I am glad that you joined me, uhm that you guys joined me today. There's...there's so much
there there's just so much I can't wait to tell you over the course of this week
right? This whole topic about relationship building has been on my
mind in like a really really big way. I'd like to think that my take on it is what
differentiates me from a lot of other coaches out there who talk a lot about
audience and talk a lot about community building but what I'm seeing is there's
not a lot of community. There's not, there aren't deep relationships that are
happening within the audiences and within the community. There, and
there are other relationships that are being neglected that are crucial to
address before you get to that right and all of them have to do with the
relationship with your business and that's why we're all here in the Women's
Business Garden, right? We have a business and we want it to succeed and we want it
to be sustainable and people keep going to a variety of things to get their
business off the ground or to keep it running or to make it grow but if it's
not going back to the foundation of relationships it's gonna be problematic
and as I was thinking about so right I always give you guys a peek behind the
curtain. As I was thinking about this I started noticing...so I've been thinking
about this longer than I told you guys I've been thinking about this for months
right and I actually started working with a new coach who has made me think
about it even more and as I was thinking about it I realized how I was starting
to go away from my number one value one of my number one values is relationships
deep authentic meaningful relationships so if I were to rate my core values
that's a top one. And I was starting to lose sight of that a little bit we're
gonna talk about that today and and I wanted to stop that and I wanted to make
sure as I start talking to other people I realize this is a a problem area for
many business owners right because there's so much thrown at you in any
given day and it's very easy to get wrapped up in your day
and the day to day and it's very hard to remember right about relationships and
coming at things from a place of relationship building and I get it I get
it because relationship building isn't quick right and I do not ignore the fact
that people need money to pay bills and people need money to eat
I mean, right? Like we're we're in business but we're not all like in a
place where we just have this luxury of just sitting back and waiting right so I
understand that but at the same time you simply can't neglect the root of
everything I mean to speak in garden analogies because, puns, right? It's the
whole reason I named Women's Business Garden Women's Business Garden so
I could use garden puns. Relationship building is the root of everything right
but what I want to talk to you about so that's why I decided to have this series
this three-part series this week to talk about relationships and
relationship building and three different key areas that make a
difference in your life in your business in a meaningful way and I thought it was
important enough to allocate it over a whole week right I mean I even made you
guys register for this right so if you guys can't tell how important I think
this is right just know it's super important. Hi Rachel, hi! Oh my gosh hi , Rebecca
if I don't see you say hi please I will I promise I'll come back and say hello
um so I broke it out into three topics and today's session is about the
relationship the most important relationship in your life and this is
the relationship that we have with ourselves the relationship that you have
with yourself right this was something that came up a lot when I was date
coaching and it's funny because I always go around and talk about how everything
that I learned right when I was being date coached that allowed me to go on 35
dates in 35 days and heal myself and change my life right it did change my
life everything that I learned being coached and then coached people on in a
certain way as a date coach myself for a years
all of that translated to the business world right and it can't be any truer
than this statement which is that no one can love you more than you love yourself
right that's what I used to say because right now I there was a discussion I got
into on the Women's Business Garden retreat and I want to clarify something
I do believe certain people can love you more than you love yourself right if
you're going through a hard time can your husband be loving you more than you
love yourself at that time can your parents be loving you more than you love
yourself at that time can your siblings and your children absolutely right
that's not what I'm talking about I'm not talking about these deep connected
family relationships and familial relationships that you know you're going
through a struggle and you really are going through something hard but loving
yourself and other people can step in and love you for you right so I
acknowledge that and I am NOT talking about that here. I'm talking about
just the people we're encountering when we're networking or talking to them
about our business or these relationships that we're going out and
building in that non kind of connected unconditional love family way alright
hi Rachel! hi Rachel Kraft. Hi Rachel Poxon. All the Rachels are here okay so
no one can love you more than you love yourself but that's true in business
right and you can insert any word in place of love so no one can like you
more than you like yourself no one can respect you more than you respect
yourself no one can believe in you more than you believe in yourself no one can
trust you more than you trust yourself right? Like, NO ONE. It has to start with
you and I could go into universal laws and I could do we don't have time you
know for all of that today but it is important to recognize right and to know
that how other people see you and feel about you and when I say you I also mean
your business it starts with you right so it's very important that you dig in
