Hey we're talking today about how to feel gratitude deeply. Now maybe you have
discovered this video because you have discovered that if you have if you feel
gratitude if you feel grateful you're gonna feel happy they say that you can't
be ungrateful and happy at the same time actually what they say is you can't be
grateful and unhappy at the same time so if you want to be happy
deliberately boost your gratitude levels hmmm okay that's that's all well and
good but how do you actually feel gratitude how do you feel it enough to
change your life and to have the kind of life you truly want to live well let me
share with you some stories okay welcome to tactical beliefs and course stories
this is where we look at the the stories were telling about ourselves about our
identity about who we think we are who we feel we are what were worthy 'evil
we're deserving of and we change those by throwing in some tactical beliefs
some things that we would like to believe that will be constructive and
help us to get the kind of life so you want okay let me tell you a little story
about where I was when the wheels were falling off of me my life was really
falling apart I was so angry and frustrated I was in my head all the time
my life was just falling apart nothing was going right and but I got to tell
you I was sure I knew what was wrong I hated my job and if only I had a
different job life would be better I don't know if you've ever been caught in
that same idea that if only this one thing changes in my life suddenly
somehow I'm gonna feel better well that wouldn't have changed anything in fact I
lost my job and started because the wheels are fallen off my life was just
completely falling apart but at that time somebody handed me a
book on happiness on this science of happiness and I was so excited because
there's science to this you mean there's something I can actually do to change
things in my life you know I'm waiting for this next job to come along to save
me but what if what if I could save me now I was so excited I anyway I read
through the book and the thing that stood out the most was this practice of
gratitude that you can't be grateful and unhappy at the same time and since I
finally owned a owned up to the fact that I am really unhappy now well if I
can truly be grateful that I can be happy right anyway it was this amazing
experience and what they had me do was they had me do a practice of writing in
my journal every night before I went to bed three fortunate things that happened
to me and that that was supposed to boost my gratitude levels so that I
could start to feel happy okay and all the science was saying gratitude is the
key to being in control of your life into feeling in control into having
these positive emotions feeling happiness feeling peace feeling
contentment gratitude was the key and I really wanted that well about a week
into it nothing changed in my life I wasn't you know nothing was really
happening I remember one night just being so tired as I was going to bed and
I dragged myself up the stairs I'm just so tired and I'm angry and I'm
frustrated it's been another hard day and then I saw my journal and I realized
I had not written in my gratitude journal and so I was so angry I was
gonna throw it I can't remember if I even wrote anything that night but I had
made this commitment to myself that I would write three fortunate things each
day I couldn't think of one let alone three and I was tired and I was
frustrated I don't even know what happened that night but I know what
happened the next day because it is something that changed my life
say I was driving down the canyon I live up above Sundance and at that time the
road narrowed so that there was only one lane on each side going down and if he
got behind somebody that was slow you were behind them for a long time you've
been there right you've done that well as I started eight well first of all as
I'm driving down I'm thinking in my mind I'm
not going to be tired and angry and frustrated like last night so
so before anyway I'm gonna look during the day and see I'm gonna find something
to be grateful for in the daytime and I'm gonna look now and find that so I
will have that for when I write it in the night anyway so so I'm thinking that
and as I come up to this guy who's going so slow I'm just about to lose it you
know my face is getting red my knuckles are white cuz I'm just so frustrated I'm
gonna be behind him for five miles and just really losing it
but just as I pull up to him he pulls off the side of the road I see my
opportunity you've been there right you know you floor it you fly on by and I'm
thinking ha sucker you know and I fly on by and then I'm looking in my rearview
mirror and as I look there I see this guy hop right back onto the road and I
realized that he wasn't just pulling over he wasn't stopping he was pulling
over for me I was the recipient of his deliberate kindness and that's what
gratitude is it's it's recognizing you are the recipient of deliberate kindness
there's been this exchange of love somebody has loved you enough to do
something kind or generous to you and and as I fly past him and I see that I
think in my head hey that's something I can be grateful for and all of a sudden
I started to feel something because I actually did mean what I was thinking I
actually meant it I I was so thankful for that guy I was so grateful that he
was kind enough to me he didn't know the emotional state that I was and he didn't
know how my life was falling apart he was just doing something kind and I
didn't deserve it but he gave that to me and as I felt
those feelings all of a sudden for the first time in what seemed like years I
felt truly happy I hope you experience these same things I hope that you can
figure out how to feel gratitude so deeply that you recognize this
connection this exchange of love that has happened between you
somebody else or you in nature or you and God or whatever but that you feel
gratitude you feel grateful for this blessing that you didn't earn that you
don't deserve but that they gave to you because they love you when you start to
feel that that's gonna be amazing so how do you do that well first of all you
have to prime the pump do you know what that term means you know when they would
have these hand pumps and things to kind of pump the water up out if it was dry
if there's nothing in it and it's so hard to get the water up you need to
have this water seal and so generally what they would do is they'd pour water
down that would then prime it and then you could pump and water would just gush
out but first of all you need to start it so in order to feel gratitude being
the recipient of deliberate kindness in order for you to do that you need to
turn the tables and you need to show kindness to somebody else somebody who
doesn't deserve it maybe it's forgiveness that you're gonna
give to somebody maybe it's a kind gesture maybe it's flowers to a stranger
maybe it's opening a door for somebody whatever it is if you will first show
kindness out of pure love not expecting anything in return but if you will prime
that pump you will be able to feel those feelings of those feelings of joy those
feelings of of love of connection that will change your life so here's the
activity for today and anyway I hope you love it so think of somebody that you
have not properly thanked somebody who has done something kind to you I want
you to reach out to them and I want you to send them a letter of expressing your
appreciation for them expressing what it is that they did for you why that made
such a difference why they're such a great person how you just love who they
are share as much love just pack as much love and honesty and genuine in
tristan them in that letter and then if you really want to boost it i want you
to call him up or visit them knock on their door and share that letter with
them and you could just kind of imagine in your mind right you can imagine
yourself on the door nervously your hands are kind of sweaty this is like
not confrontation but this is interaction with a human being that you
haven't done for a while but as you read them that letter and you share that love
that you have for them you're going to be priming that pump you're gonna start
to feel the true emotions of gratitude and that's gonna let you know this
absolutely works grateful people are happy people and you have the
opportunity to choose that so as you do this as you as you start to prime the
pump as you start to feel these emotions of gratitude and showing that by showing
kindness to others you're going to start to learn that you can receive kindness
you can receive generosity you can receive love when i when i noticed that
that guy pulled over and and showed me that kindness one of the things that
came to my mind was that was such a simple gesture I bet kindness happens to
me all the time but I haven't been paying attention I haven't been aware of
it I haven't been conscious of what's going on around me but as I started to
practice and you can do this too I want you to then make it a nightly practice
to not go to sleep until you write three fortunate things that happen to you as
you start to do that you're gonna start to condition your mind for all the good
things going on in your life and most importantly you're gonna start tapping
into those deep true feelings of gratitude of that exchange of love for
someone else and when you feel that you feel abundance what are your thoughts
you've had time to think now it's time for you to share in the comments section
below share your thoughts ideas and questions especially any insights that
inspired you to take action of course the best place to take
action is at Scot Wilhite comm because if you join me for a free web class I
will reward you with a purpose planner so you can start each day with
confidence clarity and conviction your identity is your most valuable
possession it's who you are why you're here and what you stand for
choose your beliefs and pick your identity it is choice not chance that
determines your reality see you next
time
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