- You're listening to the Femtrepreneur Show
and this is episode 33.
In this episode, we're talking about how to deal
with all the fears and the doubts and the feelings
that come up when you start putting yourself out there
and creating and launching a new course.
(surf music)
Hey, guys, I'm Mariah.
- And I'm Megan.
- So, recently, Megan, you were there, I think,
because you're always there.
I did a live stream where someone asked us,
"Is it normal to feel totally scared
"and feel like you're having major imposter syndrome
"when you go to actually create your course?"
She said, "Even though I know that I know my stuff,
"I'm just really worried that people won't like it,"
and that it's just bringing up all these feelings
for her that she didn't really anticipate.
And then, in that same live stream, because we have
all these comments coming in, you guys aren't hanging
out in the Femtrepreneur Facebook group where
I live stream all the time, you can come and join us there.
And then someone else, who's actually a launch
signature course student, Sheila, she was like,
"Yes, creating a course is gonna bring up like
"all your crap, all those internal doubts,
"those fears, all those feelings of not being good enough,
"but that you definitely have to keep pushing through it,
"don't beat yourself up about it, and just don't let it
"stop you," right?
Like even if you have those feelings, don't let those
overcome you to the point where you stop creating
your course or you never launch because you're
so scared or you're so nervous about what people are gonna
say or that no one's gonna like it.
So, today we're gonna dive into a couple practical
strategies for believing in yourself,
when you go to create a course, even if you feel
nervous, even if you feel scared, even if you're
like, "This is gonna suck and no one's gonna like it."
Which I think is everyone's fear.
I know for me, when I first launched a course,
my fear was that every single person was gonna ask
for a refund.
I was like, "Oh, I'll send them--"
- Oh, yeah, that was mine, too.
- Yeah, I was like, even though so many people had
signed up, I was like, OK, well, now I'm past the fear
of people not signing up, but then my next fear
was like, "Oh, well, now that all these people
"have signed up, I'm scared that literally every
"single one is gonna receive lesson one and
"ask for a refund immediately."
- It's so true. - I was so scared.
- And I think that before we dig into the tips,
from the course creator perspective,
this is also an issue that we deal with with our students,
like our own students will encounter these
mindset issues or these doubts or these fears,
and that usually ends up being what separates
a successful student from a student who's struggling
and I think this is something we're starting to
incorporate into our teachings, also,
is kind of this pep talk and like encouragement,
but I think from both perspectives, if you're
a course creator listening to this, your students
may be dealing with this, too, no matter what
you're teaching, there's gonna be fear and
insecurities that come up with any new venture
or project.
So I'm hoping that these tips that we're gonna go through,
will not only help you as you create your courses,
but also in whatever you're teaching, giving you
a good perspective for your students, too.
- That's so true.
I think one of the things that surprised me
about when I started selling courses, and I started
having classes of people going through it,
in my mind, I was like, "Well, everyone has the same
"practical strategies, everyone has the same
"step by step tutorials, everyone is getting the same
"information," but I was surprised at how much
of what we actually are supporting people through
isn't like the practical side or the strategy
or like the technical set up.
I mean, some of it is that, of course,
but it's like the bigger things, and this has been
true in my camper courses and in Femtrepreneur courses,
where it's like the bigger stuff is supporting people
through usually a huge mindset shift.
Like usually when anyone comes into a course,
whether they're learning how to get ready to live in
a camper, or they're learning how to create
and launch a course, they have to get over
some sort of mindset, like holding them back,
or some sort of fear that they've never really
expressed, some sort of, could be even trauma
that they've never addressed.
I've noticed that it becomes a lot of like
emotional support.
And as a course creator, you, yourself,
are gonna notice that, as well, that you're so much
more than just a source of like technical information,
you're a source of support and guidance
for your students. - Love that.
Well, I'm excited that we're gonna be going into some
practical tips, as well.
- OK, let's dive in.
So, let's talk a little bit about mindset
and sort of what we mean when we say that.
So, one of the things that Megan and I have been
talking about a lot the last year is just
how much we've come to both sort of realize
that mindset is important.
I think we've talked about that in previous
episodes, where we used to just both be like,
"Well, do the work and just keep pushing through,
"and if you hustle enough, it'll all work out,"
which I do think is true, but the other thing
is how you're thinking about it.
And the stories that you're telling yourself,
and the thoughts that you're constantly thinking.
There's this idea of sort of like thoughts
become things or thoughts become your reality,
and what you focus on, and what you tell yourself,
does have power in how things turn out.
So, if you're constantly telling yourself
that you're gonna fail, that your course
is gonna fail, you definitely have a higher likelihood
of that happening because you're constantly
focusing on that and you're constantly running
through that story, or you might just have
this story where you're like,
"Oh, I always fail when I try to do stuff,
"so why will this be any different?"
And just changing how you're thinking about things
can actually impact like how you're able to work
in the real world.
- Yeah, I totally agree.
One of the things, I bought the five minute journal,
I forget how long ago now.
Six months, a year ago.
And one of the things you do is write down
affirmations in the morning, and that was my first venture,
to me, affirmations, we might get into this, I don't know,
but affirmations, if you don't know, are basically
writing down like positive thoughts about
yourself, like I am statements, and this was my
first time doing I am affirmations
or anything like that, and I was a little hesitant
at first, but now it's become one of my favorite things
that I do every morning, and it's really empowering
and it overcomes any insecurities, so like,
through the day, when I have like some
wavering insecurity that comes,
before we hop on a webinar, for example,
I might feel this sudden doubt that comes,
or insecurity, and I will literally, maybe I'm crazy,
but I will literally refer back to my affirmation
from that morning and be like, "No, I am smart,
"I am valuable," like, "I have knowledge to share,"
and I'll kind of reference those and it instantly
calms me down and I'm no longer, you know,
insecure or worried about it, so for me that's been
like a great stepping stone into actually taking steps
to overcome whatever insecurities you might have.
- So that would be something like, as like a takeaway
that you guys could do, if you feel like, if you're
sitting there feeling like no one's gonna like my course
and everyone's gonna ask for a refund, you could change
that to, "I get awesome feedback from my students
"every day and they all tell me how much
"they love the content."
Like, writing that down, like, "I'm a great teacher,
"and I know my stuff," writing that down
every morning can get you into the mindset of
like, "Oh, yeah, I've been doing this for a long time,
"I actually do know my stuff, and even though
"I'm nervous," you're more in a mindset of,
"I know what I'm doing, I'm doing the right thing,
"and I'm gonna keep moving forward," instead of just
going into this cycle of like, "What if no one likes it?
"What if everyone hates it?"
- Yeah, and I do think one last thing before we
move on from this topic is the mindset stuff
can also be subconscious, like, it may be things
that you think are fact that you've never really
like addressed before and I don't want to get too
deep into like the woo woo stuff, but you know,
if you always think, you know, earning money is hard,
this is the classic example, like if you just believe
earning money is hard then it's always going to be hard
because you just will make it hard.
Not intentionally.
So you know, I don't know how into mindset stuff
our listeners are, but I do think at whatever scale
you're at, there might be some stuff there
you don't even realize you're telling yourself.
- Exactly. - An example in real life
that I had recently at the workshop we were at
in New York, someone said, "Oh, I can't draw."
Like he was just saying it unrelated to teaching,
he was just like, "Oh, well, I can't draw,
"so I could never do that," and he caught himself
and he was like, "Wait, I've always told myself
"I can't draw, that doesn't mean I couldn't learn.
"Like, that doesn't mean I can't do that."
And it was an interesting example that wasn't
related to business, but was just like,
"Oh, I've always said I can't sing, so I always
"believe I can't sing, so I never sing in front
"of anyone, so then I don't sing."
But it's like, I could, I could sing.
- You could learn. - I could learn.
- I did that for a really long time, and I think
this is a popular one for creatives is like
I always was like, "Well, I just have to be in
"total chaos all the time because I'm a creative person,"
or I would be like, "I'm just not organized
"and it's impossible for me to get organized
"because I just wasn't born organized."
But obviously working with you for so long,
it's like, I can learn how to be organized.
I can learn how to have structure.
I can learn how to use project management tools
and productivity tools.
I don't have to actually just because I'm creative
doesn't mean that every day is chaos,
and that was totally just like an excuse.
It was like some kind of weird badge of honor
of like, "Oh, well, I'm just super crazy all the time
"and always stress because I can't get organized."
And it's like, yeah, I have a harder time.
