Be The Woman You Always Wanted To Be
Be The Woman You Always Wanted To Be
Be The Woman You Always Wanted To Be
Be The Woman You Always Wanted To Be
Be The Woman You Always Wanted To Be
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Voice-over: Congratulations, you are in the right place at the right time.
This is the Summon Courage, Change Everything podcast with Matthew Levy.
An inspiring interview with a guest who has achieved big goals in life and work and who
will divulge their secrets to success.
Today, now, the man behind the microphone, Matt Levy.
Matthew Levy: Hello, Summon Courage, Change Everything community.
I'm Matthew Levy, the host of the Summon Courage, Change Everything podcast.
If you like what you hear, please help spread the word in your networks with a five-star
review or the equivalent.
I'm so pleased to have Dr. Rob Fazio joining us for this episode.
Let me tell you a little bit about Rob.
He is the managing partner at OnPoint advising, specializing in global leadership and organizational
success.
Rob partners with leaders and top teams and organizations to empower them to grow while
achieving results.
Based on his experiences in sports psychology and executive development, he teaches clients
how to remove barriers to organizational effectiveness and to function at optimal levels.
Rob has worked with executive teams and coached executives throughout organizations including
the c-suite, surgeons, and emerging leaders.
Rob is also that author of Simple Is the New Smart, and he's developed the Motivational
Currency Calculator which is a self-assessment that reveals what drives people, how well
someone can read another person's motivators, and how effective someone is at using the
best approach to tap into someone's motivators.
Rob, welcome to the show.
I've been looking forward to our conversation.
Dr. Robert Fazio: I am too, Matt.
It's great to be with you.
Matt: Let's start, get the audience a little bit familiar with your background.
Tell us a little bit about your upbringing and how, ultimately, that may have impacted
your career decision and lead us up to what you are doing these days?
Rob: Sure.
Upbringing-wise, I think what's most relevant is I grew up in Northern New Jersey, about
20 minutes from New York City, so I had the benefit of being in the suburbs with access
to New York City.
It was almost a little bit a combination of grit and grace.
You had trees and then you got exposure to diversity of New York City which I really
enjoyed.
We were a typical northern New Jersey family where you played sports and academics were
also important.
You got exposed to different things.
I think that the coolest thing was the block I grew up on was a double dead end, so we
got to play all the sports we wanted without the rush.
At the same time, I had cousins and family in Queens, New York, so every other weekend
we'd go to New York, and we'd be playing football on the middle of 93rd Street across Bay Boulevard
which is completely different than having to catch on a lawn.
Matt: Great.
Tell us a little bit more.
How did you wind up in the career path that you ultimately selected?
Rob: It was pretty intentional believe it or not.
I always enjoyed learning about people, and it actually is partially because I used to
get in trouble as a kid for not saying hello to my parent's friends when we go to family
visits or friends visits because I was just socially awkward or worried about things.
Most people got intrigued by this whole aspect of how do people act and behave, and what's
that all about.
One day, my babysitter had a book.
It said psychology on it.
This was maybe grammar school or somewhere around high school, and I said, "That sounds
really interesting."
Then I went down the path of psychology and sports psychology and learning about athletes
and top performance and then further went on to doing that in the business world.
Matt: Ultimately, also, to get a Ph.D. now, a lot of people have aspirations to do that,
Rob, and they hit a derailer along the way someway or another.
Was this as significant of an achievement as it sounds like to most people?
Rob: It was for me in many ways.
I've realized along the way I was my biggest derailer.
I would continually hold myself back because I'd be worried about something or concerned
about something, and even the messages I got from professors-- I started at a small school
in New York and then transferred to Penn State.
I didn't have that traditional cognitive IQ academic prestige if you will.
A lot of people were straight with me, and they said, "Look, Rob, I don't think that
getting a doctorate is going to be in your real house and that fueled my fire, and I
knew why I wanted to find a way to do it and made a decision in undergrad that I was going
to find a way to do it, and I did.
Matt: That's interesting.
In some ways, you were being dissuaded from following that path?
Rob: Yes, no one was doing it intentionally, but the messages that I got along the way
was, "You're really not cut from the same cloth as a Ph.D." or "You're not going to
be able to get the GPA or the GREs, and there's a cut off of 1200."
The messages that I got was that I wasn't of that caliber which just made my fire burn
a little hotter.
