I'm trying a new angle.
Mostly because a poster fell down [laughter].
Hey everyone and welcome back to Fistful of Feminism.
My name is Monica and today, I want to talk about allyship.
This is the first in a lot of videos that I'm going to be making about allyship.
This was one of the most requested videos, that I've had from a lot of people, is about
allyship and things like when to speak, when not to speak, when to step back, when to listen,
what allies can do.
Especially after the US election, what allies can do to intervene in situations and things
like that.
Usually in videos like this, I will give a long list of things that you can do and ways
you can take action, but for this video, I felt like I needed to say something else.
And the reason for this is that there are a LOT of resources online, especially a lot
of resources written by women of colour, specifically talking about this exact subject.
And I think a lot of that goes ignored because a lot of the content of those lists are not
what people want to hear.
So this video is going to be pretty blunt, pretty honest to me, and maybe not what other
POC folks would tell you, depends on our situations.
But I've come up with a couple of things that I'd like to say to allies and I'd like to
keep this thread of videos going because I think it's going to be ever evolving.
So, Dear Allies: It's not a competition on how much you know about oppression.
I'm not interested in you explaining to me my oppression.
I'm not interested in hearing that you GET IT, that you have read about it, you are WOKE,
that you understand.
I'm not interested in that.
I'm interested in a conversation that will actually go somewhere, a conversation that
actually centers my experience (if we're talking about my experience) or the experiences of
WOC (specifically for white allies) that we're talking about.
I'm interested in the experiences of the folks that are underrepresented.
I don't care or want you to prove to me that you are woke, or that you understand what
I'm talking about.
If you understand, than just carry on the conversation, and if you truly understand,
you'll know that you need to step back a lot of the time, and just listen.
So a lot of the time I feel like allies feel like they need to prove that they know what's
going on, but I think that true allies, and I feel like I'm going to be getting away from
the word allies because it's just been too butchered for me tor really trust it anymore,
but true allies are looking to not put themselves in the centre of attention.
True allies are looking to be there, to do the hard work that is necessary, and to not
have to prove that they've read the same articles as me or they know what whitewashing is or
they know what intersectionality means.
I don't care, I don't care! [laughs].
Another thing that I think that allies need to hear is you don't always get to joke about
the same things I get to joke about.
There's a huge difference between me making a joke and poking fun at the things that oppress
me, and you doing it.
A lot of that is just tact.
So it's one of those things where if I've experienced it, I get to speak to it, if you
have not, you don't get to speak to it in the same way.
I feel like this is so common knowledge, at least it should be, but it just doesn't seem
to be a very common thing in my communities where people are allies so... yeah I just...
it's not funny when you make the jokes.
Dear Allies: You need to follow through on the things that you say.
I don't particularly care if you say that something is feminist, or that something is
revolutionary, or that it's anti-racist or decolonizing.
I care if that is backed up with action, and with the action that is appropriate.
If you're saying these things, but not willing to actually follow through on it, AND not
willing to be called in or called out about it, that's not true allyship.
Just stating that you know what it means doesn't mean you're doing the hard work to actually
make it happen.
And I have ABSOLUTELY been guilty of this.
I am ALWAYS learning along the way.
Do you think I really understood words like "anti-racism" or "decolonizing" when I was
first starting out?
No, I didn't.
And I needed to be called out by people in order to understand that I wasn't doing a
good enough job.
And in a lot of ways I still don't think I'm doing enough, and that's why I'm continuing
my education and listening to other people, and going to events in which I don't speak.
I'm there to listen and to learn because that is my responsibility.
And I will always be striving to do more, there's never a point in which, in this work,
you've hit the top and you know everything.
That's just not how it works.
That's not how it works for POC folks so that's definitely not going to be how it works for
(white) allies.
This should be an obvious one but, Dear Allies: if you're speaking more than the people that
you're actually speaking about, you're doing it wrong.
Don't speak over us.
Let us speak.
Let us not speak as well and understand your own place in all of this.
Dear Allies: I'm not your walking educational tool.
Yes, I have chosen to put out videos like this.
I've chosen to speak with people about these issues, but if you really want me to educate
you, pay me.
And I know that sounds kind of bizarre when we're talking about anti-capitalism and anti-oppression,
but how it stands right now, people extract knowledge from POC folk.
They extract knowledge for their own gain and don't recognize or don't compensate the
POC folks that they're actually extracting the knowledge from.
And using knowledge for your own gain vs. the gain of the people that you're actually
supposedly trying to "help" is SO FUCKED UP.
If you don't want to do this, then you need to credit the people that you are speaking
to when you're gaining knowledge.
So just think of it like an essay.
If you're talking to someone about something that a POC person has taught you, you credit
them when you put it in your essay, you don't just claim it as your own thought, you don't
get to claim that you are somehow an incredibly "woke" person on your own.
You always need to be crediting the people that you've learned from, and that includes
on the internet too, if you're never met them, it's all the more easy to just credit your
sources!
CITE YOUR SOURCES!
And sometimes those people will be wrong too, and that's okay.
The whole point of trying to be an ally is understanding that it's going to be a really
tough and bumpy road BUT it's not as tough for you as it is for ME!
That is the MOST important thing, that at the end of the day, if you are a proclaimed
ally, you must acknowledge that your privilege will always save you and will ALWAYS keep
you safe.
So if you'd like to be an ally, put yourself out on the line for us, because we are already
out on the line doing the work that we do.
It's not an easy conversation to have with allies, and these are just a couple of the
things that I've been thinking about and stewing about because I've been having a lot of problems
with allies in my community, allies that I know overstepping their authority on a lot
of things, or talking over me or extracting knowledge from me and not crediting me, and
not understanding that it's not about them looking good.
It's about all of us working to deconstruct oppressive systems.
Anyway, I just needed to get all of those unscripted thoughts out of my head because
I've been really frustrated and I haven't been able to properly voice this because I
haven't been able to make a video.
So let me know what you think and let me know if this is helpful.
If you don't find it helpful, like I said there are resources online for you to peruse.
For you to learn for yourself.
But don't expect that POC folks or underrepresented folks, queer folks, trans folks, anyone, is
just going to educate you on what you need to know.
It's your responsibility to figure that out.
And THEN once you've educated yourself, then we can talk.
Then we can get into the action that needs to be done, and the work that needs to be
done.
I'm very thankful for all of the folks in my life who are very good allies, who stand
by me, and stand by my word, but even those allies mess up sometimes.
I mess up sometimes too, and that's okay.
But when allyship is no longer what it claims to be, and is getting into territory that
is more dangerous for people who are marginalized, then we need to be having this conversation.
Thank you all so much for watching, leave me some comments down below to let me know
what you think of allyship, where it has worked or failed, what has worked for you, what has
worked for others.
As always, if you like you can subscribe and go there and da da da.
And I will see you all not next Friday, but the Friday after that.
Thank you so much, Salamat Po, see you next time.
For more infomation >> 1941, January 6 - FDR - State of the Union address - Four Freedoms - open captioned - Duration: 36:19. 
For more infomation >> 1942, January 6 - FDR - State of the Union - open captioned - Duration: 37:45. 
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