It's not my natural state to be organized
and to have everything scheduled, but I do think
it's like, well over the years I've learned how
freeing it is to do that and stop telling yourself
all those stories.
You don't have to fit into any one of those little molds.
- Yeah, I love that. - OK, so the next thing
I want you guys to do in order to sort of face
the fear and get over and get to the other side of it
is to actually ask yourself like, "What is the worst
"case scenario?"
So let's say that you do launch your course
and nobody buys.
That's a lot of people's fear that they have to confront
is like, "What if I launch and no one buys?"
OK, what?
What if that happens?
OK, so what if no one buys?
Like, you didn't create the course yet because
you're pre selling because that's,
because I'm gonna not let you do it any other way.
And then what?
You like pivot your idea?
Like that's the worst possible thing that could happen.
What if, you know, for some people, it might be tied
to money, well, like what if I'm relying on this launch
working out, I lost my job, like what's the worst
case scenario?
Actually go there.
Now, I don't want you to sit there and dwell on this
and like become obsessive.
I know for me I have like obsessive thoughts so I can
easily get into a place where this is something that I'm
just repeating over and over, so I don't want you
to do that, but I do want you to go there
and then realize that that's not,
realize that it's the worst thing you can imagine
is not the end of the world, so you can get back
to work and get on with it.
So the same thing could be like,
well, what if everyone, what if you make 10 sales
and eight people ask for a refund?
What? - You still made
two sales. - Yeah.
Give them a refund and you move on.
Like you figure out why.
- That was like, one of the things when I was making
the leap, when I was leaving my full time job to
being a business owner full time,
this was how I felt comfortable with it,
was, what is the worst case scenario?
And I was talking to my now husband,
at the time, and we were having this serious talk
and this was like ultimately what sold him on it
was like, what's the worst case scenario?
I try this out for a year, I try this out for
six months, I go back and get a full time job.
Like, I end up, at least I tried, at least I gave it
my best shot, the absolute worst case is I go back
and get a full time job again.
Like, that's-- - You're not gonna
be dead. - --totally fine, like
if anything-- - You're not gonna be
on the street. - Yeah, and it was like,
oh, the experience I would have learned is applicable
to getting another job, you know, it's like,
that was where I had to go, and I realized that
I was really happy with that.
Like, I was OK with that worst case and that
made it not scary. - And that the risk
is worth it.
Like-- - Yeah, totally.
- --you're focusing only-- - What's the best case
scenario? - --on the worst
case scenario, yeah, and then it's like,
well, oh my gosh, but if it does work out
then like, oh my gosh, like, that's amazing.
It's the same thing, you know.
Another example because at the time of this
coming out, at the time of this episode coming out,
launch signature course is open for enrollment,
but I think only for like probably like two days
after this is coming out, so get on it, guys.
But if you're trying to decide like to invest,
it could be like, OK, well, yes, it's an investment,
well, what's the worst case scenario?
It's like, you try it out and you don't like it
and then you take advantage of the refund policy.
Or you try it out, you give it your best shot,
and you get a bunch of subscribers and you make
a couple sales, like, what is the worst case scenario?
But then, what's the best case scenario?
It all goes great, you have all the tools you need,
you launch your course and people do love it,
and you make money, like there's just two sides of it,
and I think that asking yourself for any thing that
you're on the fence about, going through,
just acknowledging that the worst case scenario is like
not the end of the world.
And anyway.
- And then comparing it with the best case.
To me, they go hand in hand.
Like, you start with the worst case and then you see this
worst case and then you see the best case.
And it really puts both in a realistic perspective.
- Totally.
And I do this, too, with my boyfriend,
where I'm like, where he's like,
"OK, well, what is like the," I'm like,
"I don't know if I should do this thing,
"like what if we go on this trip or like
"what if we hire this new person or like
"I'm nervous," even like you said, when I was hiring you
I had never hired a person before and I was like,
"What if I can't support two people?
"Like what if my company, for whatever reason,
"goes backwards or makes less money and I can't
"keep supporting two people?"
And it was like, well, the worst case scenario would
be that like you figure it out and like you have to
I don't know, figure out a way to make more money or
like unfortunately, like Megan would have to go
and get a job, but like that didn't happen, so.
- It all worked out, but we were both OK
with the worst case, like-- - Definitely.
- --unknowingly, our worst case was the same
from the different perspective, but we would have
both ultimately been like comfortable with the worst case.