Matt: Was there a time when you started to doubt yourself?
Rob: Yes, absolutely.
I doubted myself a lot, and the biggest buffer to doubt is your friends that believe more
in you than you believe in yourself.
I have one friend when I was going to my first master's program in athletic counseling in
Springfield College who said, "You're definitely going to get in."
I said, "No I'm not."
At the time, I was focusing on being healthy, and he goes, "I'll bet you a plate of cheese
fries, you're going to get in this program."
I had to eat a plate of cheese fries, but, yes, absolutely.
Matt: Interesting, interesting.
Along the way, I guess, at some point, you did have what you might call a w2 job, is
that right?
A steady paycheck from an established firm?
Rob: Yes, yes.
I worked for the Hay Group in Center City, Philly in their corporate headquarters.
I was deciding between New York Metro office and Philadelphia, and once I got through grad
school I really wanted to go there because they had a lot of research and focus on emotional
intelligence.
That was what I had done my dissertation on, and that was my target firm which I went after.
Matt: That leads us right into the conversation that you ultimately decide to leave that comfort
zone, that safety nest of a regular paycheck and break out into roles, one way or another,
that required you to hunt and kill in order to be paid.
Rob: Yes, absolutely.
After Hay Group, I went to a smaller firm which is called LRI which was a firm that
years ago Marshall Goldsmith had started, and it grew into something else.
I was there for eight years and had a great experience.
I always knew that I enjoyed working with senior executives and, let's say, strong personalities
at the top of the house.
That's something I was always been passionate about.
I got to a place where I love autonomy, I love thought leadership, and I really enjoy
being able to create your own path.
That's when I decided to take the leap of faith.
Though there's the element of you've got to be willing to give some things up when you
start your own firm or business, it's about also a combination of your support systems,
people that believe on you as well as you have to have that business network.
You're never going to be 100% and there's no safety net, but my biggest inspiration
was my wife and she's like, "What are you waiting for?
Go do this."
That was the deciding factor.
Matt: Yes, sure.
You need that support system, but even with that, Rob, isn't there concerns like, "How
am I going to pay my mortgage?
What if my phone doesn't ring?"
How did you wrestle with those "normal fears" I would call them?
Rob: Yes, absolutely.
I started my own firm, as I was getting engaged and selling a house in Philadelphia, finding
a house, there was a time for eight months where I shared my office with my infant daughter,
Reese.
You have all those fears and all those times where you're not sure.
All you can do is increase your probability of success.
I think that I'm always a little bit anxious around adding value, and I think that's been
a helpful differentiator around making sure that when I do something with the client,
that it's going to be helpful and add value to their business.
[music] Matt: It's interesting, Rob.
Being lucky enough to be with you when you made this decision to create your own firm,
I remember saying, "Come on.
It's a no-brainer.
You got this.
This is perfect."
Isn't it interesting that sometimes in life everyone else has this supreme confidence,
but in our own heart of hearts, we lack that confidence?
Why do you think that is?
Rob: You were absolutely there with me as I was going through transition.
I think it's when you have a responsibility that you want to other people, so a mortgage
or to a spouse, it's more difficult to take those leaps of faith.
As well as the insecurity always comes in to play.
Those things that I talked about before, sometimes fears like, "Am I smart enough?
Am I good enough?"
Those type of thoughts that enter into what you do, and I think it takes some work on
ourselves to say, "Okay, if I have those insecurities or potential challenges, let me be smart about
it and try to build enough money up and enough relationships up so I could do this in the
right way."
It takes time and being intentional and strategic.
I know those are buzz words, but [unintelligible 00:11:45] a lot of work on the front end,
and being sure you have the confidence, and the competence to match that confidence is
really what got me there.
Matt: Interesting, Rob.
We all have these limiting beliefs, these self-doubts, but isn't step one to acknowledge
that those are what they are in the first place?
Rob: Acknowledging to yourself and other people.
I have conversations about limitations I put on myself all of the times.
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who get advice from people that shouldn't be giving
advice.
I vet people that give me advice.
My wife's one, other friends, other colleagues, but I just think that acknowledging it and
then also making sure that you're pushing through that, or as one of my colleagues said,
"Leaning into that discomfort."
It's never a slam dunk, but if you can get out of the way of yourself, good things can
happen.
[chuckles] Matt: Good and we're going to explore some
of that some more for sure, Rob.
