Hi Tiffany! Hi there! Can you guys hear me okay? Yeah I can hear you perfectly, can you
hear me? Yeah I can hear you fine. Sorry about that ladies I have dropped the
ball on Instagram, I just need a little help there! No and I was also saying earlier I was like look,
this is live and this is the beauty of live is you get to see all the behind
the scenes but also I mean let's give us all a break there's Instagram post
Instagram lives Instagram stories so there's a lot going on here and I'm
really thankful for you taking the time to join us today thank you. No problem,
thank you! So Tiffany, I already kind of give them a
little bit of an intro to you but I would love to hear from you or you share
with the audience you know who are you what you do obviously you just talked a
little bit about drop the ball but tell them what that is as well.
Oh absolutely! So my life's work is advancing women and girls that's what I
do and that's why I'm pretty much on the planet. I feel really lucky because I get
to execute that purpose in several different ways. Right now I am spending a
lot of time talking about drop the ball because I released the book last year
and people are still...Excellent book! Go to Amazon get drop the ball it's it kind of,
actually for me, when I read it Tiffany, just so you know—and this is not just a
suck up—but like it kind of helped me change my mindset about stuff you know?
That's great! You know change it from feeling bad to being like nothing
to feel bad about this... So anyway I just have to give you a
little shout out, it's been amazing. That's the whole idea! And I
also do a lot of public speaking I work with Fortune 500 companies to help them
figure out how to retain in advance the talent in their workplace which they
were losing in droves which is why I wrote drop the ball. I also serve on
nonprofit boards that are really important to me, I'm on the board of
Girls Who Code and Simmons College in Boston. And
Monday, I'm launching a new venture called The Crew that is all about really
creating a place where women can thrive and can support one another. You can
go to find your crew and it's cru.com I love it.
Congratulations, that's amazing! You've had a busy year! A very
busy year but you know what if you're someone who's really clear about why
you're here and you have a life that's very driven by your passion in your
purpose yep then you're always kind of relentlessly executing and it really
does feel like a joy. Let me just tell you a
little bit how Mentor Monday works since you are first-time guest. So mentor
Monday is really our opportunity to give back to our audience and we answer their
submitted questions live on Instagram and then for anybody who's joining if
you miss watching this live you can always go to our YouTube channel and
watch any of our replays and and it's a great opportunity for us to get to work
with experts like you Tiffany to answer. We've got three questions so let's go
ahead and get started I know you have probably been asked a gazillion types of
questions out there but and what's really nice is that these are all
questions very much related to dropping the ball so let me grab my questions
really quick. Okay so the first question is how can I achieve more by doing less
which I'm sure you have literally a whole book about but let's see if you
can answer in like you know your best tips for this absolutely so you know I
would basically just mention the framework that's in the book because
obviously there's a whole book about dropping the ball yeah which it's that
I'm dropping the ball is essentially about getting clear about what matters
most to you separate and apart what matters to everybody else and yet me
what matters most to me is advancing women in girls and nurturing a really
great relationship with my husband and raising conscious global citizens mm-hmm
the second step is really getting clear about what your highest and best use is
to achieve what matters most to you instead of just being kind of obsessed
with our to-do lists every day which is what I used to be obsessed with and then
the last piece is really figuring out how you
meaningfully engage other people in your life because we don't look out in the
back and then trust me if you start dropping the ball and you don't let
anybody know ya it you're gonna hit some some bumps which I
did so meaningful engaging other people in your life but at the end of the day
you know I just reappropriated the term. I used to be someone who is
terrified of ever dropping balls and now I think it's really important that we
drop these crazy and realistic expectations yeah that we have of
ourselves to begin with but by the way are we I was at the United State of
women summit this weekend and Michelle Obama was the keynote speaker and she
actually said women have a higher standard for other women and for
themselves like we demand perfection of ourselves and I think your message is
super super important like you can actually achieve more by doing less you
just need to reprioritize and know what items to drop the ball on and I thought
that was just such a you know it's such a real you know that but when someone
else does it and they articulate it like that you're like you're right we've got
to put ourselves some slack and communicate with each other like you're
saying like let people know what you need to drop the ball with that's it
yeah yeah okay the next one next question that came through which is um
what are your best tips for starting the process of letting go yeah so I guess it
depends on what stage your act if you are like on your bathroom floor in tears
because you're so overwhelmed you can barely do anything yeah you know I would
say in that state you want to take your cell phone or your device and you want
to just call someone who you know has your best interests at heart
now if you wanted to tell them I know this sounds crazy but I am on my
bathroom floor in tears I'm so overwhelmed and I'm so stressed and I
don't have a plan and I'm just reaching out to someone because I need up okay
but you want to do in that case if you have more time to reflect and you really
think there are a couple of exercises that I think are awesome one was me
popular about I this guy named Steven Covey he wrote a book called the seven
Habits of Highly about that book that's a funeral visualization exercise where
you really think about your life in the future personally your funeral and what
would imagine three people a friend a colleague a family member
eulogizing it right so what would I say about you at the end of your life it's a
very important exercise to get you out of the trees and really looking at the
forest hanging out of your day to day because at the end of the day you don't
want people standing up at your funeral saying well you know she got a lot of
things done on our to-do list the second exercise that I would encourage
everybody to do is to get a collection of people who have known you at
different parts of your life particularly ones with people have known
you when you were a child now and just ask them to share with you about a time
when they experienced you at your best yeah and then be quiet record them if