- That's so true.
That's a good point. - We're so in sync.
- I know. - I'm so glad it
worked out, though. - I know, me too.
Even just saying that out loud is like,
oh God, I would never let you go back to a regular job.
- You would have gone the other route of finding a way
to make more money, probably. - Yeah, I would have
done like whatever was necessary to not make you go back
to a job, OK.
So, that's a really good one is going to the worst
case scenario and then like establishing that it's
not the end of the world and imagining the opposite
of that, the best case scenario, is it worth it?
Right, is it worth it for that, whatever could happen
in order for something great to happen.
Now, the next concept is to believe in yourself
and I know Megan and I have talked about this also
in the past where we both have a sort of irrational
belief in ourselves that we can do
whatever, we could do whatever we set our minds to,
and I want you guys to try to start adopting that,
even if it doesn't come naturally to you.
Even if, even if, and I think I read this in a book,
it was like, "Even if you have no evidence yet,
"that you should believe in yourself,"
it was like, "Even if you look around and your past
"is like littered with like times that you failed
"or even if everyone around you is telling you
"that like you're not capable of doing what it is
"that you're setting out to do,
"even if your family is like thinks you're crazy,
"even if you have no evidence that like,
"you have no business with this working out for you,
"still believing in yourself, despite that and just knowing
"that like things are possible for people who go for them."
I really think like what separates the successful people
from the people who aren't successful is just that like,
those people tried.
Like, they put theirself out there and only such a small
percentage of people will ever even try.
So, it's like, you're gonna float to the top
even if you just-- - Just by trying.
- --put in effort, yeah.
- And I think, too, what comes up for me when you're
talking about believing in yourself is this idea
of like, you don't have to believe that you're the
perfect person.
I don't know, maybe, that just came up for me is like,
believing in my ability to make this work didn't mean
I knew I was the coolest person in the room
or never felt doubts or insecurities in any aspect
of my life. - Totally.
- But you still believe in this thing that you're doing.
It was like, I still had other insecurities that I was
battling, but I knew I could work hard and I could do this
and it would work out.
That no matter what, I could find a way to make
something successful.
And so I think, I don't know, for me that just came up
when you were sharing it, so in case that came up for
anyone else, I just wanted to throw that out there.
- I think that's so true.
It's like, believing in yourself doesn't mean that
you have to feel like you're perfect at everything
or that you're crushing it on every part of your life,
but as long as you know that you put in your time
and you put in your heart and you put in your effort
into this thing, knowing that it'll come back to you
I think is like important.
Almost like a trust of just like,
I'm not gonna obsess over what could happen
that wouldn't work out, I'm gonna trust that like
just have that sense of just like, kind of contentment
almost. - It's almost believing
in what you put out being what you're gonna get back.
And-- - Yeah, I love that.
- --one of my favorite people Sydney Leonard Duzy,
who teaches video marketing, she always talks about,
with her community, that she believes she just
has this great community because they reflect
the type of energy and relationships she gives them.
You know, she's kind and open and generous,
then her community reflects that back.
They're kind, open, generous people.
And so, to me, although that's like a relationship angle,
I do believe that this kind of speaks to that.
Like, you're just ultimately believing that if you
put the hard work into it, and you're coming from
a good place, and you're being genuine, like you're gonna
get back what you deserve.
- It's so true.
We get that about our audience, too.
You guys.
We get that about you guys all the time where people
are like, "How come," even sometimes we'll have guests
on the show, and then they'll be like,
"Oh, after I was a guest on your show,
"I got a flood of friendly, nice e-mails,"
and they're like, "Even my audience doesn't
"send me any nice e-mails."
Like they just complain.
And so it's funny when people are like,
"Your audience is extremely nice and extremely like
"open to compliment, like they're always complimenting
"people," and I'm like, I think that's because
that's what we put out.
We're always very open and honest and compliment,
and just, trying to have fun and be nice, I don't know.
- Good intentions. - Yeah, I do think
it comes back. - To me, the believing
in yourself, it's just believing in, going back to that,
everything we're talking about.
It's all related, but definitely you have to,
at the core believe in yourself, because I think
if you go into it and you have any unbelief,
like you don't believe that you can do this,
it's just gonna be so much harder.
And it's gonna take you so much longer.
And the process won't be enjoyable.