One of the things I talk about in the podcast is what I call the D.R.E.A.M. action plan
where each of those letters stands for something really important to help people achieve big
goals in life and work.
The first one is D, devotion.
This concept that, really, to overcome adversity, to live a full life, one really should think
about what is their destiny, what is their purpose.
Do you subscribe to this notion that that's an important concept?
If so, how do you apply it to your own life and your own work?
Rob: I think it is an important concept.
The only slight pivot I'd make to that is I'm a big believer in "we create our own path"
and so, I try to be very disciplined about my destiny and make it that it's somewhere
I want to be as opposed to somewhere I just end up.
That aspect of being disciplined and really having clearly focused priorities that we
go after.
In my business life I'm very intentional, and then there are things that just happen
in the world and in your life that are great connections and things that add value to your
business life as well as your home life.
Matt: It was Nietzsche, I guess, that said, "He who has a 'why' in life can bear anyhow,"
right?
This is one of those concepts, so just say a little bit more, if you would, about the
importance of people finding out their purpose or doing some work in that area at least.
Rob: I think that finding a purpose is really important.
Sometimes I think we overemphasize the whole idea of "why" and we get caught up in that.
There's some great research that was done at UCLA around looking at different groups
of people where they talked about, "Okay.
Think about what it feels like to be successful as opposed to think about how you're going
to be successful."
I'm personally more of a how person than a why person, and I'm always connected to the
work that I do, but I'm very big on like, "How am I going to get to where I want to
go?"
I also get purpose in areas outside of my work, but inside of my work, I think a lot
of my purpose comes from growing up and seeing my dad working in New York City in long hours
and working, at times, for really bad bosses.
One of my little secrets around this executive advising thing is I know if I help a senior
executive be a better influencer and more effective, the people below that person are
going to have better lives, and when those people go home, they have a better family
life.
Matt: Absolutely.
Seeing as that you brought up your dad, and seeing as that we've talked a little bit about
adversity, would you be open to sharing a little bit about that?
Rob: Absolutely.
As you know, my dad was a great man.
He was in the Twin Towers on 9/11, and he was on the 99th floor.
He was one of the original people to happen to see the first plane going into Tower One,
and while he was watching that-- He was a very quiet person, but somehow became a leader
at that moment and told people- he was in Tower Two - to leave the towers and go home.
He was adamant about people that were trying to come back up.
One of the things that people told us about him in those last moments of life was that
he was holding a door to help people.
That's been a huge inspiration and way for us to feel connected to his story.
Unfortunately, he didn't make it home safe, but we know that he did a lot to help other
family members get home safe.
That's an element of pride we have in our dad that he was there for other people and
just a simple act of holding a door and helping those people in those moments has lived on
with me in my whole life as well as work.
Matt: What is one of the legacies that you've been able to continue?
Rob: I think that the biggest thing is this whole idea of holding the door and putting
others first and helping people.
In parallel to my work life, we have a nonprofit called Hold The Door For Others, and that's
really where we help people grow through trauma and crisis and use that as the catalyst for
growth because we know that people can grow into rightfully so understandably dark places
when they lose a loved one, whether it's related to 9/11 or it's related to a sickness, or
a car accident.
A big legacy from my dad is this nonprofit that we've developed.
Believe it or not, a lot of what I learned for the last 16 years or so in the non-profit
world and doing this is a lot of what I do is with the executives I work with; I just
use different language.
[music] Matt: We're going to put it in the show notes
but just verbally for those that are listening how can people find out more about the nonprofit?
Rob: Our website is holdthedoor.com.
All of our resources, so we have resources on sudden loss and adversity, we have a resource
at the self-awareness tool, everything is free and downloadable on holdthedoor.com,
or we could send hard copies to people.
That's really part of our passionate purpose for that.
The Fazio family as well as a lot of our friends keeping that alive.
What really is fascinating is, I mentioned before, how quiet and gentle a person my dad
was, his legacy is really loud which makes us proud.
Matt: That's terrific.
Wow.
You helped me greatly, Rob, when I had that near-death experience that listeners are familiar
with.
Part of the reason why I wanted you a part of that story, that situation, was just knowing
how you had handled your own adversity and just felt that you could really be a strength
to me, and I really appreciate that.
I guess that's a segue into, what advice do you have for others that are dealing with
their own type of adversity whether it's the type that you went through or the type that
I went through?
