- Have you guys ever had pregnancy scares
with women you were dating?
I mean I'm sure there have - Kind of, yeah.
I mean, I've had like condoms break or like
the condom go out, pull like inside like that, yeah.
- Or like not being used condoms?
- Right. Or just like an unused condom (laughter)
but I still blame the condom, (laughter)
- Wait, you didn't even get in there.
- This condom didn't come out of the wrapper on its own
and put itself on my dick.
(laughter)
I mean someone had a story about getting pregnant
even after they took the morning after pill.
- Yeah. - [Nikki] So like there's no,
- Some babies just wanna be born.
- But then you're like that's a baby that I wanna keep
'cause you survived the morning after pill
and he's just like retarded. (laughter)
- Hands are misshapen and shit, yeah.
- Mike, I love you're still using that word just,
- Me? - [Nikki] Yeah.
- His brother's, - My brother is.
- [Nikki] Oh? So that gives you a right?
Why are, so is he okay with you saying the R word?
- Sure. But ah (laughter).
(upbeat rock music)
- I went on vacation with my dad this weekend
and we got back from the airport at like maybe three
in the morning and my mom had left us a sandwich.
But the thing my brother is like,
if there's food in the house, he'll eat the whole bag.
So you have to hide, - Right
- [Mike] Your snacks, or he'll, you know.
- What does he have actually?
- He has like severe autism,
so he's like kind of non verbal.
But me and my dad just had this moment where we're like
we wanted chips with our sandwich and we were just like
looking around the house at three in the morning trying
to figure out where my mom could have hid chips
(laughter) like there's a fucking bear that was there.
- Chips treasure. - [Mike] Yeah, yeah
(laughter)
- So if he gets into something,
he'll make himself sick by eating all of it?
- Yeah, he'll eat the whole bag and if you try
to take it away from him, - Maybe he's just high.
- He'll get upset. - [Mike] Good luck.
- Yeah, yeah. How old is he?
- He's 20? He just turned 28?
- Okay, so he's younger than you?
- [Mike] Yeah.
- What was that like growing up with?
- [Mike] It was fine.
- When did he start showing signs of it?
- Like, when he was two. - [Nikki] Okay.
- He was like a normal baby, too.
- [Nikki] Right. - You know, talk and stuff.
- He was killing it. (laughter)
- And what were the first signs? Do you remember?
- He would like talk as a baby,
he would say like mom and dad
and then he would just kinda like shut off.
And I remember like, when my mom was
like your brother is autistic.
I thought it was weird because he was like normal.
So I didn't think it was going to be that.
- Right. And then what's been the worst of it?
- Just like, you know, tantrums and stuff like that.
- Is he ever gonna be able to live on his own?
- I don't think so.
- Oh, that sucks.
- [Mike] Yeah, at 36 he'll like get his first job
(laughter) and an apartment.
- He's just gonna snap into it.
- What does he do he do at 28,
what's he doing now with his life?
- He just kinda hangs out at home.
- Does he have a job or is he able to not,
- He had one, but then I think like,
grabbed a lady or something.
- [Nikki] Yeah, - And they had to fire him.
- He squeezed a rabbit.
- He was working at the Wawa.
That was a good one, Tom.
(laughter) I never heard that.
- I mean you said he grabbed a woman, it wasn't that
- That's the hackiest way to make fun of retarded person.
- Oh, come on.
- I hope you feel good about yourself.
That's a human being with feelings.
- [Nikki] I think using that word,
- Fucking piece of shit,
- You keep saying retarded, you asshole.
- [Nikki] I know, you're the,
- C'mon, squeeze a rabbit?
- Well, come on.
- I liked it. I didn't hate it.
- You said he grabbed a woman!
- Everybody goes right to squeeze a rabbit.
My brother gets me, too. (laughs)
- Buy a rabbit?
- Does he know who you, I mean, obviously he knows,
can he talk at all? - [Mike] Yeah, a little bit.
- [Nikki] A little bit?
- Answer questions and stuff. - [Nikki] Yeah, yeah.
Do you see him often?
