Live from Shadowmere Studios is TalkyBox built to last
yeah yep yeah how long have we built to last at least through October 16th at
least the Vizier yeah ideally I mean it was built that way but it hasn't really
gone through all the proper vetting yet okay sorry that's that's the goal we're
aiming for October 16th yeah if it breaks before then then you know
it's back to the old drawing the warranty hopefully there's no recalls
involved yeah I really hope so I was definitely no manufacturers born no
we're not we're not issuing a warranty with it no because this is our beta
version yeah okay beta version so try it on risk
absolutely sort of thing it's the Betamax yeah okay but I never owned one
of those and I'm not really sure the technology involved in it but it was
built to last is that like real for real no it's not I mean I guess in as much as
VHS is reel-to-reel which it I think and cassette tapes in general yeah yeah all
right I actually had to learn like I would
clean that up when I was going to school for broadcasting I had to learn how to
use reel-to-reel it's a pain in the ass really yeah you don't say uh-huh
my guess is that in broadcasting school yeah did you did you have to do the
slicing and the splicing yo the dicing I don't think you have to do any dicing
slicing slicing yeah no dicing cutting spice sounds boring you're like it's
literally like cutting and and taping back together the tape before things
were zeros and one floating in like an eighth thrill alternate universe of
numbers like we have today where no one really understands it back then it was
like hard copy let's head out like a whole bunch of tiny little pictures
right all in a row I'm talking about like audio tape but yeah I didn't have
to deal with like a real real video or nothing audio tape that was magnets
right yeah magnetic tape it was like a magnetic strip or something that like
also it's the same way with with VHS and cassette tapes and Sofia I love magnets
and that's why it's a strong magnet back in the 80s could really mess up
somebody's collection oh yeah I remember our professor IQ told a story
about like when he worked for some television station someone had a master
copy of a tape and put it like up on their dashboard right next to one of
their speakers which have powerful magnets in them and just to completely
erase the tape so that really fucked up whatever they were dealing with yeah so
well we still got the master copy right nope you know it's no wipe that shit I
was hoping to make a new one did I see that that's not gonna happen
so I'm Dave hey Dave host of jockey box mmm it's the title I gave myself yeah
and then we got Jason hey asshole talkie boxes the title I gave him number one
super asshole Justin the guy who faces forward the whole time
hi yeah yeah yeah he has no good side no we just put him face forward yep
you decide mmm which side is his best side it's his backside Oh
so yeah you were I wasn't here last week I I'm still not well uh-huh but I've
never been the entire time you've known me I've been a little sick so true in
multiple ways in so many ways absolutely so I haven't specifically gotten over
any of that stuff but the sinus infection and the the rumbly tumbly
I believe we had this or what you guys discussed I watched the episode this
morning yeah so I feel like I was part of the show yeah even though there was
definitely a different dude right here right yep yeah but he was delightful he
seemed like a nice guy text great dude man I kinda would have
liked to have been on the show with him just to chat up a little more if you had
not been sick yep Yeah right if only if only yeah well we're gonna do yeah stay
healthy they say recruit him that date like you
if you've been here you would have actually met him because like Reuven
that day I was like hey I was hanging out with him you like we talked about
like getting haircuts and stuff I was like hey man come on it's podcast we
need some way else on it you wanna do it it was like I don't know if that is
but I'm willing and they came over in good time yeah good time yeah I had a
really bad sinus infection I got it partially because of heat exhaustion
from the event basically just my defenses got dropped so bad that like
this kind of crept up on me and just overwhelmed me yeah and the drainage was
so awful that it actually gave me a sinus drainage yeah the sign estar not
like not like a ditch outside your house no no not like the hurricane that we'll
talk about later okay but like the drainage from my sinuses was so awful
that after like several days of swallowing it you know because you can't
blow it all out like I try to you just can't yeah and like you know losing my
appetite not drinking enough water and basically just ingesting a snot diet for
about five or six days I'm so turned off by this covered yes it's really a
stomach rancid I actually thought my appendix had ruptured like I got severe
abdominal pain and it was basically from all my filter organs saying like quit it
WTF yeah this is not something we're supposed to be working through right
yeah it's all white blood cells and I don't even know what this is so that's
why I was unable to make it or at least that's what the doctors no excuse that I
handed Dave said yeah I mean did ya did it have been released for work
probably not I don't think so yeah yeah I mean you could dock my pay I expected
it oh I will be yeah I think you owe us no I know I do
I do yep because I didn't I don't know I look at my life existed you owe us money
yeah I did for this I'm pretty sure this is coming out of some sort of something
you looked at your watch like your watch tells you how much money people are
right yeah like time or anything nation owes $8,000 oh yeah he does owe me my
hair tie this is not a watch it's just a debtor's device that people
risk yes that's a loan shark mm-hmm loan shark same shark so hurricanes yeah game
yeah yeah game sharks they're all over that hurricane they are hurricane Harvey
hurt I love Harvey it's Houston old two-face oh okay I was about a comment
on his alliteration but you went with a Batman record I did I said yeah but
there's some real devastation going on down there
things I don't know anybody in the area so I don't know what's going down
I know devastated yeah devastated it's like 60 inches of flooding that's a lot
there's like another 15 inches of rain supposed to be coming all of their
interstates are impassable and so you know if the interstates are then you can
assume a lot of side streets are probably like uh the boat I think