Rob: Whether it's business or life, there's always going to be speed bumps and roadblocks
and really difficult things.
I've always been a believer of if you think through things almost like worst case scenarios
and it sounds terrible, but let's take an executive thinking through if they got fired
or laid off and to bring it back to my Dad after 26 years of being a senior executive,
he got laid off out of the blue.
What I learned from him was to be really smart about the relationships that you keep and
not letting your ego take you over and making sure that you're smart about your entrance
as well as your exits.
Now, he never said that to me, but I learned that through his behaviors, and that's the
reason why he was able to land another job even though it took a year later.
Seeing him go through that was a big factor, and I think that when I talk with executives,
and I work with them, it's all about being transparent and laying things on the table.
I guess the best piece of advice I give to people that go through adversity is "go in
and deal with it."
Go into the eye of the storm and think about all the things that are upsetting to you because
that adversity is going to manifest in some way, and you might as well have some control
over that as opposed to it manifesting in a way you don't want such as health or getting
blindsided by something else.
Matt: I want to get right back to that point in a second, but before we leave the topic
of your Dad, what was the best piece of advice that he ever gave you?
Rob: He wasn't a give advice type of guy.
It was more of just what he did.
I would say the best piece of advice gave me through his actions was "be there."
Although he was an executive in New York, he was always there for friends.
Whether they were moving or something was going on or a friend that was dealing with
some kind of adversity, he was just present.
He wasn't the person that was giving advice or leading the way, but he was always present
and supportive, and that has really lived on in me as a constant reminder of, it sounds
so simplistic, and it is, but not spreading yourself so thin that you can be there for
people that count and be helpful because nothing replaces being present and being there.
Matt: Yes, well, I can assure our listeners that you do live and breathe that every day.
Rob: Thanks, Matt.
Thank you.
Matt: Absolutely.
I want to double click a little bit on the book, Simple Is the New Smart.
I have my trusty copy right here.
It's dog-eared and highlighted.
Tell us a little bit more about how this project came to be, and then I do want to ask you
a specific question about one of the frameworks that you share in the book.
Rob: Sure.
Much like when you asked how did you get into psychology and business, it was one of those
hurdles where I wasn't sure I could do it, but I knew I would be able to do it.
It was a dream of mine and something I always wanted to do.
There's a big barrier to getting a publisher, and so I had gotten a lot of no's.
It was something I always wanted to do, and my family and wife was very supportive and
helpful in the process.
I wanted to have a book that simplified a lot of the academic stuff that was out there.
Yes, I went to a Ph.D. program, but I'm not your traditional Ph.D. [chuckles] You can
ask any of my classmates or friends.
I appreciate the research, however, I'm not a researcher; I'm more of a connector, influencer.
I'm all about the practical aspect of research, and that's where I really get inspired.
Simple Is the New Smart is about taking things that have some theory or practice to them
or based on experiences working with executives, and my whole rule is that something that can
be applied right now.
That's what I really got excited about in writing the book.
Matt: You mentioned that it was a dream of yours, it's a dream of mine, and I just totally
admire people that have a dream and make it happen.
How did you go from "I'd never have the time to do it.
I don't know what to say.
Nobody's going to publish it.
Blah, blah, blah."?
How did you go from that to this?
Rob: Well, part of it was the decision point.
I had this belief in that, it's critical to have one primary area of focus.
There's a difference between priorities and preferences, and I have a lot of preferences
and things I want to accomplish, and I made the decision that "Okay, this book's going
to get done."
So every day until I got the book publisher to say yes, I was doing things, I'd make a
long list, and I was doing things that would help me move towards that.
I also have to say a woman named Grace Killelea that wrote the book, The Confidence Effect,
she guided me in the process and was a big support system and helped with that as well.
It was a combination of people support and that constant focus of this is my number one
priority.
Matt: Awesome.
Well, it's a gift that a lot of people are taking advantage of including myself.
Rob: Thank you.
Thank you.
Matt: One of the frameworks that you discussed in the book is the pathway to ownership.
I talk about that all the time in my own practice, in my keynote speeches because I think it's
so important.
Would you be willing to give a quick overview on what that is, and why it's important?
Rob: Yes, the whole idea of the pathway to ownership comes down to while there are so
many things going on in the world and at work and in your family, my belief is that it comes
down to you and what you're willing to do and what you're committed to doing, so this
idea, mindset of we can-- Pardon the example here, if you fold a piece of paper in half
and then you open it up and then you look at it, it's going to likely fold back to the
way it was originally.
