My Aunt Sally is on line two. Aunt Sal, what up?
Hey, you did okay the other night.
Yeah.
Just okay?
You did great, babe.
Thank you Aunt Sal.
Yeah, you did real good.
What was your favorite part, any ...
The end of it.
The end of it? Oh. You old bitch.
Good morning squirt nation.
It's You Up with Nikki Glaser. This is Nikki Glaser.
I am in New York City because I am no longer in Los Angeles
because I was voted off Dancing With the Stars.
Two nights ago.
I can't even believe it was just so like two nights ago.
It was so recent.
I'm in studio today in New York City.
Tom Thakkar is not here today, he is in Toronto
all weekend performing at the Just for Laughs Festival,
but today to fill in for him we've got
Puddle Boy Andrew Collin.
Puddle, puddle, squirt, squirt.
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Yup. All right.
All right. And then, this show's off to a great start.
I thought you were going to come in with like a Tom song.
I'm never good at the beginning or the end.
Okay.
In the middle, though, I'm great.
Listen and that's what anyone remembers
is the beginning and the end. And that's why you're ...
A star.
Immemborable.
That's why I used to walk your dogs.
For free.
For free?
Huh? You paid me?
Yes I did. Don't make it sound like you ever walked my ...
I paid you well. Do I owe you money still?
Is that what this is about?
I mean I didn't want to do it on air, but ...
Do I owe you money still?
Just $50,000. No way though.
No, you honestly, I counted, it's three walks you still ...
I still owe you for three walks? Are you serious?
Do I literally owe you for three walks?
I will Venmo you right now.
Pay $60 please. I'll send it right back because I'm lying.
Are you ... do I owe you?
No. What kind of monster would I be?
But you do owe me
for carrying that bag up the stairs last night.
I do, I do. Andrew came over last night.
Ian Fidance is here by the way, everyone. How's it going, Ian?
Hey. I loved you on Dancing With the Stars.
Thank you.
Yeah, it was amazing and I was wondering,
you were dancing so well and the judges were terrible.
I thought one of them-
Yeah, it's like what is your pressing question for me.
Well, I just thought one of the judges,
they had all this time to critique you
but none of them asked how's your butt hole.
And you know what I had so much to say about that.
Can we clear up all Dancing With the Stars ...
can I just, I'll just say Cheryl Burke
who's been on the show since, for 21 seasons,
says they've never had to do this much work on a show,
on the first two weeks of a show.
We had to learn three dances,
usually you do one dance a week in the beginning
and then it gets more intense.
This was I had to learn four dances
but I never got to the fourth but I learned three.
You'll see, I'll post videos from my rehearsals
because I do some pretty impressive stuff
in the third dance, I gotta say.
But I got injured from working on the third dance,
which I never got to perform, and then ...
so I was just, I was bummed man.
I was really sad and Gleb and I weren't really getting along.
Not that I wasn't getting along,
but I was just so disappointed in myself for him
because he's such a good dancer and I want him to be on the show
and when your eliminated you don't ...
he's still going to be featured on the show but I was,
I just felt like such a failure for him and he was mad
that I was injured but not mad at me.
We just, it's such a weird relationship with your dancer.
It's like a relationship and I was like, I feel like Gleb
has filed for divorce and hasn't told me yet.
Like that's kind of the sense I got,
like he's already checked out and then I eventually ...
we kind of connected and had a good moment
before our first dance where he was like,
"You got this, believe in yourself."
And everything.
And I also got a couple emails from people being like,
mind over matter, we know you're injured.
This one friend wrote and email that said she coaches gymnastics
and when her gymnasts get injured
she tells them to repeat the mantra,
"I'm strong, I'm prepared, and this is easy."
So I just started saying,
"I'm strong, I'm prepared, this is easy."
From the moment I was in that makeup chair crying
until show time I must have said it 2,000 times out loud
and just walking around. People thought I was crazy
but then I went to camera blocking an hour after makeup
and I was like about to watch the girl do my dance again
and I started kind of ...
I watched her video from the day before
and I was like teach me how you looked at the camera,
I was asking her to do simple things
where I could actually maybe move and get my ...
and then I started moving and I was like I think I can do this.