Whereas if you were just like stubbornly positive
that this is gonna work out, it's gonna happen
faster and you're gonna have a better time,
and you're gonna make decisions quicker,
and you're gonna take action faster.
It just has a really positive ripple effect.
- It's relentless optimism. - Yeah, that was the phrase
I was trying to remember. - Yes.
Relentlessly optimistic.
That's one of our, we're working on a manifesto
to have designed and that's one of our phrases,
relentlessly optimistic.
So even when everything is falling apart,
you guys just gotta stay relentlessly optimistic.
OK, let's move on to the next one.
So my next tip for you guys to push through the fear
and the doubt and kind of get over if it's stopping you
from taking action is to look at inspiration.
Now, I don't think you can spend all day looking
at inspiration and I kind of think of this as like
almost like a sugar high.
It's kind of like, oh, or it's like a hit.
- Eating that piece of chocolate.
- Yeah, it's like having an extra coffee or kind of,
it's something that OK, looking at inspiration all day
shouldn't be what you need in order to get the work done,
and it shouldn't be the only thing that you're
relying on, but I do think if you're feeling doubtful
or if you find yourself just kind of like getting
distracted and not actually creating and launching
what you're supposed to be working on,
I think looking at inspiration
can help you get over that fear, looking at what other
people have achieved, looking at other success stories.
I love success stories.
I know some people are like, "Oh, I can't look at
"so and so's stuff, it's so triggering."
Or like, "I can't deal with other people's,
"I can't look ever," some people, once, like people
are like, "Oh, I don't want to look at anyone else
"on social media because I don't want to know
"if anyone is more successful than me."
And I'm like, "Really?"
That seems, to me, that seems like you're missing out
on this amazing opportunity to feel, first of all,
just realize that like a rising tide lifts all the boats.
And to also feel totally inspired.
Like when I see that someone's doing better than me
financially, or, you know, they have bigger
e-mail list or they're traveling more than I am,
I don't get jealous, I just get like,
"Oh my gosh, that's real," or like,
"That's such a great opportunity," or like,
"I feel so inspired by her."
I truly just get so excited.
And then it pushes me to like you know,
get back to work and make that happen for myself.
So if you feel like that, I do encourage you
to look for inspiration.
This can be, you can look on the Femtrepreneur blog,
you can look on launchyoursignaturecourse.com website
where we have like tons of student stories
and inspirational case studies from our students
sharing their experiences and pick someone that you
kind of resonate with, that's what I've done in my life
is like, pick someone that I really resonate with,
and it's not always a famous person, it's not always
someone that's a big name, but it's someone that
I look up to and just feel like, wow, like,
I really can resonate with their story and it's
inspiring to me and it pushes me to keep going.
- Well, that's, one of the things you said is that
it makes it real, and I think that that's what I keep
encountering, whether it's in person or just online,
whether it's seeing a story or meeting someone.
Being around and encountering and hearing about
successful people, for me, it just makes it real.
It makes it attainable.
It's not this like far off thing that you're only
picturing in your head, it's like, no, this person
has done this, they don't necessarily have anything
that I don't have the ability to have, you know.
Like, they're not a super genius, and you know,
so wealthy to begin with, it's like,
most everyone's normal, they pretty much have all access
to all the same stuff I do, like, it just makes it
feel real, and it makes it exciting.
And I do think that I want to hesitate,
just like you were, I want to caution that you shouldn't
be spending all your time reading success stories.
You do need to take action.
Work is a part of all of this.
So you know, underlying this whole mindset conversation
is you have to actually take action and do the work,
but I think having this positive mindset first
is key to allowing the action to flow faster and easier
and see the results you want faster without
so much resistance through the process.
- Yeah, it's like, if you asked yourself deep down,
do you believe this is possible for you?
I feel like if your true answer was no,
you would struggle so much more than someone
that had the exact same skillset as you,
the exact same circumstances, the exact same amount
of free time, they would have all the same things,
but if they just deeply were like, "I know it's possible,
"like, I know without a shadow of a doubt that like
"this could work out," versus someone who's like,
"I just truly don't believe that this could happen
"for me," I think that that can have a really
big impact and I think that that's where it comes from
is saying like, if you look at enough inspiration
and examples, you're like, "OK, I truly now,
"my mind truly believes that this is possible."
- Definitely. - OK.
