So that first session... this first week I want to talk about comfort zones. Many of
us have been in them. It's that place where we almost get held in that kind of
fear or that laziness or... There's many things we do that we do in our comfort
zone. Think about when we get up in the morning. You probably have a routine. A
comfortable routine. You get up. You go to the bathroom. Make your breakfast. Brush
your teeth. Head off to work. What if you did it the other way round. Something like that.
Oh no. Doesn't... It wouldn't feel right. It would feel strange. If you changed it
around it make you feel easy. You'll probably forget something. It's because
it's become that comfort zone. So used to doing it day in day out.
They're all in your comfort zone they're a familiarity... sorry... a familiarity. it's
comfortable but it seems safe too. I know if I do it that way, that way, that way, I
won't forget. So we tend to get stuck in that comfort zone. So let's talk about
some of the things how we could step out of our comfort zone. So let's think about
those sweet tooth addicts, those sugar addicts. What if I said to you stop eating
chocolate. No oh no I can hear some somebody say. I couldn't do that. Let me tell you a
story. About seven or eight years ago I was probably the biggest... that's probably
longer actually... ten years ago I was a quite a sugar addict.
I loved chocolate and I had to stop eating it because of a medical condition
that happened. I had to go and try other things. And what it did, by stepping out
of that comfort zone at the time and trying other new foods other new
flavours. All of a sudden there was a whole new world of cuisines opening. That
I'd never ever consider. I was the one that stuck
to the, as my family sometimes called it, the brown food. the burgers the
chicken in breadcrumbs. Which are fine. But now I eat all kinds of things. The seafoods ...
The... I'll give everything a go. Had lobster the other day. That was something
I would never have eaten and I loved it. Getting expensive tastes too
Haven't tried an oyster yet. Maybe that's my stepping out of the comfort zone
this year. Trying an oyster who knows.
Same with someone trying to stop smoking.
No. I can't do that. It's my comfort. It really isn't. So what do we need to do?
How do we get out of this comfort zone? Why should we get out of our comfort
zone. Because we learn something new, as I said, I learned that I liked foods I'd
always thought I hated. Not true. I was just comfortable in that old way of
eating so I'd never changed. If you try new activities because you're stepping
outside your comfort zone, you'll meet new people. When I started teaching aqua
12 years ago I'd never imagined twelve years later I'd have the group of
friends I have now. 50, 60 people that have helped me to grow over those years too.
Taught me a lot. Have that conversation with someone in a coffee shop. I'm
terrible for doing that now. My parents think it's funny. When I was in Paris
last year I ended up knowing and talking to about ten people in the airport when
we got stuck there because of an incident. They were like "you always end
up talking to people now". It was like, well, it shows kindness. Shows that I'm
still willing to step outside my comfort zone and... it made a difference to those
people. They were sitting there quiet. The ones that didn't want to talk to me
I just walked away from. But the other ones they learned something. Actually I
helped them when we had to move to another area. They would never have known.
So me stepping out of my comfort zone meant that I could actually use that
kindness to help someone else. So there's one of them. Stories of people who've
stepped outside of their comfort zones? There are many. I know people that have
been so shy that they struggled to go outside of their front door and now
travel the world. I had a client a few years ago who literally went to the
other side of the world. From being quite socially anxious, to doing that. But it
was about going and trying. It's not some magic cure. It's about giving you the
tools to go and try. Saying 'why not'? See how it feels and tell me how it feels.
Set yourself challenges. 30 days to step outside your comfort zone. Set 30 things
over the next month to go and try and do. Now one of the things I've actually done
this month, in the last couple of days, is I've set myself the challenge to learn
sign language. So I'm starting off with the basics. You know the ABCs and 'thank
you', 'please'. But I intend to learn it to the highest level I can and use it within my
work. Every day do something different just that little challenge. As I said just
try eating your breakfast in a different order. Might not like it but
it'll be a different step. Walk a different way to work. Go... go the harder way.
Go up a hill instead of going down the hill. You might meet that person you
would never have met unless you'd gone in the other direction. What do you fear
from stepping outside of that comfort zone? Embarrassment?
Fear? Try it. Because actually when you do do it... I know... I know... there's people that
I've seen in the last year or so that I would say it's had life-changing
effects. They've been able to do things they never thought they could do. And
actually they're doing more than they ever thought they could do. I saw a lot
of people for public speaking last year and... many people when they came to see me
said I just want to get it over with whatever I'm doing I want to get it over
with. And I now know they're doing more. They're out there speaking with the public. Doing
conferences. So stepping through that embarrassment and giving it a go. There
will be some things you don't like to do and that's fair enough.
You know... same with me. But I'll always give it a go and if I don't
like it, I don't have to do it again. But it's about having that go, trying it. What
if everything went really, really well?
What's the most amazing outcome you can think of? Write it down. Write it down as a goal.
