- [Announcer] The following program was paid for
by the friends and partners of Kyle Winkler Ministries.
- But hear this, here's the promise,
being rid of shame does mean that you're no longer afraid
of what those things mean about you.
It means that you're at peace with God.
It means that you're at peace with yourself,
which in time brings you peace with people.
(upbeat music)
Today we're beginning a series that is very personal for me,
and I know for a lot of other people,
even though it's often not something that's talked about
just because the very nature of it is pressed down
and bottled up and guarded around great walls,
and that is shame.
How many of you know what shame is,
kinda have an idea what shame is?
I find that a lot of people only kinda have a vague sense.
Maybe you heard "shame on you," as a child.
But a lot of people think
that it's just another word for guilt.
But there're really big differences.
Guilt is the feeling that "I have done something wrong."
It's a feeling about a behavior
that really is outside of you.
And now God doesn't want us to live in guilt, certainly,
but guilt can be used to kickstart repentance, okay.
So, we do have to understand when we're dong something wrong
otherwise we're in danger
of what the Bible calls a "seared conscience,"
which is a place that you definitely don't wanna be.
But shame is different.
It's not the feeling that "I have done something wrong,"
shame says that "I am something wrong."
It's at the core of my being,
"who I am, is something wrong."
And it can be the leftover effects from regrets of the past
that you haven't been able to forgive yourself of,
even though God has.
But often, shame comes from things that somebody else
has done to you or somebody else has said about you,
or things about you that you didn't choose for your self.
Shame is seen in the young girl who's molested
but doesn't wanna tell anybody
because she's afraid he's doing it
because there's something about her that's wrong.
Shame is seen in the soldier
that comes back from war with PTSD but won't ask for help
because "maybe that means that I'm weak."
It's seen in the woman who desperately wants a child
but tries and tries and can't get pregnant,
but won't let anybody know about her battle,
because "maybe it means that God is punishing me,
"maybe it means that I don't have enough faith.
Shame is seen in the guy that struggles
with attractions that he hates,
but yet is afraid to tell anybody
because "maybe they'll think I'm a monster.
And some people say, "oh don't talk about these things
from the pulpit."
Some of these are taboo things to talk about in church.
Well, that's part of the problem.
Shame is bred in silence, in secrecy, and in judgment.
And I can guarantee you, I promise you,
that there are people in your congregations,
there are people in your workplaces,
there are people in your schools,
there are friends that you have
that are suffering in silence with some of this stuff,
and they won't dare say,
because what if somebody judges them for it?
And I know because I get the letters, I get the stories,
I get the messages.
Because the ministry that God has given me,
just the very nature of it,
whereby it's largely through media and speaking engagements.
People tend to share things with me
and share things with my team.
Because I think it's just a whole lot easier
to share something with somebody that is behind a screen
or you know is going to be leaving the next day
and you don't have to look at in the eye ever again.
But whatever the story, whatever the unique story,
the end result of shame is always the same,
and that's people feel like they can't share this or that
about their life,
Because if people know maybe they'll reject me.
And so they cover it up, and they cover it up
and they cover it up,
never getting to the root of the issue.
Well, today we're gonna get to the root of shame.
And we're gonna look at the foundations of shame,
what it causes us to do, but also what it caused God to do,
so that we can get into a shame-free life.
Now, when I look back so much at my story,
which you've heard bits and pieces of, I know,
really, I recognize that shame was the symptom of it all.
I was so insecure.
I was so shy, I was so timid
they thought I had a reading problem.
I quit everything that I started, including preschool.
I was the outcast, the reject, you know,
nobody wanted to be friends with the kid that didn't talk.
But really, when I think about the feeling,
all the way back as far as I can remember,
it was this feeling that I was always
on the outside looking in at everybody else
that was my age that I just wasn't quite like them.
That there was something wrong about me.
And that's a horrible thing to have as a child.
And so, I think, when you feel that kind of a thing,
you end up giving off this vibe,
that ends up making you even more rejected.
And so, I hated recess, and I hated P.E.,
and I hated lunchtime,
and I hated the times when we had to pick partners
for different group projects.
The things that most kids love, I hated,
because every day I had to be confronted
with what I feared most about myself,
that there was something about me that people didn't like.
