In today's video, I want to run through
three more questions that will improve
cold email campaigns.
I was running through a cold email campaign
with one of the new sales guys on our team,
and he came back with an initial draft
that does a lot of what you guys send
when you send me cold emails a lot of the times
where it follows every rule that we talk about
but there's stuff off about it.
So in this video, I want to run through
the questions that helped him improve his campaigns
and get a 10% response rate, and that should
ideally help you.
So here's three questions you should be asking.
The first question is, am I lying?
This is the email that was going out.
Is there anything in this email
that would jump out as untrue to somebody
who knows what they're doing?
The target for this specific cold email message
was international insurance companies,
both in the U.S. and abroad.
And what jumped out at me when I was reading this
is this second paragraph.
Last year, we started working with Hong Kong's
largest insurance firm, A+ International Healthcare.
We helped them redesign their old website
to a new one that more effectively attracts and gains
the trust of potential clients.
We also developed a web app which helps them
convert contacts to clients 10x faster.
Now if I got this email, and didn't want to check
anything else, but I saw that they worked
with Hong Kong's largest insurance firm,
the first thing that I would do
is Google Hong Kong's largest insurance firm
to try to find this website.
And when you do that, you don't get A+ anywhere.
You've got the largest insurance company in Hong Kong
include HSBC Life, AIA International and Prudential.
So off the bat, you're starting with a lie in the email,
and that's going to turn these people off.
They know that it's not Hong Kong's largest insurance firm.
And I'm pointing out this email specifically,
but it's something that people tend to go to
when they start writing cold emails
is they'll stretch the truth a little bit,
and the most important thing you can do here
is not do that, not lie.
So we started working with, maybe a Hong Kong
insurance company.
But I'll just cross out the lies,
we can deal with everything else.
It's not the largest insurance firm.
The other thing is, we were wondering
why people weren't looking at the website,
why they weren't responding, and that was because
we had to talk to client, and basically figure out
that A+ International Healthcare,
the site wasn't even launched.
So all this stuff that we were talking about here
was based on what the client was telling us,
but wasn't actually verifiable
because the site wasn't live yet.
The site looks beautiful.
Here's the site that they made.
This looks great and it's well designed,
but if you search A+ International Healthcare,
the problem is this is a .tk,
and the actual A+ site looks like this, a lot worse.
(laughing)
If you're talking about how the site is new,
and this is the place where clients are going,
it's not going to bode well for the email.
The other thing we recommended doing
is making this into a link that links to that .tk site.
But then we also have to soften this, right?
We helped them redesign their old website to a new one
that more effectively tracks and gains
the trust of potential clients.
It's just that will more effectively attract
or predict the future a little bit
instead of saying you did it.
And then we also developed a web app
that helps them convert contacts to clients 10x faster.
If this is true, I would just box this
to double check with the client.
Because if this is true, then that's amazing.
But if it's not, it should not be in the email.
You should not be lying.
And that brings us to the second thing you should be asking,
which is, is my data clean?
Right now, the thing that I want to look at is up here.
Hi Laura, this data is clean, right?
There's no like weird spacing or anything.
But he sent another email over,
and the initial draft of the email had this error in here.
Which I see a lot of in people's initial sense
which shouldn't be in here.
It's an extra space after the first name,
and this comes from not having clean data.
In your Excel doc when you're looking through the names,
if you use a tool like Split Names
and let's say the name is like Cy Johnson,
it will split it, and it will get rid of this space for you.
Otherwise, you have to go through manually
or use a tool like Power Tools
to clean that up and get rid of those spaces.
The other two things to look out for
are misspellings in the actual email template
or grammar errors.
And then any additional text on the company name
you're sending out to, like LLC, Inc.,
or having it written in all caps
when it shouldn't be all caps.
And once that's done, the last thing to look out for,
question three to ask yourself is,
does my email make sense when it's read out loud.
It's a simple question, but you'd be surprised
at how few people actually read their emails out loud
and ask themselves if it makes sense,
knowing nothing about the company.
Let's read this one out loud.
Go back to the original.
Hi Laura, couldn't get through by phone,
so I thought email might be more convenient.
I found Comegys while searching for insurance firms
on LinkedIn.
Last year, we started working with Hong Kong's
largest insurance firm, A+ International Healthcare.
We helped them redesign their old website
to a new one that more effectively attracts and gains
the trust of potential clients.
We also developed a web app which helps them
convert contacts to clients 10x faster.
We believe you might benefit from
similar ROI-focused initiatives.
I'm with Wesrom, a digital agency
that works with insurance firms.
How would you feel about discussing further?
Let me know and we can schedule a quick call
as an intro with our CEO, Robert Indries.
And when you do that, this thing jumps out at me the most.
I'm with Wesrom, a digital agency
that works with insurance firms.
It just doesn't make any sense that it should be here,
and that's the type of thing that you only get
when you read an email out loud
and make sure it makes sense.
I've also seen these first lines get broken
when the data changes.
The other things that doesn't make sense about this email
is I found Comegys while searching
for insurance firms on LinkedIn.
Is that how people search for insurance firms,
or are you just putting this in here
because I said to call out a channel?
That's the type of thing you want to look out for.
I found Comegys while searching for insurance firms
makes way more sense than I found them
while searching for insurance firms on LinkedIn.
To recap, the three questions are, am I lying?
Is my data clean?
And does the email make sense when read aloud
by a stranger?
Thanks for watching the video.
Feel free to subscribe for more B2B sales training,
like this video to encourage this type of content on YouTube
and if you need marketing support
for your digital agency, check out experiment27.com.
Thanks.
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