Valentine's Day is coming. Do you know what you're gonna get for your wife girlfriend mother of your children
female love of your life
Hey howdy hey trainwreck, how are you today? I am the glorious turn wreck mom
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I went looking for a topic for today because Valentine's Day is coming up you'll be watching this on February
February Friday, holy cow the second it's late for me. I haven't slept sure
You'll be watching this on February Friday. This is the second and
That means you only have about 12 more days to shop for Valentine's Day
What are you gonna? Get her you don't know do you?
I'm here to help you out the first thing. I'm going to tell you is do not
Gifts for her Valentine's Day you know why?
Cuz you're gonna get a bunch of idiotic
Suggestions and none of them are gonna. Be what she wants unless you're either independently wealthy and/or have no children
Because there is no way on this goddess Green Earth
That if my husband ever thought to get me a leather
Beret oh, I'm making this up children. Oh, no I am NOT making this up a leather beret for like
$300 are you kidding me just because the queen bee herself has one just like it
I'm new new new new new new new new new new new new first of all oh no
Sit down take several seats if you have to but you need to sit down for this one
Yeah, see you know what?
$325 is my electric bill
You know why because Ben 20 below zero outside you spent $325 on a stupid leather beret you get divorce. That's coming for you
Okay, no there's no reason any human being should be spending $325 on a leather beret
They're stupid looking and just because of celebrity wears it seriously. No just stop that and there is no way
No way on this goddess green earth should you walk into Victoria's Secret and?
walk out with something that has less fabric than the dollar bills you paid for it I
saw something
$55 I was like it's a hanger
Where'd it go do we read this story called the Emperor's New Clothes just spend fifty five dollars
Wear it I
Don't do this do not do this is if your wife is anything like I know she is or your girlfriend
She don't want any of that okay, and if you have kids especially
No she want that
Roses die a night on the town is a credit card bill. She's just gonna have to look at it a month
Okay, and the lingerie looks really nice when it's balled up at the foot of the bed
But she's the one who's gonna have to wash it. Hopefully not with a tide pod that got pulled out of a teenager's mouth
guys
You're better than that you're smarter than that you know. This is your wife your partner
These are the people you share a domicile with you'll live with these people how do you not know what they want?
How can you not know it's your job to know?
she wants the field war then like the woman who just drags the kids around the soccer and
Ballet and scouts and PTA she wants to be more than just the bring her home of the good of the groceries
She wants to be more than the clean a cleaner up of of potty
Accidents and the booger wiper she to be more than just the woman who cooks meals that your family won't eat anyway
You know how to do that
You know you know how to do that because you wouldn't be married if you didn't do it to start with
Am I right?
You wined and dined and I'm not gonna finish that because I keep it family-friendly Feliks around here habilis
You made her feel like a woman you made her feel more than and over the course of years. It's normal
We take advantage of that we get comfortable we get used to it. That's why I look the way I do I got comfortable
Okay, but you know you had it in you then you have it in you now
Make the time
That's the gift she wants
She wants time and whether that time is to take a bubble bath
without the bathroom door looking like a scene from The Walking Dead with hands reaching through trying to get to her or
Whether it's and I'm telling you. This is a thing guys
she sorts a poop alone I
Know that sounds weird. She just wants to poop alone. She would do anything to have 15 minutes in the bathroom
without having to here
Don't care okay, something's trying to be accomplished at that moment don't want to hear it, okay
They want to be able to
Get dressed and not worry about having spaghetti thrown at them some of us are okay with pizza for for Valentine's Day dinner
We don't need a fancy night outside Valdez says on a Wednesday this this year. Are you kidding me?
Who wants to work all day and then?
Go fight the crowds at a restaurant
You gotta be kidding me. You know what she wants come home and have no laundry to do or put away
She was to come home to a clean sink
vacuum floors
She wants to not have to worry about the bills
She wants to not have to worry about
Are the kids gonna be okay?
I never now and then be nice if the kids got dressed the first time that mom asked or the second
Before it was time to leave
Looking for shoes still I digress mom would like to be able to take a nap
Mom would like to be able to sleep in
Don't do the breakfast in bed thing okay. I see that a lot. Don't do the breakfast in bed thing seriously
comes in the bed
Don't let the kids cook unless your kid are like mini Gordon Ramsay's or those little kids Darrin are on the kid Top Chef thing
Don't let them cook didn't cook breakfast you're insane
Have you ever seen what a six-year-old eats?
Seriously, they eat hair and boogers. Why would you let that cook a breakfast for your wife?
And then put it in front of her to wake up to are you nuts that's just that's terrible don't do that
That's terrible parenting don't do that. That's just--that's know
When all else fails though, I'm going to tell you the big one
95% of us are a big fan of this
Don't do anything on Valentine's Day wait till the day after
the teeth
national 50% off chocolate day
That's the way to a woman's heart right there chocolate makes everything better hot chocolate milk chocolate
dark chocolate chocolate covered strawberries
Dude, yeah, chocolate is life chocolate isn't amazing and when it's 50% off
It's like buy one get one free so you should totally look into that other than that
Give her the time
Give her the time to find out what she wants talk to her give her a reason to put her phone down
Okay, you guys can do this. I know you can because you did it before you can do it again. Don't worry
I'm gonna have a female version of this soon, so don't panic. I'm not just picking on you guys
I know it sounds like it it
I am but I'm gonna have a female version of this too because we're guilty of it, too
We get complacent we get lazy we get comfortable. I get it okay
Make her feel like the woman. She is not just the mom not just the slapper groceries, okay
That's all I've got for today train wrecks
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Don't they you know they do you know they do I?
Know it's not an eagle student shirt. I know but it's the best
It's the best I can do right now because I don't have one. I know it's that
I do not have one. So this is the best I got right now
I know you guys are probably like why is she wearing a hockey jersey
because Sunday, I'm going to witness history I
Hope I pray because my father might have a heart attack either way. I don't know
But so there's that so let's hope for Sunday as I've said before this
Channel is a safe space for all train X except here. We don't give you a puppy in a latte
We give you sarcasm and humor my books
Platitudes of gratitude and all your fault are available in eBook and paperback on Amazon you can follow me on
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witchy
10-14 that's with two E's
That's all I've got for today trainwreck so all aboard
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