Hey we're talking today about how to be a happier person.
I love that science has finally caught up with this I love that
since this society is finally catching up with this idea that true success is
not success unless you're happy and I know so many people who are successful
but yet they're miserable their discontent they're angry they're
frustrated they are not happy I don't think they're successful I don't know
where you're at right now but we're going to talk today about how to be a
happier person yes it's something you can do yes you have the power and the
ability to do it and we're going to talk about that now all right welcome to
tactical beliefs and course stories what this show is about is about how you can
choose your belief system because it absolutely matters and I changed the
name recently from strategic beliefs to tactical beliefs because you really have
to be really specific about what you want to get out of life and then the
core stories part you know that's about our identity that's about who we tell
ourselves we are and these these stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves
that ends up kind of keeping us in a repeated fail pattern or these invisible
turn styles it keeps us stuck or if you are very strategic and tactical about
your beliefs it can be something that can really lift you and get you
somewhere I hope that makes sense to you today we're talking about happiness can
you really be a happier person and how do you do that now first of all I want
to start off with a myth admit that you have probably bought into because it's
all over society and that is that you either have something or you don't you
know for instance think about athletic people you're either an athlete or
you're not or you're athletic or you're not or think about people who are
musically inclined you either have the gift or you don't yeah you could work at
it but you know there are those people who are just naturally gifted and those
are the ones that are really gonna take off right think about
people who excel in academics you know they're really good at school and it
comes easy for them and then other people they just have to struggle and
work and and study all the time and for them school is hard
well now think about optimists is that something that you are either born an
optimist or not society would have you tell you that yet has to be this
naturally ingrained thing there there are people that are who who are just
naturally optimistic they are naturally happy and naturally yeah everything goes
right for them and then there's the rest of us well I want to tell you that that
is completely untrue and you have the ability right now with whatever whatever
gifts whatever talents whatever personality traits you have been given
you have the opportunity to change that to be an optimist and to be a happier
person in whatever circumstance you find yourself in just whatever is going on in
your life you don't have to wait for things to change and to be more
fortunate for you to feel happier I really think this should be taught in
school and I got to tell you just a little bit okay I'll tell you about a
guy who complained all the time he was so angry and frustrated he was always in
his own head and had these this guy that would come from another state he worked
at this kind of multinational company and when this guy would come from
another state they'd get together and this guy would just complain he'd
complain about the budgets he'd complain about the clients he would complain
about the management or the mismanagement he complained about
everything because he saw things were not the way they should be and it
frustrated him and angered him and he just spent all of his time so focused on
what was going wrong and whenever his friend came in town I'm sure he just
hated to get together with this guy he liked him but he was so negative all the
time and just so mired down with the you know down in the muck in the mud
and the just the horrible stuff of life well I gotta tell you I I have
successfully gotten rid of that person that was me I was so focused on
everything that was going wrong in my life that more things went wrong things
started to fall apart my life started to fall apart I was so focused on
negativity that it was ruining my life it was ruining my health it was ruining
my relationships especially my relationships at home with my children
and with my wife my wife thought that she was the problem she could tell I was
angry and frustrated and she took it on herself and thought she was the cause of
that horrible horrible things I've been so fortunate to have been pulled out of
that right in the nick of time just on the brink and have found that happiness
is a skill I know a lot of people tell you choose happiness and that's all well
and good but you got to understand first happiness is a skill it's like learning
to play the piano or learning to dribble a basketball between your legs or
learning to play the guitar or the violin or something that requires
repetition and consistency and intensity to get good at and that is what
happiness is too it's a set of skills that when you have these and you work at
it and you practice you can be really good at and you can be an optimist and
you can be as naturally optimistic as the people who were just born that way I
hope that makes sense to you I hope you recognize that you have more control
over your life than you think if you want to be a happier person you
absolutely can and nothing else needs to change in your life none of your
circumstances need to change your job doesn't need to change your husband or
spouse doesn't need to change all you need to do is change what you focus on
so I've done a few things I hated a book well creditor book what is that the
seven core skills of everyday happiness I I wrote a book feed you're happy I
created of course get happy now to help people to get
these skills in their lives and I'm going to share with you three of those
skills there were seven core skills that will help people well share with you
three now the first one and these are things that you can absolutely do right
now to get in control of your life to become happier to live an abundant life