and evaluate how well do I like myself how how well do I respect myself right
how do I treat myself do I love myself how do I am I you know do I trust myself
all of these things right so tell me like
in the pre-work I gave you guys some words right so I want you guys to
interact and I want you to type and be talking um I gave you some pre-work and
one thing was to write down the immediate reaction that you had to three
phrases right one was your business one was your pricing and the other was you
so tell me like let me know what comes up for you what are the immediate
reactions to some of those words right like when you think of your business
like what just pops in your head? A feeling an emotion a phrased words an image
when you think about your your pricing what pops up in your head what
feeling what emotion that's the same thing
what words what thoughts what images right and when you think about you just you as a
person operating in the world guys what comes up for you right this is... Rebecca
so Rebecca says it could use momentum right so it's not moving fast enough for
you or there's not there's not enough of that motivation or emotion there right
so Virginia is like I love my business my pricing is just right but for herself
right successes and failures joy yeah the world of duality right we can't have
one without the other. Great! Business - fun oh, I love these guys, I love these, right? I'll
tell you I'll reveal something I'm gonna reveal a lot about myself today we're
probably gonna go over 12:30 too a little bit we'll see um when I first started my
business when I first started my coaching business
I felt like an imposter I don't know how many other people have felt like that
right like Who am I to come out into the world and start telling people how to
whatever right that's when I was a date coach right I went from being a lawyer
a business attorney into date coaching and one of the first thoughts when
people would talk about my business was how can this be a business how is this
real Who am I to go tell people how to date right like is it who who would want
to pay for this? I remember thinking who would want to pay me
for this right what kind of value am I really bringing these people I mean
these were real legitimate thoughts that were going through my head right so I
see that Rachel says yes definitely feeling the Imposter Syndrome lately it's
real and it doesn't you know it's not like you kill it once and it's gone
forever right it can creep back up as you grow into your business thank you
for sharing that right so I want you to know that this is a safe space where you
guys can definitely I mean if you want to sit back and just watch that's okay
but the more honest you are in the answers here and the deeper you go right
the more of a change you're gonna have right you lack of self-care to be able
to regulate emotions. Lisa that's a that's a really big insight right so
hold on to that because we're gonna work through that right I'm gonna share with
you something about my reaction to me when I think about me towards the end
right but these words whatever they are okay so whatever they are and they don't
will change these reactions to phrases are gonna change over a certain time so
even if I know a lot of people who are feeling not as fabulous about their
business not as certain on their pricing not really believing that everything is
correct a lot of people don't want to share that in a Facebook live video
setting and I completely completely respect that right so I'm talking to you
guys don't feel like you have to interact but I do want you to listen to
me right so this all ebbs and flows and changes at different points in your
life and different points in your career but these whatever they are those
initial reactions positive or negative they all come from the past right I'm
sure you've heard that right everything that's happened to you from birth until
now right is kind of this experience that you've gone through and all of your
experiences spur your thoughts about anything right you hear the word
Republican you have a thought you hear the word Democrat you have a thought
your word money you have a thought right you hear the word airplane
you have a thought whether that's a feeling or an image or whatever you have
a reaction and it happens without you thinking about it and those reactions
come from our past experiences good or bad right what is important to note
about those experiences is that every experience causes you to make a decision
about I watch a decision about yourself who you are as a person right so we're
really trying to get into who we are and I'm gonna give you a real personal
example right growing up I was overweight no not a
shocker right but I was overweight growing up in school and that was a
situation right that's an ongoing situation I was overweight as I went
through school and so a decision that I made about myself based on that
situation was that I wasn't lovable as I was right now this is all work I did
date coaching... so I wasn't lovable the way I was because I was overweight
right so therefore I had to do things to get people to love me right I had to go
out of my way to be super helpful I had to you know I I had to help them with
their homework I had to drive them places I had to put them before me I had
to you know to do all of these things to earn people's love and respect because I
didn't feel the decision I made about myself being overweight was that I was
not worthy right of getting that just from being me that I had to do something
extra I had to be extraordinary and extra special right to get people to
like me so the decision about myself was I wasn't worth love and admiration the
way I was right the choices then that made me make in life were kind of like
I said right I...my love love choice, my love choice based on that right ...talk
about, thank God I went through 35 dates and fixed this. I was attracted to people who
didn't like me back right because that was normal to me you
weren't supposed to just like me right I had to earn you I had to earn your love
so I would be attracted to guys who just wanted to be friends I
would be attracted to guys who had partners because I thought if I could
just get them to pay attention to me instead of their partner right there's a
lot going on there like one time so as I talk about these if anybody wants to
share a kind of a situation and how its created a decision about you that you
think's affected your business choices please do right and I'm going to give an
example of that I my dad left my family when we were young right when I was
young my my dad left us so a decision I made about
myself was that people leave me nobody stays right people leave and the choice
the way that affected my business choices was to operate at the beginning
of my business from a place of scarcity people were going to go away
clients were going to leave members were going to leave and nothing was going to
come back right so I operated my business from this place of scarcity and
that as you all know is another you know Facebook live for another day but it
made me needy it made the...you know what you think becomes your reality and
so I was operating thinking there was gonna be a lack and scarcity and guess
what everybody there was a lack and there was scarcity there was a lack of money and a
lack of clients and a lack of everything right and I self fulfilled the prophecy
thinking people were gonna say no and leave me by creating the energy in the
environment that made people say no and leave me because I was operating from
scarcity how many of you like type 1 in the box how many of you have had
whether it's now or in the past had issues with a scarcity based mindset
something about there's not going to be more to come in there isn't enough out
there there isn't going to be enough I'm not gonna reach the right level right if
you feel like that's you type one in the box right so everybody knows we are not
alone right with this yeah so see and Virginia said getting divorced was a
nightmare and that's a factor in offering mediation services to help
people avoid that right yeah so I see one one yes one one okay so
guys are with me on this scarcity based mindset so the reason I bring this up is
we obviously can't do this like through the whole Facebook live right but I want
you to spend some time thinking about situations and events from your past
okay and what that caused you to decide about yourself about who you are as a
person and then how do those decisions we'll focus on business choices how do
how do those decisions about who you are how does that impact the choices that
you've made in your business or that you continue to make in your business right
and the reason that I want you guys to work on that and our next session isn't
until Wednesday so you have some time to do that and in fact I'm gonna e-mail
everybody after again like with the practices right from this but um I want
you guys to really be thinking about that because that's the only way we can
rewrite how we feel about ourselves because again how we feel about
ourselves is how other people are gonna feel about us how we treat ourselves
that's how other people are gonna treat us right if we don't believe that our
services are worth a certain amount of money it won't matter how confidently we
say it the other people on the other side of that transaction aren't going to
feel it either right if we think there's a scarcity and we're operating from that
place other people are gonna feel like that needy energy in us and be like
whoa maybe she's just needy and clingy she doesn't really like me for me right
going back to dating but that happens in business so that's deeper than we can do
in this session that's one part that's the first part of healing the
relationship with yourself that's important how do these decisions about
you affect all of your business choices how you interact with yourself how you
interact with your business how you interact with other people how you
interact with clients how you interact with potential clients the choices you
make about right wrong good bad processes procedures that all comes from
decisions that you've made about yourself and all of those decisions are
from past events right so it pays to spend a little bit of time this is not
the fun work but this is the important work sitting down and thinking of
that's right and just acknowledging them because that's the only way you can
rewrite them to change them is to know that they're out there and the reason
right that that I start here is that your thoughts everybody who's ever heard
me speak knows this your thoughts become your feelings and your feelings lead to
your actions and your actions create your results so if you want new results
it's not enough to just change the actions right you gotta go all the way
back to the thoughts and change those thoughts to create new feelings that
will spur new actions that will create new results right you might be able to
change the actions and have a temporary new result but it's not sustainable and
it won't last if you don't go back and work on your mind your mindset and your
thoughts that cause that whole chain anyway right so we're trying to have new
results in your business or trying to have new results with the relationships
that you're creating to ultimately grow this very deep and successful
sustainable business that's a whole new result which requires going all the way
back to the beginning and changing your thoughts right and Ali says that she's a
youngest in her family ah this is a bit your place in your family middle old
creates a lot right therefore I feel this need to prove myself right I always
feel like my sisters are smarter excels more which has led me to compare myself
to others my entire life and I think it's Laura Casey who says that
comparison is the thief of joy right comparison is the thief of joy
and when you're so busy comparing yourself to other people you're not
figuring out who you are right you're so busy focused on them and who they are