And then I went out and did the camera blocking
and Tom Bergeron, the host, was watching was like
I thought you were injured and I was like, "I did too."
It literally like, my mind ... and I am because afterwards
it really hurt and then I got ...
but I was able to get through the pain
by just changing my mindset,
so I've always been someone who's like,
oh you can meditate your way out of pain,
a lot of our physical ailments, our back pain, is just mental.
And people always go, "No, I actually have a tear."
Well I did too but it can be made worse,
an actual physical tear, the pain can be made worse
by the way you mentally think about it.
I know there's an injury there
but you got to change the way you think about your pain
because you really can overcome it.
It still hurt because there was an injury there,
but when you're going through a lot of stress
and you're down on yourself,
your brain needs a place to go put that
and it finds the weakness in your body,
which is wherever you have a tear,
and it fucking beats the shit out of it
until you release that stress and so that's what ...
when I was able to just like wrap my head around
you're strong, you're prepared, you're ready.
It's easy. It was crazy how it worked.
So I was able to dance.
I don't know where I'm going with this.
No, but like your actual dance,
like when you were dancing, did you have to think about it?
Yes, yes, yes. Did the practice-
Yes, that was the problem, because I didn't have practices
going in it was not like second nature to me.
So like I wasn't ... when I do The Tonight Show
I don't have to think about what step is next
because yes it is a set that I've constructed
and I'm not used to saying it in this order,
but there's a cue card in front of me
with the jokes listed in case I forget.
Which I don't because I've said this ...
I know how to do comedy.
But when you're doing a step
and you're like there's another step to come.
The step is coming, you don't get to make a pause and go,
"So what else am I talking about?" Like there's ...
And it's loud in there and it's like-
And if you don't know the step you just don't know
and you do have someone to lead you.
I wish I would have, in retrospect,
I wish I would have thought about dancing
as less of a me on my own
and Gleb kind of just guiding me and
that I would have looked at it as we were both one entity,
and I think that's really hard for me as a comic who's been ...
you're so solitary up there.
I really thought about my performance
and if you look at us, I was dancing like by myself.
I wasn't dancing with him,
and I wish I would have thought of it more as a unit,
which he tried to get through to me so many times.
I really love dancing now.
I'm going to do hip hop dance classes.
I know that I can learn steps.
I wish I would have stayed in the competition
because I would have been such a more fast learner.
It took me a month to learn two dances
that were very similar
but then the third dance I got so much quicker.
And then different styles of dances,
I would have been so good at the fox trot,
like where it's like you just are ...
it's a slower dance. I would have been so good at it.
I kind of got screwed with my dance style up top,
I'm not a sexy salsa mama.
That's a little intimidating coming into the box with.
That's how I always thought of you.
Yeah.
That's how you're in my phone.
A little Latin fox.
But let me just tell you,
being eliminated from a reality show
where it's like ... and the next to go ...
like I was on that show, I've been on that show before
because I've been on Last Comic Standing twice
and been eliminated where they go "moving on".
But I've never had my name said as the eliminated.
You know what I mean? Like it's usually and moving on,
and then your name doesn't get said,
but I've never heard who won't be ...
Do they pause for like 20 minutes.
... and I knew, I knew I was going.
I was staring down at the ground and I knew
they were going to say Nikki and Gleb. I just knew it.
I knew it ... I had so much fun after I danced
because I just wanted to have a good showing,
I wanted to have a good talk time with the judges
and with Tom and with Aaron Anders.
Yeah. Yeah.
I wanted that all to go well and when that was done
there was like a live performance from this girl
whose song Mackenzie Ziegler, she sang the song "Wonderful",
which we have to bump in and out of break the rest of the show
with the song "Wonderful",
it just came out, I'm obsessed with it.
She played it so many times in rehearsals
that I learned the song and so
by the time she played it for the first time on air,
Sia wrote the song so it's amazing
and she's so good,
but I just like danced by myself,
not by myself but we were all up in the sky box
which is like the balcony where all the dancers,
like the little bullpen, and we were all up there
and I just like danced during her performance
and was like this is my last time
to like be on the show, have fun, no cameras were on me,
and I just had the greatest time at this
like McKenzie Ziegler concert is how I treated it.
And then I went downstairs and got eliminated.
And it felt, I just felt bad because I wanted Gleb
to like have his showing on TV.
And he will, like he'll go on and ...
I think Gleb will be fine.
He's going to be fine but he really is so hot.
I met him yesterday.
So yesterday, so I flew to New York immediately with Gleb
and then I go, you know what, I'm going to spin this bitch.
Tomorrow I'm going on Good Morning America,
who has that opportunity that often.
This is still part of the show.
I'm going to kill it on Good Morning America.
So I started writing jokes,
I started strategizing with Gleb,
what are we going to talk about,
how are we going to do the segment,
and I was like we have one more performance, let's nail it.
And we went into Good Morning America
with one hour of sleep,
we both got on the plane, we watched I Feel Pretty
together, I fell asleep, he loved it.
And he's like, "You should do more acting."
Like he was trying to push me into the thing
that I'm actually good at.
And we went on Good Morning America,
we killed, we had the best morning
because whenever Gleb and I dance
it's always a struggle because I'm so bad at it
and he gets frustrated.
And eventually we have fun and we had good rehearsals,
but whenever we would go do press
together, it was so much fun
because I got to shine and show what I'm good at
and I got to teach him a thing or two
because he wants to be better about being on the mic
because English is his second language
and he's like so hot that he like
doesn't have to talk for people to want to like him.
Kevin Hart's going to be in here in a second.
Should we talk to him about having resentments
because I'm sure he has some.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh look it he's getting all ready to come in here.
I'm sure he still hates a lot of people.
Yeah.
He's about to hate one more.
Don't tell him about my teeth. Don't open with the teeth.
He's walking into studio now. I ...
You have poodles? ... what'd you say?
You have poodles I can walk?
Kevin Hart.
Hello.
Hi, I'm Nikki, nice to meet you.
Good to meet you.
This is Ian and Andrew.
Hey Ian. Hey, what's up man.
Let me shake your hand.
They're anticipating that you'll see something in them
and produce something for them.
Yeah, yeah. We were talking.
So you just want to really take in their comedic talent.
No, this is great, I'm looking at them right now.
Yeah, we get it.
Got anything, got it. It's pretty ...
I started at The Laugh House.
Oh get outta here, Philadelphia?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.
In Philly. From Philadelphia?
Yeah. Get outta here.
I'm from Wilmington, Delaware,
I drive up to Philly every night.
Were you in the Mr. Rod Money years or before then?
Mr. Rod.
Mr. Rod Money years, okay, good.
What does that mean?
That was one of the owners.
Oh, okay, all right.
Just testing to make sure that he ain't lying.
He would have agreed to anything you said, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was great.
You there when Derek Jeter had it?
Yeah, yeah. Number two, number two.
Yeah. That's when he was great.
So, Kevin, you just came into a conversation.
We were talking about holding onto resentments.
People in the business early on
who tried to like hold you back as a comedian.
I had a female comic who just hated me
and spread lies about me and rumors to hold me back.
And letting go of those eventually
and I just talked myself through it
and realized I'm still very mad at this person.
I still wish her the worst.
As you kept talking about it you realized that?
Yeah, I just realized. Still festering.
You know I think I'm still angry.
Yeah.
I don't think I've really gotten past it.
What about you?
I'm a different breed. I don't let much bother me.
It's hard to poke a hole in my armor.
Yeah.
The reason why is because and this is going to help you a lot,
it takes so much energy to be negative.
You waste so much energy holding a grudge
or figuring out ways to maintain anger.
Because you got to create it everyday or every time you see
that person you got to conjure up more anger.
Like I was happy but now let me be mad.
Yes.
And that energy is energy that's being misused.
You know, so if you're true to your craft,
you're true to what you really do,
that's energy that should be placed
and put into what you love. If you choose not to do that,
then ultimately you're cheating yourself.
So what I understood at a young age,
and I got tons of rejection,
is that this is what's supposed to happen.
I'm supposed to go through this
because ultimately it's going to stop
and when it stops I'm supposed to be okay and ready
for whatever opportunities that are coming my way.
So instead of looking down on the hate
or the negativity or the nose, I embraced it.
I love that and I was voted off
Dancing With the Stars two nights ago.
I was the first contestant eliminated.
Big story around here, actually.
Huge. Sweeping the hallways, this is Sirius XM.
Very, very huge story as I was walking up they said
are you going to go on the air just know
that she just got voted off of Dancing With the Stars
so don't say nothing about that.
TMZ is in the hallway. I wasn't ...
She'd have a lot of resentment towards you.
That's the last thing that I was going to say
but now that you bring it up,
you made it an interesting topic.
Have you ever done anything where you've agreed to it
and it's been something that is ...
what's been the scariest endeavor
you've taken on professionally I guess.
Scariest endeavor?
Where you've had the most fear,
because I've never danced before in my life
and I was like I'm about to do something
I know I'm terrible at on national television.
Have you ever ...
have you done something like that
and how did you feel on the other side of it?
Tons. There's tons.
Yeah. Tons of things.
What's the most nervous you've been,
or the most oh shit do I have this moment in your career?
The most nervous? It's going to sound crazy
but I'm probably the most confident person in the world
so even when I've been like holy cow,
there's now way, I still would put on a face like I'm okay.
Like I did Fool's Gold, it was a movie called Fool's Gold
that we had to film in Australia.
And I lied. They were like, "Are you okay with water?
Are you okay to get in the water?"
Yes, like I'm actually an excellent swimmer,
you know like this is a true story.
Yeah.
Made it to the junior Olympics.
Yes. Fucking excellent swimmer.
What was your stroke?
100 meter backstroke, 50 meter freestyle.
Nice.
My prime for a minute went between my ages of like 12
and 15 was individual medley, 100 meter IM,
that's when I was like really, really moving.
That was the real deal.
Swam like a 20, 20.2 50 meter freestyle.
Yards. 100 meter backstroke I was probably like the 53,
54 range. I was pretty good.
Real good.
This is all, you can go find this information.
It's online.
I don't know what any of that means
but that sounds really good.
Swim talk.
Swim talk.
That's why my back is so amazing.
But in the movie Fool's Gold, I don't like the ocean.
Like unless I know like where I am in the ocean
and what is in here and I've heard it specifically,
I don't like the ocean.
Australia is a different ballgame
when it comes to the ocean.
Because everything is there. Everything is in Australia.
Great white sharks.
So, you know, they're like are you okay
with getting in the ocean?
I was like yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wanted the job.
Yeah.
Man this scene came up and they're like, all right,
this is where you fall in the water.
And I was like, "Huh?"
It was like these Irukandjis that we kept hearing
about that was the most deadliest jellyfish in the world
but we had heard rumors that they were in the water.
Man, I said guys, "I don't know."
And he was like, "What do you mean you don't know?"
I was like, "I just don't know,
I feel like it's Irukandji in there."
They were like, "But you said you were okay with the ocean."
I was like, "Nah, I know I said that,
I definitely said that, I definitely said."
He was like, "Well, you gotta get in."
I was like, "I just want to take to y'all about it,
I just don't ... I don't know if we need this moment.
Do we really need ..." I like tried to back track
and instantly I said, "Okay, let's do it."
And I did about 13 of the worst takes that you've ever seen.
Like they edited it out of the movie it was so bad.
But I knew it. Like as I'm doing it,
I was like oh this isn't going to see the light of day,
I'm not even acting.
Yes. This is complete fear.
I was supposed to be the tough guy in this situation,
I'm not pulling it off at all.
That was the most uncomfortable I've ever been,
but afterwards I was like it is what it is, shoulder shrug.
Can't change it.
You can't change it.
You can't change it, they saw it, all right.
I know, onto the next thing.
Gotta put that in your back pocket.
Yeah, I mean, but what is the ...
because getting voted off a reality show,
being the first one voted off, like I lost.
Gotta be somebody.
Like I lost the most. It's gotta be somebody, right?
It's gotta be somebody.
What's the most rejection ...
what do you do when you feel that level of rejection
which is like this is the worst I could do
and it happened, my biggest fear happened.