The whole idea of pathway to ownership is not falling into that trap of the way you've
always thought and taking ownership of things.
I like ownership better than accountability especially in the states because accountability
tends to be about blame, and ownership, for me, is more about doing something and taking
action.
It's all about "What can I do differently as opposed to pointing fingers?"
I'll tell you this, Matt, it's not that easy to do.
I find myself, a lot of times, falling back into that victim mindset of "What's happening
to me?" about even just simple things like the weather, and having those reminders is
really, really important.
Matt: What I love about it is that there's a decision point when the shit hits the fan,
and it seems that a lot of people don't realize that there's even a decision to be made.
Could you just expound on that key point a little bit more?
Rob: Yes, a lot of it goes back to acknowledging that we have a choice to make between stimulants
and reactions, so some of your basic years-old psychology.
I think the key is reminding ourselves of that, so whatever you need to do to hit the
pause button, that is the key.
Thinking before you act and acting on what you think is critical.
I do simple things.
Sometimes, I just have a post-it on my computer with a little reminder.
Rob: For years, I had the letters VCU on my computer because I never thought I'd be able
to get into their doctoral program.
That moving more towards of "Gosh, I'm never going to be able to do this," that's the victim
because I don't have this type of intelligence to "What am I going to do to get into the
school?"
Little triggers or reminders of that are big because we know about our minds is that has
that snowball effect of once we go down a certain path, it'll pick up momentum, and
to be quite frank I have to catch myself or a lot of times other people can catch me if
I go down that path and remind me of like, "Hey, if you're going to talk about this stuff,
you got to live it."
Matt: Right.
Otherwise, the paper folds right back on itself, right?
Rob: Precisely.
Matt: Our resolve, to me it's a lot about goal setting and obviously, you know how to
do that, Rob.
You coach your clients to do that.
That's how you've accomplished all these things that we've been discussing.
What are your thoughts in general about the importance of goal setting, and how do you
stick to them?
Rob: What I found interesting about goal setting is I often don't use the terms goal setting
because clients are fatigued about the idea of goal setting.
I try to take an approach of where "Okay, what do you want to accomplish?
What success look like for you?" and talk that way.
I do the goal setting oftentimes more in the background where I know what leads successful
goals, but I'm not always playing out a worksheet or something saying "Okay, is it specific?
Is it measurable?"
It's more of I do that only and integrate it, and I'll let them know that I'm vetting
what they talk through and creating those steps.
Two things for me is, one is it has to be something that they're invested in as well
as that adds value to the company that they're working with, and the second thing is it has
to be something where they're willing to give something up in order to accomplish it.
I think that that has has been a helpful recipe.
Matt: For example, in writing a book you'll hear a lot of authors speak about how they
had the goal of writing a certain number of words per day or week.
Is that type of goal setting to get you to an endpoint? is that something that you would
subscribe to?
Rob: Yes, I think that type of thing is important but also realizing that in order to do that
you need to think through what you're going to give up in order to do that.
In goal setting, we often put more on people's plates, but I also want to make sure that
people are taking something off their plate in order to fit that priority there.
In the writing of my book, I would walk as many days a week to the Penn Bookstore, and
that's where I wrote.
I knew and my wife knew that I had this a lot of time and that was me dedicated to my
book writing.
Now when you're writing a book, your revenue can go down.
You have to plan for that as well, and so that discipline in saying, "Okay, I'm going
to be okay with this month making X amount of money or not."
I'm talking in a small business like I am as opposed to a big Fortune 500 company.
If you're the CEO, there's different parameters but for me, it was about "Will I give up revenue
to get more revenue later on and have that discipline up go to the Penn Bookstore and
writing?"
[music] Matt: Perfect segue into the E which is about
energy and this concept that when you say yes to something, you're automatically saying
no to something else.
You started to touch on it a little bit already, but what are some techniques then that one
could employ to not just have themselves so busy that they're not working on the right
things and not accomplishing their goals?
Rob: Yes.
It's very interesting how people think that task completion equals value.
It's absolutely the opposite.
I, on a daily basis, will prioritize what I [inaudible 00:35:25].
I'm an index card ninja, so I use index cards all the time.
