Waching daily Feb 21 2019

only you can decide ultimately what you want but have the conversation make a

conscious decision partner with them don't just be told this is how you're

going to be treated

hi thanks for clicking on Simply Tanika I am Tanika if you are new here welcome

hit that subscribe button let's hang out a while if you are returning welcome

back what's that fertility BAM we got to do

what let's get those babies ladies - how are

you I hope you were well I wanted to come on today and give a quick update I

got a lot of questions about my experience with our ma New York and I

did do one video specifically on my experiences but I didn't summarize why I

would not recommend them and so I wanted to come on here and clarify because I've

just gotten a lot of emails so I would not recommend RMA New York for the

following reasons I only saw my doctor twice she only did my vaginal exam once

which was what which was at my intake meeting so you know you go in you do all

your paperwork they look at your test results she did my first ultrasound and

that was the only time that I had an exam by her the second time I saw her

was after I'd had a couple of our you eyes that had not been successful for

her to check in with me and she was pressuring me into donor eggs and she

was like you know she had said that in my intake you could be pregnant tomorrow

she said it again during this like you know summary visit or recap visit to

kind of go over my protocol and so I just thought it was odd and now that I

am at a different place I my doctor is the one that does my vaginal exams I see

her the only time I thought she didn't do it was there she was in the room

there was a resident or RA was there doing it but my doctor was in the room

and then there was another time where I was late and so I think a PA did my

vaginal exam for my chickens my checkups but other than that

my doctor sees me when I go in for my re appointments at my new place that did

not happen at RMA it was whoever was on duty which is why I dubbed it the baby

factory they cannot have the volume of clients

that they have they cannot run the volume of clients that they do with

losing some of that personal touch right so in order for them to see so many

people they have to rotate the doctors rotate the patients through so I have

not run into my new clinic where it has been crowded my new clinic doesn't even

have enough seating to have as many people in their waiting room as RMA has

in both of their waiting room so I went to the east side and the west side

office I was doing frozen donor sperm and so they only did that over on the

east side but my original clinic was on the west side and that was closer to

work so yeah there's the seats or there were so many seats and I remember that

for my very first visit of like why are there so many seats in Harrods they have

a huge volume of card which is great because that means they can serve more

people if that's ok with you I am a first-class girl meaning I I fly

first class I like that high touch experience I

expect to be treated when I go to the doctor like I am in first class not an

army you are in steerage you are in steerage from beginning to end and you

might get a snack that day and you might not depending on if they run out at the

back um yeah and this is the little things in my new clinic there's apples

when you go in there's water for you hot water cold water tea coffee it's just a

different experience and so I just felt like a number at RMA I also aside from

that let's just say you're like oh no problem I fly coach all the time and you

have no issue with that no judgment either way hopefully here not judging me

the other thing is I just think the protocol because of the Bailey Factory

nurse was off because for example you go in at the beginning of your cycle when

you're doing okay cycle cycle day two through four

are may they only did blood work there was no ultrasound so I could have had

cysts left over from before anything could have been going on in my uterus

and no one would have known I took bloodwork based on that blood work it

was determined whether or not I would be medicated one time my FSH was too high

so it was decided I would not be medicated although other than that fine

they called it into the pharmacy I wouldn't picked up my mouse and I

started that medication that night and continued it I would not see anyone

again until I would go in for my mid cycle scan which was only as dead there

was no blood work what I know now is it's hard to determine just based on

that scan the range is 18 to 22 or 18 to 20 millimeters for the size of the

follicle for them to determine it's probably mature where I am now they use

that size in conjunction with my estradiol e 2 to see if in fact those

the correlation of those two data points indicates that my follicle has a mature

egg in it so and I think it's the range was like 100 to 200 per follicle so for

example if I had an 18 millimeter follicle and my e to was 20 then we know

that that does not have a mature egg right but if my e 2 is 100 150 then it

likely has a mature egg in it the only thing they use in RMA was the size of

the follicle which now I know was not good enough because I've had it at the

new clinic where my fallible has been the right size but my each you indicated

it was not ready and so we continued waiting for it to grow at the new clinic

if it's close they will have me come in daily to have my bloodwork done and an

ultrasound done to see how I'm progressing at RMA they did not do that

and in fact one time my lining was not thick enough another time my follow bows

were not the right size let me explain so they would set it up at our May a

time you would five days let's say I had five days worth of meds right so I was

taking letrozole five milligrams or seven point five milligrams depending on

the cycle I would take that for five days five

they would help me come back in thousand they would do the scan pretty much at

that scan they would told me to trigger that night and then come back two days

later for my UI there was not a lot of variants in that that was the plan

they stuck very closely to the plan there was one time when my lighting was

not thick enough and my follow bows were not big enough at that mid cycle that

the doctor who was seeing me told me not to trigger that night and that she

needed to talk to my doctor to determine a path forward she said if you don't

hear anything from me trigger tomorrow and come back two days later I didn't

hear anything so I triggered and I went in where I am now if my lighting has not

been thinking that for the follicle has not been the right size they don't

schedule me for a trigger they have me come back they have me come back they

check out what my body is actually doing and then basically fall on that so it's

not a checklist predetermined without variance it is actually in real-time so

RMA it was checklist again which further supports my belief or my feeling that it