And so I went to great lengths to try to hide these things.
And kids would say cruel things, you know,
they'd call you a wimp, they'd call you weak,
they'd call you a girl,
they'd call you all kinds of different things,
that I was pretty good at covering up,
especially in my home life.
But it would send me to my pillow at night
crying out to God,
"why can't I just be like everybody else?"
Asking God, at times, to end this miserable existence.
And now thankfully, I never got to the point
of suicidal thoughts, as some of this stuff has led to
for other people, unfortunately.
But, I would have been very okay,
on many occasions, if God would have just taken me.
Because it was painful.
I remember class parties and parent days,
when parents were invited to the schools.
Well, I never told my parents.
And I remember my mom, particularly feeling
like I didn't want her there because I was ashamed of her.
And it wasn't until, really, more recently
when she heard me on a TV interview, of all things,
say that it wasn't anything about that,
it was I was ashamed of me.
I remember when they would come into these parties
that I wouldn't tell them about,
and they would surprise me there,
and I would feel this sense of humiliation.
It's shame.
That "oh, no, now they're seeing me for who I am."
"I can't cover this up."
And then as you get into Junior High and High School,
thankfully I had very present parents.
I had a good home life, as I said.
But by that age, you're really looking to your peers,
and you're asking your peers, "Who do you say that I am?"
And so, especially as a guy,
you wanna be affirmed in your masculinity.
And, in our town, it was big on sports.
And I just never had the confidence
to really excel in that area,
and I just really wasn't that interested, frankly.
I quit every sport that I started.
I ran away from the baseball field, literally.
I mean, I hid behind the concession stand,
and the only way my parents got me back on the field
was to tell me that they were gonna cancel
our Florida vacation if I didn't' get back out.
I quit basketball after two months.
My parents wanted me to try all these things,
and I just didn't like them.
But in my town, at least, it was always implied
that to be a real man you had to be involved
in these kinds of things.
So I always felt like maybe I just didn't measure up.
And then it doesn't help when you overhear some of the guys
say one time that they thought
that you were only half of a guy.
And it's even taken me a while to even be able
to say these kinda words,
because of the shame that was involved
in all that kind of stuff.
And what that does then, is as you get older,
is you try to prove yourself in those ways.
So, I tried to prove that I was a man, I was this guy.
And it will lead you to try to do it
in all kinds of worldly ways,
and all kinds of destructive and unhealthy behaviors.
Now, I know that this is child's play
compared to what some of you are sitting on.
Because, in this world, I think shame is at an all time high
because of all the junk that's out there.
But we have to understand that it's nothing new.
It goes all the way back to the beginning.
Shame was one of the very first devices of the devil
to try to derail destiny.
Look at what happened right after Adam and Eve sinned,
and they brought this fallen condition into the world.
Genesis 3:7 says "at that moment, their eyes were opened,
and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness."
Other translations say that, "They knew that they were naked."
However you put it,
they had an awareness of their fallen condition
and they were afraid.
And so it led them to do three things,
that you'll recognize that we still do
to deal with our shame, today.
Nothing has changed really in some 6,000 years.
So the first thing that they did, Genesis 3:7,
"They sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves."
They tried to cover their shame.
Now, I know that we don't sew fig leaves anymore,
but we do try to cover our shame
with all kinds of other things,
like success and achievement, approval.
I realized, as I got older,
that I could do certain things well,
and that people would like me
for doing those certain things.
So, I took on this approval complex,
the achievement and success kind of complex,
or this identity,
whereby I only wanted people to see me
based upon what I could do that was good,
that way they would never see past that
to see what I really feared about myself.
I've heard from all kinds of people
who have struggled with great addictions,
whether it be substance, whether it be sexual addictions.
In every case, every single one of them,
was always something that would ease the pain.
Something that was an escape from reality,
even if it was just for a little bit.
People that have overcome great sexual addictions
have told me that, almost in every case,
I've heard the same thing,
that it just felt good to be wanted,
because they never had that before.
It was a wound that they were trying to cover.
You know, Adam and Eve,
those fig leaves that they covered themselves with,
maybe you didn't realize,
but fig leaves have an enzyme in them
that human skin reacts against.
So, basically, what they ended up doing
is they were trying to cover their pain just with more pain.