Which, I mean, what level.
I've experienced every level of rejection.
Has it ever got you down in a way
where you really had to overcome it?
I'll give you two good ones.
Yeah.
Comic Strip, Lucien, what's the last name, Holt?
Was it Holts or Hold?
I wasn't around for that, but yeah.
Lucien ... legend for picking talent.
Yeah.
He's the man that discovered Eddie Murphy.
Lucien.
Kevin, you got an audition at the Comic Strip.
Oh my god. I been killing all around town.
I got into every comedy club.
Comic Strip was last. They saved the best for last.
I'm going here and I'm going to kill.
I go perform. Crowd goes crazy. I can admit that my jokes back
then weren't that ground breaking,
this wasn't cutting edge material, but it was good.
It was good enough. Yeah.
I'm a young comic, I'm 24.
Oh my god.
After you get off stage,
Lucien calls you in the back room
and he sits you down so you can find out if you pass.
Oh my, I've never been more confident in my life.
Mm-hmm.
This is it. Lucien had a disease
and I remember his hands and stuff were taped up.
I forgot what disease were, but things would fall off.
Like limbs were falling off, this isn't making a joke.
Leprosy?
Yes. Like this was real.
Right.
So bandages and stuff on but it didn't matter,
like this guy's a legend.
Yeah.
In his most vulnerable state
of the last stages of the disease
that he was dealing with, this man told me,
he said, "Comedy isn't for you."
I'm like what, huh? I'm waiting for the ha-ha.
The punchline.
He said, "Maybe you should pursue something else.
Maybe find a job, but I don't see ..."
Swimming?
And so calm, I just don't see you doing this long.
And I'm like, "What? What are you talking ...
I don't understand."
And you just killed. I just killed.
He's like, that's not, I just don't see talent.
I'm not going to pass you.
And I sat there for a second and I remember his hands
were like up in the air, they had tape on them.
I could have said mean things, I could have been like you ...
I could have said a lot of stuff.
I stared at him for a minute and he was like, "Thank you."
He kicked me out, like within this condition, "thank you".
And I was like, "That's it?" He was like, "Yes, that's it."
I get up, I walk out, my friend Keith Robinson is outside,
Keith's like, "What'd he say, Stupid?"
And I was like, "He told me I should get a regular job.
He told me that this isn't for me.
This is not a good job."
Like I should find something else.
And Keith's honest reaction, he was like, "Fuck him."
I was like, "Huh?"
"Fuck him. So what, Stupid, let's get something to eat."
And Keith is, this is my mentor,
this is like the guy who's been giving me advice or whatever.
He didn't blink two eyes.
Yeah, he knew.
He wasn't devastated at all.
And he said let's get something to eat
and it was like nothing happened.
And instantly I processed that moment as like what is that ...
am I going to stop because of that information?
So what am I holding onto?
Right.
I immediately let it go and we ate. And I was fine.
We went up at a spot later that day
and I just went to the comedy clubs
that accepted me and worked those
and the Comic Strip eventually found out
and they called me later on,
but I'd learned at the young age of 23, 24 to say, "Fuck it."
So many people can't say, "Fuck it."
So many people allow emotion to overtake reality.
Fuck it is reality.
What just happened 30 seconds ago
I cannot change. I don't have that power.
I don't know how to go back in time.
You'll figure it out.
If anyone can figure out the power to go back and change-
If I could I would, but I can't you know wave my hands
and take that time back. It happened.
That's why I address things the way that I do.
That's why I have no problem with admitting right from wrong.
I have no problem with being real and authentic.
I'm a person.
Are you an apologizer? Does that come easy to you?
An apologizer.
Like if you ...
If I'm wrong? ... if you're wrong.
They say never apologize for a joke.
Are you good at being able to be like,
even in interactions with your kids or your wife
or just saying, "I'm sorry", are you a good apologizer?
Because some people struggle with that.
The older you get, the more mature you get.
That should happen. If it's not happening,
then I suggest you sit yourself down and ask yourself why.
You're supposed to get more mature.
Yeah.
I've fucked up a lot. I've done a lot of wrong.
And me doing wrong,
I've realized it's not just wrong it's stupid.
