welcome back to a continuing conversation with Seth Carew Vasudev
tell us you you you experience the sense of your boundaries expanding it's my
paraphrasing if I go I'm sure an inadequate paraphrasing of something
much more sort of profound and we won't get stuck in in semantics but blissful
happiness or whatever what happened then what did you feel you know we're told
that you know what the Buddha attained enlightenment under the tree and and he
had to go through you know several years of extreme rigor and anguish and and and
and austerity and what-have-you so in some senses you were lucky probably I
don't know what better karma money that work that it happened every aspect of
your life and he neither conducted joyfully playfully are in a very hard
way a full and joyful and ease and and happened apparently more easily for you
then why have fundamentally this is happening to any human being if he dis
associates his intellect from every kind of identification but that again is is
is you know I I understand what you're saying I mean I have no idea how to do
it I mean I tell myself that's what I should do every morning nothing happens
and and you know obviously I haven't had the right preparation the right
technique or the right training you know so very often these are concepts as you
yourself said that you know you can you know spirituality teacher scriptures can
spell peas but until you really sort of truly know what experience it
internalize it practice it it doesn't really happen it happened for you what
happened then what did you feel you know we we were told that you know Christ
spent how many years struggle till the time that he was on the cross for
ramakrishna never quite made it and kept saying mom amar till the time he was he
was dying the Buddha wondered whether he should go out and share it with the rest
of the world or not would they understand that any of these sort of
questions come up what questions came up to you you're unique I asked a million
questions I went and constantly got into trouble
with everybody because I asked the oddest possible questions so what is
most the oddest when you ask I've got into the most trouble jealous my mother
was a housewife I was totally dedicated to her husband
and children absolutely that kind of person she's totally devoted to
everything that we are but at the same time in the Indian household they are
not given to I love you kind of expressions you know it's just there's
no question of your mother telling you I love you it's just it's there all the
time nobody even thinks about it so one particular moment of something that
happened somehow she overstepped that and expressed a little bit of hard love
and aversion to me ah I just asked her if I was born in the next house he said
this house would you still do this tears welled up in her eyes and she went away
for some time then she came back and I was sitting there I knew I say something
as usual I asked a question which unnecessarily disturbs people and she
came and she just fell at my feet and touched my feet and she was still in
tears and she went away I thought that's good for her at least you know some
whatever illusions that you have about your love affairs and this something
broke I'm just saying questions like this I
always question just about everything these questions were not for fun for me
they were a 100 percent genuine and very very intense within me if I had a
question I couldn't sleep the whole night even as a kid I was issued up the
whole Angelis followed the Enlightenment experience I'm saying these questions
happen much before when I was very young what happened after say there are two
aspects to me this is a little difficult to explain in the sense my memory has
always been like this that even things that have
when I was just 3-4 months of age are still in my memory not some great
earth-shaking even simple things the local gossip that is happening somebody
came in what kind of clothes they are wearing simple ordinary talk whenever I
express you know this lady was saying this my mother wouldn't believe me you
said he was just three months of age how could you know son you got me tantalize
what happened after after this this this momentum and and the Chamundi Hills what
happened after it was over and you experienced this did this happened and
and I'm driving back and I'm so logical am somebody was been on European
philosophy you know Camus Kafka Dostoevsky this kind of stuff which is
all logically extreme and as spirituality is not the last thing I've
never heard about it when I apply my logical mind the only thing that my mind
could tell me was maybe I'm going off my rocker
maybe I'm just losing my balance when I shared this with the closest of my
friends the only questions that came to me was did you drink something did you
take some drug this is the kind of things that came so I knew there was no
point talking to anybody not even asking my mind the questions because it always
came up with the wrong thing so I became like - one was absolutely bursting with
an exuberant experience another was totally confused and wanting to find an
answer there there was no answer and I it was very clear to me no matter how
much I racked my brains I wouldn't find an answer so this experience started
repeating itself I sit here and I think it's 2 minutes 7 8 hours of just gone
this within about six weeks time the kind of chain that happened within me
was so dramatic what happened within I can never put
into words but physiologically the kind of changes that had happened my body
were clearly visible for people around me like what one thing my wife's changed
dramatically for no reason and the shape of my eyes if you look at the pictures
you can distinctly see the very shape of my eyes and face have changed not
because of this neglect is it neglect it isn't that
a part of our tradition that you don't you know you don't shave you don't cut
your hair not a card for tradition it's just that there is a belief that you
know if you let your hair grow than something it's just that every man busy
to do that every male naturally these things happen to him uh-huh most people
are removing it I don't know why I didn't find a good enough reason to do
that solely for the the you know the physiological changes that happen and
then what did you then decide that I now must make this available to other people
and we won that which is something that I don't want anybody to believe because
I wouldn't believe it and it was I'll believe they tell me a
whole a flood of memory came to me lifetime's of memory which completely my
mind logical mind did not want to agree with come to terms with this was before
or after this is after because in traditional literature it sort of
precedes the you know sort of I don't know karmic clearing maybe out I came
the wrong way I don't know no but you know that I didn't know you're living
your living experience and that is myth and legend so will believe you will
follow your path tell us it's before that I didn't know anything but as weeks
proceeded every day became such a phenomenal thing for me that I just want
to sit because I don't want to mow around and miss the whole thing I just
want to sit in one place so was there ever a point of of completion that you
know it started with this unbounded experience yes and then I go and as I
said when you say okay now this this process is complete and I'm now ready
for the world about the Deer Park in about six weeks six weeks of time it
became like a living thing till then it was like sports I don't want to miss it
I want to see what it is confusion mind and experience struggling with each
other because I had invested too much on my logical mind I had invested too much
in defeating everything that's around me and now it was trying to defeat me
so it was a big struggle for some about six weeks in six weeks it became like a
living experience then there was no confusion this is when a whole flood of
memory just descended on me the weight of the memory was little too much little
too much and it was so illogical and against everything that I stood for all
these years so is that process complete now very
complete so what is the impulse to action just spontaneous it just just
happens because you impulse to action is mostly people's longing you see hungry
faces I think it's natural for a human being if his humanity is in action if
his humanity is still functioning if you see a hungry face to feed them is very
natural uh so you heard my longing to talk to you seen fifty percent of the
population is sure you know the de'longhi see a sick person the
long-range inertial that was the wisdom is is you know is this an extremely
powerful what I'm seeing this is naturally in every human being he kills
it with the psychological process with his ideas with his identifications why
should I do this who the hell is he all these things if you don't have a
psychological process it is very very natural for you if you see a hungry
person to feed if it's possible if you see somebody in distress to do something
it's very natural for a human being so all I am doing is a natural human
expression that every human being should be doing is there anything left in
yourself about fifty fifty years of living something more but you seek
something different not really the way I am made if I sit here and close my eyes
I can sit here like this till I fall that no need for action but at the same
time I'm all action because it's still needed I would like to see a day when I
will be unemployed I can just sit that fool thank you very
much this has been a great learning and a great blessing thank you truly
you
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