- Yeah, when I go home. - [Nikki] Right.
- I'm sorry I'm having so many questions about this,
but it is kinda fascinating.
Do you have other siblings?
- Yeah, two other siblings.
- And do they know, - Do they have,
- like what causes it?
- Probably. I probably have some, a little bit,
- Probably? (laughter)
- But I was never like, just totally ignored.
- That's what I'm getting at.
No, it's not where I'm getting at.
But I definitely, (laughs)
Mike, you have something going on.
- I, yeah, what do you mean? I don't know.
- I mean you're hyper intelligent,
you write really crazy,
like I feel there's some form of,
- No one's ever called my hyper intelligent.
- I think you are. - [Mike] Thanks.
- In terms of joke writing, like, you can't write jokes
like you write without being smart and some weird way.
- Yeah.
- Thanks, guys.
- You have a specific smart about you,
- [Tom] I think it's fine. I stand corrected.
(laughs)
- Tom smashes the bottle over your head.
- No, you have some great jokes, but yeah,
I feel like there's something spectrumy
about your intelligence.
- I will, like, like,
- And the way the way you behave
- Interact with people - Yeah, interact with people.
Can't make I contact. - [Tom] Right.
- I'm making eye contact with you right now.
- No, there was an entire episode where Mike,
- [Ian] Yeah, but your kinda like looking through her.
- Where Mike wouldn't look at my cohost in the eyes
for an entire hour.
- Because we did a show about Limp Bizkit,
and I came on to talk about Limp Bizkit,
'cause I'm a fan, and then the whole time
Tommy was like this music sucks, I hate it.
But the whole podcast he was pretending to like Limp Bizkit.
- Okay.
- [Mike] So I felt a little betrayed.
- [Nikki] And so you, - I felt a little,
- Man, if someone betrays you, you get so,
(laughter) we're very similar in that way.
Like, if you get hurt do you go after,
like do you, how do you handle if someone betrays you?
- I don't have a lot of enemies.
But I feel if I did, I would destroy them.
- Do what? (laughs)
If you had to have a, if someone hurt you,
you would come after them, in like weird ways.
Which we'll get to later on in the show.
Because, I hurt you and you came after me
in the weirdest, weirdest way.
- No, it's not true.
- Some would say it was an autistic way.
- How do you say that is not true?
- I don't think I came after you.
I think I wanted to,
- You wanted to hurt me.
- I wanted. No.
- Really? Okay, well we'll talk about it.
Mike and I have some history and he definitely
did something which I do not begrudge you,
because I have done dirty, dirty things to men who have
hurt me and men who have rejected me.
I've done some mean things I'm not proud of.
- The only thing I did was I went through
your garbage that one time. (laughs)
- So, Mike and I make out in Atlantic City.
It's just a casual, fun thing.
I was just like, oh I can just like make out with a boy.
- Not for me. (nervous laugh)
- It wasn't casual and fun for me.
- I did not know that it wasn't casual and fun for Mike.
I didn't, of course I, I had a feeling Mike had crush on me
because he can't really hide how he is.
He just like, is, you know, you're not really good
at masking your emotions.
Like, right now (laughter)
Right now you want to punch me in the arm.
- No, I don't want to punch you.
And I wasn't even, - You wanna change seats?
- I'm telling you, like I was mad when
I texted you that night when you were doing that taping
with Schumer and Feinstein, you like
- Oh, I don't remember that.
- [Mike] You kinda - I blew you off?
- Yeah, but you were taping a TV thing,
- [Nikki] Yeah. - And you text me back.
And there was no service in the thing
and I was like stay the fuck away from me forever.
- You said that to me?
- I think so, yeah.
- [Nikki] Yeah, that seems right.
- [Mike] Yeah, but I wasn't,
- I remember there were a couple moments
- [Mike] I was mad when I wrote sketch,
- with you where I was like, you need to my number.
You're crazy. And I don't like you. (laughs)
I do remember there were a couple of times where
I was a little bit like, he's not,
I've upset this person, that like I'm scared
of his anger a little bit.