and what they're doing right and how you stack up against that but you're not
even thinking about who you want to be and what you want to do right so that's
a big revelation Ali and I really want to thank you for sharing that with
everybody there maybe you can give her some likes and loves and like when
people share here I'm like I just great it just makes me so happy and I love it
right so like and love Ali let's give all the love to people who open up and
share like that okay so that's the first little bit I
want you to work on right it's your mindset part about your
decisions about yourself and rewriting the ones that aren't serving you
rewriting the ones that aren't getting you to be able to connect with people to
get people to respect you if you don't like you if after looking at this you
don't like you and you realize you're not respecting you and you don't like
the choices that you're making based on the decisions you've made about yourself
you've got to change these right you gotta change these okay the next part
right if you notice in the pre-work how many of you guys did this or how many of
you've done it before but I had you guys just type 1 if you did it or if you
thought about it or if you've done it before I had you guys write about your
ideal day your ideal business day what that looks like it feels like it smells
like it tastes like right you know how many clients do you have where are you
working from what are the personalities of the people you're working with what
are your hours what's your schedule right what are you doing in a day how
are you spending the day what tasks are you doing what tasks aren't you doing
right all of that or your ideal business day okay so before I get into talking
about that I'm gonna explain to you why and I see a lot of people have done that
that's really great if you haven't done it yet that's gonna be part of what
you're going to work on between now and Wednesday session right okay so the
reason I had you guys do that is we are made up like if you I'm gonna lay some
science on you we're made up of something called our self-concept okay
our self-concept is who we are our thoughts our judgments our morals our
beliefs we think is right or wrong good or bad what we do what we believe all of
that morals all of it right that's our self-concept we are just one big cloud
of self-concept but our self-concept is made up of three areas so if you're
taking notes this is the place to take notes our self-concept is made up of
three things okay our self ideal and our self ideal is exactly that who would we
be if we were the perfect person if we could do everything we wanted and have
every choice that we make work out we had every
sorts available to us and everything that we're doing just works out right
what would we be doing how would we be spending our day what would it be full
of who would we be around what would we be talking about what kind of food would
we be eating what kind of you know how would we be spending our free time
would we be riding a bike or reading a book if we're reading a book are we
reading a fiction book or a nonfiction book right so really tapping into who
would we be what would we be doing if we were a perfect person right if we could
just always do everything we wanted that's our self ideal that's part one
right . Part 2 is our self image that's what are we doing right how are we spending
our day what are we eating who are we around what tasks are we doing how are
we spending our free time what does our environment look like where are we working
from what are the hours were working right
that's our actuality so we have our ideal or self ideal what we want
everything to be like and we have our self-image how everything is right and
the third part is our self esteem and self esteem is how well you like
yourself which is what we're talking about today right self esteem is simply
how well do I like myself that's it - it's not confidence I want to put a little
side note it's not confidence confidence means making eye contact smiling working
a room shaking hands right being able to talk in public that's confidence you can
have confidence and have really low self-esteem
you could be up on that stage working that stage and go behind the curtain and go
I'm such an imposter I can't believe anybody listens to me I was an idiot I
look like the fool nobody respected what I said everybody hated it oh my gosh
what am i doing right you can have confidence and have low self-esteem
self-esteem is simply how well do you like yourself right which now we've
already talked about where that might come from but this is a new piece to the
puzzle right because here's some news here's the good news right the more that
our self ideal who we want to be and what we want to be doing is in alignment
with who we are and what we are doing right the more that those line
up the higher our self-esteem the more that those are out of alignment the
lower or self-esteem that's it that's the puzzle there are no more missing
pieces to that those are every single piece you need that's it it's everything
the more we are doing what we would be doing in our ideal life everyday the
higher our self-esteem and guess what guys
when our self-esteem is high fear of failure fear of rejection and fear of
other people's opinions gets lower the lower our self-esteem the higher those
fears right so it's really important that we have high self-esteem so that
fears of failure rejection and other people's opinions are low and the only
way we can have the high self-esteem is by looking at that ideal life that you
guys mapped out right you can do it in every area not just business but really
look at it and ask yourself how well am i doing that where am i out of alignment
and how can I get in alignment with it type 2 for me if you think you're not in
alignment with your ideal day type of 2 if you think you're not in alignment
with your ideal day or if you could be more in alignment with your ideal day
and I mean down to details the food you're eating the way you're spending
