hi everyone so we're still talking about conversations and relationships and why
our relationships so hard sometimes you know thinking about this and you know
it's like do we do we find ourselves constantly arguing with people or often
arguing with people around us and sometimes we just think why our
relationships so hard so that's what we're going to talk about today and for
those of you who don't know me I am Cheryl Piper Ascended Unity your only
one thought away and that's my tagline and I like to talk about that and put it
out there because really you know our thoughts create our reality and your
only one thought away from peace joy hope all of those wonderful things and
we're going to talk about that a bit more as we get going but let me know
that you're out there put some some likes that would be great love the likes
I love the wells and any comments that you can put in I appreciate that I'll
try to respond and answer I am here by myself oh it looks like we're having a
little bit of technical challenges things will yeah there we go things are
smooth back out again and I just need to do a little bit of housekeeping here so
if you can just let me know that you're out there that's great let me know where
you're from where I'm also going to be doing something a little bit different
today I am going to be sharing a screen with
you be able to talk about some of the conversational intelligence things that
I talked about in our last few broadcasts so let me just there we go
well
and here we go now we can go ahead and share that over and I will hide that
screen open things up so I can share my screen with you soon and this is going
to be my first time sharing my screen so I you know just not really sure where
I'm going to show up so when I do that you can just type in the box or
something and let me know what's going on that would be great I'm like I said
we're talking about conversational cocktails which is the
webinar I have coming up this Friday February 2nd at 2 o'clock Eastern Time
hi Lisa thanks for joining just getting started here and so that is kind of what
we've been talking about the last few weeks in discussing conversations and
you know how come it seems so hard sometimes and and you know we just not
quite sure what's going on so we're going to be delving into that deeper
today what I thought that we would talk about is I'm going to go ahead and and
do my screen share with you but oh my goodness now I can't find it like I said
I haven't done this yet so hmm I really want you to be able to see what I'm
talking about here so I'm not quite sure where that went right all right well
we're just going to talk and so I have what's called the conversational
dashboard and boy it just comes in so much handy or if I can show it to you
and just pause with me for a second Lisa it looks up oh hi Kim Kim just join paws
with me guys for a second I have not shared my screen yet on Facebook and I
just downloaded to be able to do that and I practiced before I came on and
everything shared wonderfully but now all that button seems to be gone and hmm
you know what it's okay I'll have to figure it out later let's just go ahead
and chat so what we're going to talk about today is the conversational
dashboard and what it looks like is it it goes from red to green and it talks
about things along the way like are you in a resister state of mind if you're
going to resist your state of mind that's that's when you're in that space
where it no matter what someone talks with you about you just really resist
that thought you'll find every reason to prove it wrong state how it's wrong
you're just in a very resistor state and when that happens it's it's that area
when we were talking about last broadcast that area of the brain called
the amygdala when that the amygz look oh my goodness my words when the amygdala
has that amygdala hijack and we go into that protect mode then our level of
sight is really tightened up and we really aren't able to see different
ideas or new ideas we can be in that real resisters state and so when we're
talking with someone and we see that that's really what's going on that
they're in a really hard resistor state then you know what we maybe would like
to do is not try to get them all the way into you know creative thought that's a
huge jump but the next level up on that chart is called skeptic and so if you
can move from resistor to where you're not interested in hearing anything that
has to do with anything about that subject to skeptic then at least
when you're moving into that space of skeptic you're starting to open the mind
a bit more you're moving yourself out of that threat protect mode by simply
moving into a thought of well I don't know you know I'm I'm gonna just kind of
I'm gonna you know be skeptical about that that's why it's called the skeptic
but at least in that state of mind you're not completely resisting every
thought you've stepped into a space of being a skeptic so if something is said
when you're in that state of mind that kind of resonates with you then you will
much more quickly move up that charge into creative thought and so the next
level up from that is called wait-and-see and you know I'm sure
there's a lot of times that you've been in conversations or you've been with
people in conversations and you can see the look on their faces like a well and
you can tell that's a more of a wait-and-see type of a thought process
and so that kind of sits really kind of right in the middle of that chart and
it's not all the way open in that in their thought process but it is in a
space of wait-and-see and so once again if something is said in the conversation
that starts to resonate with you or resonate with them if you're the one
speaking then they're gonna be much more quickly moved up to that next level
which is called experiment and so when you're when you move to experiment
that's where you're you're actually willing to well you know maybe let's try
to look at this or or let's look at it this way or what would it look like if
and and that's that's kind of that experimenter space because we're really
opening our mind up or to that level of thought and then of
course past experimenter is where we move into that co-creating space that
space of inspirational thought where we really do have that oxytocin going which
is what we talked about before being that feel-good neurochemical that's the
I call it the love drug it's that's that's the chemical that's released in
us when we do something kind for someone when we go out of our way to just be
kind be compassionate and that feeling that comes over us
that's oxytocin that's the feeling and so we don't know what that is we've
experienced that and so the more that we can move into a state of feeling or
being in this way and our level of thought the the more we're going to be
in a space of being able to have our minds open be open to creative thought
the open to ideas coming to us to inspire us because that's what happens a
lot of times is we get we have our minds opened up and then all of a sudden this
this inspirations just dropped right into the middle of us and and we're like
wow what about this and we get this idea and where did that come from you know
that comes from that space of being open and being open to having inspiration
come to you because think about it if we're down in that space of resister and
you know skeptic our level of sight it's it's not very broad we're still in a
pretty much of a protective scanning fear mode because that's what happens
when we go into that amygdala hijack it really is fear and sometimes fear can
just be paralyzing and you just don't even know how
because remember what I said before about that amygdala hijack we're going
to do one of those four things it's gonna be fight flight freeze or appease
and that all depends on who you're talking with because let's let's say
that you're in a situation where you're talking to your boss or your manager and
they're just really coming at you with you know stuff that is not kind is a
really threatening to you and making you feel bad like well you don't know what
you're talking about and why did you do it that way and I mean just listen to
the tone of my voice when when someone speaks to you in that way that a niggle
it takes over and says well there's threats going on here I need to I need
to protect and so in that situation being there sitting with your boss you
may appease and what that is it looks like is when you're just nodding your
head and agreeing and they think you're agreeing with them you're not really
agreeing you just don't want to deal with it sometimes this happens in
situations with a spouse or with friends you know you just don't want to deal
with it and you're just going to appease and yes yes yes and so that's one of
those four things that I mentioned that you go into with that amygdala hijack
and so I wish I could show you this chart why I have got to figure this out
well you know what I'm just gonna read a little bit because this chart is talking
about ways to create that space that allows the mind to open when someone is
in skeptic when someone is in oh okay Lisa see you in a bit when someone is in
skeptic mode when someone is in that full means of a hijack of resistor so
what this is is I'm just going to kind of read a little bit to you if we being
the people who are speaking to them can you really show
pairen see you know just really be able to be transparent with our conversation
with our thoughts with our feelings it helps to remove that level of threat so
focusing on something and sharing it with with that person because that shows
that transparency and then another thing is relationship you know determine you
know what's important to someone else and really being able to step into their
shoes when you can be transparent and then build that relationship of being
able to step into someone's shoes that trust starts to come back and that's
what we've been talking about with that amygz oh hi jack
or are we in a space of co-creating difference being face of space of
co-creating where the oxytocin is flowing that's a state of trust where
being in resister and being in that amygdala hijack and cortisol is flowing
which is the stress hormone that's a state of distrust and so moving someone
into that state of trust is so important to having you know the best conversation
and communication with another person so another area is understanding you know
listen actively you know listen to connect this is so important because if
you're listening to be right which sometimes and and we've all been there
that's definitely a state of resister listening for something to be wrong so
that you can be right or are you listening to connect so thinking about
those things and being able to move into that state of co-creating and helping
someone to move into that state of co-creating we need to be listening to
connect and so what it is they're saying to us we listen
four things that we can connect with them we can connect with a situation
where we understand and they know we understand this is truth this is
authentic this is not I mean if you try to do these things and you're not being
authentic people can tell that you know they can tell that you're just you know
trained and then they're going to be thrown right back into that amygdala
hijack big of distrust because you're not being true to who you are and people
can sense that so this is all about you putting your heart out there you being
kind you being compassionate and when you're in that state people do respond
and it's much easier to bring them into that space to be able to have
conversation with you so oh my goodness I can't believe it I always like to talk
about fifteen minutes that's been sixteen and a half already
I've not gone through everything I wanted to chat with about today but you
know really wanted to talk about this conversational dashboard and of course
in the webinar I know I will be able to share my screen and talk with you
because you know that's easy I've done that before and there won't be any
challenges there so you guys will be able to see all of the charts that I'm
talking about all of the tools that are available to help in moving into that
state of co-creation getting that oxytocin flowing so check out the link I
put the link in on this post where you can register for the webinar which again
is this Friday February 2nd two o'clock Eastern Time and I'm Cheryl Piper a
scented unity and remember you really are only one thought away have a great
day
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