I have some color code, really simple, like green is my top priority.
If something goes on a green index card on the day, it's getting done that day probably
within and out.
That's the way I go through it.
The second thing for me, Matt, is I don't check email first every day.
I really believe in doing something that is associated with your priority or thing you
really want to accomplish before you get pulled into the email drain and the reactive mindset.
I totally get that people have bosses and priorities, but then I say wake up 15 minutes
earlier or do something so you can do something that energizes you towards what you want to
accomplish before you get in that have-to mode.
Matt: That's terrific.
In terms of morning routines, a lot of the gurus and the pundits would say journal, meditate,
gratitude, exercises.
I may be saying it in such a way that I'm disputing it, in fact, I deploy some of those
myself.
Did you have any thoughts about that morning routine?
Rob: I believe in mindfulness, and I think it's important.
I come from a sports psychology background where I use and have used imagery.
The ones built differently, I'm a get it a done guy.
I'm a wake-up, get it done for it, and that's just me.
I think that what works for you is the most important.
Matt: Excellent.
Attitude, the A in D.R.E.A.M. is for attitude.
The power of a positive mindset.
What are your thoughts about the importance of that to have the courage, to live successfully?
Rob: What we know is that we can create new pathways by controlling our thinking, and
it's tough.
You look at the literature on emotional intelligence and how our emotional brains are built first,
in the moment, it's so tough to not get caught up in that.
I still go back to the simplifying.
I use a lot of sports psychology techniques such as having a keyword or a trigger word
that makes you reset your mindset to think more positively because what we know is if
you try to just fight your thoughts or ignore them, that doesn't work.
I believe in moving in rather than moving on.
Let your thought come in, feel it, and let it pass and then get back to neutral however
that is.
If it's deep breathing, imagery, a cue word, watching a Youtube video, or something to
reset yourself and then refocus, I think is key.
Matt: Love it.
The M is about mastery.
The concept of continuous learning and continuous self-improvement.
What are some of the things that you do, Rob, to continue to sharpen your own saw?
Rob: I talk to a lot of people that do things that I don't do.
I have a person in Philadelphia that's the head of a large growth-oriented, private equity
firm, and I've developed a relationship over the years, and he's been phenomenal just having
lunch with me once a quarter to learn about the private equity world because it's not
something that I grew up in.
I learn a lot through conversations, talking to people, asking questions.
I use searches on Youtube a lot.
The whole blockchain phenomenon and everything when I want to learn about that.
What's key for me is multiple sources because everyone's got a point of view who can find
research on what their agenda is and it's about you making your own decisions based
on multiple sources.
Matt: While we're talking about mastery, a lot of people, if they believe in coaching,
will hire a coach.
You're one; I'm doing the work as well.
What's your thought overall on the importance of coaching, and from there, what are some
things that a potential coachee, someone who's willing to hire a coach, should be thinking
about?
Rob: I lean more on the side of advising as opposed to pure coaching.
Part of my work with people, I'm coaching, and I'm using some skills from psychology,
and understanding, and influencing, I probably lean more towards a side of giving a point
of view and advising.
I think that the value that I've heard from clients is "I'm not afraid to do the straight
talk."
I work with a lot of strong personalities, such as surgeons, or CEOs, or people that
people are afraid to give truth to, and the combination of being able to sit in the room
and tell how it is as well as listen and understand their perspective and story and being versatile,
working within that person's business context or what's important to them is important.
I'm sorry, Matt, what was the second part of the question?
Matt: Right, Rob, it was just about if people are looking for an advisor or a coach, what
are some things that they should be thinking about?
Rob: One thing that I think often gets overemphasized in the wrong way is fit.
I don't think you should necessarily always work with the person that you click with or
connect with the best because the likeability factor, while important, it should be more
about the value they can add.
What I try to talk with clients, when I'm advising them on selecting a coach or advisor,
is "Yes, the connection and the likeability is important," also think about, "Are they
confident enough to give you a different point of view than your own and stand up to you?"
I think that's probably the biggest factor.
Matt: Right.
If all they do is tell you what you want to hear, you don't need a coach for that or an
advisor for that.
Rob: Then it's just a comfortable conversation [inaudible 00:42:55] more than that.
Matt: Excellent.
As we wind down, I got a couple of quick hitting questions for you, if you don't mind.
Rob, how about this.
What three things would you take along with you to a desert island, and family is disqualified?