And when we do that, with approval, and addictions,
all we end up doing is covering one thing,
to cover another thing.
Because shame leads to more shame
leads to more shame leads to more shame;
it's just this vicious cycle.
Covering doesn't work.
The next thing that Adam and Eve did in verse eight it says,
"When the cool evening breezes were blowing,
the man and his wife heard the Lord God
walking about in the garden."
"So they," here's the second thing,
"they hid from the Lord among the trees."
Adam and Eve didn't wanna be seen
in their fallen, their broken condition,
because they were afraid that God wouldn't accept them.
And so they hid.
And we don't wanna be seen
in our broken, our fallen conditions,
or what we fear are our conditions,
because we're afraid God won't accept us,
or we're afraid that other people won't accept us.
So we hide.
And some people, they completely hide from other people.
If they don't have to be around people
outside of work, outside of school,
then they go to their homes and they become a hermit,
where nobody can ask any questions.
They're happy just to be with their dog, or with their book,
and I'm not saying that anything is wrong
with any of those things,
but those things can't ask questions,
those things can only get so close.
Those things can't really know
what they fear about themselves.
Or, some people, we hide in plain sight.
Maybe we're social.
We're happy being social about our politics,
and our religion, and our profession,
but we're only gonna let people get so close.
"They can't touch me."
So, we build up great walls
to protect this tender wound of shame.
I remember some of the greatest complaints I had
in relationships that I would be in
up to so many years ago,
was, "It just seems like you have such walls built up."
And yeah, I did have walls built up.
But the problem with walls
is that you can't admit that you have walls
because if you admit that you have walls,
then you have to talk about the reason you have the walls,
which is the very thing you're afraid
that if people know this, then they're gonna reject me.
So you just build more walls, and more walls,
and more walls, and more walls,
and you become more and more and more isolated,
which only makes you feel more like an outsider,
like nobody can really get to know you.
And it just creates more pain.
Ignoring is not the road to redeeming.
But look at this next one,
when they were confronted about their issue.
Genesis 3:11,
God asked them, "Who told you that you were naked?"
Look at Adam's response here in verse 12.
"It was the woman you gave me
who gave me the fruit, and I ate it."
Understand, look at that,
Adam didn't even answer the question.
All he did was point somewhere else.
And then Eve wasn't any more innocent in this.
God said, "What have you done?"
And she said, "The serpent deceived me."
"That's why I ate it."
She didn't really answer the question either.
Adam blamed it on the woman, and blamed it on God,
"The woman you gave me, God."
And Eve blamed it on the devil.
"The devil made me do it."
But none of them dealt with really the real issue.
And we play this blame game too,
which I really think is called a victim mentality.
Somehow we think that, by blaming the pain on society,
on politics, on somebody else, something else,
genetics, biology, whatever the case,
that that is going to deal with the pain.
And it might ease it for a minute,
because, yeah, maybe some of those things aren't your fault.
The struggles and the issues that I had, I did not choose.
But I also had to realize
that I couldn't go ranting and raving about how, when, why,
where, and the birth of all of this stuff in me.
Eventually I had to realize
that no blaming, no victim mentality,
was going to change the fact that I had a wound in me
that had to be dealt with regardless of how it got there.
Now, I wanna get to the solution.
But before I do that, in order to get to that solution,
I'd have to jump over a whole chunk of the story.
And when I was preparing for this message,
I really asked the Lord,
I said, "Do I have to go into this next part?"
"Because I'm just not sure how life-giving it's gonna be."
And I felt like the Lord said
"Yes, because it wouldn't be fair to them if you didn't."
"They need to know this."
So, okay God.
So the next part of Adam and Eve's story
is that God told them about the consequences
of their fallen condition.
He said there's gonna be pain,
he said there's gonna be sweat,
there's gonna be tears, there's gonna be toil.
And nobody's cheering about this, I know.
But we have to understand that we live in a fallen world,
so we're going to feel fallen affects.
Shame-free living, is not consequence-free living.
It doesn't mean that all the symptoms go away.
It doesn't mean that all the memories are erased.
It doesn't mean that the difficulty or the struggles
don't still exist.
It doesn't mean that there aren't scars and evidences
left in the wake of what happened.