your free time the hours that you're working the people the clients the
customers you have you know the way you are out when you're networking you're at
events like how many are out of alignment with who they want to be or
what they want to be doing right in some way it's so important to notice that
nowhere so here's I know it's 12:30 we're gonna go over by about 10 minutes
but it's so worth it right hopefully you guys think so um but here here's the
thing right here's the thing a lot of people say but Rita I always love that right
but Rita my self ideal is on an around the world cruise and my self-image can't
afford an around the world cruise time or money so am I just screwed am I just
gonna have low self-esteem forever and ever and ever and what I asked them is
why why do you want that around the world cruise what's the why and maybe
they say I want to experience other cultures
and I say great what's one way that you can experience other cultures right now
in alignment with your time and money and they might say well I can watch a
documentary I could go to this museum exhibit I could read this book I could
join this discussion group I could go to this Meetup I could go you know to this
restaurant right so there's some way that they can still be an alignment with
going on an around the world cruise that's not the around the world cruise
right they want the around the world cruise because they want to experience
other cultures there is some way right now that you can get in alignment
with every single thing in your ideal day so the second part of your
homework is to figure out where do you need to get into alignment and then how
can you do it you might not be able to do the thing in your ideal day quite yet
right but you can do something that gives you the same result as why you
want that thing to be that way or do that thing the more you can do that
quickly the higher your self-esteem the higher yourself esteem the more you like
yourself guess what the more you like yourself the more other people like you
right I see do you see it now are you feeling it and liking yourself is the
key to authentic relationships because when fears of failure rejection and
other people's opinions are low you can be you you can say what you want to say
without fear you can implement the things you want without fear you can ask
for what you need without fear you can bring to the table what you want to
bring to the table without fear right and it's that that allows you to have
deep and meaningful connections with the people that you're interacting with in a
variety of ways right so to do that you have to have a high self esteem and to
have high self esteem ya have to be living your ideal day so you have to
know what that is right so you got your mindset right now you know what your
ideal day is right now we know how to work on the mindset part and how do we
like ourselves and what does that mean for the choices that we're making and
what are the ideal choices we want to be making and evaluating are we aren't we
and getting those in alignment right and the last piece of the self esteem and
relationship puzzle and healing the relationship with
you are your core values so who wants to share some part of the homework was or a
part of the pre-work was identify three of your top core values right like mine
are community relationships and and family right community relationships and
family those are three of my top three and my core values I've got others humor
right but like what what are like some of yours just type them into the comment
box for me so I can see some right but and if you haven't given any think about
it right now right what are some of your core values and the reason that I asked
this and your ideal day side note your ideal day is rooted in your core values
okay so whatever you describe your ideal day it will start revealing what your
core values are if you don't know because your ideal day is rooted in your
core values okay the type of...so mine's community family and
relationships those are like three of my driving core values right deep authentic
real meaningful relationships deeply connected community those are those are
just two of the top right and so please share I'm not seeing any comments I
don't know if you guys are typing or not and it's just not showing but you know
some people say financial right financial responsibility some say
respect some say justice some say friend some say love some say there are all
kinds of core values right type in a few that are important to you so I know so I
can see right but the reason that I bring this up is that a part of our
ideal day since our ideal day is rooted in our core values to like ourselves to
have high self esteem means we have to be living those core values and a lot of
people will say to me but Rita I am I'm living my core value living my core
values and I will say are you sure and I'll give you an example so some people
will say a core value for me is respect and I say great how well are you
respecting other people and they'll say awesome I respect other people
wonderfully and I'll say perfect great how well do you stand up
for other people who aren't being respected right so I am directly
respecting you awesome do I stand up for other people who are
not being respected yes Rita when I see other people not being respected I stand
up for that I'm a member of this organization and I advocate for this and
I stand up for it awesome but then I asked the third most important part how
well do you respect yourself are you honoring your time blocks do you believe
yourself do you keep your promises do you keep your commitments do you respect
you? uhhhhhhh is usually the answer I get, right? It's the same thing for love right I love other people I love
love love awesome when I see other people being abused and not being loved
I step in right I help great how well do you love yourself uhhhhhh how well do you
practice love for yourself self-care all of it? uhhhhhh do you guys see a pattern to what I get?