Rob: Family and you are disqualified, so I'll go from there?
[chuckles] I would say if there was a way to take the Internet because you're able to
be connected to other people.
Two is some form of entertainment, so you're keeping your mind engaged and enjoyable.
The third thing would be a mystery.
My daughter is big into Mickey and Minnie Mouse now, and they have that thing "Toodles"
I see every day, that big question mark "Toodles in life, what would that third thing be?"
I don't know, it's a question mark.
Matt: [laughs] Okay.
How about a hat that provides some shade?
Rob: I'm actually an expert at the exfoliating after I go out at the golf course and get
burned, so I'm good.
I'm used to that by now.
Matt: On a more serious note, what advice would you give to your 21-year-old self?
Rob: I would say, "Do what you did," and the only caveat I have that is, "Do it earlier.
Build relationships sooner, find your confidence sooner, appreciate others sooner, and realize
that it's not just about what's going on in your own head, it's also about what's going
on in other people, and realize that you can be a bridge and help other people unleash
excellence for themselves and get to a different level."
Matt: Excellent.
Thank you for that.
I'm big into motivational quotes.
I know that some people might think that they're clich�s, but they're good reminders for
me, a little bit like what you put on your computer as reminders for yourself.
With that as a backdrop, is there one particular quote that you might want to put on a billboard,
so you could get that message out to as many people as possible?
Rob: Yes.
Henry Ford's quote is my favorite which is, "If you think you can or you think you can't,
you're right."
That to me just really sums up a lot of all this, the things that we're talking about.
Matt: That's great.
Henry Ford was the one that said, "The key to a successful life is to figure out what
your destiny is, and then do it."
You're taking issue with that one but-- Rob: Listen, I don't have a Ford, so it's
okay.
[laughs] Matt: Right, that's good.
It's the power of your mindset once again.
Rob: Absolutely.
You raised a good point though, Matt.
It's diversity of thinking as well.
We don't have to agree with everything that someone says, it's the pieces of what they
say.
We get too caught up in this binary of like/dislike, but I think, even people that we don't like,
there's probably value that they can add in our lives, but we block that because we disagree
or don't like them.
Matt: Interesting.
Is there any other thought, idea, or any other comment that you might want to share with
the audience?
Rob: Something I've been doing a lot of work on is, we talk a lot about motivation, and
I've studied it for years, and I wanted to have something that's practical yet has some
theoretical underpinning to it.
You and I have talked about this idea of motivational currency before which puts people into boxes
or colors or things like that, so this idea of motivational currency, where people are
driven by different things like performance, people, power, and purpose.
All I'm saying here is that realizing that people are diversified and have more complexity
to them rather than just being one way, I think that that's an important message for
us to realize and to leverage.
Matt: Thanks, Rob.
Let's be clear about it.
You developed an assessment that you call "Motivational Currency Calculator," is it?
Rob: Yes, absolutely.
Developed that, and it's where there's three aspects to it which is recognizing, reading,
and leading.
The first part is a general self-assessment, looks at what motivates you and drives you.
Then, what I like about it is there's a skill base to it, so there's a place where you have
to determine what other people's motivators are, what drives them.
The third part is how to lead according to people's primary motivators.
The whole theory is that if you start with what people's primary motivators are, or motivates
them, they'll be more open to your message, and you might be able to influence them more
effectively.
Matt: Excellent.
This leads us into how can people learn more about the Motivational Currency Calculator,
how can they get in touch with you if they'd like to follow up?
Rob: Yes.
Onpointadvising.com is our website.
You can go there, there are a number of free resources as well, under insights there's
articles and different blogs there, and there're also examples of different situations of working
with people, and I think some good resources that might be helpful.
Matt: That's great, Rob.
Thanks so much for joining us today.
I really appreciate you sharing your stories, your frameworks, your background with the
audience.
I know I learned a lot, and I'm sure those listening did as well.
[music] Matt: Thanks for joining us for the Summon
Courage, Change Everything podcast.
If you like what you heard, please leave a five-star review wherever you're listening
or watching this podcast.
I also want to thank Texas Radio Fish for the music and for Levi Dillon at levidillon.com
for his amazing podcast engineering.
[music] [00:50:29] [END OF AUDIO]
File name: 9 Whether You Think You Can, Or You Think You Cant - Youre Right with Dr.
Rob Fazio 1
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