Okay, Kev, how do you grow from stupid?
How do you grow?
You embrace what you did, you own it,
because you made that bed so you lay in it.
After you lay in it, you get out that bed
and you say, you know what,
I don't want to make this bed again for a long time.
Yes.
I don't want to make it again. So I'm now aware. I'm conscious.
So when you say jokes or apologize
for things you say on stage,
I don't say things that are going to put me in a position
to have to apologize because I'm aware.
So the lesson taught to myself, be aware.
Don't be ignorant to what can
because you can always prevent it before it happens.
So before you put yourself in a position to apologize
there's a beat where you get to make a decision,
do I want to throw this shit.
Yes.
Do I want to say this, do I want to call them this name,
do I want to use this term at this moment,
is there another route
that I can take to get the same message across?
There always is.
Do you still make those mistakes though?
And are you still willing to make those mistakes?
Because I hear what you're saying but I ...
when I mess up
it's sometimes hard to acknowledge it and apologize
because then I feel like an essentially flawed person,
but what you're saying is like you can acknowledge that
and say no I'm going to be better from now.
What's wrong with being flawed?
That's a great point.
What's wrong with being flawed?
So many people want to live a perfect life
and I hate that, I'm coming off like such a motivational speaker
but I'm just saying real shit.
So many people want to live a perfect life
but you have no idea what perfection is
unless you've experienced imperfection.
Yeah.
You don't know what perfect
is unless you've experienced imperfection.
In other words, embrace your flaws, embrace your fuck ups,
they help make you ultimately
become the perfect person you want to be.
Yup.
What individual do you believe that's perfect?
Sometimes you look and you go, they are perfect,
but it's all just ...
I don't really know what's going on with them, you know?
You don't ... what does it matter?
So if you're saying I don't want to be flawed,
why, what's my question to you.
Because I don't want to hurt other people,
I don't want to be misinterpreted
and thought of as a bad person.
Like I think there's a fundamental part
of a lot of us that just thinks secretly I'm a bad person,
people are going to find out.
You know what I think? What?
I think you think too much.
Yeah, I do do that.
I think you overthink a thought
before it becomes a real thought.
You're thinking about the thought behind a thought
that maybe
because I think that this could.
Yeah.
It's a bunch of shit that makes no sense.
Like you ... It's a waste of time.
... you have no action yet.
You're thinking about all this stuff
before an action has even taken place.
Kevin Hart is here. He has a new movie out,
Night School, which I haven't had a chance to see yet.
Ian, you saw it. I saw it, yeah.
You loved it. Yeah.
Did you like it, Ian? Yeah, I liked it a lot man.
It's coming out tonight.
There's some funny parts in there, man.
Yeah. Laugh out loud moments.
Yes. I'm so excited about this movie.
Tiffany Haddish, Kevin Hart, what more could you ask for?
And this is a movie about second chances.
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Is what I've heard.
Yeah, just what we were talking about.
That's crazy that it's honestly right on par
with this conversation.
Well tell me how so.
So, back to the point of what we were discussing,
it's a movie about people that feel like
because they didn't get it right the first time
that there's no reason to go back and try again
because they don't want to be perceived
as a person that failed.
I don't want to look like I failed,
I don't want to look stupid, I don't want to look like
I couldn't do it so I'm just going to not do it.
Yes.
Or trying to lie to make it seem like you're not.
You're trying to create a false presentation
of who you are based
on what you think the opinions of others will be.
So in this movie it basically shines a light
on those type of individuals
by looking through a lens of a character
I play named Teddy Walker who's putting on a façade
to a woman that he's very much in love with
and making it seem like he's in a position that he's not.
And when his charm and wit and personality runs out
and he's in a situation where his back's against the wall,
he's forced to get his
GED, he doesn't have a GED but nobody knows.
He has to for the first time apply himself
like he's never had while trying to hide it
ultimately he comes across other people like himself
and they band together and realize
it's okay to be who we are.
Yeah.
And the piece of paper that we look at that
can be sort of the diploma has a much bigger meaning,
that piece of paper makes you feel like hey
I'm making steps in the right direction to succeed in life.