live your core value is doing it all three ways and if you miss one way
you're not living your core value you're not living in alignment with it you've
got to whatever your core values are you have to make sure that you are doing
living that value for other people like directly when you're interacting with
other people so if community is one of mine when I talk to you guys I'd have to
be fostering community real community to be able to live that core value right I
have to be standing up for it in other ways I have to be advocating for
community which is what I'm doing with this series right but in a variety of ways I
need to be making community making space making sure other people know that their
communities are advocating for third parties for community and then for me I
have to be living community for me and am I part of a community and am I in community
with my family and am I in community with who I would want to be in community with right not
just leading it right so did I see that core values you have to be living it in
three different ways and again if you guys are commenting I can't see them
anymore the comments have disappeared so after
the video I will go through and see so if you have comments please keep typing
them um so it's really important that you ask
yourself when you identify your core values and again if you have those
please share them in the comments am i living this directly with other people
fully am i advocating for this with third parties fully am i standing up for
it right in a variety of ways outside of my direct interactions fully and am i
doing it for me and so these are the three ways that you can start healing
the relationship with yourself okay you need to work on your mindset identify
those decisions that you've made about yourself based on your past and how that
affects your choices and then for choices you don't like choices you don't
want to be making rewrite those decisions about yourself then for your
ideal day start aligning your life with it in some way really know what it is
get clear on it and start doing things immediately in alignment with your
current time your current money to start living that ideal life to align them
right the more you do that those two things your self-esteem is already
up and we already know that fear of failure rejection and other people's opinions
goes away which allows you to have a real connection and be authentic great
and then finally your core values ask yourself how well you're really living
them are you living them in all three ways are you doing them for other people
are you doing them to stand up for third parties and are you living it fully for
yourself because that's the one people usually miss right and only then when you
start loving yourself that's how you love yourself fully you're living your values
you're in alignment with your ideal day and you have the right decisions about
you and who you are right and when you do that and you're
operating out in the world right then other people are gonna feel that and
mirror that energy back to you you will like you you will love you you will
respect you you will honor you you will trust you and other people will do the
same for you right and that's a game-changer guys so won't matter about
all this other stuff I'm going to tell you about all week long if you don't first
go and fix this because this is the root this is the stuff under the ground
right it's gonna grow everything that we're talking about and so that's what I
wanted to tell you right so now look back how well do you like yourself
thinking about these things where can you where can you work on what
can you do to like yourself more to love yourself more to respect yourself more
to believe in yourself more what areas do you need to focus on right, write
those down um and I'm gonna close by sharing
something so please if you have questions please type them again I can't
see anything so I don't know if you're all just being quiet or if you don't
have any questions but if you have anything please type or do something so
I know just type to let me know you can hear me and then I'll see and like I
said it for some reason that the comments aren't showing for me I will go
back and answer them when this is over so but I want to close by sharing a
personal story about myself I told you that I started slipping away from some
of this stuff right and it was hurting my business
in fact my business has stalled for a little bit and it wasn't my business it
was good and I love all my clients and I love everything that I'm doing but it
had definitely stalled right my business had absolutely just hit the spot where I
felt like I was banging my head against a wall okay and and I will go into that
more in more videos but um so I went back and I examined this stuff and I
noticed that some of the old decisions that I thought I had worked on were
creeping back up right mainly the decision about me having to do a lot and
give a lot for people to like me right and that scarcity the two I shared
at the beginning the scarcity based mindset
those were starting to rear their ugly head again and I had to ask why why were
these mindsets coming back up because it was keeping me in scarcity it was
keeping me from asking for the sale it was keeping me from then charging the