to get out of the griping and the moaning and the complaining and the
negativity that is just it's eating away at you trust me I've been there and yes
you could change so let me share with you three things three skills and
actually first let me just point out one thing about a skill is if you practice
it enough it becomes automatic it goes from your conscious mind to your
subconscious mind and just kind of kicks in think about when you're driving do
you really even think about shifting anymore if you have a manual
transmission or if you're parallel parking and you do that a lot do you
even really think about it or is it just this natural thing that you do because
you've done it over and over and over again that's what you want to do with
these skills you want to do them repeatedly so that you can just really
kind of turn that part over on autopilot because these are all positive traits
that you want to have in your life again we're talking about tactical beliefs
that you can change that you can have these skills that you can be in charge
of your life so three skills and the first one is to be grateful now if you
don't trust me just do a little google search type in like gratitude and
science and psychology and see what comes up and you will find study after
study after study where they have discovered that if they can influence
people to be more grateful to have more gratitude in their life their happiness
levels skyrocket they can have people come into a room and they can completely
completely change their life just by having them practice a little gratitude
test for for example maybe they you know maybe they will have them call somebody
on the phone that they love that they haven't said thank you to before and as
they do that like they'll test to see what their gratitude levels are
like you know with their life would they call it their their
assessment of life you know their basically their happiness set point
where they think they are and they can have them do an activity where they
intentionally boost their gratitude levels and it completely changes things
now I will point out one thing super important for you to know and that is
gratitude is recognizing you are the recipient of deliberate kindness there's
this exchange of love somebody has done something kind for you whether it was
through a thought through a deed whatever they have done something kind
for you and you are the recipient of deliberate kindness so if you want to
boost your happiness levels first thing you need to do is to be grateful now the
second thing well the second skill or at least a second skill is to be present be
fully present be right here we rarely live in the moment we rarely live right
here we're always so focused on what's gonna happen we worry and threatened
stress about that or maybe there was something a horrible that happened in
our past and we obsess over this thing and it has become our identity and it
limits us and it makes us feel heavy and way down because something bad happened
back there and now I am horrible person or I am unkind or I am a failure or I am
fat or I am I mean you can think of all these things that are things that happen
in the past and then we build our identity around it well we never really
live in the present we never really get focused on who we are right now and
what's going on right now and living in the moment
meditation is a wonderful thing for really getting in the moment and
recognizing that you have skills that will help you get there and the more you
practice it the more you work at it the more you're able to be fully here you've
been in conversations with people right where you're talking to them and they're
just kind of drifting off or you can tell they're not right here with you
they're they're thinking about something else or they're thinking about what
they're going to say you in retaliation or in retort to whatever
you've said they aren't right here in the moment and rarely are we but if you
can practice that skill of being fully present that's gonna really help boost
your happiest levels so skill number three that I'm going to share with you
is to be full of awe I want you to be awful I want you to just be full of this
excitement of learning new things how long has it been since you have learned
something completely new have you ever tried to learn the violin or the piano
have you ever tried to dribble a basketball between your legs have you
ever tried to brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand have you ever driven
somewhere that you've never gone before on the way to work and notice things
that you had never noticed before it think about what little children are
like they are full of awe they are discovering new things all the time you
can give them a paper bag or a brown box and they are full of adventure on what
that could be if you will deliberately do things in your life that will
challenge you that will allow you to experience things fresh and new that
will change things in your life to where you are able to experience some of these
emotions again and you can be a happier person I just want to share with you
that where you're at right now whatever is going on in your life outside of you
is not as important as what's going on inside it's these core stories we tell
ourselves about who we are and about what we can do and if you want to have
some tactical beliefs you can put some of these things into action and you
could be a happier person what are your thoughts you've had time to think now
it's time for you to share in the comments section below share your
thoughts ideas and questions especially any insights that inspired you to take
action of course the best place to take action is at Scott Wilhite comm because
if you join me for a free web class I will reward
with a purpose planner so you can start each day with confidence clarity and
conviction your identity is your most valuable possession it's who you are why
you're here and what you stand for choose your beliefs and pick your
identity it is choice not chance that determines your reality see you next
time
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