- Well, I'm sorry about that.
- Well, that's okay because now I realize you put your
anger into sketches and not like actual violence.
So, I don't care what you,
what the kinds of things your write.
Okay, so. We made out. I go back to St. Louis
and I didn't realize that he
thought this was now going to be something more.
- But you were pretty, like honest about that.
And I remember I was like,
after that happened I was like,
this is a woman I'm going marry, my life,
I've been a loser my whole life
but things are going to turn around for me.
- No way.
- Yeah. You know, but, - [Nikki] I thought,
- [Ian] After what? After you guys made out?
- Yeah. I felt that way too when,
if I've hooked up with a guy that I really liked,
- When you like somebody. - [Nikki] Yeah,
- And you just see the, if you're like that's it.
- You project all of these things onto it
and then that person,
- I've never felt this feeling since then,
(laughs)
But, I remember I was with Mike Lawrence at KFC,
and it was right after
the double down sandwich had come out.
Do you remember those? - [Nikki] Oh, yeah.
- They're like a sandwich without bread.
So it's two pieces of fried chicken, yeah,
so the bun is the chicken and there's
bacon and cheese and mayonnaise in the middle of it.
- [Ian} Uh-Huh.
- And I was eating one of those sandwiches
being like, oh yeah, she's just so great, you know,
and I'm gonna go see her, because you were in Hartford,
- [Nikki] Yeah,
- the following weekend, yeah,
I get this text it's like, yeah,
Mike, sorry to be blunt, but I really just wanna be friends.
And I just had to go back to eating my double down sandwich.
- Aww, you got rejected.
- With Mike Lawrence. (laughs)
- It's okay. (laughter)
- Don't worry about it.
- You know, ah,
- I am sorry that,
- Come back to sewer I live in, we'll put a movie on.
(laughs)
- I'm going to make 15 jokes about
this movie we watch after this. (laughs)
- You won't be able to hear anything at all. (laughs)
Because I have opinions (laughs)
- I remember feeling the need to write that text
to you because you had written me the day after
we had made out, 'cause I flew early that next morning.
I think that's, - [Mike] Yeah.
Why are we reliving this. Can I get another seltzer please.
- There's like 40 of them on the table right here.
- I had probably like a 6 a.m. flight or something,
- [Mike] Yeah,
- 'cause I think I went right from making out
to being like I have to pack and leave.
You can have my hotel room. You can sleep here.
I think that's how it kinda went.
- Yeah, I think it did. - [Nikki] Yeah.
So I, but the next morning I land and I remember
I was on a run the next day,
- I still remember how the sheets smelled.
and I got a text,
(snorting laugh)
Wow.
- Oh boy, it's all coming back.
- I gotta text,
- And what did it say? What did it say? This is so funny.
- I can still smell your hair.
- Whoa!
- Yeah. It was something like that.
That was like, last night was, it was sweet.
- But here's the thing. If you were really into it,
that would be a nice text to get.
- Or!! - Absolutely
If you couched it, or if you couched it in a
I had so much fun with you da da da da.
- I think he couched it. - And then you responded.
Oh? - I mean,
- It wasn't just out of no where?
- I don't think so. - I can still smell your hair.
- It could have been. But it was probably was couched,
but that was, I just remember that being the line that was
like oh no, he really likes me because that
- But everything turned out fine.
I'm a men's right to activist now.
(laughs) (clapping)
- [Nikki] So.
- I've been totally helping father's rights @god on twitter.
- You're the leader of the Incel Movement.
I think a woman should have
- I'm having lunch with Richard Spencer later today.
So everything worked out for the best.
- Women should legally have to let you smell their hair.
- But, can I just say,
- Hair is meant to smelled.
- So that was like, that was kinda like you know whatever,
but you were honest about that.
But then, a month later, this was, I think May 1st 2010.
No, but it was like a couple of months later, right.
- Yeah - You were like,
I'm coming back to New York.
I can't wait to see you.
And I was like, alright, time to like,
you know, get her back.
- Start working out?
- Yeah, start working out and like,
I'm gonna be a new person, you know.
