Oh fantastic! You're just in time my
favorite compadre. In this video, we're
gonna cruise through more Book of
Genesis, Glorious Chapter 9, Epic
Verses 1 to 17. BAM. Let's get into it!
And God gave his bestest blessing to
Noah and his sons the Wonder Triplets,
and said, "Hey homie's. What's shakin these
days? So look, I just popped down from
Heaven quick to say. I need ya to fwuck
the crap outta those fine ladies you
call your wives. No rubbers. Have kids, and
make the earth really full. Like maybe a
couple billion. Let's get this baby
making train started boys. Woo Woo, all
aboard. And, get this, I'm gonna make every
beast of the earth and every bird of the
air; everything which goes on the land,
and all the fishes of the sea scared
shittless of you, because they are given
into your hands. Every living and moving
thing, like slugs and jellyfish for
example, will be food for you; I give them
all to you as before I gave you all
green things. I ain't into that
vegetarian shet no moe. Some good ole
beef'll put hair on your chest. But flesh
with the life-blood in it you may not
take for food. Be humane and merciful to
the beasts which are given to you. Dog
shet fruit cake. And for your blood,
which is your life, will I take payment;
from every beast I will take it, and from
every man will I take payment for the
blood of his brother-man. Whichever fool
takes a person's life, will have their
life justly taken by people; because God
made them all in his image. So don't mess
with that yo. And now, go fwuck and make
some babies; have offspring on the earth
and become great in number. And God said
to Noah and to the Wonder Triplets, Listen
Broeskees, I need to make an agreement with
you and with your seed after you're dead,
And with every living thing with you, all
birds and cattle and every beast of the
earth which comes out of the ark with
you. I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling a tiny
bit guilty for killing everything with
the great flood. I do that sometimes for
some reason. Just then Noah remembered
the dinosaur bones he had discovered but
said nothing of them. Anyway I will make
my promise to you; never again will all
flesh be cut off by the waters; never
again will the waters come over all the
earth for its destruction. Cross my heart
and hope to die. And God said, This is the
sign of the agreement which I make
between me and you and every living
thing with you, for all future
generations:
I will put my rainbow in the clouds and
it will be for a sign of the agreement
between me and the earth. You cool with
that? And whenever I make a cloud come
over the earth, that has a rainbow, I will
fwucking remember the promise between me
and you and every living thing; and never
again will there be a great flow of
waters causing destruction to all flesh.
And so just to be repetitive the rainbow
will be in the cloud, and whenever I look
at it, I'll keep in mind the eternal
agreement between us and every living
thing on the earth. And God said to Noah,
So that's the sign of the promise which
I have made between me and all flesh on
the earth. I'm on the wagon. Just keep in
mind it doesn't cover plagues or killer
asteroids. Okay homie, unfortunately
that's it for this reading. Do you need a
tissue? Seriously, trippy shet huh? I never
knew God had so much guilt for killing
all the puppies and babies in the great
flood. Learn something new every day
mother fwucker he he heeeeeeEeeeee. Pretty sure
I'm about to fade out broe so remember to
slap those like and subscribe buttons
and I'll catch next time on the flip
side. Peace
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