today I have a very special guest here to talk to everybody about borderline
personality disorder as well as self-harm what is up everybody this is
Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the
solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about mental health
not only do I like to help all of you with your mental health and improving it
but I also like to spread a message of hope and increase awareness and decrease
the stigma so if you're into that kind of stuff make sure you subscribe and
bring that notification bell but something that I try to do is build this
kind of community or become more of a part of the community here on YouTube
with other youtubers who are talking about mental health like there's so many
people out there that you need to check out who are helping out with mental
health and also educating people on stuff and today my very special guest is
Serena she is from across the pond over the UK and she has a channel over here
called recovery mom okay so Serena has an awesome channel I found
it a few months ago and not only do my personality disorder and self-harm but
also addiction anxiety and all sort of stuff Serena I'm Kris thank you for
having me on your channel hi guys my name is Serena and my youtube channel
is recovery mom a little bit about me I've been diagnosed with borderline
personality disorder depression (BPD) anxiety bulimia of as a self Harmer I used to
attempt suicide multiple times drug addiction alcoholism
prenatal and postnatal depression I have four children so I have literally got so
much personal experience in this but all those problems are no longer problems
for me today and today I'm going to talk to you about self-harm now drug
addiction overspending eating disorders they are all forms of self-harm but for
the faith sake of this video I'm talking about ns
eyes which stands for non-suicidal self-injury there are so many reasons
why people self-harm and they can vary greatly some people might have
experienced trauma as a child and grow up feeling they deserve to be punished
and self-harm for that reason there are those of us that suffer such intense
emotions we just don't know how to cope with them and we self-harm we have
people that don't experience intense emotions in fact they're the opposite
they experience no emotions they own emotionally not and so they self-harm to
feel we can sell pharma for and get other people within self harm if we're
angry ourselves we can self-harm because we just don't know how to communicate
how we feel to other people and it's like help me so they're all like just
some of the reasons why we self-harm when it comes to self harming there is a
kind of scale I suppose and at one end on someone self harms they might need
urgent medical attention immediately at the other end you might have someone
that pulls out individual hairs either way wherever you are on the scale
self-harm is self-harm and is not coping not a healthy coping mechanism but for
us it is a way of coping so what is happening in our brain when we do this
why is the cycle so hard to break if for example you're feeling really really sad
and you go and eat a load of junk food maybe chocolate chocolate mmm and you
feel better in your brain a little neural pathway will grow so next time
you feel sad you're more likely to just go and eat chocolate and it'll make you
feel better and that neural pathway will grow stronger and every time you use
eating chocolate as coping mechanism for the sadness your neural pathway gets
stronger and stronger and stronger until eventually you don't even have to think
about what I do you just do it you feel sad to each other
that's it and this is what happens in our brain when we self-harm
we feel or don't feel a certain way and we self-harm and that neural pathway
grows so next time we're more likely to do it the other problem is that self
harming releases endorphins endorphins are our body's own natural pain relief
it's like morphine it's addictive so not only are we growing a strong neural
pathway so in the end we don't even think about it we just do it's addictive
in the nature that it's giving off an addictive chemical meaning we're more
likely to do it again and again it's harder to break that cycle but it is
possible to break that cycle now there are a number of things you can do I have
a book coming out in October the big book on borderline personality disorder
and I've got individual chapters on the trace and one of the traits is self-harm
so there's a whole chapter on that and I've got a lot of device in there but
I'll try and pull it down scale it down for this video one of the things is
distracting now you can distract in various ways one is self soothing and
that's do something nice have a nice warm bath decent relaxing music throwing
a friend stroke a pet cuddly teddy going to sleep just soon with yourself another
way of distracting is by releasing a burst of energy and doing something
really like physical exercise punch a punch back scream into a pillow go for a
run because this doing this exercise releases endorphins so we still get that
endorphin kick here but in a far healthier way than if we were self
harming other things you can do is make your house safe if you are someone that
cuts all that just clear everything away so next time you have that
urghhh you haven't easily got anything around you because this buys you time
what also buys your time is five minute rule when you have that urge just say to
yourself I'm not self harming for five minutes and because that's doable
five minutes is doable if you say I'm not so far me it just seems unrealistic
and you're not likely to take your advice if you say I'm not gonna
self-harm for five minutes and you hold it for five minutes
hopefully that buys you enough time for that urge to pass so one of the best
things that I have done is create something called a crisis box and it's
for when we're in a crisis because when we're in a crisis we're far more likely
to act impulsively or self-harm so a crisis box is of your own making you can
put as much effort into it as you want just get like a shoebox or a bigger box
if you need a bigger and put anything in there that and you could use and get
hold of quickly that might help you when you have the urge to self-harm it might
be a mindfulness coloring book and some pencils it might be a stress ball it
might be a CD of your favorite music it might be a DVD or for a funny film
literally it can be absolutely anything there are so many things you can put
into that box and the great thing is once you've got it there
next time you have that urge and the box is easily accessible you can just grab
it down and use something and it will buy you some time
please don't feel ashamed of yourself harming you can speak to a medical
profession you can professional you can ask for help you do not have to suffer
in silence and please know that there is a way out
I the last time I self-harmed was in 2014 and I actually have never even had
the urge sense so it's possible if I can do it any of you can do it say thank you
so much for watching don't forget to subscribe to my channel
thank you all right I hope you all loved that video as much as I did like I loved
one of the things that I loved those of you who have been around for a while you
know that I'm a big neuroscience nerd I loved how Sarina talked about how you
train your neural pathway for certain habits right and she uses you know the
example with chocolate but it can also be for self-harm this also is what
happens with addiction when we have specific triggers and we go to certain
habits it gets wired into our brain that's one of the reasons why this
channel's name the rewired soul because you can sort to rewire these various
habit loops so I love how she explained that and talked about it and also talked
about endorphins as well as other ways that you can get them so that's really
really fascinating stuff and I hope you all enjoyed that video but please please
please like something that I'm looking forward to is her book that's coming out
in October I need to hit her up and see if I can like check it out so I can do a
review of it on my channel maybe I'll even do an interview with her and talk
about some stuff in the book but in the description down below will be a link to
our book so you can pre-order it and get it in October I know I'm looking forward
to it so make sure that you check it out but
also like Serena talked about towards the end of the video like there's a lot
of different things that you can do to help yourself and recover but if you
have more deep-seated stuff and you need to talk to somebody about it like make
sure you check out the description below because I have a link to better help
online affordable therapy and you will work with a licensed therapist and start
working through some of this stuff all right so there'll be a bunch of
resources down below make sure you head over to Serena's channel recovery mom
like she covers a wide range of stuff not just self harm and not just BPD like
a ton of stuff over on her channel and she's also a mother too so any of you
parents out there like there's a lot of stuff about being a parent who struggles
with mental illness so make sure that you go over there subscribe to her show
us some love and also subscribe because pretty soon here I will be posting a
ghast video over on her channel alright but anyways I want to hear from all of
you down in the comments below what was your biggest takeaway what from this
video like do you struggle with BPD or self-harm
or if you don't like what are some of the things that you learned and now
you're enlightened about let's have the conversation down in the comments below
alright but that's all I got for you today so if you like this video please
give thumbs up and if you're new here I'm
always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional
well-being make sure you subscribe ring that notification bell and a huge thank
you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon and in case you missed
it we just launched a mental health merch shop that will be down in the
description below grab yourself a t-shirt or a mug support mental health
awareness all over the world wherever you're from all right but that's all I
got for you thanks so much for watching and I'll see you next time
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