Years ago I was in the sanctuary going from one place to
another I was just walking through the sanctuary, and there was seven, eight of
our girls from school ministry there and I just had planned to walk through and
say, "You girls are beautiful." I just had in my mind to say, "You girls are
beautiful." And I was in a hurry, so I was just gonna walk right by, "You girls are
beautiful," keep going. And this thing happened to me, now I'm gonna slow it
down, so you could kind of get a feel for it, but this happened about this fast.
So I walk in I see the girls and I think, "Those girls are beautiful, I'm gonna
tell them they're beautiful," and as soon as I hear that, as soon as I think that, I
had this other thought, "If you tell those girls they're beautiful, they'll think
you're sexualizing them, or somebody will think you're sexualizing them." And so I
think, "Okay I shouldn't tell them," and it's, you know you've had this
happen, should I do it or should I not? And then immediately, I have
this vision, and in the vision that's happening really quickly, in the
vision I go, I'm taken back to my to the days when my girls - I have two girls and
two boys - when my girls were teenagers and my youngest daughter, Shannon, when
she was about 15, our youth group used to have these alternative events for dances
and our youth pastor, Bob Johnson, used to have these things where the
guys and girls could get together and learn to connect in a healthy way in
a healthy environment, instead of the dances. And so the guy, the custom was the guy,
obviously, could ask a girl out to this event. Well, two weeks to three weeks
before the event, the phone would start ringing. Now Jamie would be almost two
years older, so she'd be like 16 Shannon be 14, and the phone would ring and
Jamie would run to the phone they'd say, "Is Shannon there?" Phone rings again,
"Shannon there?" "Shannon there?" "Is Shannon there?" And about a week before the event
we'd have two or three of these a year, Jamie said, "I'm not answering the phone anymore."
And then the night that Shannon would get picked up for the event, you know
they were very close and Jamie would act happy, then as soon as Shannon, the door
closed, she would run upstairs throw herself on her bed and weep. I'd run up
behind her, get on the bed right next to her, she'd have her head in her pillow
and she'd say, "Daddy, am I ugly?" Four years that girl never got a single date, not
one. Not one guy ever called her in four years. She was beautiful,
she is beautiful. She said, "Daddy, am I ugly? Daddy, is there something wrong with me? Daddy
what's wrong with me?" And I'd take her face in my hands and I'd say, "You're
beautiful, you know what's wrong with you, baby? You're so beautiful you intimidate
the guys. Don't tell Shannon."
And I'd say, "Get your best clothes on, Daddy's gonna take you on a date."
I took that girl on more dates in her high school years then I took Kathy in
all the years that we were married. And of course the goal was for her to have a
better time, right? And she's married to a wonderful man now, I'm just so thankful
for them, they pastor a church in Fortuna, I'm so proud of them.
I'm in the sanctuary and I have this vision, and then I instantly have this
thought, "What if, what if Jamie didn't have a daddy?"
What if she didn't have a daddy in those tender years to say, "There is nothing
wrong with you, you're beautiful." What if she didn't have a daddy,
or maybe she had a daddy but daddy didn't connect, daddy was like Simon.
I mean what if she would've - I mean, my daughters were virtuous so please, this is not
an allegation on their character - but what if she would have stepped over the
line just to get that need met, that male affection, that sense, I'm beautiful, I'm
valuable? What if she would have done it three or four times? What if she would
have done it more, enough times that her repetition became her reputation?
Guess who isn't gonna get hugged in church now? Listen, if you give, if you
show affection to the opposite sex in church at all, certainly somebody who has
a reputation is someone you're probably not going to touch.
And who needs it the most?
And I had to stop, I bet you there's a lot of Jamie's in the world
who just don't have a daddy, they just get to that age and they just
want to know they're beautiful. They just want to
they just need affection, they need someone to tell them, "You're so pretty
you're so valuable." And you don't have a daddy.
I started to grieve in my soul, about all the girls and boys - cause boys need it, too -
who don't have a daddy. I was gonna walk by those girls and say, "You're beautiful."
That was my only intent. But now, I'm gonna be militant. I stopped where the
girls are and I said, "You girls, you're so beautiful. If I was your daddy
I'd be telling you every day you're so beautiful."
They're like, "Oh, Pastor Kris,"
"Come on, Paster Kris." I said, "No I mean it, no I mean it, you girls are so
beautiful, look at my eyes, you're so beautiful," I looked at everyone, "You're so beautiful."
And I walked on and I thought to myself, "I am never gonna let the world tell me
how to treat people when my heart is pure."
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