So the next thing that you need to kind of wrap your
head around is just, again, it's sort of like
an internal belief that I just want you guys to
internalize and think about and kind of maybe write about.
I don't know, maybe this is something you incorporate into
your affirmations, like Megan said, which I think is
a really good point, is just that you and your content
have value.
So a lot of people, and I think this could be related
to like subconscious stories or how you grew up,
a lot of people, not to say especially women,
because it's not just women, but there's a lot of people
who felt like, their feelings of worthlessness
are tied to, or their worth is tied to like
how someone else perceives them or approval
from other people or the amount of money that they have
or the type of clothes that they wear.
Like, there's all this external stuff and I just
want you guys to really internalize that you
and your content have intrinsic value.
Like, you as a person have intrinsic value.
Your content, even if you teach something similar
to someone else, it's unique because it's from you.
And it has value.
Therefore it has value.
It's just unique and it's yours and no one else
is expressing the same things in the same way
and I just want you to like really know that,
even if you struggle, like I said, I've met so many
entrepreneurs who just have struggled so much
in their life and it has left them with feelings
of worthlessness or just not thinking that they had
any value as a human being, and that can be something
that really impacts you as you try to grow
a business. - I mean, that's something
I struggled with, not that I don't, necessarily, anymore,
but it's, you nailed it on the head for me is
I always put my value and my worthiness in what
other people saw.
So, it's like getting compliments would shoot me
on this high, but then as soon as the compliments stopped,
I felt worthless.
Like, this still, even my husband, he always jokes
that he's like, "I complimented you five minutes ago,
"why are you asking for another compliment?"
I'm like, "I'm sorry, I just really want to know
"that you mean it."
So I struggle with it, I'm not perfect.
But it was definitely a big sticking point for me
and literally the first word I write every day in
my affirmation is "I am worthy."
- I love that. - And it's like
so empowering and like the first time I wrote it
I was like, "I don't know," you know,
but it's like, as you write it, as you truly believe it,
it's like, no I am worthy and my worthiness
has nothing to do with anyone else.
Like it has to do with just me.
And it's super empowering.
- Yeah, I mean, maybe even it means coming
to terms with the fact that like,
even if no one else likes your writing,
or no one else likes your content,
like what would happen, this is kind of like
what we talked about at Sonny's workshop in LA
was like, Sonny and Brandon worked together,
and he was saying like, "Knowing that you're happy
"with the content you're putting out, even if everyone,
"every single person in the world was like,
"'It sucks, I hate your videos, I hate your writing,
"'it's awful,' would you still be OK with yourself?
"Is your worth dependent on what everyone else
"tells you about what they think about you
"and your work or do you just feel like,
"I put out my best stuff?"
Like, that was my best attempt and I'm happy with
what I've put out, even if no one else cares about it
or likes it, and I think that that's a really great way
to just determine like that you do have value
and your content has value.
Even if everyone asked for a refund,
you would still be there and be like, you know what?
What I created is damn good and I don't care if
no one else can see that, I think it has value.
- Yeah, I love that. - It's that deep belief.
OK.
So, the other thing that I think about a lot of times
when I'm scared and I'm scared about making a big
decision, making a big change, starting a new project
that I have no idea, like, is this gonna be worth
all the time and effort?
I mean, this is like, especially the first time
when I created Launch Your Signature Course,
I had never worked so hard and been, like put so much
into a single project.
Like I put a year of work into creating something
with like no guarantee.
But, I never, I would never know what would happen
if I didn't try, and I would always wonder.
And this happens for me with everything.
So there's like projects and business ideas
and things that like I just know that I will have
to create because if I don't, I'll always wonder
what could have happened, and that will drive me insane.
Like, that will be something that will keep me up at night.
Like, you'll never know if you will fail or succeed if you
don't try and that's a safe thing to do, is to not try.
And never know.
But if you're like me, and you kind of feel that tinge
of like, almost like regret for something that
hasn't happened yet and you just are like,
"I will always wonder."
I know for me, like, when I started,
this is a little bit of a tangent.
But when I started Femtrepreneur, and I think,
Megan, I might have explained this to you when
we were driving around Rhode Island the other day,
like, I told Matt, I was like, "I want to try
"to grow a business that's really big,"
and I was like, "I don't even know what that
"would be like, and I don't know if I can,
"and I clearly have no experience,"
but I was like, "If I don't try,
"I'll always wonder if I could have been the person
"that was capable of that," and I was like,
there's nothing, there's no reason I have to do this.