But hear this, here's the promise:
being rid of shame does mean that you're no longer afraid
of what those things mean about you.
It means that you're at peace with God.
It means that you're at peace with yourself,
which, in time, brings you peace with people.
So, whew, we got that part over with.
Now we can get on to the hope,
we can get on to the solution.
See, after they were confronted
about all of this stuff by God,
then God provided them something.
You see, in Genesis 3:21,
God comes and he makes clothing from animal skin,
and he covers them with it.
See, God's solution was a garment, it was clothing.
Not something they could concoct,
but something that he provided out of a sacrifice,
and covered them in it so they could step out
from their shame and finally come back
into the light of day.
And this was a foreshadowing
of what God would provide for us.
The clothing and the covering that God would provide for us
through his sacrificed lamb, Jesus.
And the first step out of my shame,
the first step to my healing,
and I know you've heard my story about the cross before,
and so I'm not gonna re-tell that,
but I want to hone in on a particular aspect of it
that was essential for my healing.
And it was that Jesus hung on that cross naked.
Now some of you are looking very nervously at me.
Just hang with me for a minute,
because, I promise, this won't get weird.
But, I know a lot of our modern depictions
have Jesus with a loincloth.
And praise God for that, okay,
I'm not advocating that we take Jesus' loincloth off.
Okay, trust me.
Let's keep it on.
But, we have to understand, that historically speaking,
Jesus was not crucified with a loin cloth,
he was completely exposed.
So, imagine the shame of that alone.
Being posted on top of a hill of Calvary,
for everybody to see everything.
I think the only ways we can imagine that, sometimes,
may be the dream that I think most of us have,
where we arrive to school or work
and everybody can see everything.
You've had that dream, right.
Well, that was the reality for Jesus.
But he has to be in that position,
because that put him in the position
of the original shame of Adam and Eve,
to be naked and afraid.
And it put him in the position to take on our shame as well,
to be completely exposed.
Hebrews 12:2 says that "With joy, he endured the cross,
disregarding its shame."
He was able to go into that with joy,
knowing that by taking on our shame,
that he was actually able to rid us of our shame.
See, Jesus understands you because he's been through it.
For so long, I just wanted somebody to understand me.
And God said "Kyle, I getcha, because I've been through it."
Hear this, Jesus understands your embarrassment,
Jesus understands your humiliation,
Jesus understands your rejection,
Jesus understands your pain,
Jesus understands you shame, because he went through it.
But that's not all.
The very fact that Jesus hung there naked
meant that he was disrobed.
See, Jesus had a robe, that's not a surprise to anybody.
And history says that the robe would have been,
you know, maybe something like this.
Probably would've been white.
The Bible does say that it was seamless.
Okay, it was perfect, defect-less, not a tear in it.
Well, Isaiah prophesying, in Isaiah 61:10,
says that the robe of Jesus was garments of salvation,
it was a robe of righteousness, a robe of rightness.
See, the only way that you overcome wrongness,
is with rightness.
Shame is the feeling of wrongness.
So you have to overcome that feeling with rightness.
Well, Jesus' robe represented his rightness before God.
It was who he is.
It was his very identity.
So, what happened to that robe
when he was in the place of our shame?
What happened to that robe?
It's so awesome.
The Bible says that the robe of Jesus
was laid there at the foot of the cross
where, at that time, the soldiers who crucified him,
the very ones the put him there,
were actually rolling dice, casting lots,
trying to divide it up to see who could get pieces of it.
But God saw fit, that, spiritually speaking,
the robe of Jesus is still there at the foot of the cross.
The rightness of Jesus, the identity of who he is,
is still there at the foot of the cross.
Now, I want you to listen here,
because if you will really follow me with this,
this will be freeing for you.
In their shame, Adam and Eve hid from God,
but God came looking and God came providing them
a covering from a sacrifice,
so they could step out of their shame and be right again.
You and I, in our shame, we hide, we cover things up,
we blame, all kinds of things to try to deal with the pain.
But God comes pursuing us.
And he'll come pursuing us down the darkest roads
in our most desperate times.
He comes pursuing us to draw us to a place,
to draw us to that place of sacrifice,
to draw us to the cross where his wounds heal yours.
And in that place, is the rightness of Jesus.