there's been a few deaths yeah several injuries last count I heard was like 15
or 16 deaths I believe but there's probably also a number of unaccounted
for I do know it's still going on like it's still I think it's topical storm
right now yeah it as soon as it hit landfall it slowed a lot but it also was
caught between two pressure fronts and so it wouldn't move out of the area
which is why they're getting so much rainfall is because it has basically hit
the area dumped on them went back out to sea and now they're worried that it
might be like picking up strength from the warm Gulf I just pictured you as a
meteorologist it's between these two pressure front is just jumping on I come
back you'll see over here in the Houston area they are fucked
I'm sorry Houston if you're still in Houston mo Mowlam along you get it but
they don't that's dark I'm sorry there are people suffering right now I
shouldn't make light of that but anyway if you're in Houston and you watch this
thank you and get a boat because you're fucked
it's fucked over there I watched a news special where a guy just a average guy
with a bass boat hmm had taken it down and was
out saving people Uncle Mike was just out like riding through neighborhoods
looking for people on roofs and stuff it saved about 20 people and it's not like
a cop or anything just Ike you saw a video the other day of somebody it
wasn't during this it was somewhere in I won't say Mississippi where these guys
are going out in their boats during a flood situation go on and they were
saving the wildlife that was being stranded on like in tree branches and
stuff like possums and raccoons and stuff and like I'm just putting them in
their boats and like all the animals were like totally cool with it like
thank you yep joke they didn't say it was words
but they said it with their cute faces they said by not ravenously attack those
guys hung on the boat like this is so much better kind of reminds me of Life
of Pi except it was real bad in Life of Pi yeah I didn't see it you didn't see
laughs I didn't see Life of Pi well you should watch that one it's like what
kind of world are we living in what kind of world are we living in Justin I were
making jokes earlier about all the movies that people just assume that
everybody has seen right yeah that was our tagline for it what kind of where
you haven't seen this movie well you know you haven't seen Fight Club what
kind of world we live in and what do you mean you haven't seen the usual suspects
what kind of world you haven't seen the first Matrix movie scene that what kind
of world but I haven't seen like I didn't sit down watching The Godfather
movies you haven't seen the Godfather nope shit but we could definitely go
through a list of new of movies that I should have seen that I definitely
haven't seen Godfather ones being being them I love her Godfather 3 was shit but
uh-uh no it was a movie oh yeah was it shit movie yes mmm it's still
probably better than a lot of their like shit movies
two girls one cup you know I'm sorry I didn't see that one
Human Centipede what kind of world we live in where a movie like that gets
fucking made and then they make like sequels and prequels yeah sequel I love
see some of those movies I just I don't understand the appeal like what's
another one that they've sharknado now they don't be talking shit about
sharknado listen I've never seen it I have no desire to see it I'm saying I've
seen three of day of the at least four sharknado movies made they are there so
they're purposely bad and hilarious in how ridiculous the concept is its
satirical camp it really is is right yeah and they've get and they get some
big Nate like David Hasselhoff was in like the third or fourth guys David
hello ladies and gentlemen don't hassle the hoff that's in the building and he
is sober yeah oh yeah like they're they're hilariously bad on purpose and
it's kind of amazing but it's not like I mean Human Centipede like they did that
on purpose they were like we're gonna make this movie that's going to gross
the shit out of everybody yeah Shami we're gonna make more of them
yes yeah they suck and then people were like yo what's up or do you see that all
right yeah I'm gonna watch it ones no one's paying to see sharknado not now
what that's why they put it up for free on sci-fi channel and then now to Anna's
on Netflix you just watch it for free someone owns sharknado someone owns like
the volumes of shark say why is the boxed set but I bet you box set cost
about eight bucks so how about we've gotta make a good
movie about a tornado it carries a whole bunch of sharks to
land and the sharks eat people falling through the sky yeah it's raining sharks
do you create a hypothetical scenario where someone is developing this product
we have been talking about no I was just coming up with the fresh idea although
fresh do what about catfish right it's like a tropical depression right all
right how about guilt dog will make a cartoon called cat
one cites a dog the other side I don't like doing we know they poop how do they
poop well we'll leave that answer to this callus alright alright good stuff
good stuff thanks for carrying it yeah sharknado though if you haven't checked
out you should check it out well kind of never seen sharknado I haven't seen it
either you should probably never all over on Netflix if you like Lua if you
have an hour and a half to kill and you're like I'll watch something stupid
sharknado there's so many not stupid things though that like I have yet to
see that you could kill Anna but I could kill an hour and a half with that I feel
like why am I gonna go into this world and subject myself to storms with deadly
fish Tara Reid loses an arm spoilers Dave I don't care which I'm so be like
me Tony who Keyser söze is a so say yes no spoilers mm-hmm that's from usual
suspects yes which I have seen great movie it's good movie it's great movie
yeah it's good movie this is good or great I said it was great didn't I then
you said it was good yeah well can it be both I don't know it can be great is a
value of good what's another I haven't seen Titanic I think I mentioned that
before yeah but seem Titanic right yep yeah
pretty sure that boat goes down yep spoilers Oh 20 years later after the
movie way longer after the actual event yeah didn't see it though you've seen
the Fight Club though right Yeah right clubs good and so that's one of those
that I feel like everyone needs to see I've seen it and I read the book really
yeah I haven't read many movie book adaptations like the books from the
movies or the movies to the books there's only been a few that I've read
and seen a movie - do you read the Harry Potter's I did read the Harry Potter's
those are amongst them Lord of the Rings read those I could not reel or
no no it was boring his fuck I read him the prologue I literally detect it
through the prologue of lore the Rings oh that's a shame not really I read them
when I was young and my biggest issue was keeping all the characters separate
in my head there's a lot of them and a lot of them had this like similar names
like even even so much like Sauron and Saruman that's pretty damn close it's
like yeah they're both bad news and you know spoilers again Dave yeah those
movies came out a long time ago too the books came out even longer ago yep
even longer ago yeah I mean it conveys a message yep you know I'm saying I get
you know you feel me but like another one that I've always wanted to read I
also need to apparently catch up with the shows Game of Thrones oh yeah
Game of Thrones is I mean it we're about to move into the last season or we did
with the season finale not too long ago yeah but we're not about to move into
last season there's buddy got a year and a half maybe I don't know but yeah the
the books are really good the the fourth one isn't but yeah why is it it's before
it's show boring really they take like so the fourth and fifth
books were supposed to be one book but there was just so much content they
split it into two books and you put all the shit characters one of them so it's
like it's fallen like Sansa's bullshit for a long time and trying to murder who
else is in the fourth like I blocked it from my mind because it took me so long
to read that book because I just hated it that's the one like I don't care
about any of it but like maybe it's not getting better
see now that there's they get to the fifth book where it's like Daenerys and
John and Arya and like Jamie and like the cool people like yes this is well
looking for were dragons and and White Walkers and shit now I read a have you
ever read The Dark Tower series by Stephen King you read no of her good
things by though it's incredible book series like so much so that I refuse to
see the movie because there's just too much for it to be any anywhere close to
as good as though the books were I've heard I've heard
both opinions about the the movie from people who love the books uh one one
said that it was it was it what they both claimed you know it not it's not
the books like it's not gonna be exactly at the books but one claims that it was
very good and it references a lot of other Stephen King material and just
necessary and and then and then the other one said it was just a shit
adaptation I mean I'm fine I like the idea of Aegis Elba as rolling wasn't
sure about Matthew McConaughey as the main in black but I mean I didn't have
any issues with the casting I just knew that when you take a seven series long
book I mean a seven book long series and try and put it into a two two and a half
hour movie was that what they did is it supposed to be the entire story in one
book I don't know I don't know I I don't know what it's supposed to be but there
was one book in The Dark Tower series that kind of veered you off of the
course you're like following these characters from one book and then
another book and in a third book and then it's like here let me tell all of
you a story and then it's a completely different book for the entire book and
you don't go back to those characters I mean that until the very end like that's
that's a big thing with Stephen King there's a story yeah where he did that
in what uh stand by me and shit I want to say I want to say didn't it and
dreamcatcher like a bunch of stuff where you're like what where the what this is
totally different now why are we bothering with this shit I mean you
didn't the stand yeah yeah I mean I mean it's still a great series it's it just
it definitely pumps you for their for a second where you have to stop and make
it through another story where you don't really relate to the characters and then
you start relating to the characters and then the book ends and you're like up
well that's that nice little tangent yeah but I don't
read enough anymore I don't read enough I read in the bathroom a lot
well it's good yeah it's good I mean I could read on my phone I'm reading The
Walking Dead 20 phone graphic novels you know my
phone but not like book books yeah you know book books I've been trying to read
more book I have a lotta book books I need to get through
like ton of book books like I think I have 50 or something upstairs that are
unread no and then a like yeah I finished all the The Dresden Files books
that are out which was like 15 books plus a collection of short stories I did
Benton just under a year and now I'm reading another series and there's just
so much more to read I pretty much only read news articles and like different
research stuff online looking up different facts or whatever usually
arguing with someone online about something I don't know a lot about right
so I'm like oh let me let me go look this up real quick yeah I don't make
enough time for research which is why I never say anything on Facebook I stay
pretty quiet on Facebook I mean I'll fight just for the sake of
fighting yeah Andrew I've seen him do it it's true I'll fight and then like see
that the fight is like one-sided and in flip sides like fight for the other side
like wait a second with this guy if you're gonna start arguing with this guy
I'm gonna be on his side no I see your perspective now turns out orange is the
new black that's a pretty strong claim there Dave it was a hypothetical
orangist orange orange is still orange yeah it's not the new black mm-hmm
unless Jason wants argue about it on Facebook can it be both there is I don't
know can it can't it be both oh it can't be both you're right
can't it though yeah I think we might agree I don't know but I'm not gonna
waste any more of our audience's time on this whoa whoa do not get enough sleep
no oh why not working two jobs at the moment I don't have a day off until this
time next week oh my heart goes out to you that does sound awful yeah are they
paying yeah yeah they pay me I'm getting paid
good get owpain that's good money is money is important money is
something that pays my bills yeah does it uh-huh
how many bills do you have several several so I was out cutting my grass
this has nothing to do with whatever stupid thing y'all were talking to right
now yeah good go I I was out cutting my
grass because uh because it was tall it was talked about admit it didn't need to
be cut didn't want to be cut it was sort of in an area this emo I don't even know
what that means it's sort of in an area that's just
green space designated and so it's gone a little wild but a bunch of trash got
kind of like left out and forgotten out there so I basically cut a huge swath to
get to it so that I could throw it all away recycle throw it all away you know
whatever basically just get rid of it it's nice or like who's recycle throw it
all away you guys get it so anyway I was out there cutting my grass and wouldn't
you know it the next thing happens to me boom Yellowjackets a color in my body
yeah they got me on the knuckles they got me on the ankles yeah I was wearing
shorty shorts and a short sleeve shirt so they didn't bully all out yeah but
they didn't fortunately go up in the booty anything like that didn't have to
worry about that but uh but they did they were on such high alert that they
they didn't just sting me and like get their aggression out and fly away they
latched on like suicide squad will just start like going going in and just
biting and dump me as much venom into me as they absolutely could and not letting
go you fucked up oh yeah it was an old nest
yeah like the hole in the ground was was probably about talking box cup sized
good delicious jockey box cup sized you like a mug the same size as the hole of
a yellowjacket nest so they and I was actually bleeding from all the
all the wound damn but then the swelling mm-hmm that came
afterwards closed up all the post up all the the bleeding holes it was sort of
like a problem that solved itself right except you saw the pain to deal with uh
well it just became itchy and sort of hard to move but when was this this is
yesterday oh Jesus I don't see him until I tell him sweet
little lies well I mean y'all weren't talking so I thought I'd tell the story
about winter fun I do like our winter fun stories more specifically yours but
anyway yeah so a little summer fun for you guys watch where you're cutting in
the tall grass cuz Yellow Jackets will get that ass
they didn't get your ass no not specifically I just meant you know your
your being when I say self I mean your baby Jason just called my being an ass
yeah which ass well yeah they messed me up good that sucks
so later on with vengeance in my heart because they weren't really in the way
they were kind of off in their own wild space and identified you I was actually
the one that came and chopped up the top of their home and they were only
defending their home right but I didn't care because I'm a human Yeah right and
so I feel like I am your domain and master of this domain even though that
really is just an entitlement that we give ourselves right so I went and got a
big old jug of poison and i sat there and I smoked cigarette and I waited
until it cooled off and all the little Yellow Jackets went down into their hole
to start rebuilding you know and then I just went in there chemical agents oh it
was fierce you used to like turn the bottle oh man yeah and then I like stood
over them like it was a street fight like righted them yeah a bunch of shit
yeah get up you can't get up that's right can't you are poisoned yeah
because of the nerve agent right now I wish I could have been there
to be your hype man oh yeah yeah I felt better gee it's weak I mean they're
still they're still probably alive you know I was a big nest I feel like I got
enough to feel like they're gonna talk to each other they're gonna decide and
they're gonna be in your bed tonight when you know mmm oh yeah I'm good and
tired it's been a long day a talkie box in and hello full of beer house and I'm
gonna just do a blank you know oh that blanket looks weird I'm just gonna lay
on it anyway oh that's Yellowjackets they end up forming factions inside
about whether or not they focus on rebuilding or seeking their vengeance
and the rogue faction decides to seek its vengeance I've always hoped to be
the catalyst for like a big political uprising yeah like an evolution of
something that we just deem below us there's all of a sudden it's like you
know what I've had enough kill them all yeah kill all humans if I feel like
Jason could be the catalyst for like North and South Dakota to like give up
their differences become just Dakota and then come and kill him
yeah just unite in their hatred of him that's something that Justin and I were
talking about I I speculated to him this question which is something that is
actually a big part of who I am and both of you kind of know it if you had the
option of getting rid of all of the hate that people have for each other in this
world and taking it all upon yourself oh so now there is no longer hate between
nations religions Reed's anything but everybody hates you yeah would you
sacrifice would you do that for the world
what happens if I die all the hate just gone they probably keep on hating you
but you probably care a lot less I mean like so the the hate would just remain
for and that's it yeah I'd never be hate for
anything else you know I was saying that the mantle should be passed down
me and Jason agreed on this as well at least he that's what that there could be
a a hate icon like the Dread Pirate Roberts yeah I think it's passed down
it's just called Dave Montero oh you have to ground a new day here the new
day fuck you Dave yes he gets it Oh get out of here you know shit you
were specifically talking about me no no no for me okay I was actually talking
about a lot of my behavior leans towards that we're like if people are fighting
I'll just make a big scene and then get everybody to hate me see I wouldn't I
think I want us all right you know I'd like to say that I would definitely take
on the hatred but I wouldn't want to pass it on to somebody else I feel that
was the betterment of the world yeah Justin's only saying that you would pass
it on in case the hatred came back after your death if the hatred does not come
back there is absolutely no reason to pass that right unless you're somebody
you hate right but then there's a good reason why people hate you right there
but they can just remain secretly you know indebted to the cause even if
nobody knows that they hate them so you may just you would monitor situations
and pass it on just in case the hate subside would you martyr
yourself in that capacity would you do that for society would you take all the
hate upon yourself I mean are they gonna kill me these ants or are they just
gonna keep hating see that's why I said it depended on the circumstance laughing
yeah mmm I like pretty protected in my castle on the hill or am I just a
regular dude who can't even like get people to realize oh it doesn't matter
if they're gonna kill me cause like they're not gonna kill me it's just
gonna be worse like they're guys exactly what I like I don't want to live that
life yeah that's all empty loneliness where I can't go to the supermarket
without someone shitting in their hand and throw it in my face that much yeah
like I'm compelled to use my one a month just to have some ammunition right and
nail this fucker your understanding hey yeah that's
tense hatred right what happens if they see me twice then I mean they're willing
to make that sacrifice I guess yeah they're willing to go on record
everybody gets one but they can only hope that they see you on their birth
what about what about you Justin would you martyr yourself in that fashion
would you take on the world's hate I like I said it would depend on the
circumstances that I live in once the site takes our I'm a demon and I'm
giving you this option on taki box right now will you take the world's hate upon
your shoulders no all right they will kill me 90
protection hate upon your shoulders will you end all hate by being the hated like
I want to say like if if it was just hate that guy then yes but if it's like
I hate that guy and here's what I'm gonna do to fuck of his life then no
yeah well I'm sorry I hate that guy and I'm probably their p.m. they're gonna do
something about it we're willing to do stuff now that's
true is placed hate yeah yep look at eggs thrown at you I'm coming
Malak eggs cut your face I don't want you know keep my face cut slash your
tires break you're willing to do that yeah please take take the hate I would
and I probably eventually be on second date or or commit suicide Bryan S&M
Bryan hashtag take the hate take the hate Bryan
hashtag by the way Bryan one take the hate I bet you would
he's a good guy he's a lot better than you are yep yeah he's also a lot better
than you are he's a lot are doing that right he might be better than Justin
Justin said promise Lee fella yeah but he's got a lot of dark secrets oh you
should tell us one of those secret tell us one of your dark see one of these are
secrets I'm always like be truthful about it one of my darks yep did you
kill a guy no don't tell about that one I don't want I don't want to be involved
one time when I was young if this is a fucking song when I was a young boy my
father turned to the city mama told me when I was young no I took
a bead like an arts-and-crafts speed and I put it in my ear as if I were a secret
agent and I had to get a panic often have beads in their ears right it was my
it was my imaginary earpiece right cutter you know yeah can you read me
hello and I'm not surgically removed but they
definitely had to take some some big old medical tweezers yeah to yank that shit
out of my ear a tackle tweezers those are different from regular tweezers no
yeah yeah because they're way big and scary
they called them alligator clamps as if a boy of age like I need to hear that
no but they were they were they're a big okay they looked like big tweezers yeah
you don't want to get the clamps clamps alligator clamps is what like the
dentist used to hold that little napkin over your or like to clip you like to
bed seat you I don't know if you guys ever had emergency surgery as a child
but an old tactic back in the 1400s when I was a kid it was called bed shooting
where instead of holding you down they would basically put a sheet over you and
then strap that sheet down to the side of the bed so tight and use clamps oh so
so comfortable you could not move right to fight back during surgery or wind up
hurting yourself or or others or others it's fun while it's going on right we
can do that too if you want it's kind of scary when you're little I commit yep
probably when you're when you're big it's probably just ridiculous it
probably just makes you feel real stupid oh yeah I'm like a burrito
yeah like a sandwich yeah yeah I cracked my
ear on a coffee table woof and they had to sew my ear back together what a dark
secret that's not really talking about when he got clamped yeah that wasn't his
dark secret no no dark secret I want your dark secret one of them all
right well you can't have those those are too dark
I've got one that's just kind of shady one time I really liked this girl and
she didn't have the same feelings for me but she decided she had feelings for
about three of my friends and in that order you know like date you for a
little while okay no date you for a little while and the whole time I'm like
pledging my undying love and so this is way back before I realized how to play
the game and you're not supposed to do stupid stuff like that nope pledge your
undying love for somebody this was leading into your cynical phase right
this was getting very close to their place to be so basically I felt very
jaded by this young lady right and I created a curse ritual where I basically
tried to you know wish harm upon her and the very next day she totaled her
automobile and her and her sister and her best friend I went to the hospital
for like two weeks oh wow and I don't think I'm responsible
but I felt real real bad real bad and I bought her a teddy bear and I don't
think we have a spoke again dad Jason I hate to be the bearer of bad news but
the bearer of bad news you cursed that girl yeah her ster are
you sure though I mean are you not bid I did cursor but wasn't an effective curse
or is she just a city driver the world will never know it will it's impossible
to disprove a negative so there's about me a dark secret yeah yeah yeah I
you say he's black magic on people and I don't anymore because it's bad so they
tell you it's wrong don't do it don't do it kids what about you do white white
magic only use the hoodoo and before you say anything if you tell me that that's
a wig I'll be crushed yeah I'm gonna do that one day though definitely doing
that just reveal it to the world new you ever tell you by the time I shot my dad
in the face with the with the with a water gun like a water cannon
no yeah so years and years ago was gonna be doc yeah not really I bet it took
place in the Sun you're like I said this though no it was my dad used to wake me
up for church on Sunday mornings right and one time I wouldn't wake up and so
he like dump water on my face and that angered me so the next day was his day
off he got to sleep in and I was I would I would ride to school with my mom who
was a teacher at one school on the way to mine so I would ride school her drop
her off and then take her car to my school and then pick her up in the
afternoon so I was like hey like we were walking to the car I was like oh I
forgot my wallet never run you know run back upstairs I
pull out this giant super soaker mm from the closet bag filled up the night
before kicked in my parents door it shot my dad in the face with like all gallon
of water from this thing you have told me I was like time to wake up I feel
like I have heard this I may have said on the show I don't know I think you
might have said it on the strange it I shot my dad in the face with a 22 all
right yeah we'll be much darker eyes are does he still have a nose I mean it's
not he lived he let me do it though good and he forgave you so that's that's
really what this is about it's about loving your family and
forgiveness right after shooting them after you shoot them blank in the head
with a gun I didn't do that he says they just say
change it - I certainly if I totally did that dark dark darkness here is I mean I
can tell you the dark story of the the skit that I wanted to put Steve Irwin
that's pretty dark that's pretty dark it's pretty dark maybe but since we
might actually do that out you know yeah leave it away leave it alone yeah oh
yeah so um do you have any like really dark scenes I don't know
I need a kind of vengeance thing on a girl once
it was stupid like it was this petty bullshit but like this girl broke up
with me so I was dating this girl and she was kind of a pilot and I was like
you know I've you guys know I'm not really much for that but I told her like
I can't tell you what to do I would just appreciate it if you wouldn't smoke
around me and for a while that was fine and then she uh she started like instead
of hanging out with me she'd go hang out with our friends and and get stoned with
them and that irritated me but I was like trying to make it work
and Christmas came along I was going to visit my family for Christmas down down
south and I caught her like hey you want you want hang out night I'm you know I'm
leaving tomorrow so yeah I'm going this probably my friends but you coming on me
like well get ready it's like for like 20 minutes while you put on some makeup
she said well do you want to see me or not like Jesus okay and so that's the
exact who idea went over there we hung out for like 20 minutes she got you know
did her hair and makeup and then we you know had our goodbye kiss and then she
went to a party the next day I went down south to visit my parents on the way
back a few days later I call her up like hey come back to town you wanna do
something sick yeah actually we need to talk it's a five-hour drive
from from Waycross where I grew up up to Quinet County where I was living at a
time where I just had had five hours to scream at my steering wheel and
everybody on the road so uh yeah she broke up with me you know
where because she'd rather get hot to be with me apparently at the time anyway oh
there was uh there was probably another guy that was a smoker that she had
probably had an interest in she as far as I know didn't actually date anybody
else for another like six months we worked together so like I knew a lot of
her social I was tracking her but um so I got a friend of mine to pose as the
new girl that I was dating we went to the restaurant we were working yet and
like try to make her jealous that way I guess that was really some petty
bullshit well a couple years later I was actually living with that bad girl that
I faked it with and and her fiancee and then husband and Heath my ex actually
ended up hooking up where she met that girl again and never realized it was the
same one I had been on a date with so dirty laundry I would love to meet a
girl like uh like that like an Aubree all dree plaza Aubrey Aubrey Plaza you
know in the parks and recreation big fan big big fan her role in that show was
was sort of like she was smart but she was like dark and sort of like flights
of fancy and stuff and and her and Pratt Chris Pratt you know they had that
relationship where they would always like just have ridiculous fun roleplay
session yeah yeah and involve like other people random strangers right friends
and whatever in the oceans I would love to have somebody l'absolu it I could
just go into a restaurant and be like hey you want to just mess with people
today sure like British royalty like what do you want to do like you name the
tune and we'll dance so let's do it and then yeah like that ah just somebody
to just play with yeah my world in that capacity I did something similar to that
at the same restaurant actually where I I was I was
server something and I had asked out this hostess and we were we were eating
at the restaurant and one of the girls that worked there who apparently had a
crush on me it turns out saw was eating and got she was like oh my god are you
guys like together and we convinced her that we had just gotten engaged we were
celebrating it was it was on Valentine's Day
we were celebrating our engagement and then the girl is with was like you know
my mom actually lives in Vegas we could fly out tonight and get married on
Valentine's Day and this other girl is just losing her mind because we were
playing it off so well we did not get married entertained did you wind up
hooking up with the other girl I didn't hook up with either actually well
everybody everybody lost this is like no one wanted yeah it's just terrible for
everyone unamerican ending dark yeah dark I don't know if that was dark but
yeah sad they're leaking a dark I think maybe Justin tells me that black mirrors
coming out with another season is it I need to catch I've seen the first season
was it Justin that told me that I don't know if it was Justin that told you that
okay maybe that might be news to me someone someone mentioned that black
mirror was coming out with another season and I was really looking forward
to it because apparently it's gonna stay British which means it'll probably stay
good was there an option for it not to be I mean there's always an option for
America to pick it up and smoke that's American guests on it though right
haven't they oh yeah okay oh yeah I I've seen the first season I really enjoyed
it I need to keep watching Netflix has it weird though where it like the way
it's set up on Netflix it start yeah he's in three and so you had like
scroll around like the upper back yeah they're all set up words it starts with
like the most current season yeah and which it doesn't normally do that with
Nexus I don't know I like that but yeah good show though weird Joe David why
does the internet suck today David it's your location location location yeah you
say it three times it makes it important and
one or build you shows up oh you know don't do that what if I do it oh okay
speaking of beatlejuice beatlejuice I was shit I watched a thing on Netflix of
OB oh dude ah well it had that Michael Keaton fella
right I like Michael Keaton yeah and it's called the founder I think okay
yeah about the beginnings of McDonald's - a McDonald's and Ray Kroc is the name
of the the founder of McDonald's and I actually knew that before watching this
because they post his name inside McDonald's with a little plaque and it
says our founder I get bored in line real easy so I'll read every posted only
going one why are you going on McDonald's - why are you going inside
McDonald's all right one cuz that's below is McDonald's and - and does make
it good it used to not be as bad yeah but now it is so yeah I'm not talking
about yesterday I went there and discovered this Ray Kroc fellas last
week no I like at least two weeks ago yeah it was still bad yeah it was uh
knows I don't know I was probably like 12 13 the first time I saw Ray Kroc and
the reason that I remember the guys name was because Ray Kroc ain't ray
McDonald's or Ronald meets or or Ronald or anything his name is Ray Kroc yeah
but apparently the founder is a based on a true story of Ray Kroc and how he was
a restaurant salesman he was kind of a dick yeah he was a salesman who had
issues making sales making a name for himself he came across
yeah that's rude hey phone's off of the talkie box he came across McDonald's in
like Southern California I'm pretty sure and it was two guys brothers named
McDonald's not like plural McDonald's yeah like dick McDonald and like okay so
it was it wasn't McDonald's it was McDonald
yeah mr. McDonald on the possessive gotcha well yeah yeah so so basically
yeah so basically he goes to this to this place after you know servicing
restaurants and selling different equipment to restaurants for a good
portion of his career and they have reinvented making and selling hamburgers
and french fries they have patented a system which they
call the speedy system which is all about the placement of the items in the
kitchen and like basically Jurgen ah mcc's within the kitchen as far as like
moving items from station to station and placing all of the appropriate stations
near each other like you know you go from grill to the sandwich board so that
people can be prepping the buns while the meat is cooking and then they
patented this ya they basically created a a kitchen design right specifically
for expediting there so if I were to happen to make a restaurant and having
never even heard of this like basically subject to the exact same system because
it just works they would come and sue me yep you know I think back then you know
they may not have even had you know they made deals on handshakes and stuff back
then and that's how people got ripped off because they would believe the
handshake deal and then there'd be like well there's no contract but and that
actually Hannibal purchased to the McDonald's guys because all of their
royalties for McDonald's was based on a handshake deal that could never be
proven in court later oh the guys who created the restaurant and had their
name attached to the restaurant got shut out got shut out Oh Ray Kroc who went to
them sold them the franchise idea basically floundered for a while until
another guy who was a lot smarter than him came on board told him you don't
need to mess with franchise you need to mess with real estate buy the land that
the McDonald's are being built on and in lease the McDonald's the
land so and then you can control the interest of all the properties on that
land and so he basically went in and bought the land out from under all of
these McDonald's starting buying land for every franchisee from that point on
and forcing them to lease the land from him so McDonald's Corporation was
developed off of being the like number one real estate holder in America for a
good portion Wow of time where they basically just bought up plots of land
and then owned all those plots land and only McDonald's could be there it was it
was smart that guy who came in and told Ray Kroc how to make money there's a
really smart guy it was unfrozen done that himself he
probably said oh yeah but and it also shows like some of his personal life
like how he was kind of a douche he had a little bit of an unsupportive wife who
eventually started to come around and then he divorced her so that he could
marry one of his franchisees wives oh he got her to divorce yeah her husband so
that sounds like a guy who gets what he wants
apparently no matter what the - yeah no matter what the cost so we painted him
as like an American icon but also kind of like a brick yeah he's definitely got
us failing I do wonder how close it is to the actual truth though cuz a lot of
these biography type movies they don't think they dramatize the hell out of it
yeah and they and they play up a lot of different aspects but was the there's
that movie with the banner sash cummerbund that uh he's like a Code
Breaker something for World War two of things Oh about the autistic guy the
imitation game the attention game yeah and and in that the character is gay and
or the the man he was portraying his gay apparently they they play it up in the
movie a lot more than anybody really gave a shit when it was going on what I
understand it doesn't surprise me and and she's like they made it like oh like
oh this gay guy and in reality there like this guy oh he's
gay in the imitation game they don't really address it until about halfway
through the movie like I'd seen him so anyway it's a good movie yeah and and
they don't really even address him being gay they just you know he's he's neat
and you could tell that he's very particular inside his own head and that
he doesn't have a lot of externalize desires at all through the movie and so
you kind of just get an awkward since about him and then eventually it is
revealed that he's gay and and it becomes sort of a dramatic hindrance for
the movie it may not have been such a dramatic hindrance in real life because
he was breaking a code so that we could win the war right and you know if you're
doing that you could probably eat babies they'll still be like as long as it's
just once a month it's okay you get one baby should I pick yeah I did not know
that as long as you're right no but I knew about you know one one shit your
pants a month I did not realize you could eat one baby a month if you were
cracking your code for the war for the war yeah we have to be winning the war
whatever the war may be right as long as you are on the side that is currently
winning and you are the reason that they're winning that we need one baby
you know get up free baby a month pass now is it like a forced baby like you
have to eat one baby a month or is it optional actually yeah okay good yeah I
mean everybody's got it's not singular roll over yeah who's who picks the baby
I mean you do Oh as are the hero does whoever they you know what it been me
you know like okay this baby won't even take the world's hate on your shoulders
nope I'm a real selfish prick yeah you're like the world can just keep on
hatin cuz I don't want to get pied in the face or also possibly assassinated
yeah I do not want to get assassinated and tied down and shit on die down and
sit on Human Centipede style Oh eat it oh it's yeah we shouldn't
answer I'm sorry you're terrible you're not sorry I don't
have a good filter that's one of the things that like I still understand how
a movie like that cut me like why not only how it got me but like why do
people want to see that I think that's so awful yeah I mean I can somebody
thought about it somebody like it's like rush it to a studio I wrote a script
somebody paste it somebody bought it yeah made it like a bunch of they were
lighting guys were on there there was a guy holding up my oh you be paid
people's bills yeah that was a bill payer and people went and paid money to
see that in theaters yeah it was with other people around right and not just
I'd like to see the bhoot this this awful end like you know people the box I
was like really all right here's your I'd like to go to that movie just to sit
with my back to the movie and stare at all the people that are watching it a
piece or are you you're all bad people yeah
hey judging this guy right here I'm judging all yeah I paid just so much you
guys did to be here but I don't have to watch it yeah I'm not watching it I'm
watching y'all you guys are what I want to see here because I don't ever want to
see you outside of here and I'll tell you this if I don't care if every like
anybody I see not covering their eyes at certain points mmm that guy up there
he's got 3d goggles on it's not even a 3d brought a camera he won he want to
record this I'm taking this home he's putting this on Torrance oh there are
some movies I don't understand how gruesome and disgusting they can be I
bought it but it's like I saw hostile under false pretenses really I realize
it was a torture porn movie I thought it was just kind of like a thriller kind of
movie I didn't realize I was gonna see some crows ass shit it disturbed me yeah
yeah like a neurological like I actually felt ill and I've never watched a movie
they'd like disturb me to a physical right before it was very like the one
scene that you know there are certain actions when he hamstring that was hell
yeah yeah that what I don't know if I made it today I got to
the hamstring it was like I hmm yeah I gotta stop watching this I guess
a second one which I did not want it's amazing how certain like staged
acts of brutality seem to affect us more than others and what sometimes ones that
maybe you would think wouldn't it affect you as much as some of the more gruesome
things we see do and like the Achilles tendon is a great example like we see
people get stabbed in the gut in a fake way on movies and you're like oh the
capitated yeah the cab head cut off it's like oh ooh damn but then we watch
somebody get their Achilles tendon clip and you're like oh right now because
yeah it just it oh so terrible it's like watching them
kill a dog on a movie it's like what's your problem well watch you kill people
you kill a dog suddenly we got problems Bucky right Saving Private Ryan we seen
it yes you seen it yep good for you yeah good for the both of you
yep if you haven't seen it what kind of world do we live in have you seen Pulp
Fiction absolutely yeah you yeah I've seen Pulp Fiction all right yeah
Reservoir Dogs yep Reservoir Dogs yeah four rooms
yeah 4 rooms yeah I've seen it memento yeah The Sixth Sense yep
all right all right I was actually going 6 since after momento yeah earlier when
I was compiling this leads I picked the one right out of your brain I picked it
out or you put it there one of the two the world may never know
uh-huh now who's using black magic I never know well the clock on the wall
says the same thing you said last week but also that we're uh we're out of time
patter and this week I learned adjacent cursed a girl in a wreck in her car it's
crazy possibly killing you know everybody there I didn't remind me that
you always remind my desire you know they could have they definitely didn't
die okay remind me to always remind Jason when
we're still having a show without him I don't want to a curse on me oh yeah
he's up okay Jason's parents we didn't tell him we were gonna do the
show last week even though he wasn't here hmm although in doubt till I was
like we've done it before like we did it without you once yeah but I told him
that day like oh you can't make it all right well Dave and I are gonna go ahead
and do the show anyway is you know I hope that's cool if it's not you know I
can do bad shit but still in the same vein too much well that's fine I was
taking it too bad but just like not even consideration to Vegas I assumed that
Justin I usually ride together so I think I just assumed that you know I
didn't find out till I got the mass text yesterday or whatever and I was like who
was this guy he did he accidentally miss type a word and you're like that's the
guy that we like better than you and I was like that guy I knew it was going to
happen but I wasn't prepared yeah it's like a band-aid real quick better to
just jerk it off you're ready you're right I'm ready you're ready and you're
ready you're right Ronnie would you learn what did I learn that that
McDonald's was created by a big old dick big old dick named Ray Kroc yeah yep
what'd you learn I learned the two shots your father in the face with a 22
handgun now what happened I did not say a handgun either
yep a little embellishment for fun right yeah and that's not okay Dave it would
not be okay if that is what I'd have you tell him you're sorry
the next time I see him next time you see them they're in California I guess
I'm right on this bullet hole mwah I'm sorry dead-on that have a great night
good night everybody good night
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