you can transcribe everyone's response even better and then lay that out on a
table or on the floor and start circling words and phrases that are similar to
one another that's amazing ever people have had a consistent experience with us
since we were in kindergarten but you forget that because you're in your own
skin living your own life and it is a really empowering and powerful exercise
to really take a step back and look at the feedback from other people because
it really will help you tap into your best self and your superpower yeah
absolutely we had a question just come through that I think it's great which is
um after stepping back how do you trust yourself to re-engage with the world of
work in a meaningful way so once you've gone through those exercises and now
it's been made obvious to you what parts you maybe need to step back on or about
the ball with how do you read engage like how do you take away and then go
back in yeah it's really tough so the I would say dropping the ball is a
practice it's kind of like yoga you know you take little steps and there are
times when you're gonna slide backwards so the whole idea of this like yoga it's
like if you're not very flexible it's okay yes you know right be perfectionist
drop the ballers okay so you're going to set your intention
you're gonna communicate to other people around you um let's just say you know
you're gonna drop the ball on the dishes I don't know yes please you're gonna let
people know and when the dishes start piling up and
you're literally getting anxious and then begin to get hives because you've
never left the pile up that high up you're gonna just you're gonna relax and
you're gonna practice you can imagine all the things you're gonna imagine your
funeral you can imagine all of the things that you could and should be
doing in order to make the world a better place and to live your best place
if you weren't obsessed with the dishes and you said as a silly example it's
probably something much deeper than that but it's practice right right so if
you're going back into work it's like first create this framework or this
foundation and then practice it practice it and baby steps and then eventually
like you were saying with the yoga example which I love because I'm not
flexible at all so when I go to yoga I'm like what am I doing here but um it's
the same ideas like you'll work your way up into that so you should reengage you
have to reengage back into it that's it um okay so last question that we got
which was how can you tell whether you're feeling burned out oh sorry how
can you tell while they're feeling burnt out is a sign you need to take a
temporary break like a vacation or you need to change jobs entirely and I think
that's probably a super-popular question that you get a lot which is what is the
burnout really signaling yes so all of us have
things that bring us joy and one of the recommendations that I make in the book
is to find these moments of joy hopefully on a daily basis one of the
things I encourage us to do what if here's someone who's like I have an
experience joining so long I don't know what is you know what that is right and
you think about when you were a child what you used to do when I was a little
girl I used to dance with reckless abandon to make Janet Jackson tapes you
know and they'd be like the ribbon would come out and I would have to like take
the pencil for me what what brings me joy and that was a little girl that's
just like putting on music and dancing and dancing and dancing if you for 10
minutes or 20 minutes or three minutes or even an hour can engage in whatever
it is that brings you joy and after you experience that you feel like you've
made a little bit of a comeback like you can come back to life that means that
you don't to leave your job that's right you know
it means that you just need to really kind of regain perspective and tap back
in to what matters most to you and really get centered and organized and
induce the mindset shifting in order for you to be able to get back you know in
the swing of things again if you do something like that for
20 minutes 30 minutes an hour and afterward it makes no difference yeah
you'll feel like you're down in the jaws not sign that you might need to get more
help but out something deeper that might be going on it could be your job it
could be potentially depression but I really encourage you to seek out more
help and access resources if that's you I'm curious in that question do you
think a lot of people assume it's their job do you think most people immediately
like when something's not going well they're like oh I hate my job it has to
be my job I if I can fix my job it will fix everything else so here's the thing
one of the things I learned when I was a young manager I want you a really
amazing course called managing to change the world and I'll never forget the
statistic that nearly 50% of people who start jobs are not a good fit for the
job okay so in Wyoming and then are not a
good fit and what happens is that poor management means that people don't
really want to admit that the person who hired them doesn't want to admit that
they made a bad decision a person who's in the job doesn't want to admit they
mean it that decision you usually know within about a week I mean it doesn't
take long for you know very mistake but what ya do is compensate for that and
that's where the challenges and the problems begin and so if you feel like
this may not be a good fit I think the most important thing for you to realize
is that's okay and that's probably normal all right eight but it may not be
I got to really seek out I think really great managers and certainly mentors and
sponsors in your environment who can help you keep mystify what's going on
yeah absolutely no I think I think that's great I you
know running career contessa obviously we hear a lot of you know I don't like
my job how do I change it and one of the pieces of advice from somebody we had a
webinar about how to switch careers and her first thing was
is it that you don't like your job or is it the culture the boss the manager you
know like really getting clarity about what it is because otherwise you just
take that wherever you go and um anyway so some really great tips and I also
think you're just really solidifying um kind of what that person had said which
is hey wait wait wait hit the brakes for a second do some internal work first and
so that we can then go into you know what it is that we need to change
because other reason is taking that to the next job as well that's it yeah well
Tiffany thank you so much for joining us today and where can people find you and
find your book and can you give us just kind of the directions of what they
should do next they should definitely go to tiffanydufu.com
in order to find me and then I also could encourage people
to check out findyourcru.com and see yeah yeah and then just as a
reminder guys her book is called drop the ball how to achieve more by doing
less which I think we can all sign up for we don't want to be slaves to our
to-do list so Thank You Tiffany again and we hope to have you back here soon
thank you so much! Bye! Bye!
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