The robe of who Jesus is still lays there
at the foot of the cross
for whoever will go there and pick it up and put it on.
So, I want you to hear this.
For you who are sitting or watching,
and you're suffering in silence,
afraid to let anybody know of what you're going through,
afraid to let anybody know of your deepest fears,
the first way out is to come to the cross,
and you can do it right where you are.
You can get before God right where you are.
Come to the foot of the cross.
And in that moment, God's gonna ask you,
like he asked Adam and Eve,
he asked them "What have you done?"
And God is gonna ask you "What have you done?
"What's been done to you?"
"What are you suffering from?"
And it's not that God doesn't know,
but it's that God needs you to get it out of you,
to confess it.
I remember when I first vocalized to the Lord
some of this stuff.
And I felt like I had broken news to God.
Like "Oh, no, now God knows and maybe he can't use me."
God knew anyway.
He said "You're no surprise to me, Kyle."
And you are no surprise to him either.
He needs you to get it out of you.
And in that moment, you might feel a split second
like you're a little bit bare.
But that's the moment that he comes with the provision.
That's the moment that he comes
with the garment laying there at the foot of the cross
and he wraps you around and says "There's nothing to fear,
because I have made you right."
Hear that.
You are not wrong.
If you are a Christian,
you are not wrong because you are covered
in the rightness, the righteous robe,
the garment, the clothing of Jesus.
And if you're not a Christian,
all you have to do is say "Jesus, become my Lord,
I am sorry for my sin."
"I want you in my life."
"Make me new, make me clean."
And that righteous robe gets put on to you, too.
You get the identity of who Jesus is.
And that's an awesome, awesome thing.
All you have to do is receive it.
Nothing you have to do for it.
No covering, no blame, no hiding.
You just have to receive it, and thank him for it.
Let's pray.
Do you struggle with forgiving yourselves
of old mistakes?
Do you battle with something, past or present,
that makes you feel unlovable, undesirable,
or even unusable by God?
These are the symptoms of shame.
In a culture saturated with so much junk,
it's no surprise that shame is at an all time high.
And it's being effectively used by the enemy
to silence and destroy Gods people.
I know these effects first hand
because, for too long, shame defined my life.
But, thankfully, I also know freedom from it.
To help you experience this freedom,
we're offering two shame-busting resources.
The first is my "Who I Am in Christ" mirror clings.
A crucial step to overcome negative labels
and wrong thinking
is to renew your mind according to what God says about you.
These mirror clings are powerful
at helping you do just that.
Attractively designed with six big, bold
declarations and scriptures,
these cling to any mirror or solid surface
providing constant reminders of the truths
of your identity in Christ.
I want you to have these so much
that we're offering them to you
for a donation of any amount.
So, don't wait, go online now to www.kylewinkler.org/clings
and secure a two-pack
of these "Who I Am in Christ" mirror clings today.
It's also crucial that you learn
the steps to freedom from shame.
And that's what I lead you through
in my new four part series, "Shame Busters."
In four shame-busting messages,
I explore the single place where shame is eradicated,
how to transform your thinking to see yourself
as someone who is right instead of wrong,
the ultimate step to complete freedom and healing,
and so much more.
Get my four part "Shame Busters" series on CD or MP3
for a donation of only $25.00,
shipping and handling is included.
Simply go online now to www.kylewinkler.org
to get this powerful series.
And while you're there,
don't forget to take advantage of our offer
to get these "Who I Am in Christ" mirror clings
for a donation of any amount.
You may get them separately
or with the "Shame Busters" four-part series
at www.kylewinkler.org.
Jesus took your wrongness
so that you could have his rightness.
And I wanna show you how to experience that forever.
So, go online to www.kylewinkler.org
to take advantage of these special offers today.
That's when you have to say
"no, Christ rights me, despite me."
And you have to push through those things from the past,
you have to push through those ghosts from the past,
you have to push through the things
people have said about you,
you have to push through all those feelings,
and you have to say "I am."
Change your "I am."
"I am the righteous of God in Christ Jesus."
(upbeat music)
For more infomation >> 華為Mate 20充電速度驚人！秒K iPhone X - Duration: 7:44. 
For more infomation >> How to Create Fireworks Text in Photoshop Tamil - Duration: 6:39. 
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét