Thứ Hai, 4 tháng 9, 2017

Waching daily Sep 5 2017

誰かを抱き締められるように (So I Can Hold Someone Close) English translated by Releska

Somewhere inside me, I believed

That I would reach you again someday.

All along, I prayed

For someone to notice.

Awaiting footsteps and the sound of the wind,

Only the memories I preserved remained.

The world I look high up in the sky at (here)

Doesn't seem to be the same colour anymore

But the countless days I went through must have made them stronger (gentler)—

So I can hold someone close…

Today, too, somewhere in the distance,

The sounds of falling tears resound.

If the world someone looked up at

Will change, then…

I want to share a trifling happiness,

Enough to surprise them a little.

The world I swam through in my dreams (drifting…)

Calls forth my memories of that day once more.

Still, if we can experience a gentle tomorrow (together) and smile,

There will be no need to look back.

Hey, I wonder if there's even such a thing as a firm answer…

Hey, for now, I'm going to believe in my heartbeat.

The world I look high up in the sky at (here)

Doesn't seem to be the same colour anymore

But the countless days I went through must have made them stronger (gentler)—

So I can hold someone close…

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Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

make a wish

in three

in two

in one

(party horn, laughter, applause)

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Skin Cancer: The Before - Duration: 7:57.

Hey guys Bonnie here! Today, I want to talk to you about something that's happening to me

That's a little bit scary

and I'm a little bit freaked out about and

It's really important to know about and so stay tuned we're gonna talk all about the big scary c-word: cancer

Okay, so before anybody gets the wrong idea or too freaked out

We're talking about skin cancer and in my case a really really non-lethal none scary kind

it could be way way worse, but they did find some and

These past few months, weeks

I've just been trying to wrap my head around it trying to figure out all my options what it means

Why I have it etc etc

It's been a whirlwind to say the least and what with all the problems in the world

I know mine is so so so small

Little teeny thing little tiny spot that needs to be removed and as luck would have it it has to be removed from my face

Of course right first time right in the center of my face, but that's the fact and I wanted to hop on camera here

Just eight hours before I go into the doctor to get it removed

So you could see a before and so I can tell you a little bit about the diagnosis

And how we got here, and I then I will tell you all about the procedure how it went down

Feelings pain etc and show you the healing process so here we go, okay so first off

How did this even get started well a long time ago

I want to say maybe a year ago could be longer could be not so long. I really don't remember

I had a spot on my nose that

Took forever to heal it was a little spot a little sore I want to say it was from a pimple or something

I don't even remember

Scratched at a piece of skin whatever, so there's open sore, and I just remember it took forever to heal

nothing

Catastrophic or groundbreaking. I just remember thinking why is this stupid sore not healing on my face

so fast forward maybe a month or so it did finally heal and

created like a little

Flesh colored bump it wasn't red. It was an open sore or anything that was totally healed over

It was just a bump and every now and again. I would kind of rub it and think what was that? Why did it scar?

Whatever didn't think much about it

Something in back my mind though did make me a little concerned

I remember having heard in the past that

Skin cancers can manifest themselves in the form of sores that don't heal or take forever to heal so

That was kind of niggling in the back of my mind and fast forward about a year

And I had noticed on a couple of my favorite blogs

That people were coming out talking about skin cancer and their experience with it and all of a sudden

I start getting just a little more aware not really concerned

But just aware that it was something that could happen to me. I have a pretty strong family history of skin cancer

My great-grandma had it, my grandma's had it several times

My mom has had it a ton of times

But I was just kind of thought of it as something that happened to people who never wore sunscreen or people who laid out half

their lives or

People who were old I guess and I was none of those things , I always wear sunscreen, I never lay out

I'm not old...yet

So after reading these bloggers' stories, I decided all right

It's time to just go in and get everything checked out

You can go to the dermatologist and just ask for a skin cancer screening and some places

Do a lot more of these than others so if you're concerned about it

I would just look around open Yelp or whatever and

Ask friends for recommendations find a place that specializes

In skin cancer and just ask for a full-body screen so I did that and I went in they strip you down put a hospital

paper robe

thingamajiggy on you and then

The doctor came in with a little like microscope and just head-to-toe scanned me. Checked any mole or freckle that looked weird

Asked me if I had any concerns etc checked everything out everything looked good

She showed me a couple of freckles that said we should keep an eye on and that was about it

And then as she was going to leave she asked me if I had any concerns

So I just said there's this one spot on my nose

It feels weird to bring up because it's totally healed now, but would you mind taking a look so she did?

