Hello everybody and welcome to The 180 Podcast
right here at St. Paul's Bloor Street.
We're glad you joined us today to hear stories of
transformation and change in people's lives.
My name is Robert Hurkmans, and I'm one of the staff here
at St. Paul's, and this month we've been asking
the question "What does transformation look
like? How to people's lives get turned around by
the power of the gospel?"
So today I'm sitting down with Tina Murrin. Tina, how are you? I'm good Rob, how are you? I'm good.
So Tina is a member here at St. Paul's. You attend the 11 o'clock service? 11 o'clock.
Tina has got an amazing story to tell,.Tina why don't you take us back, give us an idea of
how does this journey, for you, toward your own 180 moment began?
I was baptized as a baby, but never really followed God my entire life. And before you know
I started coming to St. Paul's, I was married for 20 years
My marriage was breaking down...Can I just ask you - what was your career? Or what is your career?
Yeah so I'm a very successful financial officer for a big company.
I went through a lot of heartbreak and you know I was abandoned my mother.
I was in and out of foster care with my brothers and sisters, ended up back with my mother
eventually, you know was abused by my stepfather, and ended up leaving the house when I was 16.
I was in a group home and so for me there was a lot of challenges in my life
really early on and the only thing that was encouraging
to me was school. And so that's where I got my encouragement from and so I ended up doing really
well in school and went to university and you know became very successful in my career as a finance
leader. But there was something missing.
And I felt like I was living a lie. I was living my life for everyone else, except for God and I didn't really
understand that until it became my turning point.
So even with all that, all of that, you still came to this point where you felt like there was an
emptiness or something? Yeah I felt like I had all of this external thing happening,
material things, and wealth, and a marriage that I thought was gonna last forever, but I just
felt something was missing.
Then what happened in in the same year that my marriage was breaking down, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
In the same year. And that for me was the point where I had spent my entire life trying to
control everything around me. I controlled my environment. I controlled my job. I controlled my
people in my life, and this thing came at me like a load of bricks
I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't control it. I couldn't control the outcome. I couldn't control what was gonna happen.
And that's where I felt like wow, this is it.
I don't know what to do. I was completely helpless, hopeless, alone, broken, I didn't know where to go.
Like what stage was this at? So they didn't know. It was the size, the brain tumor was the size of a golf ball.
So it's about two to three centimeters, and was behind my left eye
And they didn't know if it was malignant or benign. They suspected that it was benign which was good.
But I had to go through a whole bunch of tests and I just didn't know what to do.
So what did you do? I had a friend who was Christian and he started to pray
for me and he said "You know what?" he said "Why don't you go to this church that I know about called St. Paul's?
Why don't you go and just pray?" At this point I was like, I've got nothing else to lose!
Like I don't know what to do! Why not?
And so I'll never forget that day it was Palm Sunday in 2017, so I'm very very new to St. Paul's,
it's only been two years for me. But I felt this warmness, I felt peaceful, it was calming, it was absolutely beautiful and
I sat through the service, and I think I probably I cried my eyes through the whole service.
And then afterwards I went into St. Paul's and asked for a prayer
Right so after the service, we always have this prayer time in the chapel and people can go.
So you went. I did. I went there. I met a lady, and she said a prayer for me and
this was a few weeks before my surgery, and she ended up coming to the hospital when I had my surgery
And I was on the prayer list she had sort of spread my story amongst sort of the the prayer list
that she had going and so I had all these people praying for me.
I went to have my surgery, it was a successful surgery, thank God!
Was there also a change of kind of like, did your priorities kinda change? Did it rearrange your whole way of thinking?
To kinda come face to face with your own mortality? Yeah it did, I mean I was
like all this stuff. Stuff and that's what I call it now. Stuff.
That I thought I had, or I had, didn't mean anything. It really didn't mean anything.
Because I was faced with my own mortality and I didn't know what was gonna happen on the operating table.
And you know I was asked to prepare my will and power of attorney, and all these things
that I never thought about. But it was like it was a big shock. I didn't really know a lot about God at the time,
you know I started praying, I started reading books. So had you been a "church person" if you will, prior?
No, nope, never. So prior to this, you're in the fast lane, you're doing your business career and
just because a friend says you should come to the church, you were open to that.
That is a fairly sudden change. And what I hadn't realized, which I now realize, is that people are brought into your life for a reason.
I know that God's been watching over me, like I didn't really realize this, and probably until about probably six to eight months ago.
And then that person, he introduced me to, yeah he convinced me to come to church. I came to church.
And then I had this thirst. I was like what is this all about? And I went to Alpha a few times
I joined a bible study, women's Bible study class, I studied the book of Romans
And so for somebody who's just about to read the Bible to start with the book of Romans, was pretty empowering.
And so I spent 25 weeks going through the book of Romans with 200 women.
And it was unbelievable. The story of Romans just absolutely just opened up
my heart and my mind to you know everything that happened. And so then I started reading the Bible
And so then I started on reading the Bible. So I finished the Bible in 2018, that was my goal in 2018 so I read it
from cover to cover. So when you were going in for the surgery, and that moment, that kind of key moment
Did you have a sense of God's presence with you then? You can tell I get real emotional when I talk about it now
I didn't realize how much God loved me!
I talk about it now and every time I say it I could feel myself just well up.
Because I never had that and it was just it's unbelievable! I'll never fathom how much, how much He loves me.
And so through that process around how much He loved me and He forgave me and
it really really just it didn't matter what was gonna happen through the surgery, if something
if I wasn't gonna be here, than that was gonna be okay. So if I were to ask your friends how's Tina different today
than the Tina of three, four. five years ago what would they say?
More at peace. Happier. Thankful. Grateful. More forgiving of others, less judgmental
Warm, kinder, gentler. That's a lot. That's quite an overhaul.
So the whole healing thing can be a struggle for people. What would you say to someone who
is in a similar situation to you, struggling with a health issue, scared, nervous about their own health and well-being
and whether they are going to make it. What would you say to a person?
Faith is so important and you know having your trust in God...it just it has to be there.
But here's the other thing I would say is that your time on Earth, and this is the one thing I've learned
in the last couple of years, your time on Earth is so short. Because at the end of the day, it's you know we're
gonna be together, with God, in an eternal life and so that for me was it.
I had gone though my entire life trying to control everything and I had to finally realize that I had to
surrender to God and I didn't know what that meant and so through this process I finally learned what
surrender really meant. But then you said that you even when you went into surgery
you weren't crossing your fingers saying "I hope I come out of this alive" you were saying
"Even if I don't, I now know God loves me." And so that for me, this transformation, the 180, this is absolutely it
and that was the turning point for me. Yeah. That's a fantastic story, thank you so much for for sharing.
And thank you so much for encouraging others, I am sure that your story is going to bless many people.
And I also want to say thanks to all of our listeners for tuning in to this week's podcast.
If you enjoy what you heard today, why not give us a Like on Facebook or give us a thumbs up on YouTube.
You can also check us out online at stpaulsbloor.org.
Please join us again next week on The 180 Podcast as we hear more stories about how God is changing lives today.
*music outro*
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