how's it going everyone
I'm Dono and this is how to happy in
this video we're going to be talking
about the danger of using labels so what
I mean when I say the danger of using
labels is when something happens so
let's say that you smoke cigarettes
right there's two ways that you can kind
of define that action one is to label
yourself and say I'm a smoker the other
one is to say I'm someone who smokes now
that might seem really nuanced and a lot
of you're probably like there's not really a
difference between those two things but
the difference is in one you actually
identify with the action right I am a
smoker that becomes an integral part of
your identity you're saying that's part
of who I am but if instead you saying
I'm someone who smokes then that means
that you have your identity separate and
occasionally or often doesn't really
matter you engage in this activity
now this distinction is really key
because of the way that you integrate
these actions with yourself or not
having certain labels assigned to you
can put you into a fixed mindset if you
haven't watched the video on fixed and
growth mindsets you might want to do
that but basically it just means that
you're not as open to change because you
don't really believe that it can happen
so if you have these labels and you
don't think that you can change them
then these behaviors continue to happen
even if they're negative on top of that
people will use it to justify not
changing right if someone says hey are
you going to stop smoking well I would
love to stop smoking but I'm a smoker
right it's part of my identity now the
longer that you hold on to these labels
the more ingrained they become in your
mind so if you've been going around
saying I'm a smoker for 15 years then by
the end of that 15 years right
it's going to be really really tightly
buried into your identity so that when a
challenge comes either from yourself or
from someone else you're going to have a
hard time changing
now i've used being a smoker several times
just as an example but this applies to
tons of other things right I have a
really bad temper if that is something
that you associate with your core being
then you're not going to feel like it's
something that you can change the deeper
you associate with a certain label the
more it becomes a habit and the stronger
that habit becomes another way that
these labels can come into play is you
know when you kind of blow stuff out of
proportion so if you play a game and you
lose sometimes people will assign
themselves a label I'm a loser which
again
identifies you with that attribute so
then going forward you feel like that's
part of your being and you feel like oh
I'm just gonna lose at everything I do
you'll find ways to end up sabotaging
yourself so that's why labels can be
really dangerous and tricky to navigate
now the same thing happens when you
start giving labels to other people
right so if you're continually calling
you know your friend handsome smart
stupid whatever the label is it's going
to impact their thought processes about
what they identify with now you know
there's definitely a range some people
have a stronger core identity than
others and are less impacted by what
other people say but for example if 50
people say that you're rude you're going
to start having to consider that you're
rude and then you might tie that into
your identity and then you might you
know be rude but then when somebody says
oh you're rude well yeah that's just how
I am
when really the underlying issue is you
haven't quite figured out or learned
some of the nuances of communication
that's a very big difference I've been
going back to this fixed versus growth
mindset that I've been talking about so
you need to be really careful not only
of the labels that you take on for
yourself but how people around you are
labeling you or how you allow them to
label you as well as what you're putting
out on to other people or how you're
labeling them this is how a lot of times
people get really damaged self-esteem is
because the people around them aren't
paying attention to the kinds of labels
that they're giving them and then before
long they've built themselves these real
really negative habits that are hard
to break out of now I'm going to walk
into some territory that might be a
little bit controversial but I feel like
a lot of these labels that are applied
to mental health can sometimes be a
problem right so if you give someone a
diagnosis of depression then you're
essentially saying being depressed is an
integral part of your being as opposed
to saying you're someone who is prone to
depression in my experience those are
two very different things right
one says okay no matter what you're just
going to be depressed being depressed is
a part of your life and that may be true
right I don't want to navigate away from
the realities of mental health concerns
right I don't want to say that if you
are diagnosed with depression that it's
not something that you have to battle
with because it definitely is but if you
are identifying as I am a depressed
person then it takes away power from
some people as opposed to saying I'm
someone who's prone to depression right
if you're framing it this other way
where it's not necessarily part of your
identity but something that you deal
with and manage that can make a big
difference now going along with what
I've been talking about about labels
they don't all affect people the same
way right some people may say both of
those phrases and it means pretty much
the same thing to them but for others
right saying I'm depressed or I have
depression as opposed to saying I'm
prone to depression can make a huge
difference in the way that they frame it
in their mind and the steps that they
take to work against it when for a lot
of people there are a lot of steps that
they can take to help reduce these
issues but if they've identified with it
at the core they may just accept a life
that doesn't bring them as much
happiness as they could potentially have
so the core again I'm not saying that
these aren't real struggles because they
definitely are depression is the example
that I brought up because it's something
that I have dealt with in the past but
these framings can make a huge
difference right one can put you in a
mindset of no matter what I do I'm going
to be depressed and the other is I could
get depressed but maybe there's things
that I can work on and if
there's anything that we are going to do
to manage some of these conditions and
work through them then we have to have
the belief that we can make changes and
that it's not necessarily a core part of
our identity that won't change with
effort so all in all what I'm trying to
get at and just be careful with the
kinds of labels that you apply to
yourself and those that you apply to
others they can make a really big
difference in how we view ourselves and
the type of images that we create and
then act on so you know they can be
positive or negative but just take some
time to reflect on some of the labels
figure out where you are what ones are
helping you what ones aren't which one
might be true which ones may not be true
it's just as usual a call to reflection
to think about the kinds of labels that
you put on things let's move on to the
exercise section one what are some
labels you give yourself so for example
smart fat strong weak two how are these
labels impacting your life 3 what can
you do or think to gain experience which
contradicts your negative labels for
example I'm antisocial well if that's
the case what instances have you been
outgoing what people do you connect with
naturally right you need examples that
counteract to this idea of I'm
antisocial and that is part of your
identity four what labels are you giving
to others around you that could be
negatively or positively impacting their
life that's all I've got for this video
again just you know focus on your labels
kind of figure out what you're getting
from others what you're giving yourself
what you're giving out that's going to
give you a little bit more awareness and
eventually you can kind of start working
on how you label yourself and others to
increase your happiness as always if you
have any questions comments or topics you want
me to cover
feel free to throw them down in the box
below and I will see you next time you
can check out more content at how to
happy.com also don't forget to
subscribe so you can stay up to date on
the videos we've also got a Twitter
Instagram and Facebook you can check
out reflect take action and enjoy life
see you next time
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét