Today's topic: Pain Provides You Three Choices
Hi I'm Doug Holt with Author of Your Own Story and this is your daily growth hack
where each day would give you a tip trick or insight to help you up level
will we call the five to thrive that is your mind your body your soul your
relationships and your business pain is just part of life we all go through pain
paintable of an event a loss of a loved one pain - physical either way pain
provides us three ways to respond to it and I want to want you to do is think of
these three ways and think about which one you actually fall into more often
and just be honest with yourself the first one is the initial reaction to
ignore the pain or or blame others and this is events in your life other people
or blaming yourself now you can ignore it and act like it
didn't happen and bury it and stuff it deep down inside of you like we often do
that's what I used to do a lot of times is you know do that or you also see
people playing the victim role we talked about that in last daily growth act they
play the victim role and they blame themselves or they might actually blame
somebody else and it's that person's fault that their suffering or the
feeling the pain and you know I most recently talked about seeing this with a
breakup even it was a long time ago but the pain was still there for the person
about the break-up and they were still blaming and playing the victim role
seeking attention to blame the other person so that that's one way so one way
you can deal with pain is by blaming other people blaming yourself or just
ignoring it the second way you deal with pain is just changing your life
conditions right so you could be pain or something going on you can just go ahead
and say you know what I didn't pay a bill and I got someone saw that and I've
just causes a lot of pain because it damages my psychology because you know
Susie knows that I don't have money and so I'm gonna work really hard to make
money so you're you're changing your life condition so maybe I get another
job so I'm working two jobs so I have enough money that I'm always paying my
bills or maybe there's pain in the sense that really simple like hey my knees
hurt when I run and so I'm gonna change my life
conditions in the sense of I'm gonna get better running shoes I'm gonna get a
running coach it's gonna teach me pose running I'm gonna drop some weight
change my diet so my body doesn't have so much weight on my knees I'm gonna
foam roll my calves so there's a shock absorbers etc etc so the second way you
can deal with pain is just by changing your life conditions the third way you
can do it is by changing your blueprint and we haven't really talked about the
blueprint but the blueprint and what I'm talking about is really changing your
physiology your focus and your meaning so changing the way that you can respond
to things we talked about physiology before when I mean by that is you know
chest out shoulders back the way that your physiology is shows a commanding
performance or chest down shoulders rounded really shows kind of a
depressing physiology so to speak but also your focus and meaning so what you
choose to focus on we experience that pain and then what you make that mean
and that's really important here cuz that changes your blueprint or the way
that you see things so let's go back to that breakup so I'll just talk about if
is if I was that person that went through the breakup and it isn't me but
I'll ask it act as if so instead of playing the victim role and blaming
somebody else one thing I could do is change my physiology well one you know I
can imagine that if I was hurt my shoulders would be slumped my head would
be down and you could picture somebody that's going through an emotional hurt
or a breakup that's really sad for them but instead maybe what I do is I take a
deep breath diaphragmatic breath I put my shoulders back my head up my chest
out and I get a really powerful stance you know feet nice and wide I'm really
in a powerful stance then maybe I changed my focus instead of focusing on
the hurt from the break-up maybe I'm focusing on the opportunities
that are that are out there now there's so many people to meet now I have some
free time I can actually go on and do the things that I like to do and by
doing that I'm changing the meaning Wow you know yeah this broke up break up
hurt but geez I got all these opportunities now I can go to events I
can really focus my time on my personal development I can really focus on me so
I can now I can attract a better higher quality person a better fit for me I can
really just really live life and you can see by going through that store
so that story of changing my physiology changing what I'm focusing on changing
my meaning it's a totally different outcome so instead of going through
depressed mode right super depressed you know blaming everybody else I'm now
changing it to all the positives and really it's just a matter of changing
those three things my physiology that allows me to get into that state of
opportunity or possibility and then I'm changing my focus what am i choosing to
focus on am i choosing to focus on the negative or am i choosing to focus on
the opportunities or something different and then when I focus on something
different I can also change what it means right it's just a shift now
changing what it means really isn't really not changing anything when you
think about it I have an opportunity to create a story over here about me being
a victim or creating another story over here about me being the hero and having
all these other opportunities in my life now my reality is the same but yet also
kind of totally different when you think about it I'm just choosing to be the
author of my own story and choosing which story fits me best now if I go
into victimhood a lot of things are gonna happen probably there's a greater
opportunity of my immune system going down and getting sick who wants to hang
out with somebody that's in victim role all the time unless you're in victim
role you're codependent you know you don't want to be around those people
anyway right so but coming up with someone it's positive and someone goes
Jesus breakup really hurt but however it just wasn't the right person now I'm
able to work on myself so I can attract draw in and bring in the right person
I'm gonna focus on myself I'm gonna do those things
I loved this is a great opportunity for me and that is just a different energy
and a different story and that is exactly what being the author of your
own story is all about I hope this helps you what I want you to do is grab your
general write out your 5 to thrive and look at where you've had pain in these
areas you know come and when I hear about and the author of your own story
group and I get messages is wait you know pain and wait pain and
relationships with a breakup where you experiencing pain I want you to write
down what that pain is you know what you to write down which of these three
choices have you made currently in that area now if you've chose the victim role
that's fine don't beat yourself up but then choose something else choose to
change your life conditions or I would say go even deeper choose to change your
blueprint so change your blueprint what your physiology is what you're focusing
on and also what you make it need know and do this all through your five to
thrive of course I want you to build your tribe I don't want you to have a
tribe of victims people around you or or naysayers and negative you know you
don't need that in your life you need people are gonna uplift you put wings
under you and lift you up as you lift them up to you even start by lifting
them up and building your tribe by sharing this with three other people
grab the first three people that come to your mind share it with those three
people and to take a bonus step what I recommend doing is something that I do
is share it with somebody that you want a relationship with and this is not a
romantic relationship so to speak but someone that you want a relationship a
friendship to have with somebody that you look up to or somebody you're saying
hey look this person is in my avatar this person's doing what I want to do
I'm gonna share it with them and bridge that conversation so do that right now
don't stop in a moment of insight without taking a
in action that's it for me today remember go out and be the author of
your own story
For more infomation >> Longchamp Garden Hotel Changsha, China (Asia). The best of Longchamp Garden Hotel Changsha - Duration: 5:02. 
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