and the kind of girls that you're
even attracted to and that want you back are not even the right frikkin' type
of girls that you're going to end up with. I in fact actually encourage most
of my clients to say look "Get in this, don't just like start doing this and
then jump on the first girl that will have you
and you're just settling again and you go back into your old behaviors
before you actually mastered the skill set. So that you're choosing a girl, you know
you're choosing her from a place of: I know I can go out and meet with girls
easily and maybe even sleep with them if I want to do that whatever, and I
can do that lots and lots of times with amazing girls so you get to the point
where it's not just about getting another girl or hooking up with a girl
having a quick, you know f#ck or something like that, it's like who can I
become through learning this? The quality of guy I can become, but also, I want to
get to a point where I'm not taking a girl because she'll just have me, I'm
taking her because I know that out of all the girls I've met, which is a lot
this one is a frikkin', she's like the diamond in the rough, and not just she's
better than all the other girls but she's the best fit for me as well
it's actually going to be able to work because the girl's actually compatible
with you" alright, so I don't know if that really answers your question man
but really it's mindset, what you tell yourself it means if it doesn't work out
if you say "Oh, it means a piece of sh1t because I can't get every girl" of course
you're gonna feel sh1tty, disappointed right. So it's about getting your
expectations in the right place and also after every time it doesn't work out if
you're just like "That was a failure, I wasted it, it was just useless"
of course you're gonna feel sh1t, but if you could say "Alright, what did I do
good here?" find one thing that you did good, and sometimes it might just be the
fact you got off your ass and actually just walked up to her, right. Next, "what
could I do better about it? If I did this again, like a do-over, what would I
do differently that would work better next time?" okay, and lastly, "What was
something funny about it?" If I just frikkin; some day I'll laugh
at this, why not laugh today?" Yeah, laugh at it. right, and remove failure from like
your, your vocabulary right, because I mean, one thing we teach our guys we say
"You either win or you learn" right every single time guys you're either gonna get
the result you want or you're gonna learn how you're more likely to get it
next time right if you say if you take away that
"It was all just a waste, it was failure" right, remember beliefs>actions>results
right, if you tell yourself in your mind that it was all just a waste or "I failed"
or whatever, you're gonna be beating up on yourself
For more infomation >> Gutfeld: Trump is getting you to think beyond the sale - Duration: 11:49. 
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