Your goal for the end of the year to look back and go, 'Wow' I did that. Let me
give you an example for me. This year I intend to travel to four different
places in the world at least. I'm going to Ottawa. So going back to Canada
somewhere I'd never traveled to in my life before and I'm going back there in
February and spend time with a friend of mine. Who knows where I'll meet because
I'm stepping out my comfort zone. I'll be going out. I'll be meeting a whole new
group of people talking about what I do. Then I'll be over in Vegas for a
conference in August time. And while I'm there I'm gonna go and explore so I'm
going to go meet some of those Americans in Vegas and I'm half inclined to drive
down to LA too to meet some of my friends I made on the
Internet over there too. Go and have a coffee with them. And then I'm going to fly over
to New York. These are things as that person that was shy, that would always go
on holiday with a friend and do what they did, would never have done. Did it
scare me the first time I went? Yeah to a degree. Actually when I was doing it was
excitement. It was like 'well I'm there now let's do it. Let's see'. And to be
honest when I went to Canada last year was probably one of the best trips I've
ever had, because I could go where I want when I wanted, to talk to who I wanted to
and I had an absolute blast, I won't lie.
So if you have ambitions to travel, go try, go do. What what are the small
realistic steps you'd wanna see first? So obviously that was the big goal I was
talking about over there. But it might be how good you feel about yourself. It
might be how when you look in the mirror you think I'd never have done that a
month ago, a week ago, a day ago. And those little steps become those big steps.
Someone recently told me to work backwards from my big goal at the end of
the year and start from that little step. And look at that big picture in the
future. So it's about discovering new, discovering that those... that circle that
comfort zone is something we've created. It's something we can step out of and go
and try and do. It can be anything. It can be travel. It can be to learn a new skill.
What skills have you always wanted to learn? And what's held you back from
learning them? Maybe it was the embarrassment of not being as good as
everybody else in the class. Does it matter? No. We all learn in our own ways.
I... I struggle. I have struggled for a long time to write, you know. I didn't put a
full sentence... Full stop in a sentence properly
until I was in my mid-20s, because nobody ever taught me at school and I got away
with it, because I was the runner. Because I just did. But now, now, yep, I still make
those mistakes. I'm sure if anybody has had emails from me they go 'what's she
talking about?' and I, I think it to myself sometimes. But does that stop me
writing that email. Has it stopped me being able to write an article for The
Huffington Post in fact two articles for the Huffington Post I believe. Has it
stopped me writing articles for magazines? No it hasn't.
Yes do I get someone to check my work, if I remember, yes. But it hasn't held me
back. So that thought of showing my work to someone else and being embarrassed...
Why? Because actually those words I put in that magazine... it proved a point. I
think it was November or December last year that someone rang me up that had
read one of my magazine articles. They were never going to be a client but
what they said was that article I needed to see. It made me realize it wasn't my
fault. It made me realize I was okay as I am. That I'd been blaming myself for
something that was going on in my... my life and I knew it wasn't. So thank you.
So just remember that one thing you do can help others. So selfish to not step
outside of that comfort zone. It really is. And then when you feel comfortable
you can talk to others. That's what I do now. I talk about what I
do, where I've been. I'm not afraid of talking about my mistakes.
I'll make many more along the way believe me, I know I will. But it's about
learning from mistakes, moving forward. and I keep doing the... I'm kind of doing
the hokey cokey in and out that comfort zone and I find that comfort area,
then I moved back out, and in... But I love it. I love growing and trying those
new things, who knows what's going to be next. I have no idea. I think as I've
always said one of my big things in the future is to do something like a TED
talk, if anybody's heard of them. Stand on a stage in LA and do a TED talk, which is
a motivational talk. And to write a story for Chicken Soup for the Soul, one of the
books that inspired me many many years ago with how people have got to where
they are from where they'd come from and it really doesn't matter where you are
now. It's about taking those little steps. It's about trying it. Tell me about it. As
you do it. If you're not sure about if you think
'should I?' Drop me an email. I'm there to motivate you, as I said, I'm going to set
up this private Facebook group within the next few days if you want to join
just drop me a message. My biggest message to you is to go and give it a
try. Because outside of that comfort is you. The real you. The one that's
dying to get out for a long time and that's what I've done. As I've said
before, I'm the quirky one and the one that likes to be a little bit weird.
Because that's me. For a long time I thought you shouldn't be. But now I am me.
I love being me. So it's time to be you again and this ten weeks is all about
helping you to find that real you, to go out to try, to have that confidence to
speak to that person you need to speak to. Speak to that person and just be you.
And if need be, if it's never going to change, it's about walking away from that
situation, that toxic situation - because you're you and that's all you need to
know I look forward to speaking to you next
week. Next week we're going to talk about being yourself. So my challenge to you
this week is to start to step out of your comfort zone. Let me know the things
you've done over the week. As I said you don't have to post it up on a wall if
you don't want to. It's great if you do. But you can just tell me - I look
forward to hearing all about all the things you get up to over the next ten weeks.
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