rates that I knew that I was worth it was making me feel like an imposter all
over again like and I had asked why why were these coming up and I realize it
was because I had started falling out of alignment with my ideal day right here's
the thing I built my my Women's Business Garden business up wonderfully I have
amazing clients I have a full client load right
but I have too full of a client load to the point where I'm stretched so thin
with my clients that I'm not... I'm able to serve them and they're all having
miraculous breakthroughs but I can't go as deeply as I want to with each of them
I can't push up my sleeves and dig into their businesses the way I want
because hours in a day just simply don't allow for me to do it the way I
really want to be doing right I have started making choices out of alignment
in other areas of my life with my health and my wellness and working out and
sleeping and time with my husband because again I let myself build up such
wonderful because I wanted to help so many people and I wanted to help so many
different people in a variety of ways I was giving a lot of free programs and
I'm doing you know a couple of group programs and then I really I just could
not say no to these amazing people I wanted to work with right and so that
meant that I was starting to live out of alignment with my ideal day right, I wasn't
working out I wasn't eating right again I wasn't spending time with friends I
wasn't spending that much time with my husband and guess what fear started
popping back up fear of failure fear of rejection fear of other people's
opinions right I wasn't making choices in alignment with my core values anymore
because I was like a scarcity based mindset again and I was in fear a
little bit and I was scrambling and I wasn't being authentically me and I
wasn't creating the community that I wanted to create and the deep
relationships that I wanted to create right so I sat down and I noticed this
and I said something has to change and I went back to the work I had done with my
previous coach and got my mindset you know tidied up again I was like no
this is ridiculous right I am NOT the Rita of five years ago when I started
coaching Rita now has a lot of experience under her belt I was a
business attorney before that right but Rita now has a lot of experience this
is I want I'm talking through this because I want you guys to do the same
thing for you okay Rita now has a lot of experience and I
had a lot of experience going into coaching I was an attorney
and I have coached many people to grow their businesses and make good profits
I've gotten people married I have helped people change their lives in real
significant ways I have a lot of training I have a lot of experience I
have seen a lot and done a lot over the past five years I am not the same Rita
that started coaching five years ago so why am i charging the same rates that
Rita did five years ago why am i why have I not changed my business model
since I started coaching right I don't know how many of you feel the same way
when you look back if you do let me know in the comments right but that's very
real why am i why am i evolving in every way but treating myself and my business
like I'm not when it comes to the logistics of my business right that was
like and that's what was limiting me from being able to go deep with my
clients you know I because I was stuck in scarcity and because I was stuck in
my value right having to give away things to make people like me and no
one's just gonna want me the way I am all of those started resurfacing right
so the way that I cleaned it back up I went back through and I have a brag file so if
you guys keep a brag file it's you know how you can go ahead and brag on
yourself and feel good about your accomplishments keep all your
testimonials all your wins all your all the good stuff that's happened all the
compliments go back and remind yourself of how far you've come right so that you
know your value fix that mindset right live your day and align it with your
ideal day. that's everything that I did right and when I started doing that then
the mind...the fears went away and I started getting clearer about my ideal
day and what I needed to do to bring that into alignment right so this is the
first time I've announced this but I am um I'm changing for the first time in
five years I am changing my model my business model and the way that I work
with people and it's going to result eventually as as I transition into this
into fewer clients but clients that are ready to go deeper and do more more work
we're really committed to the end result who are ready to invest themselves fully
because I plan on investing myself fully I plan on giving more time
I'm a more attention than I ever have before giving more resources giving more
of myself as I kind of changed the backend of my business to allow for that
time while still having time right well still having time to go work out and eat
the right foods and see my husband and go speak and do trainings like this and
do all of this right and so that new model is is transitioning immediately as
of November and what that means is that I only have three spots which freaks me
out a little to say still a little... three spots to work with people between now
and the end of the year all right that's it
so if any of it I know some people here had talked about potentially working