This makes me feel like I can.
That piece of paper, at the older age that he was at,
put him in position to feel like now can.
So this movie is about doing things
that you think you've already ...
it's too late to do them.
Yeah.
But putting on an effort to do that and by doing that ...
by putting in the effort maybe
if you don't even get the piece of paper.
It's still the effort. It's still the effort.
Keep going back. My guy does that ...
That's what I like.
... he doesn't get the piece of paper right away.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's failing.
It's the fine beat of how he's failing.
The GED is a tough test.
Oh no, 100%.
It's a tough test.
It's just saying there's nothing wrong with failing.
There's nothing wrong with it.
Especially later in life, too.
Kevin Hart though, you think Kevin Hart
and you go this guy doesn't fail.
It's so nice to hear that from you
because the reason you seem like someone who doesn't fail
is because you've failed so much
and you have the attitude of someone that says
there's nothing wrong with that. Failure isn't failure.
It's not failure. It grooms you for the wins.
Right now I'm so determined to do so much
because I know what the other side looks like.
Now I know I can't lose.
Because I have so much information on how to lose.
Yes.
So if I didn't take those losses,
then I don't know how to properly take the wins.
And some people take the losses and then they just stop.
Oh fuck that.
Yeah. I'm not doing it again.
There's an analogy my friend Scooter,
Scooter Braun, very, very good dude.
Scooter Braun told me something one day and it stuck with me.
He said, "if I were to tell you that right now I'm giving out
$5,000,000 to the first average individual
that can hit a home run with a pitch
through by a major league pitcher.
He said, there's going to be a line
that probably is the length of the entire city.
There's going to be a line. Crazy people lined up.
The wait in that line could be days
before you get to get up to bat."
He said, "So many people want to get in that line
and they're going to strike out
because this is a major league pitcher.
And when they strike out they have the opportunity
to go back to the end of that line
and wait again if they want to, or not, or they can go 'no way
I'm going to hit this pitch'." Scooter said,
"The difference between me and everybody else in the world,
I'm going to keep getting back in that line
until they stop doing whatever it is they're doing."
Whoa.
He said, "I'm going to get back in that line and wait."
He said because that line's going to get shorter and shorter
because nobody else is going to want to wait.
When he said that, I immediately said to myself,
I would be getting back in the line
because that's the type of person I am.
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
So with that analogy it's a great moment for you
to ask yourself who are you,
do you wait in a line for three days
to take three swings at a ball
that's being thrown at 105 miles per hour,
or do you get up there for the first time and go,
"Oh there's no way I'm hitting that shit."
It could all be based upon how many people quit
and then the last three people
they could get lobs thrown at them.
Yeah.
Because they want to give the money away.
You would never know because you turned your back away
before you got to that point.
I'd be the person that pays someone to wait in line for me.
And then just shows.
And then shows.
That's not a bad idea. Not a bad idea.
Kevin Hart.
How many times are you going to pay them?
I knew I'd come out of this conversation
with you feeling better about just everything.
You're so inspirational.
Thank you.
You're so incredible, I can't wait to see Night School.
Thank you.
My mom I thought went to night school for year,
I was like my mom went to night school
because we'd always drop her off at night school.
Turns out she got a DUI and had to go get classes
and just told me that she was going to night school.
I always go, "Mom, but you went to night school right?"
She'd be like, "No I didn't."
And I go, "I remember dropping you off there."
DUI.
DUI.
Kevin Hart, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you.
Thank you for all your wisdom and, god,
I just love you so much.
See Night School, it is in theaters everywhere.
Let's make this a huge box office hit.
Tiffany Haddish and Kevin Hart. I can't wait.
Night School is the movie, Kevin Hart, thank you so much.
Thank you. Piece of good gym dropping for you before I go.
Dancing With the Stars was dope simply
because you got a platform to show
that I'm okay with not being comfortable.
Yes.
And now that you did that,
now you're back to being comfortable.
Move on. Yes.
It's over. I love you Kevin.
Love you guys, appreciate you all.
Thank you so much. Take it easy.
All right, we'll see you guys next week on the show,
thanks for hanging out with us this week.
Squirt, squirt.
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