the second one being do do not do things that you hate is it possible in this
life especially after coming off of our last conversation work we're human
beings carrying around heavy burdens Chris being crucified right
metaphorically how do we avoid doing things we hate well I think we should
define hate first carefully okay it isn't it doesn't mean do not do things
that are difficult it doesn't mean stop procrastinating and
attend to your duties it means if what you're doing makes you
feel weak and low and contemptible and mean then you should stop doing them
it's a signal it's it's like the voice of your conscience except it's more
embodied it's like oh I just felt miserable when I did that I was ashamed
of myself maybe that's another way of of stating the healthiest don't don't do
things don't do things that make you feel ashamed now it's tricky because you
might say well what if you're more ashamed of things than you should be
well sometimes that happens right you have an overactive conscience well then
you have a dialog with your conscience you talk to other people to find out if
you're being too hard on yourself but you might think well if you wanted to
exist on good terms with yourself then doing a bunch of things that you
regarded as shameful is not a very good pathway to achieving that sure and so
and you can you can notice and that these are these are these are what would
you say these are injunctions to pay attention it's like I'm not saying
follow other people's rules although some often you should do that but that's
not the issue the issue is watch and decide for yourself decide when you're
saying something that you regard is untrue and don't say it it and notice it
will make you feel weak if you say it like you might feel sneaky and
manipulative and that you got away with it and that's sort of arrogance and I
wouldn't recommend that that's a bad pathway but often it makes you feel
little and small and useless and ashamed it's like okay if you don't want to be
miserable and wretched in your life then stop doing the things that make you feel
that way so that's a shame is a defense mechanism you think a natural defense
mechanism against bad behavior so generally speaking is that what shame
often indicates is that you did something that worked real well now that
will bite you invite you badly in a week or a year do you think shame is
associated with religion are all or is that just a natural human response both
because it happens that you and animals to you you can Steve seem to be able to
see it in dogs yeah yeah I think that it's both it's that a person without
shame is a dangerous person sure because they don't have any compunctions about
violating the social contract and you might say well those social contracts
arbitrary and it's no it's not like the element of the social contract that
involves reciprocity that's not arbitrary at all you can't
have a relationship that's sustainable without well you do you know you go out
of your way for me thank you very much but then I track that and then if I have
a chance I'd like to repay that maybe with a bit of interest and that's a
great dynamic a you do something good for me and then I notice that and I do
something a little better for you we get that going back and forth it's like been
said we have a relationship it's a great arms race yeah it's an arms race upwards
yeah it absolutely is and so that's part of the natural ethic and I would say
when you to the degree that your conscience is functioning properly
because I think it can malfunction too but to the degree that it's functioning
properly it's gonna tell you when you're violating the basic rules of reciprocity
like look when your dog comes bouncing up to you all happy
you don't cuff it right now even if it doesn't hurt the dog you know you're not
being cruel it's just not something you know that that's not if you want the dog
to continue coming up to you happily then you don't cuff it when it does
something positive and so if you violate that you should feel a shame because
it's a signal from the wiser parts of your being that you're going to pay for
your impulsive idiocy so so that's what that not children I would say have shame
before even the realization of religion totally it's definite so I mean I don't
know how how it plays into the larger part there but there some of what
religious belief tries to do and and apply to ethics as well is to codify
what is shameful because before you articulate it and and try to encapsulate
it in rules and principles like like pay attention to your shame okay that's
pretty low resolution don't cheat at games okay that's a lot more articulated
but it's it's it's a reflection of the same thing because you'd say well if
you're playing a game with someone and you cheat you violate the game then the
game can't continue for you or for the other person and so that's a bad deal
and you feel ashamed well that's good because that helps you maintain your
ability to play games but then you can articulate that you can say oh there's a
general principle there which is don't cheat when you're playing games and then
you can elevate that to the status of a commandment saying something like that
so then the religious injunction sort of sits on top of the biological reality
and they match and that's a really good interest that's a really good thing you
know and I think some of the prohibitions against sexual impulsivity
have that basis it's like well don't don't sleep around casually well why not
it's like why can't sex just be casual and fun it's like well it's too you
can't divorce it from the rest of life I could say you try to divorce your sexual
conduct from your emotional life well okay if you do that five hundred times
what sort of person are you it's a vice-like anything else yeah well
it starts to violate the reciprocity arrangement with other people it's like
well we can just use each other for sexual pleasure it's like well you know
you lose yeah you bet you bet you lose women yeah and the more you practice
doing that the more you'll lose it it's not a good thing it's not a good thing
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