with me and I can just tell you that if you're
that person I talked about the one who's ready to go all-in and and and really
say this is the year I fix the relationship with myself so then I can
fix relationship with time and money which we're going to talk about on
Wednesday and then I can you know create my community create my tribe build my
business live my values and do do what I want to do the way that I want to do it
right if that's you if you're like I don't want to wait anymore
I want that level of success I don't want to be stuck I don't want to be
stopped I want to keep growing I want to keep moving I want to keep advancing forward
and I don't want to wait right then you probably want to talk to me so and if
you find that any of this is hard to identify your core values or to know
what your ideal day is like or to work through those mindsets the decisions
that you've made about yourself right so we can get yourself esteem high if you
jotted any of those down as being problematic message me let me know
Say, Rita I want to have a strategy session with you right and we'll have a
complimentary strategy session and we will work through things and at the end
we're going to see if moving on and working together to do that is the right
fit. If it's not then it's not. if it is and it's the right time then that's great and
if it is I can tell you to be really really really excited about what's gonna
head your way I'm really excited I've got a couple clients are really excited
and you could feel that excitement again you could feel that energy again about
new things right new growth new energy new everything that's gonna flow into
your business right so if you think that that might be you please reach out to me
right because this is the first time I've ever said
I'm limiting the number of people I'm taking! like my husband still can't believe I'm like
this because I'm usually like I want to work with everybody but like no I'm
legitimately changing my business model and so and I'm ready to dive in right
with these kind of clients who are ready to invest all of themselves so I can
invest all of myself right so please if you're having an issue with anything we
talked about today let me know between now in the comments I will answer them
message me I will try my best to answer as much as I can before our next session
on Wednesday because how I tell you to improve your relationship with time and
money won't matter what you implement won't matter if you haven't done this
work to improve the relationship with yourself first right you can hopefully
see how that truly is the root of everything and if you don't have that
strong root what happens to a tree in a storm it blows over right we want to get
you rooted so that a deep deep strong big root right so that you're able to
really have the success that you want so again I don't know if you guys are there
or not because everything disappeared for me I'm so sorry about that
freaking Facebook right hopefully you guys can hear me and like I said if you
have comments if you have questions if you have these please keep them rolling
in the comment box I will be looking I will be answering between now and our
next session on Wednesday if you want to talk with me if any of this resonated if
you know right because it won't matter what else it will I'm not even just
saying this is like a thing I really really mean it it will not matter what
else you do in your business what funnels create what lead magnet you
create what a number of people you have on your list what vendor shows you go to
what packages you create where you speak none of that will matter if you really
do not have this relationship with yourself in place that is how crucial it
is it will not matter guys I'm a hundred percent real on that and so I want you
to address this before you address anything else so if that is problematic
for you if you're like I cannot afford another you know month or two or three
months of wasting my time and my energy and my resources I'm ready for the right
business and I know that that starts with me then message me about
this stuff we will get it in shape I promise okay so anyway that's it I'm
sorry I can't see your questions maybe when I end I will be able to if you have
anything please let me know otherwise join me on Wednesday I think I'm just
gonna say it's a lunch hour seminar at this point. join me on Wednesday
and we're gonna talk about the next biggest relationships time and money and
how to have a healthy sexy relationship with both right because that was the
second thing that changed the game for me in my business actually having
healthy and sexy and exciting right relationships that I look forward to
with time and money okay guys bye if you can see if you can type say bye bye and
I will talk to you again I'm sorry this froze I will be working to answer any
questions and hopefully you found this really helpful right I can't wait to
hear everything that you do with your your decisions about yourself with
aligning your day with your ideal version of your day and with kind of
living those core values fully on all three levels and knowing that that's
going to make all of these fears disappear so take care have a good day
I'll talk to you soon bye everyone
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