is a baby factory the other thing is with the timing it didn't always feel

like it made sense like no matter what it was 36 hours later 36 hours after

trigger I was scheduled for my UI no matter what at the new clinic depending

on what my blood work comes back because again they're doing blood work at the

mid cycle scan RMA was not if my blood work indicated that I was nearer to

ovulating on my own at my new clinic they adjust my trigger and then my

insemination based on that for example there was a time where we were waiting

for my lining to thicken at my new clinic my follicles were very close to

being her sure we were checking my eju checking my luteinizing hormone which as

you know indicates populations covered and she also had me take OB days at home

she wanted me my art he wanted me to test my ovulation in the afternoon and

in the morning to see what was going on when I had a positive opa I'm all I was

already scheduled to go when I went in that morning the blood work also

indicated that my body was priming for ovulation

they had me triggered that night then they had me come in the next morning for

my UI so that the timing was right right we didn't want to wait 36 hours because

we would have missed the ovulation I RMA we don't know because we did not do the

blood work at the time we did the scan how close I was to ovulation if my

follicles are actually mature based on two pieces of data correlating we were

only going on the sides of the follicle which now that I know doesn't always

clearly indicate because again it could be 18 and have a mature follicle it

could be 20 and not have a mature follicle I've had those instances at my

new clinic at our Mei who were missing key pieces of data to make decisions in

a procedure that is very time specific particularly because I was using frozen

sperm which has a shorter life right it's only 12 hours it's not like fresh

sperm that has four days now and that's four days without washing washing fresh

sperm may reduce it not the point of this conversation but it wasn't

optimized it was baby factory and there are no published rates of success for

Rui so I don't know if our may has successful IUI or what their rate is or

if their you've been striving for us specific rate because it's not reported

it's not recorded in any way it's not something I can pull up online the same

way that IVF is right IVF there is a registry SAR T they

report it it's like a year it's actually two years back so right now the 2015

report is finalized 2016 is in draft those numbers are reported so they have

a higher standard it feels like which is why and our May they did not want to do

IVF with my own eggs because it would not be good for their stats it didn't go

up the donor egg gave them a higher chance of success so that's what they

wanted and it didn't matter that that child was not biologically

related they were pushing that hard and fast that's a whole separate issue

because some people will go the route of donor eggs and they're ok with that and

they're fine and it's not that I wasn't okay with it it just wasn't the wrap for

me and I did not like feeling like I was in the baby factory

so no ultrasound at the first visit of the cycle

no bloodwork at the second visit of the cycle no variance in my protocol based

on what my body was doing and I did not get to see my doctor those are the four

reasons why I would not recommend to army of New York hopefully that covers

the questions that I've been getting if not I'm happy to do more videos there's

anything specific you want to talk about again I went to both the east side and

the west side our MA in New York I never went to Jersey or any other RMA I don't

know if they're all the same I would caution anyone who's going to any clinic

when you go for your first initial consultation ask them what their

protocol is asking what you can expect ask how often will I see you when I'm

coming in for my exams after a while at RMA it became a running joke for me like

I'm meaning a doctor and then they're inside my vagina like it was weird and

you kind of get desensitized to it it does I just felt like I was on an

assembly line or again I was in steerage it just didn't matter I didn't feel like

I got a high touch level of care but I would ask how often am I going to see

you doc will you have blood work and ultrasound at my first cycle visit the

beginning of my cycle will you have blood work and ultrasound and my mid

cycle visit and then ask why or why not so that you have some sort of engagement

and I think also it lets a doctor know that you're informed about the process

and that you want to partner with them and you're advocating for yourself for

what you want and in something of the world if they say no they don't and

you're okay with that or if your doctors you'll never see me but I guarantee you

get a baby like only you can decide ultimately what you want but have the

conversation make a conscious decision partner with them

don't just be told this is how you're going to be treated ask and agree that

that's how you want to be treated because you're paying for it whether you

the best interns in the world it's all out-of-pocket you are paying for your

insurance pays it on your behalf or you're writing a check out of your own

account so you just have the best you deserve the best and you deserve to know

what level of treatment you can expect so that's my two cents that's my two

cents on my friends with RMA and my advice to you for when you meet with a

new reproductive endocrinologist like what you should ask about what to expect

levels that those expectations from you getting it will be so much smoother down

the road God knows there's enough to deal with on this road to our babies

right alright ladies that's it I will talk to

you later bye baby does to you