Looked at it with a special microscope or whatever said it did not look concerning to her

But that if it bothered me, they could do a biopsy so I was like

Yeah, sure whatever. Let's do it, so the biopsy basically

Means that they come in with this little circular

doohickey thing little

Blade slicer thing they put it over the area and just take a little sliver of skin from it now first

They gave me a bunch of shots to numb it up so I didn't feel anything the shots were kind of freaky to

get in your nose, but whatever and

Sliced up a little piece of skin and I was on my way and it healed in probably two weeks

Almost completely, then I get the phone call that hey guess what you were right it is skin cancer

The type of skin cancer they found on me, is called basal cell carcinoma

Which if you have to pick a skin cancer the doctor said, that's the one to pick

Totally non-lethal nobody dies from it it actually doesn't ever spread to other organs or to your bloodstream

So it can't kill you, but it does like break down tissue and destroy tissue

And so if I were to just to let it go it would eventually spread and cause

Weird things I guess I don't know so in short. I couldn't leave it. I had to get removed so there were all sorts of

Feelings and thoughts going through my mind as you can imagine

Number one, how is this fair? I wear sunscreen. I don't lay out. You know clearly I

have the coloring of someone who might end up with some skin cancer, I'm pale and I have freckles but

Just kind of felt gypped right. I'm in my 30s still trying to enjoy life

Feeling young and now this - lame! In fact when I went back to chat with the doctor about my upcoming procedure

I looked around the waiting room and everyone there was at least 70 years old had tanned leathered skin

And you could tell he'd spent a lot of time the sun

And I just felt like saying why am I here this is not fair. So anyway when I wrap my mind around that and realized

Fair or not this was it. I had to figure out what I was gonna

We talked to the doctor and

Thankfully he had decided that because of my age and because the spot was right in the middle of my face that

He is actually gonna be doing the removal of the cancer

And then he's going to send me directly to a plastic surgeon with the wound open

I just drive right there

And then they close me up because the plastic surgeon has a better skill set and can usually end up with a much smaller scar

So that's the plan. That happens in

Like eight hours. I'm about to go to bed and wake up in the morning and go first thing

Here's hoping that it doesn't take very long because if it takes very long that means that they have to keep digging so

The procedure itself is called a Mohs procedure MOHS and what that means is that

Go in they slice off a tiny little sliver of skin

And they immediately analyze it in their

Microscope or whatever and then they can tell if they've gotten all the cancer because they look for good margins

Which means healthy skin around the cancer if they see that they know there's no more cancer anymore

But if they don't then they go back and take another sliver of skin analyze it while I wait and back and forth etcetera

the benefit to this is that they take the minimal amount of skin because

clearly they're not gonna take more if they're the cancer is all gone and

Also, you don't have to keep coming back because they analyze it all right there while you're in the office so

That's good, and then like I said afterwards I drive straight to the plastic surgeon

They close it up and then give me instructions on what to expect how it's gonna heal how long it's gonna take so yeah

There's some nerves some worrying

but here's hoping that I'm in capable hands and that it hasn't gone super deep and that I don't end up with a

humongous scar for a super long time so

Anyway, if you guys have any questions

Drop them in the comments. I'll try to answer them

I'm not an expert

But I really want to share my experience because it was because of other people sharing their experiences that made me go in

And get checked out and who knows what would have happened if I don't let go a lot longer

So that's it for now wish me luck. See you later

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