Like there's no pressing reason that I must go out
and like build an empire, but if I don't try,
I will always, always regret it because I will always
wonder, "What was the limit?
"Like, what is truly possible?"
And now I just feel like there is no limit.
Like, now I just know like, oh, there isn't any,
everything is possible.
But that's what I always wonder is like,
you know, the not knowing if I would have succeeded,
or how much it would have succeeded, is kind of
what drives me to do everything.
- Well, they say, I don't want to go dark at all,
but you know, people say that regrets that people have
when they're near the end of their life,
it's never that they, they're not happy that they
didn't take those risks.
It's always that they wished they'd either spent
more time with their loved ones or that they'd
taken those risks and done more with their lives
than what they were.
So, I think, playing it safe feels comfortable,
but taking those risks and putting yourself out there
and being vulnerable, you'll never really regret
the risk, I think you may learn things from it,
every risk may not turn out the way you want,
but it's still usually worth at least trying.
You know, I could ramble on that, but--
- No, I think that's so true.
Just think about like, you'll always wonder, like,
what could have happened if
you'd gone through with it.
And I think that's true.
It's like, not to be depressing, but those are the types
of things people look back and they're like,
"Man, ultimately, what did you have to lose?"
Like, not a lot.
Again, going back to like, what is that worst
case scenario?
It's not as bad as what the potential, you know,
amazing thing that could happen, the best case scenario.
- Yeah. - Yes.
And so, if you guys are thinking about joining
Launch Your Signature Course, I'm just gonna take this
time to encourage you to try it because as I'm saying
right here, it's like, you won't know if you don't try.
And you'll always wonder.
And a lot of times, we get students who
they didn't join the course.
We only opened this course twice a year,
right now we might be changing it to once a year,
but right now we do it twice a year, and they're
open closed enrollments, so you can't get into
the course after that.
But we do always have students who after the current
enrollment closes, that's when they start feeling like
the, "Oh, man," like, "I regret not joining,
"I should have gotten in when I could have,"
and then they'll end up joining six months later
and be like, "Imagine if I had started six months earlier."
You know what I mean?
Like, six months from now, if you're like,
"Darn it, I really wish I had joined Launch Your
"Signature Course," but then you have to wait six months,
wouldn't you rather start sooner and like be that
much farther ahead and have that much of an advantage?
So, yeah.
And of course, I want you guys to join
Launch Your Signature Course because I love working
with out students, it's like the greatest joy in my life
is having our coaching calls and hearing their ideas
and being in the group and like, it's just like
a little family and I love it.
Except it's now a very large family.
(laughing)
It started out as a small family, it's now a giant family.
That you're welcome to join, OK.
So I have one more practical exercise for you guys
as you work through the doubts and fears that are
coming up, and this one comes from my friend
Amanda Bond, who I love so dearly.
She's so, so amazing.
We're in a mastermind together.
And we're at the mastermind last year and I was literally
sitting there sobbing, crying and screaming like,
"Well, what if this happened?"
I was talking about this thing that I really wanted
to do in my business, but I was really scared of.
Like deathly afraid.
Because of all sorts of reasons.
And I just kept saying, "Well, what if this happens,
"what if that happens?"
And like, "What if, what if all of my worst fears
"come true," and I was describing what they were.
What if, what if, what if, and she was like,
"OK, Mariah, like, what if, what if
"the," and it's kind of like the best case scenario,
but she's like, "What if XYZ happens instead?"
She's like, "How about we take every one of your what ifs
"and turn it into the opposite?
"So instead of asking yourself, 'Well, what if, like
"'this bad thing happens?'
"Well, what if this really positive other alternative
"side of that coin happens, right?
"So, everything has sort of two sides
"and if you're saying, 'Well, what if everyone hates
"'and asks for a refund?'"
OK, write it, and she was actually telling me
to write it down, which I did.
She was like, "Write down all the bad what ifs
"and then next to it write down all the good what ifs."
So it's like, "Well, what if nobody buys?
"What if tons of people buy and they all love it," right?
Like, "What if everyone asks for a refund?
"What if I start getting tons of e-mails from people
"who tell me that it's the best course they've
"ever taken?
"What if I mess up the tech and, you know,
"on my launch day, my e-mails don't send out?"
This has happened to us.
And then next to that you'd write like,
"What if all the tech is so much easier than I expected
"and it ends up just feeling super aligned and in flow,"
or whatever.
So it's like, just going through all of your what ifs,
acknowledging them, writing them down, and then
next to them, writing down the alternative what if,
that's like, well, the alternative is that there's also
something really good that could come of it.
And doing that exercise with her really, really helped me
see how much the positives outweighed the negatives.
Like, all the negatives were super scary for me,
but ultimately, I decided that the positives
way far outweighed these like small, very minuscule
chances of something bad happening.
- And I was gonna say, the chances of all the bad
things happening?
(laughing)
Like, very-- - It's so small.
- I can't imagine where every single bad thing
you list is what would happen.
You know, I feel like, even if some of them happen,
you're probably then also gonna have some of those
good things, you know, have a blend.
But I love the idea of like turning it upside down
like that. - Me, too.
It's really helpful and like, it's a real, it's one of
those things I want you guys to do.
I want you guys to sit down with a notebook and take
the time to write out those what if statements.
Because don't just listen to us talk about it.
Like actually go and do it if you start feeling
overwhelmed.
Sometimes I will, because I have anxiety,
I just always feel that way, but because sometimes
I just get this overwhelming like feeling of anxiety
and I haven't even, like I haven't even identified it.
Like, it's just this like, I just feel like I'm so
like, what do I say it?
Like wound up or like I'm so nervous, but I don't even
know why, and it's like, OK, you need to write down
what are the, like, what are the things, what are
you even nervous about?
And a lot of times my boyfriend will be like,
"Why are you so weird?
"Like, what are you even nervous about?"
And I'll be like, "I don't know."
And then he'll like coax it out of me,
and then he's like, "OK, think about that for one second.
"Like, the thing that you just told me is like
"such," like, I'm like, I was like afraid that someone
was gonna like murder me, like that was my true fear.
I'm just gonna say that for all of you.
Like I was like so afraid that like someone was gonna
like find me and kill me, which is like so weird,
and my boyfriend's like, "OK, but that's not very
"realistic," like, let's just like establish
that that's like not likely to happen.
And I was like, "You're so right."
And now I feel better about it.
- I'm proud of you for saying that out loud.
- Yeah, it's not something easy to say, but I also
know it's like, saying it out loud, though,
and I also said it out loud at my mastermind,
and saying it out loud makes it sound as irrational
and absurd as it is, and I feel like until I said
it out loud, it felt like a very real thing
that was gonna happen to me, until like I said it out
loud and then people were like,
people were like, "I don't want to, like, you have
"valid, like everything you say is valid,
"but like, that's not likely to happen."
- Yeah, just puts it in perspective.
Instead of it just sitting in your mind without,
I don't know, I totally get that, but I loved going
through this.
For me, I think all of these tips are really helpful
and practical and I think that everyone is dealing with
varying levels of these issues.
You know, doubt comes up, insecurity comes up
to this day, I still use these whenever that comes up,
like I talked about, when I feel a wave of insecurity
or like I'm not worthy, you know I take these
and still use them and apply them to overcome that.
So, I hope that was helpful for everyone.
Be sure to go to the femshow.com/33 for the show notes
to this episode.
Find the links to all the resources and wonderful people
we mentioned and don't forget that we'll also have a link
on there with information on how you can join
Launch Your Signature Course while it's still open.
It does close the week that this episode is airing,
so if you want to find out right now more about it,
you can just go to launchyoursignaturecourse.com
and find out everything.
And if you want to discuss this episode with us
in our community of awesome online entrepreneurs,
make sure you join our free Facebook group
at thefemshow.com/community.
- And if you like this episode, please subscribe
to the Femtrepreneur Show on iTunes and leave a rating
and review, it means a lot to us when you guys do that.
And if you're watching this on YouTube, leave
a comment below with your thoughts.
I am very curious to hear what you guys have to say
about this episode, I know it's a departure
from the regular training stuff that we usually do,
I want you guys to hit the like button and subscribe
to our channel and don't forget to go to
thefemshow.com, if you have a question that you want
Megan and I to answer, we will give you a shout out
on the show and answer your question.
So we will see you guys next time.
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