- Yeah, we all all can relate to this story.
- [Mike] Because, and I wish, you know I wish looking back
on it I should have been like, you know,
hey, I really like you and maybe it's gonna be a while
til we can be friends.
- Yeah. Because I think just wanted
to go right into friendship,
which I was talking to Ian about this last night about,
- If there's any young men listening out there,
don't become a men's right to activist. (laughter)
Be honest about how you feel with women.
- [Nikki] Yeah, I think that's a really good point
to make actually because when women,
or I've been in the same position
where I've really like a guy and I've been like,
I like you and I wanna be with you,
and he's like, I just wanna be,
I treasure our friendship too much. And I'd be like,
- He said that? A guy said that?
- Yeah! And I've been like, okay,
that's fine, yeah I'm cool with that.
And I am filled resentment hanging out
with him there on out.
And then he's talking about girls with me,
and treating me like a friend, and it just,
you need to take a break.
If you like someone, don't take the friend card
because you can be their friend eventually
and you're not a mean person to reject their friendship,
but just say, I think I need a little bit of space,
because you not jump right from liking someone
to being their friend.
And that person is really going
to try to friend-zone you,
and really make it seem like
I want to make good boundaries here.
So their gonna talk about guys they're into,
or girls they're into.
And it's going to be painful, so I would say,
- Yeah, it is going to be painful.
And you're going to be like,
it's going to be a weird dynamic,
like you'll showing up with bagels a nine in the morning
and being like, you know, you'll be, yeah.
- When did you show up with bagels.
- No, I'm just saying, like, you do all these things.
- Have you done that before?
- You degrade yourself. - Yes.
- Right, and you think that maybe, you know, in some way,
- Yeah. - And then secretly your like,
- [Mike] You start playing games,
- And you're like later if we hang out, she'll realize,
- [Tom] She's gonna change her mind.
I had that with this girl who had to tell me the same thing,
where she was like, I don't want a romantic thing.
But she was like, sleeping on my couch all the time.
- [Nikki] Yup.
- And I was like you need to stop sleeping on my couch.
- You need to stop letting her sleeping on your couch.
- I know, yeah.
- Wait until she see's Buck Hunter Pro,
then she'll (laughs) then she'll want me.
- I mean, I've been on, recently on the other side
of this where a guy was like,
I just cherish our friendship so much
and I was smart enough to know, like,
we're not really going to be friends.
Like, I care, I like you too much
and I don't wanna hear about other girls.
So I stepped away, but then there are also times where
in recent times where I've felt like guys getting a crush,
guy friends getting a crush on me,
and I really try to like, put a line in the sand
before it's even called out.
- But you admitted you kind of like
the attention a little bit.
- Yes. Of course. As a woman.
First of all, I like the friendship.
I like having a guy and having a guy like you,
they are more, they are in agreement with you all the time.
They do whatever you wanna do. (laughs)
You know, when a guy likes you it's a good energy
as long as he doesn't actually make a move.
- [Mike] Mmhmmm.
- [Nikki} Do you agree with me?
- I gave you a ride in my moving van.
- Yeah. I like, and I wasn't taking advantage of it,
I was honestly trying to just have a friend,
but it's just, it's a tricky situation and as a woman
who knows when a guy likes you,
you should really try to make it very clear
that that is not what it is,
so that they don't get to the point where they're like,
I like, just to they know that there's no chance.
- I mean, but then you look at it, like yeah,
I mean I lost a bunch of weight, my teeth got whiter,
I started showering, so,
- I once told a guy friend,
- I became a better man, you know.
- Who I was hanging out with who I could tell liked me,
I just need you to know it will never happen, ever.
And if we're going to be friends you need to accept that.
- And he was like, ah, a challenge.
- And literally, eight years later I have the same,
another guy tell me the same thing, it will never happen,
and that was so freeing to me to hear never.
- But you don't feel like it'll never happen between us?
Right? I mean who knows? (laughter)
- Who knows? We've got a lot of life to live. (laughter)
- I've never told you never. - [Tom] Wooo!
- I've never told Mike Recine that.
- Life is long.
- And that's why we brought you on the show today.
- [Nikki] So, that's why I want you here today. (laughs)
- We're gonna re-enact the kiss.
- But I think really, 'cause when you kick
the can down the road and you go not now,
you know if you're going to be into someone.
And, you obviously can't predict how things
are going to change, but,
- I had a thing with that gal a while ago,
and it was like, so intense and she kind of lead me on a lot
and we like kissed a bunch, and then she was like,
I only want to be your friend.
And I was like, but, but what about ever?
And she goes you need to think, tell yourself yes.
We will never. And I was like (gasps), okay.
- You need to, yeah you need to accept it never.
But that is tricky situation, because that girl
was making out with you, some girls will like,
send naked pictures 'cause he's my guy friend,
and I want him and I want this attention.
And that's really not nice to do,
and we should all be a little bit more aware
of other people's feelings, - Yeah
- And try to empathize with when someone has a crush on you.
Which I should have done a better job of instead
of trying to jump into friendship
with good old Mike Recine, because,
- Do we really need to say good, old,
- Here's the thing.
It's very hard to jump into friendship with me.
- [Ian] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's hard, yeah.
- You're a difficult person. - Do you have any friends?
- My dog. (sniffs)
- So, I, moving forward I just,
I think we just didn't, we weren't friends anymore.
Like, I just think that your anger about not having
our relationship what you wanted it to be,
I could just feel when I was around you,
- [Mike] Yeah, okay,
- I remember one time we went out to dinner,
and I bought you dinner, and I was really resentful
because I don't think you thanked me
soon enough or something.
It was really petty of me,
but I just remember being like, we're done.
- No, I said I was take you out to lunch
and then you pulled your wallet out.
- [Nikki} Uh-Huh. - Who cares?
- I remember you got, I remember how much it was.
Is this ridiculous?
- It was like, 33 bucks.
- [Nikki] $17 for a chicken plate.
At, what's it called? - Pallitree?
- No, it was a different place.
But I remember being like, I just, and I was broke.
And I was like I just spent $17 on a guy who is my friend.
I was so furious, and so I think,
- And I was like, I get something out
of this nine month ordeal. (laughter)
- I don't blame you. So,
- I'm just doing pull-ups like Travis Bickle,
- So, eventually, - Are you testing me?
- Ooh, a chicken plate (laughs)
- Mike and I definitely go our separate ways.
Then let's see, May 29th 2011,
I get an email from Mike.
And I don't have the original email here.
Hold on. Yes I do. Hold on.
Let me just pull this up really quick
because I want to see wrote to me,
'cause Tom sent me what he had,
but it's what you sent to your brother.
You and your brother co-wrote this sketch together.
- Here we go.
And I have an email from my brother being like,
hey, this is really funny, maybe we could punch it up
a little bit but you got something here.
- Yup. Yup. - [Mike] He's like my I dunno,
- Okay. So I can't find it, whatever.
- [Ian] Enabler?
- Yeah, I'm trying to think of like, a movie character,
like a shitty, you know, sidekick.
- Oh, here it is. Hey, Nikki.
My brother and I wrote this sketch
and there's a part in it for you.
If you like it let me know.
He rewrote and reformatted it in his,
I'm not gonna say that word,
blank little film school way,
so I can't figure out how to change it.
But the only thing I'd take out is the line at the end,
- I don't use that word anymore, by the way.
- Okay. But you used a word, it doesn't matter.
So, you said check out this sketch, do you wanna be in it,
is essentially what the sketch was.
Now, I'd love to read the sketch together, all of us.
- Yeah. Let's pick parts. - [Nikki] Great.
- 'cause there's four parts I think, right?
- Oh, great.
- So, I don't believe there's four.
- No there's three
- Why not, maybe have Ian play me.
- So. Mike sent me this sketch.
He asked me to be in it.
I'm going to play Nikki because there's
a part written in it,
- Have Ian play me, so I can do commentary.
- Okay, I would love that.
- That's a good idea then I'll be the brother.
- Okay, so Ian is going play Mike Recine in this sketch.
I'm going to play myself, which by the way,
Mike made it clear after I got upset about this sketch,
this was not about me.
- But the character's named,
- [Nikki] Even though the character's named Nikki,
it's not me.
- Yeah, it could have been anybody.
(laughs)
- Spelled N-I-K-K-I.
- [Mike] I like to write people's names,
I like to write people's name into my projects
so it feels more personal.
- [Nikki] And also, there's the part of Steve,
which is your real brother's name, too.
Not the autistic brother. - Not the autistic.
- I love that this actually formatted well, too.
It's like a Final Draft.
- He wrote it in Final Draft. (laughter)
- I asked my mom for $200 to buy Final Draft
so I could write this trash (laughs)
- This might be the dumbest thing written in Final Draft.
- Can you send this to me, I need to help with formatting.
(laughter)
- This is, so, Mike asked me to be in the sketch,
and this is the sketch. Okay.
- [Mike] Now, can I just say again,
I don't remember being mad at you when I wrote this.
I know you think it's some kinda revenge thing, and I,
- Well, let's let the audience decide for themselves.
- Should we start with the title?
- Wow! Wait! That's so weird, the first action
is Nikki, a dumb bitch, walks into a book store.
- Yeah, you're right. Let's save the title.
- Okay. Fade in. Interior.
- It's good writing.
- Bookstore. Day. Nikki, late 20's,
browses the book store.
What are we all laughing at that for?
(laughs) - [Mike} Because I Think,
- At the time I was in my late 20's,
- No, you were probably in your mid-twenties.
- I bet you were earlier 20's then, right?
- Oh, yeah. This was seven years ago?
- [Mike] 2011.
- [Tom] Or like, yeah, yes it is.
- 27? Okay, late 20's, that's fine.
Nikki, late 20's browses the book store.
She sees Steve, early 20's, a familiar face.
Hi, Steve. Weird seeing you here.
- Why? 'Cause I can't read?
- Nikki's cell phone rings.
- That's a funny little opening line.
- [Nikki] She checks who's calling.
Oh my god, Steve, this is so weird,
your brother is calling me.
- Hey, don't ad lib. (laughs)
- Don't punch out the script.
- I feel like I have to.
- You can't make it better. (laughs)
- Oh! Your brother is calling me?
- She answers the phone. - I hate this.
- Hey, Mike.
Interior. Mike's apartment.
Mike lazes on the couch in his boxers
and a Ginnea t-shirt. (laughter)
- Ah, hey Nikki. Just thought I'd call,
see how you doin'.
- Intercut between book store and Mike's apartment.
- Oh, I'm good. I'm with your brother right now.
- Oh, yeah. What are you guys doin'?
- We banged. (snorts)
Are banging. It's awesome.
Mike can't believe what he's hearing.
(laughs)
- Steve, it says whispering at Nikki.
I don't think that's a good idea.
- Oh, uh. Mike? Also, your brother,
he's awesome in the sack.
- Cut to black.
- Let's find some of Nikki's old emails.
- [Nikki] Okay, so clearly, - Read them on the air.
- So that's the beginning.
- [Nikki] Clearly the first scene is me playing
a joke Mike that I'm with his brother and I'm like,
oh, I'm gonna pretend I'm having sex with your brother.
- Right. At the book store. Yes.
- Fade in. Exterior. Street corner. A few days later.
Nikki walks down the street by herself.
Approaching her is Steve pushing Mike in a wheelchair.
Mike's movements are jerky and he makes incoherent noises.
- This is torture.
- His head is bandaged. (laughter)
Steve pushes the wheelchair up to Nikki.
- Hi, Nikki.
- Oh my god!
- What? Oh you mean Mike?
- Nikki kneels down to Mike's eye level.
(sobs) What happened?
- He can't understand you, Nikki.
He's permanently retarded. (laughs)
- Nikki springs to her feet. What?
- Yeah, he tried to kill himself.
- Oh my!
- It's actually your fault. (laughs)
You knew he really liked you, Nikki.
After that joke you made he got a gun
and tried to kill himself, but he didn't die.
Sounds messed up, but I wish he had.
I mean look at him. - I can't even defend this.
(laughter)
I think this might be bad writing.
Now that I think about it. (laughter)
- Mike plays, okay this is direction.
Mike plays, plays with the pool saliva forming on his chest.
- Yeah, so now he's retarded forever,
and I to take care of him.
- What about your parents?
- They're really busy. (laughs)
- This needs to be wiped from the internet.
- Mike starts to yell incoherently at Steve, who leans out,
Ian, do you want to yell incoherently?
- (yells incoherently) (laughter)
- What is it, Mike? Are you hungry?
Do you want to drink some chicken noodle soup out of straw?
- (yells incoherently) (laughs)
- Just one more. - Oh (yells incoherently)
- Mike, try to use your words. What do you want?
- Eeee. Eeee.
- Oh, you want me to wipe the drool off your face.
Steve wipes Mike's face. It's okay, it's okay, Mike.
There you go. You're so brave.
(laughs)
- Nikki buries her face in her hands and starts to sob.
Close on Nikki's tortured, guilt-ridden face.
(laughs)
Wider view of Mike standing up out of the his wheelchair,
taking the bandage off of his head and looking angry.
- That's what you get for fucking with my heart, okay!
You really hurt my feelings (laughs).
- He turns and briskly, briskly walks away.
Steve (laughs) I can't even get through this.
- [Tom] This is the best part.
- Steve spits at Nikki's feet.
- The thing is like, you never see someone's early work.
All we know about Ernest Hemingway
is that he wrote all those good books,
but we never saw his short stories and stuff,
- After Steve - that never made it.
That got lost in exchanges, you know.
- Wait! There's one more, there's one more line,
- You take a journey as creative person and,
- That's very true.
- You gotta just put words on the page
if you want to be a writer.
- After Steve spits at Nikki, he writes,
it says, Steve says, bitch! (laughs).
Mike, wait up. Steve runs up to catch up with Nikki,
ah, Mike, while pushing the wheelchair.
- That's a funny image. He's like,
chasing after me with the wheelchair.
(laughs) Oh, I like this the street sounds for the ambience.
- Great job on the ambience. Okay.
- Ian? Ian? As someone who has not heard this before,
or acted in this scene before,
what do you make of this sketch that he asked me be in?
And I believe I wrote back and said
I don't want to be in your sketch, Mike.
I want to find the email that I wrote to you.
- Nah. That's not important.
- In my response. I could not believe it.
- The sketch is also called Retarded Forever.
(laughs) (claps)
- So you thought, this is how you
worked out your anger towards me?
- At least I had the balls to put my feelings on the page.
And send it to the person who hurt me. (laughter)
- The most passive aggressive, and asking me to in a sketch!
- That's passive aggressive?
Yeah!
- I don't think that's passive aggressive.
- [Nikki] No, aggressive would have been,
Nikki you hurt me, I'm really angry at you.
That's aggressive.
- No, that would have been healthy.
- [Mike] You're very right. - Hah!
- That's something that guys have to learn, you know.
- [Nikki] Yeah! - Is like, just that,
- [Nikki] Hold. Hang,
dealing with rejection in a healthier way.
- [Mike] Dealing with rejection in a healthier way.
- [Nikki] Yeah.
- 'Cause it's gonna happen a lot.
- I think it's a good idea to write sketches and movies
and songs when you're mad at someone
and you want to work it out.
Like that would have been a fine sketch
to write and not send me.
- Right. And just keep it locked in the vault.
- [Ian] And like not use the character's name, Nikki.
- Also, I had a, my best friend in high school,
was blamed for a guys suicide, 'cause he wrote a note.
He killed himself and he wrote a note
and said "I did this 'cause of you."
So. - [Mike] Oh, boy.
Very triggering for me, Mike. Thanks a lot.
- (laughs) Love this, you just did (laughs)
- But it is true. A lot of times like, girls get blamed,
- At least that guy got his point across, huh?
(laughter)
(upbeat rock music up)
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